Monday rolled in and I was early for college. Not that I was planning to bump into Chris or anything. I also hadn't styled my hair down, with soft waves to look pretty. Or put one of my favorite's sequin sweaters, just to make sure he wouldn't miss me in the park.

My shoulders sagged. I am bordering into the pathetic lane.

It was pitiful to see the extent I was taking to gain his attention. Yet, there I was. Ten minutes before class, all set up, waiting for my classmates to reach our designated spot.

Since I still had time, I took a seat on the closest bench. I grabbed my phone and started to scroll through my Facebook feed, learning useless things, like the fact that one of my classmates back in California had broken up with her boyfriend and another had tainted her hair bright red.

Sighing, I crossed my legs trying not to look at the time. The minutes passed and a couple of my peers arrived. I had rarely spoken to them, so we didn't exchange more words than hello.

I met Caitlin's eyes just as she was stepping through the path to our meeting point. Smiling, she walked to me. "Hey." I waved with a small grin on my lips, at the same time she sat next to me. "What are you up to?"

Shrugging, I turned off my phone's screen. "Not much. You?"

Her golden curls shimmered under the sunlight. "We should definitely get together sometime. There's this karaoke place that it's the bomb."

I pursed my lips. "I don't do karaoke. My voice is squeaky and high-pitched like a banshee's when I sing."

She pulled back her head as she laughed at me. "You're so funny, Farah! But I won't make you sing if that means torture for the rest of us. We can have laugh at other's performances." She winked at me at the same time Michael walked into our little group.

"Good morning guys!" I didn't pay attention to what he was saying, because I was too busy scanning our surroundings. Chris was nowhere in sight.

Where is he?

My left foot started to tap against the floor nervously as I clasped my hands together. I didn't feel like I could text him because I didn't want to seem clingy or anything. I mean, not that I was being completely pathetic before.

Ugh. I hate this uncertainty.

As usual, Michael gave us time to do our daily picture. I couldn't concentrate at all. No book title came to mind and everything in the park seemed pointless and lame to snap.

The hours seemed longer than usual. When the time was up, thankful, I stepped to Mom's car to pick up my sisters.

Where the hell is he?

He wouldn't miss class if it wasn't something important.

Riley wasn't in the best of moods either. She had a fight with one of her friends and was as grumpy as hell. We both were. The ride back home was silent and somber. Haley's brown eyes were just wide as they glanced from Riley to me. She pretty much sprang out of the car as soon as I parked it in front of the house.

To make things worse, Mom called and asked me to start assembling a tuna salad for dinner because she didn't know if she was going to make it on time. I was just opening the second tuna can, when the doorbell rang.

"Haley could you get the door?" I shouted from the kitchen, pouring the tuna into the salad bowl. Either she didn't hear me or she ignored me completely. Groaning, I grabbed a paper towel and cleaned my hands as I walked to the door. I took a deep breath, trying to appear more calmed than how I actually felt.

My heart tightened when I opened the door. The culprit of my shitty day waved at me. "Hi," Chris seemed tired. His eyes were not at bright as usual and there were dark circles under his eyes.

I so wanted to reach out for him. Instead, I crumpled the paper towel, feeling wary. "What's up?"

He had both his hands on his front pocket jeans. He looked down for a second, before glancing up. "Can I come in?"

I blinked at him. "Yes, of course."

He passed next to me and I almost close my eyes to inhale the spicy scent of his cologne, but I managed not to breath much. He stopped in the hallway, right in front of the kitchen's door, waiting for me to move and close the door.

It took me a moment to realize it, though. Blushing like crazy, I closed the door and padded to the kitchen with unusual swiftness. Obviously ignoring his eyes following my every move or the stupid smirk that had probably formed on his face.

Grabbing the spoon, I started to mix all the ingredients in silence. A million questions swirled inside my head.

Why does he look tired? Why did he miss class? What is he doing here?

That's when I noticed that my salad was almost a puree and that the subject of my concern was standing right in front of me. However, I didn't want to voice my queries out loud. There was no need to show him just how clingy and pathetic I really was. I mean, more than what I was already conveying.

I left the wooden spoon on the counter. "Do you want a coke or something?"

He shook his head. "Which book did you portray today?" He placed his right arm on the counter, leaning on his elbow and cupping his chin, watching me intently.

Licking my lips, I swallowed hard. "I didn't find anything relevant." I turned away from him and started to take out the plates and forks to set the table.

"How so?"

Not looking at him, I stepped through the room to set the table. "I wasn't inspired," I shrugged.

I heard him shuffle. His strong hands encircled my waist as he leaned his head on my shoulders. I took a sharp intake of breath, surprised at the fact that he was hugging me. My heart started to race as his minty breath caressed my neck. "Maybe we should visit the library tomorrow."

My hand was trembling as I set the forks right next to the plates. "What about your picture? Did you take one?" His arms tightened, but he stayed quiet. Frustrated at the fact that he wasn't saying anything, I pulled away from him.

From the pantry, I took some bread out and started to make sandwiches for everyone. The whole thing looked more like a lumpy dough and I was sure that nobody would eat that. Unless I turned it into tuna sandwiches. Taking out the lettuce and tomatoes, I started to assemble them. I even made one for him, too.

What are you not telling me?

I so wanted to smack some answers out of him. But I was giving him time, hoping that he'd confide in me when he feels like it. Hopefully.

"I'm going to New York on Friday," I blurted out as I finished stacking all the sandwiches on a plate. I didn't know why I said it. My brows furrowed as I walked around the kitchen collecting glasses to place on the table too.

"That sounds like fun." He murmured softly, before grabbing my hand as I passed by him. He let it go for a second, before grabbing it again.

Confused at his behavior, I gazed at him. My stomach tightened at the gentle way his thumb made soothing circles on my hand. He wasn't looking at me, he was staring at our hands. My heart soared for him, he seemed so tired, so sad. Lonely, even.

What's going on Chris?

We heard feet coming through the stairs before he pulled his hand apart. Haley stepped inside the room and her eyes lit up at the sight of my ex-boyfriend. I fought the urge to roll my eyes by setting out a few soda cans from the fridge for everyone.

Riley came in right after that. We sat around the table and everyone started to eat the sandwiches. I was right, they were awful. Only Chris managed to finish his, right after two soda cans. Nobody complained, though. Especially since they hadn't helped around with dinner. It was no secret that I just couldn't cook.

My sisters were in charge of cleaning the kitchen and while they did that, I walked Chris out.

"Do you want to go to the library tomorrow?" his head was slightly tilted, giving him a boyish look. It was quite irresistible. I was pretty sure he knew it too.

"What about class?"

"What about it? We're doing research. I'm sure Michael would approve."

Snorting, I shook my head. "You're a bad influence, Chris."

A sense of Deja-vu washed through me. He'd been one of the culprits behind the first time I skipped class. Nathan had been involved too. Some lame girl was trying to bully Cass by painting slut in her locker and we'd taken that as an excuse to leave school. It had been one of the best days of my life. We'd gone to Fenway Park and had a blast.

He pinched his lips before looking down. "I've never been a good influence, Farah." He swallowed hard before raising his hand and mocking a military salute. His eyes were filled with different emotions before he stepped away. "See you tomorrow."

With a sinking feeling in my stomach, I watched him walk away. My eyes teared up as I fought the urge to go after him and give him a hug. He seemed to need one, but I wasn't sure if he'd appreciated it.

You're wrong.

You've been the best kind.

My life was perfect with you. 

Thank you for reading me!