"Don't grow up, it's a trap."

Peter remembered reading that on piece of cardboard some homeless guy was holding in the streets. Hindi maalala ni Peter kung bakit siya nagpunta roon, pero nang madaanan niya ang karatula, napatigil siya sa paglalakad.

In the middle of a crowd of adults walking as if life is chasing them, Peter found himself frozen in place.

'May ipinagkaiba ba ang pagiging matanda sa pagiging bata? O baka dahil wala lang akong maalala?' Isip-isip noon ni Peter bago kumuha ng barya mula sa kanyang bulsa. Marahan niyang nilapitan ang matanda at hinulog sa lata nito ang pera. Maliit na halaga lang, pero nakita niya sa ngiti nito ang labis na pasasalamat.

"Salamat, hijo. God bless."

Napahawak na lang sa kanyang batok si Peter, hindi sanay sa pakikipag-usap sa mga estranghero.

"Walang anuman po," sagot na lang niya at nagmamadaling umalis.

Peter sped up his pace, feeling the eyes of the man following him until he vanished into the sea of moving bodies. He silently blamed himself for his lack of social skills, especially when growing up in a society means interacting with people. And interacting with people means wearing different masks, different personas, and different personalities... just to seem normal in the public eye.

Much like a stage actor who takes on different character roles for different plays.

"But at the end of the day, which one is the real me? Who am I, really?"

That question lingered in Peter's thoughts, a permanent tattoo he can't seem to erase. Sa higit dalawang dekada na niyang pamumuhay sa mundong ito, pakiramdam niya malayo pa siya sa pagtuklas ng kasagutan. And over the past years he's been taking shelter in the abandoned theater, Peter thought his life can't possibly get any crazier...

That was until he saw a pirate ship flying in the sky above them.

"Like it?" Jester grinned beside him, studying his shocked expression.

Peter blinked in disbelief, even rubbing his eyes to make sure he isn't hallucinating things. Malay ba niya kung expired na pala 'yong tinapay na kinain niya kanina?

"Paano siya lumilipad? At... saan ka naman nakakuha ng barko?"

"Pixie dust! I... erm... stole a few sacks of it back at their hollow," he cleared his throat. "At hindi mo ba naalala ang barko na 'to?"

"Ha?"

"This is The Jolly Roger! Owned by your former enemy, Captain Hook! Rings a bell now?"

Peter shook his head. "Mukhang 'di naman siya 'jolly', mas tama yatang Haunted Roger! That thing looks like it came straight out of a horror movie!"

True enough, the ship looked eerie and surreal under the moonlight.

"Looks can be tragically deceiving!"

Jester laughed and took his hand. Bago pa man makapagreklamo si Peter, namalayan na lang niyang umangat na pala ang kanyang mga paa sa lupa at lumilipad na sila papunta sa barko. Pigil-hininga siyang kumapit sa fae hanggang sa ibinaba siya nito sa crow's nest ng barko. It was a small basket-like platform up in the mast, where a crew member would look out for land or any potential danger ahead.

Jester was silently watching him, flying beside the crow's nest.

"Hold on. This is gonna be a bump trip, Peter Pan."

"Hindi nga ako si Peter Pan---!"

"WEIGH ANCHOR!"

Maya-maya pa, bigla na lang may kung anumang mahikang humila sa angkla. Agad na napakapit si Peter sa railings ng nest nang gumewang ang barko. 'Anong nangyayari?!' Nanlaki ang kanyang mga mata nang biglang nagliwanag ang barko, isang matamlay na kulay lilang ilaw ang pumalibot sa kabuuan ng Jolly Roger.

"PREPARE TO CAST OFF!"

Jester gave another command, even though they were the only ones on the ship.

Nagulantang na lang si Peter nang biglang umangat pa lalo ang barko at nagsimulang maglayag sa kalangitan. He had to clutch onto the nest, his knuckles turning white as the pirate ship sailed off into the night sky, amidst the clouds and twinkling stars above.

The full moon silently witnessed the events unfold, as The Jolly Roger soared to greater heights.

"So, what do you think?"

