December 3, Tuesday. 6:05 a.m.

I don't know what happened. I must've fallen asleep. I've woken up in a cold, sunlit room. There is no noise in my head. I feel calm. I feel normal. I feel like I did when Daddy left so many months ago.

Rolling onto my side, I prop myself on my right elbow and wrap the blanket around my shoulders. "Brr. Where am I?"

Nothing looks familiar. I'm on a very high bed, and the floor is covered in threadbare carpet. The mattress must be at least one and a half feet thick. And the bedposts, they're really high. The walls are bare, aside from one round mirror near the door, and to my right is a heavy-looking nightstand. The windows are on my left, up near the ceiling. Is that grass outside?

My attention is drawn from the windows as a soft knock repeats itself on the closed door. "C-come in," I call softly, shaking my bedraggled head.

The door opens a crack and Adam's face peeks in. "Hi," he says in a low voice.

"Come here," I say, and pat the place beside me.

"Well, I don't wanna bother you," he murmurs groggily, pulling his face out and looking quickly behind him.

I sigh and scratch my head. "You're not bothering me,"

"Okay, then." Quickly slipping inside, carrying his guitar, he comes to sit at my left. "How'd you sleep?"

"I dunno. I don't think I even remember. My body kinda feels numb. Where am I? This isn't my room."

"No, it's Tris's house. You were barely conscious when we got here, and Tris treated your minor injuries. Your house was burning down and you were bound up in ropes with tape over your mouth. I think it was the Vandals that did it."

"Funny, I don't remember that," I murmur, noticing white bandages on my arms for the first time.

"Um, well, you weren't all there, so...yeah."

Still disoriented, slightly dizzy, I rub my forehead and rest my head against his left thigh. He gently pats my head. "I'm so glad you're okay. I couldn't sleep, so I spent the night making music. Just a bit ago I decided to get up and see if you were awake, since Tris had to sedate you in order to dress your wounds. You were out cold, and it kinda worried us. We took turns checking in, and when you showed signs of awareness, Tris said you were out of the danger zone."

He's rambling. I don't know what to think. The two of us are startled by Dylan poking in unannounced. "Oh, good, she's awake. Is she alright?"

"Yeah, she's fine." Adam turns to study me as I pull myself into a sitting position. "You are okay, aren't you?"

"Yes... I'm okay. Just tired, that's all."

"Oh, good." He smiles, pulling me close. Dylan looks guilty and slightly uncomfortable before entering the room and taking a seat to my right, wrapping his arms around both of us with all the protectiveness of a big brother. I can feel his emotion; he's shaking. So glad that we're both still alive.

"Dyl, what—" Adam squirms, but his brother continues to hold us.

"You two have got to stop scaring the hell out of me," he mutters in frustration, finally releasing us as Tris enter the room, greeting us with a smile.

   "How are you feeling this morning, Amber?"

"I'm fine, thank you." I blink, somewhat puzzled by the name she's addressing me by. Though unable to mask the concern in her eyes, she nods approvingly.

"That's very good to hear. Do your arms hurt?" Setting down a tray of medical dressings, she gestures to the white bandages on my forearms. I stare at them and shrug.

   "They kinda just feel numb."

   She looks puzzled by this, stepping forward to examine them. The boys move out of her way, watching with interest as she unwraps the bandages to reveal my pale skin, scars and bruises mingling with minor burns. Dylan winces, Adam just tips his head curiously while biting at his lip piercings. Turning to her tray, Tris picks up a rag to cleanse my arms with. She uses two rags, one for each arm, to avoid contamination. As she cleans, she asks me what it feels like. I shrug. "It just feels like any regular cleaning with some slight stinging on the fresher cuts and those tiny burns."

   "Okay. I'm going to put some antibiotics on and rewrap them. Does your right eye hurt, honey?"

"Kinda. Is it black?"

"A bit. You just rest today. The boys will take turns checking on you, and I'll change your wraps again in a few hours." Gathering her things, she leaves. The boys study me. Dylan seems wary to even be in my presence, and Adam seems like he'd march into the sun to make sure I'm safe and happy.

"Want us to leave?" Dylan asks. Adam shoots him a sidelong glare, receiving a shove in the shoulder from Dyl.

"Yeah, I think I want to sleep."

