—Noa's P.O.V.—

For a long time, I thought there were only two kinds of people. Good people, and bad people.

Seems pretty black and white, right?

And I thought for a long time that I was one of the bad guys.

See, I kinda sorta maybe stole a butt-load of money from Tony Stark when I was 15. I'm 23 now. If I had a good reason, does that make it bad?

I don't think so, but I also don't remember the reason why I did that, so I have to assume it was wrong.

Since then, I've made it up.

Cue the applause!

I joined the Avengers, during the battle of New York, defeated Loki...

...about twenty minutes ago.

And in those twenty minutes, I've learned that most people have very strange morals that they live by.

Take my 'friend' Loki over there for example, he just attacked New York. Why? Who the hell knows! He had been claiming it was his 'birthright,' because he is, oh, so royal, and majestic, and—dare I say—fatheaded.

Yup, you heard me! I meant it! He is fatheaded, and deserves his lifelong sentence.

Wait... won't he live for five thousand years? That's an awfully long time to be in jail. Maybe just a thousand year sentence—

No! Don't think like that Noa. He deserves what's coming after coldly killing and wounding hundreds of my fellow New Yorkers in my wonderful city.

Ugh. We're gonna have so much repairing to do with all the damage he caused—

"On my way down to coordinate search and rescue." Cap said, interrupting my train of thought.

I was about to follow him until I saw a green light pass over Loki, transforming him into a convincing copy of Cap.

"On my way down to coordinate search and rescue." He said, in a much deeper, mocking voice. Loki turns back into himself, chains and all. "I mean, honestly, how do you keep your food down?"

I nearly laughed, then reminded my self of a rule I had.

No matter how funny the joke, if I don't like you, I won't laugh.

That was until Thor slapped a muzzle over Loki's mouth. That's when I cracked up.

"Shut. Up." Thor growled in his face.

I reached out to grab him, intending to pull him towards the elevator, but Thor waved me off, saying Loki was his responsibility, blah blah blah, I kinda had stopped listening...

I shrugged, practically sprinting toward the elevator, hoping to not be shoved out because of the lack of leftover space (which was something happened often).

Luckily, I had nothing to worry about. Loki and Thor were the last to fit in, and it was Mr. Jolly Green who was unfortunately expelled from the elevator.

That's not gonna end well.

"Hey, hey!" Tony waves his hand at The Other Guy. "What do you think? Maximum occupancy has been reached."

"Take the stairs." Thor suggests.

"Uh, I wouldn't say that if I were you." I say cautiously.

Loki starts waving Hulk away rudely.

I glare at him, willing him to magically disappear, never to reappear again. "Not helping, Loki."

He rolled his eyes, frustrated at not being able to quip back with the muzzle still on. Other than that, the elevator ride was quiet, awkward, and normal.

Now exiting the elevator, I glanced at Loki once again, making sure he was still in his place, only to be interrupted by a loud crashing noise.

Glass shattered, and I fell back into my stomach by the blow. I heard a roar—probably The Hulk.

I knew it was going to be a bad idea! And even worse, as I got to my feet and brushed off the shards, I saw Loki with the Tesseract in hands, and a mischievous smile on his face.

Oh, hell no. What did I miss? Apparently a lot while I wasn't paying attention. I leaped into action, my I.C.E.R. at the ready, and prepared to shoot.

My eyes widen as I see him open a portal, (probably to escape me,) but with no time to slow down and grab him, I crash straight into him.

"Oh, crap." I whisper, feeling the grey and windy cloud wrap around me, knowing I might be transported somewhere not Earth-ish.

I grab onto Loki's wrist, clinging for dear life as the uncomfortable feeling of falling rises in my gut.

—Loki's P.O.V.—

I felt the mortal woman tighten her grip on my wrist, and I'm not sure why. It's a short drop. Thor and I had this as a battle training exercise as kids.

The sand broke my fall, and I tilted my head to the side, spitting the sand out of my now freed mouth. I turn my head toward the sky, only for the view to be blocked by the Midgardian's face uncomfortably close to mine...

She shrieks and gets up instantly, blushing a deep shade of pink, but coving her cheeks with her hands to hide it.

"Never do that again." She snaps, pointing directly at me.

"Purely incidental, love." I nod at her.

She looks around, scanning the terrain and sky. "We're in Mongolia." She concludes. "The Gobi desert, to be exact."

"Your words make no sense."

The mortal suddenly looks straight at me, something dawning on her.

"Hey!" She yells. "Give me the Tesseract!"

The girl leaps at me, shoving me back into the ground. Caught off guard, I struggle to shove her off, but by now, she has already managed to flip me on my back, one knee onto of me to stop me from even trying to get up, while also holding the side of my face in the sand.

"Well this I awkward." I muster the words, my tongue tasting sand.

"Oh, shut up, will you?" She groans, trying to tug the glowing box out of my hands.