Jester finally decided to join him in the crow's nest. And even though the space was a bit small for two people, Peter didn't mind. Nakatuon lang ang atensyon niya sa tanawing nasa kanilang harapan.

"This is... beautiful."

Jester eyed him with a teasing smile.

"I'm glad you're enjoying the trip. Off to Neverland we go!"

*

Hindi maintindihan ni Peter kung bakit sumasakit ang ulo niya.

'Not again,' Peter held his head in his hands, sitting on the deck with his back against the mast. Habang tumatagal, lalong lumalala ang sakit ng ulo niya. Ilang oras na ba ang lumipas? Gaano katagal pa ba bago sila makarating ng Neverland? At tama ba ang naging desisyon niya?

"Hey."

Jester sat beside him, probably looking at him with pity. Hindi na nag-abala pang mag-angat ng ulo ni Peter. Ayaw niyang kaawaan siya ng fae at wala rin naman itong magagawa. Maybe all this excitement was triggering something in his memories after all.

'Pero sana naman hindi ganito kasakit,' isip-isip ni Peter at naikuyom na lang ang kanyang mga kamao.

Jester cleared his throat, not knowing what to do.

"Malapit na tayo."

"Buti naman. May pharmacy ba sa Neverland?"

"Pharmacy?"

"O baka may magic kayo na makakapagpawala ng migraine?"

"Oh," Jester sounded apologetic. Not a good sign. "I'll find something."

Napabuntong-hininga si Peter at hinilig ang kanyang ulo para tingnan ang fae. It was a stupid question, asking for a pharmacy on Neverland. Pero base sa disenteng pananamit ni Jester, malay ba niya kung nag-modernize na rin ang Neverland? He can't exactly remember the stories.

Speaking of Jester...

"Ang akala ko maliliit ang mga fairy?"

"Ah, you must be talking about pixies and sprites," Jester explained patiently. "Mas maliliit sila. The faefolk are human-sized, well at least that's how it's always been in Neverland. Iba siguro ang kwento ng mga mortal. Baka nga hindi nila kami sinali sa literatura o mga pelikula ninyo."

Peter's ears perked up at the mention of other creatures.

"Anong ipinagkaiba ng mga pixie sa mga fairy? Hindi ba kayo parang magpinsan?"

Jester snorted and leaned his back on the wooden mast.

"Well, aside from the obvious size difference we have, pixies are mischievous creatures, having a more elf-like appearance. Fairies or fae, on the other hand, are more human-like---not to say we're not mischievous too, but the faefolk live quite differently. Mas mahigpit din siguro ang sistema at mga batas namin sa lipunan, lalo na tuwing nakikipagkontrata kami sa ibang nilalang."

"You mean the deal?"

"Yes," Jester simply responded. "The deal. But we don't need to go into details yet. Not with your memories all wiped out like that. Dahil kung naalala mo kami, dapat hindi mo na tinatanong ang mga bagay na ito."

Peter looked away. Sa kabila ng pananakit ng kanyang ulo, hindi niya alam kung ano ang dapat niyang maramdaman sa sitwasyong ito. What are the odds that he really is "Peter Pan" from those children's stories?

'But what if I'm not? What if they got the wrong guy?'

Bago pa man ito matanong ni Peter, Jester suddenly stood up and motioned for him to take a look. Nagtatakang tumayo si Peter at pinagpag ang kanyang pantalon, hindi makapaniwalang higit isang araw na pala siyang hindi nakakapagpalit ng damit. But all those thoughts quickly ran down the drain when the image of an island appeared in the fog.

Peter felt the ship lurch forward, flying closer to their destination.

His heart pounded loudly against his chest, his shadow telling him to run away from here as fast as he could.

Because Neverland looked just like that old theater back in Eastwood:

Enchanted.

Brilliant.

Abandoned.

"Welcome back to Neverland, Peter Pan."

---

"stumbling on skeleton fragments
withered dust of neglected years,
bones from healthy memories,
abandoned to mind's direst fears.

circling back to old burnt stones
where I sacrificed the former me,
absence of light is stronger here
and my shadow can no longer flee."

---John Gilman, "Absence of Light"