My confidence started to fade as I hopped on the bus. The hammering inside my chest wasn't helping much. I knew that Chris was going to be there.

Whoever thought that you could be friends with your ex-boyfriend was clearly delusional.

My eyes followed the blurred lines of the passing buildings as the bus cruised through the city. The air was cold as I stepped down of it. Slowly, I took my time to get to the small bistro I'd been summoned into.

When I finally made it, my lips curved up as I saw my best-friend with her boyfriend laughing out loud inside the place.

I had to admit that it was a really cool restaurant. The whole concept was about chemistry. I almost snorted out at that. I'd just been thinking about the whole sparks between people and such. Talk about irony!

Everything was decorated after the table of elements. Several potted plants adorned the outside of the place; yet, the inside of the venue was painted in black and all the wooden tables were doodled with funny images on white. As I walked in, I noticed that the little flower vases in the middle of the tables, were pipettes that had a small air plant on top. Also, white little lights adorned the whole ceiling, being the sole lightning, which made you feel all giddy and romantic-like.

Awesome.

Cassie's blue eyes spotted me as I admired the place. I smiled at her as our gazes met. She stood up and walked to greet me, passing both arms around me. I couldn't but notice how pretty she looked. She had gained a few pounds, making her look healthier, prettier. She was wearing and embroidered white blouse with jeans and a light purple sweater on that looked great on her. "Thank you for coming on such short notice. I just wanted to see you, to be honest." Her wide smile and the way her eyes sparkled happily made me feel warm inside.

I pulled apart, raising an eyebrow. "Are you trying to sweeten me up?"

"Is it working?" I rolled my eyes playfully without answering. We both knew it was. Cassie beamed back in response.

"Hi Farah," Nathan greeted me with a smile. My friend sat next to him, intertwining their hands. They locked eyes for a moment and their gaze was filled with warm feelings. I was so happy to see Cassie like that.

I could still remember how different she looked when we met. She was alive, but she wasn't living. She was in such a fragile state that I had found myself wanting to protect her, to be there for her. Good thing her life had turned around.

I cleared my throat. "Guys, you're not alone." I smiled at them before my stomach plummeted to the ground.

The roles had definitely reversed.

They were always complaining about how touchy Chris and I were, but now it was quite the opposite. And even though I was happy for Cass, I didn't know how I felt about myself.

"Am I late?" Chris' deep voice spoke from behind me. He did the whole bump fist he usually did with Nathan and gave a half-hug to Cassie before pulling back. His green eyes found mine, and my heart started to flutter. "Hi," he murmured as he sat next to me.

"Hi Chris." I straightened my sweater, completely avoiding his eyes.

Cassie spoke up, making me look at her. "You're just on time," my friend chimed in, rubbing her hands excitedly.

Even though I'd seen him in the morning, we hadn't interacted with one another due to the fact that I'd avoided him at all costs. He had that military cargo jean jacket that brought out the color of his eyes and a black t-shirt underneath.

Damn it.

Does he ever look bad?

The worst part was when the spicy aroma of his cologne filled my nostrils and I sort of wanted to close my eyes and lean on to him. I used to love his cologne, it always drove me crazy. I'm sure there are pheromones or something in it.

Shifting on my seat, I took a deep breath, knowing that I was just punishing myself, but what the hell. Cassie's eyes were on me and her lips twitched as she knew perfectly well that his scent always drove me insane.

Wait a minute.

Something seems fishy here.

This looks like a double-date.

I narrowed my eyes at her but she gave me her best innocent smile. "Where's Anne?" I asked warily.

No, Cassie, please tell me you didn't!

She couldn't hide her big-ass grin. "She has school tonight, so she couldn't make it." I glared at her. She was so setting us up!

She ignored my heated glance as she turned to her boyfriend to say something to him. Freaking awesome. I must have rubbed in on her.

In my defense, Anne and Jay could have been a cute couple if Jay had been more brave and less of a dickhead. Still, I was the worst match-maker, for Christ's sake!

"How did you do on class today?" Chris asked me as he passed a hand across the table to snatch a bread stick from the small basket in the middle. A few bangs fell on his eyes as he glanced at me. With his hand, he pushed them away a bit annoyed.

I swallowed hard. He never looked better.

My eyes followed the line of his strong jaw for a moment, before I turned away completely embarrassed because I was gawking at my ex-boyfriend.

Okay. Farah. Stop it.

I cleared my throat. "It was...interesting." I smiled thinking about my chocolaty blissful moment.

His eyes were intense. They roamed all over my face, as if they were studying me. "What is your theme again?" He pressed his lips together, trying not to grin. He is playing with me, he has no idea what I'm doing and he's dying to know. Or maybe he's just trying to make conversation.

Then again, my stomach fell all fluttery already. Just because this was the side of him that I missed most. The way he was always making jokes and bringing a smile to my face.

