"Tonight's pairs! I'm gonna pair some people up with people they've never done improv with before! Hayley with Ashley, Pete with Mikey, and Jon with Brendon. Then you guys can go backstage and change for the play," Lynn, the local arts coach, says, looking at her hand, which has little notes in pen scribbled all over it. "Prompts! Yeah, prompts. Shit. Where's the bowl of prompts?"

"Got it!" Ashley almost shouts, holding up the bright orange bowl with slips of paper inside.

"Cool. Awesome. Ashley, Hayley, you're on in 10. Mikey and Pete? You guys are on after them." Lynn hurries past them, into the closet with all the makeup and costumes.

Mikey, to say the least, is inevitably fucked.

Pre-show improv? With Pete?

Mikey would rather jump out of a moving train.

He doesn't just like Pete. He wants to pin Pete against a wall and fuck him for two hours straight; but obviously, that won't happen.

"We're going on out!" Ashley calls out, taking Hayley's hand and leading her onto the stage. Mikey hears applause, then silence. Their improv skit begins. Mikey's fairly sure they have a prompt involving a citizen trying to woo a Statue of Liberty impersonator.

Pete puts a hand on Mikey's shoulder, causing him to yelp and jump forward. "Oh," he sighs, "you scared me, damnit."

"Sorry." Pete apologizes with a sheepish smile. He clears his throat. "Anyways, are you ready?"

"Yeah. I think their skit is about to end, anyways."

Mikey peeks his head out of the door and sees Ashley and Hayley, heads bowed.

"This had better be good; my brother's in the audience." Mikey comments as Pete nudges him.

Mikey grabs Pete's hand and walks out onto the stage, raising their arms above their head. He walks to the prompt bowl, takes a slip off the top, and shows it to Pete.

Two strangers see a snake.

Pete starts to bound around the stage, waving his hand.

"Oh my god! Officer! Help me! Help, you've got to help me-" Pete says in a rushed tone, jumbling his words together frantically.

"Calm down, citizen. What happened?" Mikey asks, polishing the imaginary badge on his chest.

"There's a snake! There's a snake and it's going to eat me! I'm going to die!"

Mikey stops for a second. He points to the ground beside him. "You mean that baby snake right there?"

"No, I mean that giant snake over there!"

Mikey seemingly can't hear Pete, as he's now mumbling to himself. "What are baby snakes called? Snakelings? I'll have to have Rosemary find that out."

"Officer, please! Officer, are you even listening?"

Mikey turns to face Pete. "Why, of course, citizen! Have you tried telling the snake to have a nice day? That's what I do with my mom," Mikey says, earning a few fits of laughter from the audience.

"No, I'll try that."

Pete slowly walks over to the imaginary snake, careful not to turn his back to the audience. He steps behind it.

"Hi there, little snake-y," He says, mocking fear. "There, there, I'm not going to hurt you- ah!"

Pete jumps back. The snake must've lunged.

"Anyways, I wanted to tell you to have a nice day, and that you are loved and appreciated on this big, messed up planet we call our ho-"

Pete screams and starts to run around, shouting at the top of his lungs.

"It bit me! It bit me, officer! Officer, I'm going to die! Officer, you've got to suck the poison out of it!"

"Calm down! Where did it bite you?"

"My lip!"

"Now hold on, I'm not going to suck poison out of your lip just because you told me to-"

"You're a police officer, not a prostitute!"

"And how do you know that?"

"If you were a prostitute, you'd have a hick-"

Mikey's suddenly really glad that only people who are age 20 and up are allowed to this show.

"Hush! There are innocent eyes and innocent ears all around! We're in a public park, you buffoon!"

Pete leans towards Mikey's ear and starts to whisper loudly, "If you were a prostitute, you'd have a hickey and bruised lips."

It takes Mikey a few seconds to think of a response. He's trying really hard not to get hard right now, but the way Pete whispered in his ear is making it really difficult.

"Do you want me to suck your poison or not?"

"Please."

"I don't know..." Mikey scratches his chin.

"That's okay, I do!"

And suddenly, they're kissing. Not really, though. It's just a stage kiss. It probably means nothing to Pete, but Mikey can still feel that sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. He can feel his heart pounding, and the ringing in his ears is almost deafening. And holy shit, there goes his mouth virginity. He had his fucking first real kiss with Pete. Sure, he's kissed people who he's hooked up with, but he's never had a real kiss before.

