Okay, so this chapter title doesn't make sense, but so doesn't half of society!

On that subject, can we all just take a moment of silence for the poor unfortunate souls who've lost their will to hold common sense?

Ah yes, I'm calling people out in this update... Go ahead... I'm waiting to be reported...

Oh, that's right... Those NEVER work!

I promise I won't harm anyone reading this update, but there's a certain trend I've been noticing since.. Well.. forever, and right here and now I've decided to bring up the subject.

Advice.

Yeah, you read it right. The word advice. It's the same word that makes up the theme of this book. You're probably pondering on this turn of events and maybe even a bit confused, but hey, at this point you all should know how I unfold what's eating at my brain, so just bear with me, because it's... Story Time!

(Disclaimer: for the duration of Story Time, fake names will be used to keep things confidential.)

Starting at a young age, I loved to help people with problems. I was a problem solver. People would complain, and I'd do my best to let out a helping hand. And not to brag but, my advice pretty much worked or at least was decent ..... Well, when it was ACTUALLY used!

Okay, okay, I admit when people didn't take my advice, it did upset me, but it's not for the reason you're thinking. When people confide in you and ask for your help or an ear to vent to, usually the other person cares. They take the time to deal with your problems and really relate to you. Though some people don't want advice and just want someone to listen (which isn't a bad thing) no one is entitled to take your advice. But then please, don't come crying back to vent some more when you did nothing to solve the problem. I can only take so much of it! 

In Story Time you will see what I mean:

The first time I noticed this occurrence was on the playground, of course! That's where all the childish life lessons take place.

My best friend at the time, (who we'll call Sam) was in a predicament. She was upset at someone and felt like starting a fight. A fist fight!

So after talking it out with her all throughout recess, I calmed her down and the bell rang for recess to be over. I was proud of myself for stopping my friend from doing a horrible thing. I was so proud, that I guess I didn't realize, "hey she might still want to do this tomorrow." I mean when you're a kid you get over things easily, but Sam seriously just wanted to cause some trouble.

Needless to say, Sam did start a fight the next day at recess. It was light pushes and silly name-calling that lasted about 2-5 seconds before the teachers came, but it was still a fight. And that upset me.

I was hurt for may reasons. 1. because I wasted my WHOLE recess trying to stop this event from happening (and recess is very important!) 2. she was my friend and I didn't want her to get in trouble (I even told her this so she knew I genuinely cared about her) 3. I felt she didn't trust me or cared that I helped her. 

Even though my tiny brain had many valid reasons to be hurt, I let this slide. But situation after situation this kept happening as the years went on with other people, issues, and complications.  The problems might've been silly and irrelevant, but it made me feel good to be a helping hand, yet 9 times out of 10 it ended the same way; the rejection of my help and doing the bad thing or continuing a bad thing anyway.  What was the point of them asking for help? Better yet, what was the point in helping them at all!? 

During middle school, this side of me mostly went into retirement, due to the fact that I was sick and tired of caring, and at the time I was going through my own challenges.  But this really came back during my high school years and beyond. People would ask how I could work so hard, or keep good grades, and I'd tell them what I do. They're so fascinated by it, but never try it for themselves. Whatever, not a big deal. Mostly though, the challenges revolved around relationship advice. This is where it gets fun!

Before anything, I'm going to confess that my relationship tally is short, and I'm not as experienced as many other people, but for some strange reason I'm good at being logical when it comes to relationship advice, and trust me I've heard it all:

"I want his attention."

"I'm already dating someone, but I like someone else."

"He has a girlfriend."

"But our friendship might be ruined."

"She's too good for me."

"He's a playboy, but I like it."

"I'm lonely and need someone."

"We have this connection, but she's cheated on me twice."

"He attracts me in ways I never knew possible."

"I like two people at the same time!"

And even when I spend my time and energy to help someone out, they reject it. It's a rejection shown with actions, and those actions prove it all. Then they come back to me, crying or ready to complain again. It's very draining.

Their actions say, "Hey, thanks for the advice and for wasting your time, but I did the opposite of what you told me. Hope you don't mind. XOXO!"

Personally, it's a slap in the face.

