Well, Father in heaven...here I am. Your sinful, guiltless daughter, who feels anger and disgust when hearing the words 'Bible' or 'Jesus', is in Your very own home. I could talk and ask for forgiveness, but it wouldn't be genuine, because I don't feel shame for doing what I do, and I know both You and I hate dishonesty and shows. I could ask for forgiveness for not feeling a tint of shame, but that wouldn't be truthful either. My presence here is fruitless, but for the sake of saying something, God, I pray you give me the sense of guilt and guide me towards honest shame, I pray You give me the opportunity to get down on my knees and ask for forgiveness because I know I have sinned, I pray You teach me how to understand and receive love, which I despise and consider the root of all evil. And I may be saying all this, but You know that I'm not feeling them in my heart, so I have nothing else to say, Father, but amen...