"Okay. We'll go. C'mon, Adam." Dylan gets up, heading toward the door. Adam remains where he is, defiantly watching his brother leave.

"Adam. Let's go."

"I'm gonna stay with her 'til she falls asleep."

"Fine." He slips out, shutting the door with a soft click. Adam turns to me and smiles.

"He's just pouting because my mom has arranged for you to come stay with us after Tris gives the all clear, and he thinks that's a bad idea."

"Doesn't sound so bad to me," I mumble with a lazy smirk, snuggling down into the covers and feeling the soft pillow slightly envelop my head. "There's not going to be an investigation, is there?" I mumble. He stops breathing for a minute.

"An investigation?"

"You know, since the Vandals burned my house down."

"Oh. Yeah, no, most likely not. Your neighborhood's too old."

This is a relieving fact. Adam glances toward the door in a brief moment of hesitancy before reaching for his guitar.

   "I couldn't sleep last night," he says softly.

"You never sleep," I point out. He shrugs.

"Well, I was really worried about you. So I... I wrote you a song." Finding a comfortable position on the bed with his guitar, he tunes up and strums a few soft power chords before singing. The vocals are soft and light, and the guitar is relaxing, methodic and melancholy. I bet he's composed some violin to go with it, and piano. And of course, a slow, plodding beat from Algie's drums would fit the tune perfectly.

Will you ever see, ever see
Past this mask in front of me
It's not my real face
A rubber base
Covered in plastic and some paint
Or molded from papier-mâché
Use it to smother all the pain
But you'd never know better
Cuz I'm smiling

And you can't see past the walls
Even when it rains (my mask is melting)
My eyes are closed I'm suffocating
But you've been blindly led astray, you can't see past
My disguise, facade, the tricks I use
Tricks I'm the master of
They cover up my shame
But you'll never know cuz I'm smiling
Yeah I'm smiling, see me smiling
To you I'll always look the same cuz I'm smiling

And I've gotten so good at faking
Nobody sees me breaking
You caught me dancing one night
In a moonlit street
No one around just the sound of my feet
No radio playing music but I still heard a beat
It came from your chest
Where your heart is, cuz it couldn't have been mine
I gave it to you and after that it died

And you can't see past the walls
Even when it rains (my mask is melting)
My eyes are closed I'm suffocating
But you've been blindly led astray, you can't see past
My disguise, facade, the tricks I use
Tricks I'm the master of
They cover up my shame
But you'll never know cuz I'm smiling
Yeah I'm smiling, see me smiling
To you I'll always look the same cuz I'm smiling

So with a hole in my ribs and a song in my head
I'll dance the night away on my own
Cuz it's the only thing right that I know
You were hiding and I didn't see you
But somehow I still could see through
You were there but I surprised you, thinking
You were so sly
Creeping in for the kill on a dark stormy night

And you can't see past the walls
Even when it rains (my mask is melting)
My eyes are closed I'm suffocating
But you've been blindly led astray, you can't see past
My disguise, facade, the tricks I use
Tricks I'm the master of
They cover up my shame
But you'll never know cuz I'm smiling
Yeah I'm smiling, see me smiling
To you I'll always look the same cuz I'm smiling

My lips part at the corners
You don't know that it's a mask
You've never known all this while
Every day I greet you with a simulated smile
My illusion wins me friends, gets me paid
So I can tie my ends
Together, so can survive a bit longer
But is there really any point when I've already died inside?
My facade does everything I wish I could, and for a lie
It's pretty good
I like to think it acts on its own
But it's not alive, it's not real
Doesn't feel like part of me, I am so alone
Deep sighing I'm never smiling, no
Never smiling...

And you can't see past the walls
Even when it rains (my mask is melting)
My eyes are closed I'm suffocating
But you've been blindly led astray, you can't see past
My disguise, facade, the tricks I use
Tricks I'm the master of
They cover up my shame
But you'll never know cuz I'm smiling
Yeah I'm smiling, see me smiling
To you I'll always look the same cuz I'm smiling

Will you ever see, ever see
Past this mask in front of me
It's not my real face
A rubber base
Covered in plastic and some paint
Or molded from papier-mâché
Use it to smother all the pain
But you'd never know better
Cuz I'm smiling.