Our lives don't  c o l l i d e
I'm aware of  t h i s
We got  d i f f e r e n c e s

• • •

IT was a hell of a kiss. San wouldn't even be able to describe it if he wanted to. Wooyoung kissed him like he wanted to be kissed desperately, like no boy had ever kissed him before. Which couldn't be true because he definitely knew what he was doing, unlike for San. First it was soft and moist and then hot and breathy. They were not trying to win a battle but were seeking for closeness and a timeless moment. Heat rose in his cheeks as Wooyoung's tongue touched his own. It was quick and electric and delicious, then firmer, more determined, more curious about the heat that lay within, seeking for more and more and more. Not even the taste of blood made San think that they maybe should stop whatever was happening right now. He felt so good right then and there, he even was brave enough to lightly sling his arms around the others waist.

San could honestly not tell how long they kissed before both of them were so out of breathe, that they just had to pull away and gasp for air. They opened their eyes at the same time, now looking straight into each others again, while breathing in and out deeply. One moment Wooyoung looked at him the way he did before the kiss. His dark eyes seemed brighter, his appearance more youthful. In the next moment his eyes got smaller and he seemed tense again. He abruptly let go of his face and backed away a little too fast for San not to immediately notice, that something was wrong. »Wooyoung«, San breathed out confused, while the gray haired boy was hectically moving in front of him. He was turning away from San, throwing his hands on the back of his head and grabbing onto his hair like he was regretting everything that just happened. San was so shocked that he didn't even realize this was the first time he had called the other by his name out loud.

»Are you okay?«, he added after a few seconds. Wooyoung answered with a kick against one of the bathroom stalls, which flew open and crashed against the wall. It would be a lie if San said he didn't get scared by that a little, but he jumped down from the sink to walk over to him nonetheless. He still felt dizzy but pushed through the urge of closing his eyes for the boy he had just kissed. »Hey, calm do-«, he tried saying soothing, but Wooyoung stepped back even more as he saw San attempting to grab his hand. They stared at each other again, this time much less affectionate. San looked absolutely crushed and hurt by the sudden outcome of this situation and Wooyoung just looked at him like they were seeing each other for the first time. Like he didn't care at all. At least that was what he made San think with his behavior. Wooyoung didn't explain himself before rushing out of the bathroom like he was running away from something extremely bad. After the door slam back shut San fell against the wall and let himself down to the ground slowly, while a single tear ran down his cheek.

What the fuck was that? Who kissed someone like that, to then just leave the person behind? San didn't know what to think anymore. He didn't know what to do. It already got dark outside, as he had noticed when the boy who felt like a stranger again had opened the door just now. It was cold too. And his head hurt so much. Now that the gray haired boy was gone and he could think straight again, he could feel in how much pain he truly was. After just leaning against the wall with closed eyes for a while San dailed his roommate's number. The shy and angel like boy was the only one he would want to come right now. Yeosang was the only one who would accept that San would not tell what had happened to him today and probably also the only one who wouldn't try finding the dudes who had hurt him. Hongjoong, Jongho and Mingi, damn even innocent Yunho would totally flip out if they had to pick him up from the floor of a public bathroom being beat up.

He only needed to tell his foster brother that he wasn't able to come home alone and where he was and Yeosang immediately headed to get him. »Hyung is coming, okay? I'm on my way«, he said, and that was probably the first time he had heard the boy sounding so serious about something. While waiting for the boy to get him out of this shitty bathroom San kept whispering »Hyung is coming, Hyung is coming«, to calm himself down. Yeosang stormed in the bathroom and kneeled in front of him quickly. San tried smiling at him, because he really didn't want to make a big drama about this whole situation, but his foster brother pulled him into a tight hug anyways. »Are you hurt badly? Should I take you to a hospital?«, Yeosang then asked, while examining him from head to toe, but San just shook his head slightly. »Just take me home, please.« And that's exactly what the one month older boy did.

They were lucky enough that no one saw Yeosang dragging San up the stairs and that they got away with the excuse that San was extremely tired so he wanted to sleep early instead of eating something. Halmoni had other worries anyways, since apparently Wooyoung didn't show up home at all. To prevent his face from swelling Yeosang held ice packs on his lips and eye, while San laid in his bed, trying to get some rest. Yeosang kept asking if he was okay until the middle of the night and the only thing San would answer him was »Don't worry, I'm okay. My head just hurts.«

In reality something else was hurting way more.

