A/N: Trigger warning for suicidal thoughts

Every car that rolls by? It's another chance to die.

I see one coming. Is the speed enough?

Enough to end my life?

Would I really take that step, into the middle of the road?

What would it feel like? Metal crushing into my bones.

Here comes the truck, the one I see every day.

Do I really want to end my life here?

I never wanted to die this way.

It's raining lightly.

I've always loved the rain. I would like to die in it.

The water washing the blood away. Tears mixed with droplets in my cheeks.

But it isn't raining enough. It's only a mist.

I wouldn't want to die in only this much rain.

What about the driver?

Could I make them a killer?

And could I do that to my friends?

Give them that pain?

Do I care?

Or am I numb to their emotions in this moment.

And if I failed?

What would happen then?

They'd see me lying there, in the hospital, and it would hit them.

What I had almost done.

And if I succeed?

I can't do it now. I haven't said goodbye. I can't leave without saying goodbye.

But the temptation still comes.

To step out, in front of the car.

But I can't.

I can't.