Oh shit. The last time I updated this was in MARCH. Oof. Well now it's November and I come hither with an update for all 3 of my readers xox

This is such a wee filler chapter but I have angsts next chapter xx

"I know, I know, the face cloth is terrible but so is having a messy face!"Frank is laughing, a hand holding Pete by the chin to stop them from squirming, his other hand holding a wet face cloth as he tries to rubs off the remainder of Petes ice cream off of their face. Frank had made the nasty decision of allowing Pete to handle the bowl of ice cream on their own, something that Frank had regretted moments later when he had turned his back for a second and it was lathered upon Petes face.

It's been a couple of weeks since Frank walked in on Pete and Gerard colouring in on Gerard's bedroom floor, and two weeks since it's been that Frank, and Pete themselves, have realised of the little tendencies that Pete holds within them. It was a shock, on Franks behalf more than Petes own, but one that he had overcome rather quickly, not only as a friend but also as a caregiver.

Pete however, is a little more hesitant when it comes to fully opening themselves up to Frank, a lot more willing and a lot more confident when left alone with the likes of Gerald who seems to understand Pete patiently. It's not that Pete doesn't trust Frank - and sometimes, that is true because Frank is a very large arsehole who mostly thinks for himself - but it's more the fact that Gerald is a lot more open and confident than Frank is and it's relaxing to be around someone who is so confident with themselves and not in a cocky sort of way.

Looking at you, Ryan Ross.

Which is another, obviously crippling scary thing about opening up a completely new side of themselves because Pete has barely got the grasps of it themselves, and it's so easy to slip, to fall into such a space that it has Pete on edge, which is another terrible matter to begin with. Pete has never been the one to keep a secret from their best friends, mostly because they find out such secret themselves or it involves them in some shape or form, but this is so much more different.

Because this isn't just a secret, it's a totally new lifestyle. It's almost like a second life, and Pete is crippled into thinking that they might have to keep up a persona of some sort of Hannah Montana double life because Pete can hardly handle the life they have now, never mind a new, totally strange, totally different, totally controversial life as this. As ageplaying. And it's something that Ryan and Dalton defiantly can't find out about.

"Frankie,"Pete whines, high in the back of their throat, trying to wiggle and squirm out of Franks hold, away from the disgustingly wet face cloth that is rubbed over their face. Their lips pout when all Frank does is continue to laugh, cooing his condolences every so often, murmuring just a minute until he's finally done.

"All done! All done! That wasn't so bad, was it?"He asks, dumping the face cloth into the nearby sink. He had sent Gerard upstairs to go and grab a film and a couple of blankets, a routine that he and Gerard established not that long into their little dynamic and one that he thinks Pete will lean for, especially because it results in a nap.

"Was."

"Oh it wasn't, stop being huffy."He rolls his eyes, keeping a steady hand on Petes leg as he reaches into a nearby cupboard for some bowls and cups, easily completely tasks with only one hand."Nobody wants to cuddle with a dirty monkey, do they?"

"Am not!"Pete protests loudly, giving a little jump on the kitchen counter to show their protest of being called such a mean name.

"Not anymore you aren't. You should be thanking me."Frank is grinning with all too many teeth and power of a caregiver over a little, but it's all in good sense, Pete knows it. Pete begins to pout, shuffling in discomfort from their place on the kitchen counter, Franks hand firmly on their leg to stop them from falling off as they reach for things around the small kitchen, getting ready for their pre-nap movie and cuddles.

Since finding the two of them in Gee's bedroom that one afternoon, weeks ago, Frank has made it his mission to be a very thoughtful and protective guardian to the newly accustom to little, trying to find their feet in the world of cg/l and all that comes with it. Frank knows the feeling because it's only months before that he was on the same path, just going down the opposite direction, but it's so much more scarier on Petes side of things.

And so, of course, with protection comes smothering and coddling, to the point that Pete is never really left alone whenever in the company of Frank and Gee while little, something in which Pete has grown extremely accustom to. It had been annoying at first when Frank had cooed and swooned around him, talking to him as if were a baby and it had taken Pete days to figure out that to Frank, they were a baby, or something incredibly close to that when fallen deep into a little headspace.

They were much littler than Gee, who could dart in and out of rooms as he pleased, use safety scissors to cut out snowflakes and make heart shaped cards to give to his Daddy, who didn't need to go for a nap, who spoke proper sentences and didn't jumble over his words, who proudly stalked around as if being in an older little headspace was something unbelievably wonderful and fantastic unlike Pete. Pete, who wasn't allowed to be left alone and wasn't very verbal when deeply nestled into their headspace, and who preferred to watch films than to draw and actually really did like nap time.

Certainly, Pete doesn't actually like being a littler little, do they?

