Amarys, I don't hate you. You know that as well as I do. I've had a lot of my mind and you might as well call me a hypocrite. I always say that my mom doesn't understand or get me but I don't think I give her the chance anymore. At least be grateful that I love you with no doubt. I hated myself because of the fact that I practically thought nobody loved me. I wanted someone who believed in me. Someone who cared about me. Someone who loved me. And that's exactly what you did. What Jamisen did. What Destiny did. I've grown up my whole damn life getting the short end of the stick and I keep thinking that everything will be over once I turn 18. I don't even know what the real world is like yet I'm stuck in a fantasy that isn't even real itself. I constantly ask for attention. I practically have the most ridiculous thoughts of killing my stepdad because of how selfish, incompetent and rude he acts. I constantly wish that my mom had never met my stepdad and I constantly wish that I was an only child right now so my mom wouldn't have the constant stress on her shoulders. I care about you Amarys. I really do. So don't even think for a second that I hate you. And don't even think that I don't care about what happens to you. I'm glad I met you. I'm glad I changed you. I change a lot of people and Hell, I don't know how. At least I keep trying to do my best to actually own up to the fact that I've hurt you so many times that it breaks my heart. I keep blaming myself for the most stupidest things and I actually have no reason to lie to myself. I keep saying that everything is just fucking peachy and I actually cry about it. I keep saying that I'll make amends, that I'll meet you. And for the personal record, I don't like Royalty. I don't even know him. Hell, I don't know anything about him! So don't just make the stupidest assumption that I like him alright? I've practically had my whole skin scratched off due to my family getting on my damn nerves and I don't tell them because of how I think they'll react. My in-real-life siblings are a pain in the neck and they practically make my living life a nightmare just like my stepdad but hey! I constantly have nothing to do but just hold it all in and vent out on a keyboard. I mentally bitch about how my mom doesn't get me and I don't think I give her the chance anymore. At least I'm so damn grateful that I have a family that actually 'cares' about me; but no... I just shove them to the side because I fucking can't get over myself! So why can't your mom just trust me? Why can't my mom trust you and Destiny instead of trusting the in-real-life people I meet? It's bad enough our lives are a wreck. I don't get any of it. I don't get myself. I don't get what my whole life is about.