Crossing my arms across my chest, I feigned being annoyed. "I'm not telling you, pal."

He cracked up at that. His eyes sparkled with a mischievous glint. "You don't need to." He leaned back on his seat. "I'll figure it out myself."

I snorted. My theme is so random that I know he wouldn't guess it in a million years. "You'll never guess it, Chris," I made a dismissive gesture, as if telling him good-luck, pal.

He raised an eyebrow, a smirk forming on his lips. "Is that a challenge?"

I shrugged. Reaching through the table, I grabbed a bread stick. I bit the top, chewing purposefully slow. "If you want," I said nonchalantly as I stared back at him.

Holy crap! I mentally patted myself on the back for not letting the way he was looking at me falter my random boost of confidence.

"You're on."

I always thought I was some sort of challenge for him. I always looked like a two-goody-shoes, but I never acted like one in front of him. Honestly, I'd been terrified and elated while being around him when I met him.

He was the not your typical bad-boy, but he had the whole demeanor.

I remembered the first time he took me home from school. We'd ridden his motorcycle and I'd been so freaking scared when I hopped on it. I didn't admit that I'd never been on one, Mom would have killed me if she knew I was. As a nurse, she was awful when it came to any health hazards. It was impossible for her not to see a threat at every corner. We all knew she tried not to make a fuss of everything. Yet, I was pretty sure that riding a motorcycle was on top of her most-dangerous-things-to-do list.

In my defense, I was wearing a helmet.

He didn't drive fast, though. My legs felt like jelly when I stepped down of it. He grabbed my hand to help me out, but he didn't let go. He walked me to my front door and my hand was tingling all over. My heart was in my chest when we got to the main porch.

"Thank you," I'd murmured embarrassed, not really looking at him, knowing full-well that my cheeks were warm, and not exactly from the ride.

His eyes were darker when his hand cupped my cheek. My lips parted as he leaned closer to me, moving deliberately slow, letting me stop him if I wanted to.

We really didn't know each other. We'd just met. Literally. A few weeks ago, but I wanted him to kiss me, so bad.

I closed my eyes just before his lips brushed on mine. Chris had been my first kiss, my first everything.

I'd always imagined that first kisses were awkward and even sloppy.

It wasn't. It was soft and scorching at the same time.

I hadn't seen sparks.

I'd felt them.

I swallowed hard, feeling my throat as if I'd swallowed a ball of cotton and it had stuck inside my throat.

Fuck, Farah.

Why the hell do I do this to myself? Why think about our first kiss?

My pulse rate was racing a mile a minute, as I felt my cheeks extremely hot. I need air.

"I'll be right back," I murmured as I pulled my chair back. Cassie was lifting her arm to get the waiter's attention. She looked at me and a flash of concern passed through her eyes. The waiter arrived and as I was walking away, I heard her ask for the menus.

My breath was ragged as I leaned on the sink. "Damn," I muttered as I closed my eyes. I can't torture myself like this. There is nothing between us now.

I exhaled slowly, before opening my eyes. I stared at my reflection trying to feel as strong and confident as I looked. When my heart rate returned to normal, I washed my hands and took another long breath before going back to my friends.

Cassie's eyes were inquiring as I took a seat. I ignored her. "What are you guys having?" I said before grabbing the menu that was laying in front of my place. I scanned it, trying to look nonchalant.

"I'm having the oxygen special," my friend said after a moment. "It's a salad, but it's really good." My eyes cut to her. My lips twitched as I was about to say something about the whole bridezilla thing Anne mentioned the other day, but Cassie must have caught on because she glared at me, making me bit my bottom lip. It served as a distraction, as I could breathe out more freely, not feeling that tightness inside my chest.

I asked for the same salad as her. The rest of the evening was spent between jokes from the guys to the talk of Cassie and Nathan's wedding. They mentioned that they wanted to marry in New York over the fall. That was more than a year apart, but I was glad they were waiting more. They were living together already, but getting married sort of implied that they might consider being a family. We were still too young to start thinking about kids and such.

Plus, New York in the fall sounded utterly romantic.

I'd avoided Chris as much as I could. I'd answer a few things here and there, but I tried not to look at him. To be honest, I was sort of freaked out at myself for thinking about our first kiss.

I did not need this. Not now.

I was bound to see him, but I needed to stop feeling things for him.

I concentrated on enjoying the time with my friends.

Good thing, since the food was great but the conversation was even better. Nathan told us about his life in college too. He was majoring as an engineer. Which was a total given since he and Chris both aced Math back in school.

Just like Cassie, he seemed so different from the guy I'd met a year ago. He didn't have that haunted look in his eyes, or the usual nonchalance around him. He was talking animatedly, even making jokes of how Cass burned his favorite t-shirt while ironing. Something that cracked me up, because I knew she had done it deliberately. She'd told me about it through one of our Skype sessions. She hated the darn t-shirt, the colors had completely faded and she mentioned that it even had a few holes in it.