"Hurry up, I've already got the movie set up!"Gee is bouncing into the kitchen, a blur of bright colours from head to two and startling Pete badly from their place on the counter, so deep into their own thoughts that they forgot they were up there in the first place. Franks hand tightens on their knee, a weight of reassurance.

"Calm down, we've got plenty of time."

"But Daddy, Mikey-"Gee is stressing the name, eyes widening for his Daddy to get the point of his quickly cut off sentence.

"Won't be home until 5."Frank is finishing, directly talking to Pete whose eyes have widened in fear, near enough scrambling to get off of the counter if it wasn't for the fact that Franks hand felt a lot heavier than it actually was on their leg."We have plenty of time for a movie. Then I'll
drive Pete home, does that sound good?"

"Yes."Petes voice is nothing but a murmur, looking away from the staring eyes of Frank and Gee to the grass garden of the Way households back-garden, suddenly not all that interested in watching a film anymore and just wanting to get up and leave and go home just in case Mikey decides to come home early, not wanting to risk bumping into him.

Which sounds terrible, because it is terrible. But it's not all on Petes side of things either, because goddamnit, they're trying to grasp onto the fragment remains of their relationship, frantically gripping at sand and watching it slip through their fingers continuously with every conversation and glance in the hallway, or murmur of acknowledgement in Study Hall or days they actually spend time together.

Which those days seem to be drifting further and further apart, and Pete has stopped looking at their phone to see if Mikey has replied to their message, or sent a goodnight text or a good morning one too. And despite it all, it ruins Pete, it has their heart ache when Mikey no longer looks at them the way he had that night at the party, or their first date, or the glint in his eyes as he turned his head on a sweat soaked pillow to take in Pete in the dark of his bedroom.

And the thing is, they're still in a relationship because neither of them really has the guts to end it, and Pete isn't sure if they want it to end either.

Pete ends up staying to watch the film that Gee has picked, slid into the DVD player and with remote in hand to fast forward through all of the annoying advertisements until landing on the iconic Walt Disney opening credit. Pete is half watching, with a blanket pulled up to their chin and pressed to one side of the sofa, finding more enjoyment of watching Gee look at Frank in excitement rather than the film itself, a sort of twisted jealousy nestled in the deep pit of their stomach.

"You've got to do something about you and Mikey."Frank finally clears the silence as he's driving Pete home, his car freezing because the heater of it is busted and a Metallica cassette stuck in the player.

"Do what, exactly? Because everyone keeps telling me I have to do something but nobody really has the answers."

"Break up with him, that's a good start."

"Oh yeah, I'm going to do that."

"And why wouldn't you?"Frank lets out a sound of annoyance, glancing at Pete once before paying attention to the road before him. "From what I've heard, neither of you are good for one another and let's not forget to mention that what you want is something that Mikey detests."

"You don't know that I want this."Pete flares, eyes ripping away from the passing houses that they've been staring at and to Frank.

"You do. You want this."He nods in confirmation, one that Pete knows is not fully of bossiness or controlling nature but in a sort of way that only a caregiver could confirm, something that Pete picks up on, and for some reason, it just makes them angrier.

"Don't tell me what I do and don't want."Pete finally snaps, suddenly defensive, suddenly very angry in a way that they can't even understand themselves. And it's an anger that's deep, erupted from the pit of their stomach, a part of their hindbrain that Pete always senses but has never really acted upon."I don't need anyone to tell me what I'm supposed to do, whether that's how I'm feeling, what I want or if I'm going to break up with Mikey or not."

"But you should."

"I fucking know I should, Frank! I know!"Petes hands are thrown up in the air before landing in their hair, tugging harshly at the roots, frustrated, annoyed, teary-eyed as they try and blink away the wetness in their eyes and calm the movement of their lips and the strength of their fingers in their hair."I fucking know- and it's not even like he hits me but, but it's the way he talks to me, and the way he looks at me, and the way I feel when I'm around him. He makes me feel like I'm such a terrible fucking person, and- I know."

And they do, they know. It's not a matter of what Pete does, it what Pete doesn't do which is the source of all of their problems, because Petes ambitions may be broad, but they aren't their own, and when Pete gets something into their head, there's nothing to change that either. And it's the root of their problems, of why they can't give up responsibility but not be able to take it either, and why Pete puts the needs of others before their own, or worse, over someone else's. Or fails to see all the flashing red signs of someone because Pete gets it in their head that maybe this person is the best that will ever come along and they can't risk letting them go.

And that's what makes Pete a terrible person because they truly are a terrible person to themselves. And it's so unfair, if only Pete saw how much it was. But they don't, and that's the problem.

This was a terrible chapter, however, I'm going to have a better one on its way SUPER DUPER SOON MY LOVELIES

PLEASE TELL ME WHAT YOU THOUGHT AND COMMENTS MEANS A BETTER AND QUICKER UPDATE X

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Peace✌🏼