Time runs together in an endless night.

        I do not know how long I have been here. The moon hangs in the sky-round and full-and doesn’t move. I miss the sun more than I thought I would. All my life I have peeked into the bright windows of families whose children don’t have to worry about food. They not only have enough for what they need, but plenty left over for what they want.

        I was always jealous and never appreciated the simple things that life still gave me. Time, for one. Days that changed and nights that ended. A bright sun and colorful seasons.  

        Peter never bothers locking me up. There is no escaping Neverland. Nowhere to run. I try to count the days, but eventually I give up because I have no way to measure time.

        London starts to fade in my mind.

        So much has happened since I met a runaway called Kelvin. Sometimes I wonder where we would be if we’d never heard Felix play his song. Would I still be wondering the streets, begging for something to eat or looking for some odd job?

        I don’t miss the filth or the gray skies. But I do miss the normality and the sun and the chiming of Big Ben.

        Peter is busy. He avoids me for the most part. I know he is figuring out how to attack my world, but I don’t understand why he hasn’t already done it. He has the magic, the darkness. What is he waiting for?

        And how am I supposed to change his mind when he will barely look at me?

        I spend most of my time alone or with the lost boys. Several of them ignore me like their leader. Others will laugh and walk away. I try to learn every name and every face. But their stories are hidden deep inside them. Their past is their own and they will not share it.

        Daine is just as quiet as before, but now he is darker. There is always a scowl on his face while he practices throwing knifes. Many times I sit next to him while he whittles, but he rarely acknowledges me.

        Kelvin won’t look at me. He is aloof and different from before. The evil must have completely taken over his mind, because now he picks fights with the other boys. Nothing too serious, because thankfully most of them ignore the small boy. But I am afraid that one day someone will fight back. And I know he won’t be the one who wins.

        I walk with Bert even though he continually makes fun of me. He is the jokester like before, but he no longer makes me laugh. Now his witty comments are cruel and mocking. His words are sharp and jagged, but I’ve learned not to cry.

        Peter is right, the darkness is changing me too.

**

        “So is this what you do when you are alone?” Peter plops onto the cliff beside me. “Staring over the ocean for hours seems rather boring.”

        I glance at him. Why is he talking to me now?

        “You should be careful climbing these cliffs. You might fall again.”

        “I learned my lesson. I fly now.”

        Peter grins and leans back on his elbows. “No more damsel in distress?”

        “Well, you were never a good knight.”

        “Knights were boring. And smelly.” He wrinkles his nose. “They weren’t just story characters in my time. They were real.”

        I sigh. It is so easy to forget he has been around for centuries. “Why haven’t you attacked my world yet? Isn’t that your ‘big plan’?”

        “Yes, but there is no need to rush. I have all the time in the world.” He laughs at his own joke, but I don’t join him.

        “We are talking about billions of people here. You cannot treat that lightly.” I frown. “Do you even want to cast my world in darkness? Why would you?”

        “Why not?” Peter smirks, but his eyes shift nervously. “I’m the villain, right? Why wouldn’t I want to control a world?”

        Because he is just a boy. A boy who doesn’t want to grow up. This isn’t his idea.

        I take a deep breath. He’s here, listening to me. I have to try to convince him. “You don’t hurt girls.”  At least not physically. “And you don’t kill people.” He hasn’t said he’s killed any pirates, but some of the other lost boys might have. I can easily see Felix doing it. But not this boy next to me. “You aren’t much of a villain, Peter Pan.”

        He raises his eyebrows. “You still think there is someone else behind it all. That I am just a hero who has been cursed.”

        “I think you enjoy the darkness a little too much for me to believe that. But most of this is because of a curse. Someone’s curse. You’ve said as much yourself. Maybe you were never meant to be evil. And that is why you don’t kill, that is why you still haven’t attacked my world.”

        “Wendy…your theories are entertaining, but illogical. Can a curse be strong enough to completely change someone? And affect an entire island?”

        I weave my fingers together. “Magic is still somewhat new to me, but it seems limitless. I wouldn’t be surprised.” Which is why I am scared that the same curse will sicken my world.

        I raise my eyes. Tink told me that it would take more than love to overcome this curse. And even though she is right, love is the reason why I stayed, it is why I have to try to save them. I love people easily even though they have never loved me back. I still listen to Bert’s grumblings and try to reach past Kelvin’s surliness. I watch over Jacob even when he shrugs me away. I sit next to Daine though he never pays attention to me. The other lost boys have made it clear they don’t need my help, but I still try.  

        And all along, I keep my eyes on their leader. Hoping for a chance to show him how wrong this is. Love is irrational and selfless. It is hard, but that is what makes it beautiful.

        “You once told me it is easier to hate than to love. But love is stronger than hate.”

        “Do you really believe that? Besides, how would you know? You’re a lost girl. No one’s ever loved you.”

        It is true. I finger the strap of my bag. The bear that I dropped in a garden, a star that Daine whittled for me, a torn piece of grass from a meadow of blue roses, and an acorn that Peter gave me. A green hat that a fairy used to sleep in.

        People do not love me the way I love them. They do not care. Yet something inside me forces me to stay even when everyone else walks away.

        I know what it is like to be abandoned, forgotten. But I do not run because of it. I should be angry and hardened. But I am not. I am sad and broken, not bitter.

        I think of the worthless items in my bag. I hold onto them because they are pieces of the people around me-people who will all leave.

        Peter folds his hands behind his head. “I’m sorry. But no one has loved any of us. That is what makes us lost.”

        I clear my throat, my words heavy with sadness. “Why do you think I stayed behind, Peter? I could have escaped. But I didn’t.”

        “Maybe you stayed because you are a fool.”

        I rub my arms. “I’m not the only one who is a fool.” I turn back and look over the waves.

        Peter is quiet for a moment. Then he asks, “What do you see? Why do you spend so much time up here staring at the horizon?”

        “It has to end somewhere.”

        “You can’t get to your world that way.” He points at the blue ocean.

        I sigh. “This is a magical island. What is wrong with pretending?”

        “Nothing.” He stands up and brushes off his black pants. “As long as you remember that it isn’t real.”