Pete pulls away.

"Um, officer?"

"Hm?"

"I don't think it worked..."

And with that, Pete falls to the ground. Mikey bows his head. Pete gets up and does the same. There's a round of applause from the audience.

Mikey holds Pete's hand and holds them high, walking offstage and smiling to himself. He could've sworn he saw Gerard in the crowd, a wide smile on his face.

Once they're backstage, Pete pulls his hand away and spins Mikey around so that they're facing each other.

"Okay, you're probably gonna hate me for making you kiss me, but I couldn't help it. Also, you look really fucking cute and I should really stop talking now. Bye!" Pete rushes his words.

The next thing Mikey knows, Pete's running away from him and shutting the door that connects the main room backstage and the dressing room.

Mikey's face is beet red as he makes his way back into the dressing room. He looks around. Everyone but Pete is inside, adjusting wigs and applying makeup. Dallon looks up and moves his wig to the side. He walks towards Mikey carefully, yet hurriedly, trying not to let the wig move any more than it already has.

"He kissed you! I told you he liked you!" Dallon says, shaking Mikey's shoulders.

"Shut up," Mikey looks down, smiling a little.

"Have sex in here. I fucking dare you."

"I said shut up," Mikey groans, batting Dallon's shoulder. He goes to the mirror beside Ashley and opens the container with his name on it.

It's no secret that Mikey likes Pete. Everyone knows, with the exception of Pete.

"How was it?" Ryan calls from the other side of the room.

Mikey thinks for a moment. He decides to quote the play; "Since the invention of the kiss, there have only been six kisses that were rated the most passionate, the most pure. This one left them all behind."

"This one left the Buttercup-Westley kiss in the dust, huh?"

Pete, of course, decided to open the door right as Mikey starts his sentence, and Mikey doesn't even notice.

Mikey turns. He grabs his kit and darts into the bathroom. Pete sits on the outside, calling his name.

"Mikey!"

"Leave!"

"Mikey, please?"

"I'm not coming out until the five minute warning, when you're on stage!"

"Fine. Be that way."

Mikey continues to change into costume.

They're doing a revamped version of The Princess Bride. Mikey plays Inigo Montoya. At least the wig isn't too itchy.

Before long, Lynn calls everyone out into what she's dubbed the stage room. Mikey reluctantly follows Brendon out.

The lights are completely out. It's silent.

Something taps Mikey's shoulder, and he turns. It's Pete.

"Hi, good luck, I like you a lot and hope this doesn't affect our friendship," Pete says, drawing close to Mikey and kissing his cheek.

"I fucking swear to god, you little fucker," Mikey murmurs under his breath as Pete weaves through the cast to get to the front. "Who does he think he is? My emotions are not a ragdoll you can just throw around, damnit."

Lights on. Frank's in bed. Lynn says her lines, then leaves just as Pete walks onstage. He's the grandpa.

"I brought you a special present!" Pete hands Frank a wrapped box.

"What is it?"

"Open it up!"

Frank opens the box with a big smile, which turns into a disappointed glare. "A book?"

The rest of the show is a blur.

After the finale, Mikey goes backstage, grabs Pete by the collar, and doesn't let go.

"You. Basement. Now."

Pete reluctantly tiptoes into the basement, and Mikey makes sure the hatch is closed. He turns on the lamp. It dimly lights the room with an eerie green glow.

"Okay, so I've kinda gotta wrap my head around this. You like me?"

Pete nods, looking skittish. "Yeah. A lot, actually."

"Well I like you too, damnit."

"You do?" Pete meets Mikey's eyes. Mikey can almost see the hope in Pete's eyes.

"Yeah. A lot, actually."

"So... You wouldn't mind kissing."

"Not at all."

"Good."

And the feeling is back, and Mikey feels like he's smoking a joint, only he's not, but he wishes he were. That would make this situation even better.

Pete's running his fingers along Mikey's jaw, which is really fucking hot, and before Mikey can think twice they're full-on making out.

"Hey, officer," Pete says, looking up at Mikey, "I think the snake bit my dick; can you suck the poison out of that, too?"

Mikey isn't the least bit ashamed to say he most certainly did drop to his knees that night.

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i'm transferring all the oneshots i wrote as stories into this oneshot book, so expect a spam of updates.