~Kunmi~

"People be damned Kunmi. You're hands down the most interesting, fascinating, and beautiful girl I know. You're intelligent and deep that I always find myself looking forward to spending time and talking with you and the rest of the world doesn't know that, that's their loss, not yours."

I blinked, once twice at his words. It's the most beautiful words someone has ever said to me but I did not believe it. Something that beautiful couldn't be true about me.

I looked away from his face, from his eyes that seemed to want to drink me in, my heart thudding louder in my chest, to where he grabbed my hands, right on my wrist. I tried pulling away but his grip remained firmer, stronger even that I had to look up at his face again, and yet, I was stunned by the intensity in his eyes.

"You should let go of my hand."

I said in a strangely low tone, a tone that betrayed whatever was going on with my body and mind at the moment.

He only shrugged as if this was all-natural with him, his index finger tapping space on my wrist. I tried to pull away once again but his hold became even firmer.

"I'm not letting go until you believe my words."

What??

I scoffed and I shook my head, my lips stretching into a smile. What words?

"It's starting to hurt."

I said plainly and he let go of my hand immediately, his expression apologetic as ever that I couldn't help but to burst into laughter at his expense.

"Was that a joke?"

He asked, leaning forward so he'd see my face and I shook my head.

"You weren't going to let go of my hands if I did come up with something."

"I was going to let go once you believe me."

I scoffed again.

"It's hard just to start unbelieving what you've believed in all your life."

"Even if it's a blatant lie....."

"Especially if it's the only truth you've ever known."

"It's nowhere close to the truth and deep down, you know that too. You're probably just afraid to confront that truth."

I shook my head. It's easier for people like Adam, people like Sophia who have the perfect smiles, the perfect statures, the perfect faces, the perfect charisma to think from our perspective, people like me.

"You don't understand...."

"Make me."

He interrupted just as the bell went off, signaling the end of the free period and the beginning of the next period.

"You guys are still here."

Someone said and we both looked away from each other to see Sophia standing right behind the bench opposite us. Then she walked away without a word.

Adam stood up too and before he walked away, he looked at me and said;

"I meant everything I said."

Then he walked away.

Someone saying this to me can't be compared to the tens of people that have told me otherwise and yet, I find myself wanting to believe his words.

I enjoy his company, fine. I feel more at home and peace when I'm with him, when I'm talking with him but he couldn't possibly feel that same way, could he?

He probably just said all that for the sake of humanity, right?

And what if he meant all of them? What if he was being sincere?

That was the smallest voice in my head, the one that had been squashed over and over by the stronger ones, the one that had died that day but it was talking to me again, it was telling me the things I desperately wanted to believe again.

But I knew better.

************

The Interhouse Sport was eventful. Blue house won effortlessly and Sophia beamed as if she had been crowned the Queen of England when she collected the Trophy. Greenhouse lost gallantly, there wasn't even a need for them to try. The red house came second and obviously, the yellow house came third.

That was two days ago and right now, I was sitting on a dining chair and I was supposed to be enjoying breakfast with my family, dad, mom, and my younger brother but I wasn't, not with my thoughts swirling in a thousand directions.

You're pretty and intelligent and deep and if the world doesn't know that, it's their loss, not yours.

Such beautiful lies.

But I don't why they bothered me this much, why I found myself thinking about them this much, why I felt the need to lock the words in the deepest part of my heart so that on my bleakest days, I'd reach for them.

Because I wanted to believe in those words. It's that simple.

He wasn't wrong to have assumed that I was going to the sleepover because I had no option. That was the main reason why I was going in the first place. When Aminah first told me about the sleepover, my first reaction was to tell her no, especially when she said Bola and her other snobbish friends were going to come too but I'd said yes because I felt the need to please Aminah especially since she had been nothing but pleasant and nice to me. I don't want to disappoint her.

And thinking about the sleepover, it was today. Today!! God!

"Bukunmi, why are you not eating?"

Dad asked suddenly, cutting through my thoughts and my face jerked towards his direction before I looked down at my food. It was untouched.

"I'll start eating now."

I picked up my spoon, dug into the yam porridge, the taste of crayfish, meat, and all the assorties assaulting my tongue once the spoon entered my mouth.

Good food has to be the same thing as heaven on earth.

"Are you thinking of starting your diet again?"

Mom asked suddenly and the delicious food immediately tasted like bile in my mouth. I dropped my spoon.

"Haba, let her enjoy her food in peace."

Dad's voice was chastising but what's the use now, the damage had already been done. I had the reminder I needed;

You're fat! You're fat!! You're fat!!!

And nothing is ever going to change that.

I dragged my chair backward and I stood up, my appetite was gone, completely.

"I'm not hungry. I'll just go to my room now."

"You'll do no such thing. Now sit back and enjoy your food."

Dad's voice was stern, his face set and I knew it wasn't ideal to argue with him so I just sat back and I ate the food, without tasting it.

When I finally escaped to my room, the first thing I did was to enter my bathroom, pick up my toothbrush, pushed it to the deepest part of my throat until my stomach rubbled and I vomited all the food I ate.

Beautiful? Intelligent? Deep?

Someone needs to tell that boy that fat people don't feel any of those things.

No.

   
                              **********

My body felt empty, drained, numb and my stomach just wouldn't stop rubbing. I wasn't going on a hunger strike and I definitely won't use a toothbrush that way again but for today, just today.

