Book by Olivia_Benedetti

Feedback may have been fixed in the rewrite, as the author requested I review the original.

Cover 10/10
I love the simplicity of the cover, and after reading the first chapter or so I can tell it's Olivia (main character), and it introduces her in deep thought. I also think it's fairly eye-catching.

Title 5/10
I feel like it's not really emphasized in the book that yes, she has twelve brothers, and yes, it's a great deal of work to handle them. This is most likely because it's only 4 chapters and the original version, but I still feel like it's important to address this.

Characters 9/10
I can tell that you've thought them through, but at times I feel like I'm not getting the unique voices of the characters. The original version I think is also not far enough into the plot to have development.

Plot/storyline 8/10
The plot didn't really get far enough in the 4 chapters of this version to have any true development, so I'm granting you a pass on that. I think as the story progresses in the rewrite, it has some good potential to truly develop. I feel like at times the plot and events in this book kind of jumped around, so I would recommend possibly adding transitions or something like that to make it flow smoothly.

Enjoyment 9/10
Due to the slight jumping around, I wasn't able to fully enjoy it. I don't fault the author, and I did mostly enjoy the book. One thing I did notice that kept bugging me was that it was a third person story, but the word we was used not in dialogue or thought in one of the chapters. This is probably just my eyes hanging onto something, but you might want to go in and fix it/make sure it's not in the rewrite.

Description 8/10
This is overall pretty good, but I'm sad that none of the things mentioned have happened yet in the plot of the original. I feel like they aren't really even hinted at, and even though it's not far into the plot, things like that should be at least hinted at if they're mentioned in the description. I also would suggest a minor look through to look at the punctuation in the description.

Overall 49/60
All in all I think this book has some great potential in progressing further into the plot, the only thing I truly suggest is emphasizing the twelve brothers. I'd definitely recommend it, though probably the rewrite as the plot will progress more there!