San couldn't avoid the others and his grandmother any longer so the next morning he just stepped down the stairs and headed to breakfast with Yeosang anyways. Everyone was super shocked and wanted to know what happened to him immediately. Since he didn't want to talk about Wooyoung and he obviously couldn't tell them about the part in the bathroom, he had to change the truth a little bit. »I took a different route home yesterday and.. saw this guy fighting against four so I tried to help him. Didn't work out for me that well, but It's fine«, he told them, while trying to sound as honest as possible. San hated lying, he really did, but he still was kinda good at it. Good enough for them to believe his little story. »Woahhh our Sani«, Yunho screamed and Jongho immediately started to throw punches in the air. »No bullies survive him! A real hero«, Mingi exaggerated. San felt like his heart shuttered in a hundred pieces as the memories from yesterday hit him once again.

»I'm proud of you for standing up for that kid«, Hongjoong then said, while he handed San another ice pack for his face. The only two saying nothing were Halmoni and Yeosang. His quiet foster brother was just looking at him with deep questions in his eyes, which San wast trying to ignore. It was obvious that he didn't believe his story at all. Halmoni was shaking her head with the telephone still in her hand. She was waiting for any news from Wooyoung. »One of you doesn't come home, the other gets in a fight. What next? Picking one of you up from the police station?«, she hissed. San didn't answer anything, but gave her a apologizing kiss on the forehead before they left for school.

San had never gotten this much attention in school ever. Just because he had a few bruises on his face everyone suddenly wanted to talk to him and wanted to know what happened. Obviously that wasn't any of their business so he just tried answering as short as possible or to have his headphones in if he could. It got so tiring after the second break that he asked Mrs. Lee if he could go to the school nurse, because he wasn't feeling well. His head did really still hurt so he was happy to finally get some quiet and be able to lay down for a while. After he had opened the door to the room with the two examination tables, he wished he would've stayed in the class room.

San really wanted to know what he did in his last life to deserve such bad luck. Jung Wooyoung was sitting on one of the tables, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed and his eyes closed. His face looked much more swollen as his own and he was wearing the same clothes as yesterday, so San guessed that he still wasn't home. He could've turned around and walked out of the room again, but he didn't want to make the boy think that he had any power over him. So he walked over to the other examination table while forcing himself not to look at the gray haired boy again, because he knew that Wooyoung was probably looking at him now. He put down his backpack on the ground before laying down as planned and closed his eyes tightly, while acting like it didn't bother him at all that the other was only a few meters away.

San would've never expected Wooyoung to break the unbearable silence they found themselves in for the next twenty minutes, which made hearing his voice all of the sudden much more shocking. »I'm going to tell your Halmoni I was out with some friends and got in a fight with some assholes, so you better just forget about what happened yesterday, because I will«, he said, sounding uninterested and mean as most of the time. It would be a lie if San said that he wasn't worried about him anymore and not curious at all, where he really had been last night. Of course he still cared, but he was also hurt and didn't knew how to handle a situation like this. He had never kissed anyone, nor got in a fight right after it. In addition to this whole mess, they were also supposed to be foster brothers. So he couldn't tell anyone about this or ask for advice. It was probably best to keep the act of I-don't-Care-Anymore up. Maybe if he would lie to himself, he would start to believe it too.

»You kissed me, not the other way around«, he said after some seconds, trying really hard to copy the uninterested vibe from Wooyoung. He almost scared himself with how cold he sounded. San probably remembered this sentence from a movie as well or maybe from a book, but at least he thought of something mean to say. Obviously he was kind of the one who provoked Wooyoung to kiss him, but that wasn't the point. The point was to just forget about yesterday, act like he didn't care and let Wooyoung be whoever he was. If that meant being someone San totally didn't want to be, he had to go with that for a while.

After the last class for the day ended San stood up quickly and walked to the car where his brothers were waiting for him, since he told them he would drive home with them again from now on. He didn't ask them to wait for Wooyoung and the others just assumed that he would walk home like always, so they drove off without him. San just closed his eyes, leaned against the window and tried listening to Mingi and Yunho, who were telling a funny story about some kid in class today. But even that could not distract him.

It was the right thing to do. It was the right thing to do. It was the right thing to do.

But why did it feel so wrong?