There was a time whenever I closed my eyes, the devil hidden inside the blanket would crawl up and eat me alive. Of course, everything was just purely my imagination, nothing more; nothing less. My mother always said that the "me" I would become, should be a man who could look down on species on Earth with his big, proud eyes; like some kind of dominant creatures written in myths from so far centuries, by the very first philosophers and historians of humanity. Only that would repay her sacrifice for my future but to open the heart and look into it, I never dreamt of that place at all. In my tiniest and most untouchable hallucinations, this soul belonged to only two things on this planet: myself and the person who I would fall in love with if we met each other in the near future. To be honest, it sounded so dream-like, knowing that a piece of my existence would always be living inside people who came across my life, whether its influences were good or bad. Many experiments conducted jumped to the conclusion that dreadful memories had more effects on human's brains, while the joyful ones could not serve that idea. However, taking on my own experience dealing with different kinds of terrible treatment from a naive kid till a grown-up man, I hoped that the person I left a segment of this destructive but beautiful embodiment on, would continue living his happy-ever-after life. Under the eyes of God, my soul would be the epitome of his long-lost guardian angel, sealed the devil under his bed and guided him whenever he met troubles. Please, if this part of incarnation really belongs to me with all contents of it, please, let me be the one and only. Let me be a part of the person my heart bestowed to him.

The French said: "C'est la vie!". Whenever that phrase occurred, there must be something needed to discuss. Living in this country solely taught me that idea, together with many surprising events I could never expect if I were still the kid sitting behind Mom's back, crying like a baby whose toy got broken. Growing up despised me, gut-wrenchingly speaking. Maybe that was why French people always said: "C'est la vie"; because life was a mixture of so many emotional-ingridients that even though you never thought of them at first, those lingering feelings still came as they should have. But in my mind, a question has been posed since the birth of my initial vision: was my life made of these seemingly-to-be-unnecessary premonitions, or by myself and actions did it exist ? To conclude, I think the two ideas above have a kind of relationship, like how people fall in love with each other in our modern era: cohabitation- as society attaches. Despite unhappy situations that could happen, life is still going on, and for this reason, I always remind myself that I should never give out too much adoration and sympathy for anyone on this Earth. Only by distancing yourself from the origin of pain and suffering, could one accomplish their wish of a true-ending life.

Mais j'y vous ai vue, dans un réstaurant à la carte. T'as voulu seulement un pain au chocolat avec du thé, à voix trop basse. This man did not belong to this city, in my mind came across that idea. The existence of a man sitting table-next to myself, who had no fear of coming to a restaurant just to drink tea and eat bread, lended so much amusement. Thought I could see his wings like those guardian angels in my Mom's wishes for me, and I laughed silently at myself for that scheme. He was the muse, as poets said; by looking at his shimmering eyes, one could write tons of love letters with their feeling torn and put inside, just for him who never batted an eye on them. How interesting! The first time I tried to approach somebody in my life, with all of the energy stored in my flesh since birth, was the only time in this year, life became so coherent to me. I just suddenly understand why humans on Earth keep maintaining their relationships with each other- to not die of touch-starvation. No love but comfort, everybody, including myself, needs this more than a lover hanging around all day talking about things like griefs and deaths. That bizarre man came into my life perfectly as God-designated; we fell in love and by that the destination of my soul has come to an end. I have found the one, who carries a part of this embodiment forever with him, till we meet again if life really has things like reincarnation.