I was hoping I wouldn't have to come back,but here we are.

I was doing good....but every suicidal thought haunts me. I even tried to jump out of a plane in my dream because I couldn't take it.

Last night I had a horrible nightmare. Its all so wild...

I remember someone dying....I was running away but ended up at some club. I got a pet cat and we (me and my family) were starting to walk back home but...something grabbed her leash and tried to take her but she held on. Hell it even pulled her by her hind legs but she didn't give up. I couldn't save her...

On the radio it was saying message "Downtown" to some number I don't remember if paranormal activities have happened to you or a loved one. I started to do it,has the thing trying to take my cat was literally invisible but I felt something caress my cheek from behind...I woke up trembling.

It was still dark outside and so almost pitched black in my room.

I went...insane...I couldn't move from the bed from absolute fear and even hallucinated...

It all ended when I finally just turned on my lamp.

After like...ten,twenty minutes I turned it off but had to turn it back on.

A phrase kept repeating in may head..

"If you escape the house of madness,i will hunt you down,catch you,and bring you back to insanity."

*sigh* Anyways...why I'm ranting.

Later on that day we were watching a show and one of the characters went insane. Dad was drunk and said "I'm surprised she's still alive. I mean,how could you live being insane" or something similar.

A million thoughts ran through my head,mostly flashbacks or old suicidal thoughts..

I wanted to respond"You'd be surprised"

But the first thing I thought about is putting a gun to my head and pulling the trigger.

Just...wanted to get this off my chest.

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The_Wannabe_Director