We shared a knowing look, Cassie stifling a laugh.

After coffee, I glanced at my phone's clock to see the time. I barely had fifteen minutes until the bus services finished. I raised my hand to get the check. "I should get going, guys."

"How did you get here?" Nathan asked, his brows furrowing. "We didn't see your Mom's car."

The waiter came by and I asked him for the tab before answering him. "By bus, but if I want to catch it, I need to get going."

Cass frowned. "Aren't you guys neighbors?" She glanced at Chris, then at me. I narrowed my eyes at her and if looks could kill, she'd be lying on the floor right now.

She played innocent, though.

Chris cleared his throat. "I'll get you home, Farah."

For the briefest of times, I glanced at him. His eyes were deep as he stared at me. He didn't want to take me home, as much as I didn't want him to. I turned away. "I can catch the bus, it's okay."

"Chris is delighted to get you home, right?" My alleged best friend intervened. Her lips curved up at my intense glare.

"Right." Chris muttered curtly.

We split the tab and walked outside the venue. When I hugged Cassie goodbye, I told her that I was on her. She simply chuckled at me. Rolling my eyes, we pulled away before I said goodbye to Nathan too. Chris and him half-hugged, half-patted each other on the back before they walked away to the parking lot.

I stared after them as the grip on my bag's strap tightened.

"Are you still afraid of motorcycles?" Chris voice sounded beside me. He knew damn well that I was. Mom's warning voice always loomed inside my head.

"You don't have to do this, Chris. I can still catch up the bus," I murmured as I took out my phone to see the time.

I felt his heated glare before I looked up. He was crossing his arms, his jaw clenched. "Why are you making such a fuss, Farah? I'm just taking you home."

"I'm not." I shrugged nonchalant, not trying to show how uncomfortable his stare made me feel.

His eyes narrowed for a moment, before he uncrossed his arms. "Good." In three forceful strides, he'd reached the black motorcycle parked on the street and raised the helm for me. I frowned. "What about you?" I asked as I stepped closer to him.

"I don't need it." He murmured as he hopped on, waiting for me to climb on the back.

Swallowing hard, I mustered all my bravery and climbed on the vehicle, knowing well that I needed to pass my arms around him to hold on to. I hate you Cassie!

Slowly, I held on to him while my heart constricted. The scent of his cologne engulfed me just as the motorcycle roared to life. Since he knew that I was afraid of riding motorcycles, he always drove carefully with me. Not this time. This time, the bike jerked off as he stepped on the accelerator, making me grip tighter on to him.

Closing my eyes, I tried to ignore the way my heart was racing. I couldn't tell if it was due to the fact that I was holding him or the fact that we seemed to be zooming away through the streets.

Either way, I was sure to have a heart attack.

When the motorcycle stopped, I couldn't pull myself away from Chris for a few seconds.

Out of fear to fall or because I didn't want to let him go. I'd kept my eyes closed all the time. Slowly, his warm hands encased mine before he whispered softly, "We're here." My heart skipped a beat. His tone was sort of husky and he didn't take his hands away. I took a deep breath, opening my eyes.

"Thank you," I licked my lips. My hands were tingling and my stomach churned uneasily. I didn't want to pull away, and that was the scary part. My breath caught in my chest as I did.

He climbed down and helped me stand up, and just like the first time we kissed, my knees felt like jelly. He stood up in front of me and delicately held the helmet, sliding it off my head while my eyes drowned in the greenish pool of his. My heart tightened even more.

This felt too much like our first kiss.

We stared at each other for the longest of moments. Everything I though was forgotten was reemerging and it scared the crap out of me. He was clenching his jaw, but his grip on my waist was gentle. His eyes looked stormy, like there was a real struggle going on inside of him too.

A shaky breath left my lips as my heart felt heavy. "Thank you for the ride."

His lips tugged up slightly. "You already said that."

A strangled chuckle left my lips. "Yeah."

The struggle inside his eyes diminished. "Was it too hard, though?"

Yes. "No."

He bobbed his head, a small smile playing on his face. He took a step back. "Good night, Farah."

I gazed at him before nodding my head. Turning away, I started to walk through the small path towards the front of my house, when my feet stopped and I shifted to him. He was leaned against his bike, looking at me.

"Do you think that we could try to be friends?" my tone was soft, defeated and heavy at the same time.

His gaze was intense as he pushed himself off the bike. Slowly, he sauntered to me. My heart was racing by the time he reached me. His eyes roamed all over my face before he raised his hand, brushing my cheek with the back of his palm. "I don't think I could ever see you as a friend."

My stomach clenched at his words, my lips parting in surprise. He swallowed hard before hopping on his bike and riding away.

I stood frozen on the spot, my eyes following him as he drove off.

What the hell is that supposed to mean?

Thank you for reading me!