As she wrestles for it, an idea pops into my head. I smirk, then pocket-dimension the Tesseract. She gasps, then gets up and crosses her arms. "You quit cheating! This isn't fair!"

"You behave like a child, darling." I point out.

"A, don't call me 'darling'. And b, I'm twenty three." She flares, then loses the act once she notices the people walking up behind her.

"What do you want me to call you then?" I asks, placing my hands in my hips.

"How about you don't even address me?" She retorts.

"Oh, but I'll have to at some point, dear." Loki points out. "And you know my name, it seems only right I get to know your's."

"The reason I know your name is because you decided to attack my people for some absurd reason." She throws her hands up. "And, fine. My name is Noa."

"Alright then Noa, would you mind keeping quiet for a minute while I handle these folks?" I gestures at the people approaching us.

Noa narrows her eyes, but subsides, muttering something about how I must be a lunatic.

Rude.

—Noa's P.O.V.—

I watched as Loki confidently leaped up on the rock that jutted out of the sand.

"Oh, here we go." I say, smirking, very ready to watch him embarrass himself.

I give him a supportive thumbs up.

"I am Loki, of Asgard, and I am burdened with glorious purpose!" He announces.

"Cool," I say. "So now I'm going to do the part where I call in the Avengers to come and arrest you." Dramatic pause. "Again."

"Hey!" He protests, but stops when the Mongolians start speaking in their native tongue.

"Чи хэн бэ? Чи яагаад манай гэрт ирсэн юм бэ?" One asks.

(Translation: Who are you? Why have you come to out home?)

Oooookaayyyyyy...

"Сайн уу? уучлаарай, би зүгээр л түүнийг баривчлах хэрэгтэй, тэгээд бид явж болно." I say, trying to keep the situation calm.

(Translation: Hello! Sorry, I just need to arrest him, then we can leave.)

Her face scrunch's up in confusion.

Crap, did I say something wrong?

Then, I realize she was looking at something behind me. I turn around just in time to see a woman step through a floating orange door, dressed head to toe in black armor. I also notice that her goons are inspecting the Tesseract.

Whaaaaaaaaaat?

"Is chest plate made of plastic?" I ask, pointing at her. "I don't think that would protect you from anything..." I trail off as I see her twist the stick in her hands with a small, click, and a orange light starts glowing at the end of it.

"What is that?" I ask, genuinely curious.

She ignores me, and proceeds to step towards the blue box. "Don't touch that!" Loki exclaims, charging toward her.

"Appears to be a standard sequence violation." The woman says, scanning the area. "Branch is growing at a stable rate and slope."

"Are you an arborist?" Loki asks.

I snort.

She turns to me, looking me up and down, then looks at Loki and does the same. "Variant identified."

"I beg your pardon?" Loki frowns, tilting his head.

"On behalf of the Time Variance Authority, you are here by under arrest." She commands.

"Time Variance Authority, TVA..." I whisper to myself. "That's catchy, but I've gotta say, no. You can't take him, because he's going to an Asgardian prison." I tell the woman in charge.

Her eyes flick to me, but she says, "Hands up. You're coming with us."

"Uh, how about no?" I say, cuffing Loki, and pulling out my communications device.

She shakes her head sadly, then twists her stick around, jabs it at me, then her goons take a grab at Loki.

Who does she think she is?

"Get out of my way." Loki threatens, his voice dead serious.

"Loki, I don't think you should talk to them that way. I don't think they want their chains to be jerked." I groan, clutching my chest in pain.

"What?" Loki asks.

"Jerk their chains! It's a phrase." I roll my eyes.

Loki ignores me, and stalks toward the woman, who promptly smacks him across the face.

I silently cheer, then get up and actually look at him.

What is happening to his face?

"You are now moving at 1/16 speed." Scary lady—as I had started to call her in my head—told him. "But you're feeling all that pain in real time."

The next thing I know, Loki and the woman are being pulled back through the orange floating horror-story door.

"Reset it!"

"What does that mean? That doesn't sound good. Are you destroying something? Are you killing someone? The Avengers will come after you for this!" I say, breathing heavily after my rant.

Anger overflows me as she continues to ignore me.

Dang it, what is wrong with her?

"WILL SOMEONE TELL ME," I shout. "WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON!?"

But by then, all that remains is the door, and an orange lantern that has started to turn purple.

The land around it suddenly and void of nothing, I start to freak out. Is this how I die? I should warn Fury, right?

When the edge reaches my feet, I say, "No time! Holy pancakes!" I curse, then jump through the creepy door of death behind them.

———

Hey my guys, gals, and enby pals! 

OH HEY LOOK THAT RHYMES!

Guysgalsandenby— ANYWAY...

Hope you enjoyed!

The questions of this chapter is... drum roll please...

1) Do you think NASA invented thunderstorms to cover up the sound of space battles?

2) Wth is Obama's last name? Does anyone know?

3) What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?

I will be adding stupid questions like that at the end of every chapter from now on because I have so many of them. (Btw, yes, they're meant to make me sound stupid.)