Ater explaining all of that, I have a few instances where I was giving advice and they took a turn for the worst. Three particular incidences have made me interesting in writing this article in the first place. And I promise, there's a meaning behind them all. (These are all based on true stories, so enjoy my boring life.)

Issue #1: When You're The Do-Gooder

Me: You know he likes you right?

Girl: Yeah, I know.

Me: You like him?

Girl: I think so.

Me: *Looks at guy* I don't know if my opinion matters much, but just be careful with him, I've known him for a long time and he has an... interesting history. He sees a lot of girls and then dumps them. I don't want that to be you. I'm just trying to look out for you.

Girl: Of course your opinion matters. You mean a lot to me. Thanks for the advice. You're great at helping a girl out. I'll be careful.

*Next day*

Me: I saw you guys holding hands.

Girl: Yeah, it's official now.

Can someone explain to me what the problem is, besides the fact that this girl is obviously desperate for a BF?

I don't know if it's the idea of going against someone and the "right thing." or if they clearly don't care, but I just don't understand what she'd say "thanks for helping" when she didn't even use the advice? Again, I'm not saying that people are necessarily entitled to take my help and I know I'm not right about everything, but it just doesn't seem like common sense to start something so fast without getting to know the situation first.

Not to self: If a girl says be careful with a guy, you should be wondering "Wow, should I pursue something like this?" Or hey, maybe she thought I was jealous, which wasn't the case at all!

But the main problem was the dude had this mysterious trait, and lots of people want someone broken so they can fix them. They like the thrill.

Issue #2: The Matchmaker Man

Guy: Tomorrow I'm gonna ask my crush to the dance.

Me: Oh really? Is that the girl you've been talking about?

Guy: Yeah it is

Me: Sorry to intrude, but who is it?

Guy: It's obvious. Everyone knows.

Me: I don't really pay attention to people's love life.

Guy: Well, it's T.

Me: Wow really.... *as I think about all the things T said she's done with other boys. Then think about how broken and lonely this particular boy is.*

Guy: Yeah, we've been talking lately. It's getting serious.

Me: See, I'm happy for you and all, but you might want to be careful. If you ever need to talk to someone or get a girl's input, let me know.

Guy: No, I don't need it from you, you can't even get a guy.

Me: Well then, have fun with that.

*That same day as we're walking to our next period together.*

Guy: Everyone knows you and R have feelings for each other, so why are you being complicated and not going out with him?

Me: Because dating in high school is pointless.

Guy: But you can't just sit and not do anything with your life. It's like never going on a cruise because you hate spending money. Live a little. Give it a shot.

Me: Are you referring to my feelings and affection as "money?"

Guy: Uhh... no. But you need to put yourself out there.

Me: He and I have already discussed this, but thanks for trying to help.

Guy: Stop being so confusing and complicated, go out with him and take some risks. You'll never know if you don't try.

Me: I don't remember asking you for advice.

Guy: You didn't.

Me: Exactly.

Guy: Hey, do what you want, I support you either way.

Me: Oh, I'm sure you do.

Okay so let's get real here. What's wrong with this? Why is it wrong? Why is this relevant to what I'm talking about? (hint: It IS relevant, trust me.)

Not only did he reject my advice (which is okay because he isn't forced to follow it) but then he added himself into the equation of my life, and basically told me that I didn't know how to have fun. Dating doesn't equal fun. And you don't need a significant other in your life to be happy.

The problem here wasn't that he rejected my advice when I wanted to help, the real problem was that he added himself into my feelings and tried to pressure me into doing things I didn't want to do.

That is NOT what advice is! So don't do it!

Issue #3: Cuckoo For Coco Puffs Gal

Girl 1: What would you do if you saw a really hot boy?

Me: Look at him and wonder how God created a perfect being.

Girl 2: Well, what if he came up to you and started up a conversation?

Me: Try to play it cool. I won't interest a guy if I fawn all over him as everyone else does. It would make me look desperate. Anyways, he's still human, no matter how pretty he is.

Girl 1: What if he kisses you?

Me: He won't.

Girl 1: Why not?

Me: Do you want the depressing answer or the real answer?

Girl 2: Both.

Me: The depressing answer is that he wouldn't want to kiss someone like me in the first place. The real answer is I wouldn't let him.

Girl 1: Why wouldn't you?

Me: Because I don't know him. He's just nice on the eyes.

*Subject changes and girl 2 talks about some boy drama crisis.*

Girl 2: He's so complicated and he drives me crazy.

Me: Why are you with him again?

Girl 2: Have you seen what he looks like?!

Me: No, but does that matter?

Girl 2: Besides, he and I are kinda friends. I don't wanna ruin that.*As my question is left ignored.*

Me: Understandable, but then why did you date him if you knew he acted this way?

Girl 1: *butting in* You don't get the situation fully since you've never been with someone.

Me: You're right, I haven't. This is exactly why.

Girl 1: But don't you like older men, they're the ones who seduce little girls like you. Even if he didn't do things like that, you'd put him in jail for being with you. It's dangerous.

Me: I like older men because they're usually more mature, and just because I like older men doesn't mean I'm going to let some random guy touch me or all of a sudden want to be with him. I'd have to get to know him first. Besides, when I say older men, a mean a few years older, I don't mean guys that are 40+. Guys my age just don't appeal to me.

Girl 2: You have a good mindset and give great advice for someone who's been alone all your life.

Me: And you give horrible advice for someone who's actually been in relationships before. See how ironic this situation is?

Girl2: Still doesn't mean I'm going to listen to what you say.

Me: Sounds like your problem then.

I think we all can agree looks are not all that, but clearly, this girl didn't this so!

After these little backstories, I'm sure you're sick and tired of me and want a cookie.

*hands you a plate of cookies and a gallon of chocolate milk*

There, now please pay attention!

Guidance, counseling and just being a friend is what great advice is based on. So then why do these scenarios matter?

The first scenario is very common and has happened in more ways than one (not just to me but to other people.) They also end the same way; me dealing with a very broken friend who had their heart broken by the same person I said to watch out for.

I don't give them the "I told you so." because that never solves anything, but BOY do I think it all the time! I mean seriously, I can't help someone who's not going to listen to a warning.

This one girl I knew would always ask me for advice, never take it, then later cry to me about it, and say how right I was. Then she'd do it all over again. Different problems, different tips, the same result.

There comes a time where some people invite these issues. They want the drama and problems and they want to do the opposite of what's been told for many reasons I can't fully comprehend.

Bottom line is, that you may not listen to me or someone else when they give you REAL advice, but the truth will come out eventually. All with time, and all with actions.

The proof is in the pudding: Some things just need to be played out in order to understand. 

And even though everyone else was in dire need to have hookups, many of my friends found it to be their mission to give me "advice" and get me involved. But I guess I'm a hypocrite since I never took their advice either! Once, a whole group of people I knew teamed up to talk me into going to that the dance with the same guy that liked me. The conversation ended like this: me more embarrassed than before, and stuck listening to silly life advice that was ridiculous with no common sense.

What good does that do? 

Pressuring someone is not helping them, it's torturing them. Asking for help, or blabbing about your problems for some tips and then ignoring it is not only a waste of your time but the person who's helping you. Be considerate. They don't need to help you!

Let's be honest, we're all a bunch of broken people helping and guiding other broken people on how to survive. We aren't perfect, and we aren't always right.

What to take from this; If you ask for advice, or someone actually says something useful, trying following it or at least think about it. Don't think emotionally, think rationally. 

I know not every piece of advice is handy or makes sense, but when it's something obvious or it's something that person already went through, it might be handy.

Let's face it; Some advice is lame, and some are helpful. But it all starts with some common sense and a little realism. And if you make a choice that goes against something someone said, you may be right, or you may be wrong.

The truth will come out eventually, and I'll be sure to have more popcorn ready when it all goes down.

Was this too blunt and straightforward for you? Are my life stories boring? Sorry, I can't help if they are.

Requests are always nice, so send me a topic I haven't done, and I'll gladly break it down for ya!

Hope this was helpful or entertaining in some way, shape, or form.

Mickey's out
*drops mic*