I was lying on my bed, my eyes fixed on a spot on the ceiling as if there were more to it and it was only when my alarm sounded that I was jolted out of my reverie.

Aminah's sleepover!!

God! My fingers were twitching to send a message to her that I wouldn't be able to attend but I found myself drawing back, unable to do that.

Maybe I needed to get out of this room and to breathe fresh air in another place that wouldn't remind me so much of everything, somewhere to ease this numbness out of me

And besides, Sophia had messaged me this morning, suggesting that we should go together since we live so close to each other and eventually, we agreed on going from here.

I did not even bother asking her how she got my number or why she'd suggest something like that when we ain't exactly a friend. She was full of surprises and I wasn't going to get surprised anymore.

Or so I thought.

She was going to get here anytime and I still wasn't dressed, still haven't packed my overnight bag. Oh shit! I sat up on my bed, my mind thinking of the things I'd pack. I've never done a sleepover at someone's house before and I know next to nothing about it works. Was I supposed to turn up with a gift? Aminah had told me not to worry about that and I wasn't going to bother with that.

I finally got down from my bed, rummaged through my closet and I finally picked out the things I felt I'd need. Immediately I was done dressing up, my phone rang and it was Queen Weirdo that was calling.

Yes, I saved her number with that.

"Hello."

I said into the receiver once I picked it up.

"I'm downstairs already."

Came her curt reply before she hang up and I never felt the need to smack someone more than at that moment.

When I opened the front door, the first person I saw was the tall and thin girl leaning against a car in the garage. She wore a baggy shirt and I thought that was the only thing she wore until I saw an outline of what looked like a bum short and a black tote bag dangled from her left shoulder with shades on, of course. She looked beautiful, especially with her caramel skin glistening and glowing under the sun.

She'd always looked beautiful. God gave her a fine face and her pretty stature to make up for her nasty attitude.

"Hi."

I mouthed when I got to her and she removed her shades slowly as she gave me a brief appraisal, her eyes sweeping from my legs to my face which made me feel all too conscious.

"I like your gown."

She said plainly and I found myself looking down at the short flowered wrap gown that I wore. What's there to like about plain gown?

"It's pretty. I might end up stealing it."

And she smiled before putting her shades back on.

Aah! I thought I wasn't going to get more surprised but it seems the whole existence of this girl was full of surprises.

We both entered the car and as expected, Queen Weirdo kept up herself throughout the drive.

Only God understands this girl.

Only God!

*********

Hours later, we were in Aminah's room with three of her other friends, the Bola girl, Christy, and Tolase. Immediately we arrived, Sophia had walked into the room as if she owned it and she sat down on Aminah's bed as if she has done that every other day. Aminah seemed genuinely surprised and happy at Sophia's enthusiasm. 

Maybe it's high time I told her, that Sophia isn't what she thinks she is.

Except I wasn't even sure what Sophia was, anymore.

After weirdo, confusion should be her other name.

The other girls had changed to their nightgowns, right in the room showing off their perfect bodies and I couldn't for the life of me change right here, in the room. The only person who had seen my semi-nakedness was myself. I just couldn't change right in front of others. That was the reason why I was still dressed but Sophia,

Well, she hasn't left the bed since we got here and she hasn't stopped pressing her phone. We were the only ones on the bed while the others were on the floor, in a circle right beside the bed.

"Ain't you guys going to change into your nightgowns?"

Aminah asked again, for like the umpteenth time.

"We'd do that when we're about to sleep."

Sophia answered, speaking for the both of us, her eyes still glued to her phone.

"Okay then, you guys should come and sit with us. It's no fun if you don't join us in the games we're about to start."

Sophia pursued her lips and she rolled her eyes before she stood up. I did the same and I sat beside Aminah, between her and Bola. The space was small and the Bola girl was so unwilling to shift. I used my entire weight to push her sides and she ended up stumbling out of where she sat and surging right out of that space to the middle of the circle.

Well. Good for her.

"Thank you."

Sophia said as she sat down on the now space beside me, leaving the Bola girl with no excuse but to sit somewhere else.

I smiled. Moments like this, I just can't help but like Sophia.

"This feels like we're a cult or something."

Tolase said, her voice a little bit lower than usual. She sat beside Sophia while Christy sat beside her, leaving Bola between Christy and Aminah.

"How about we switch off the light and we light a candle right in the middle of this circle?"

Christy suggested, her voice full of excitement and enthusiasm. She seemed like someone genuinely interested in having fun and I saw why She and Aminah were friends. They had that in common.

"Not gonna happen. That's creepy as fuck. It's not gonna happen, not in my room sha."

"So what should we start with?"

Christy asked again and I could tell she was interested in this thing. I was already feeling sleepy self and it was just 8 pm. I have a long way to go.

"Truth or dare??"

"Nooo, Tolase, let's not start with that. Should we play an ice breaker game? We'd get to know each other and bond well."

I heard Sophia's thoughts; Why would I want to bond with you?

"Yes, let's do that Christy. Should we start with you then?"

"Host, Nah. Lemme say the first question but we should start with......."

She trailed off, looking around until her eyes landed on Sophia.

"Let's start with the pretty model and it goes the right way."

That made me the second in line.

"So the first question is; Describe yourself in a word."

The room fell silent as we all waited for Sophia to answer the question. She said nothing for a while and I thought she wasn't going to talk until she cleared her throat.

"I don't I can describe myself in a word. It's never going to be accurate but I know one word that I'm not sha. Nice. I'm not nice. It's too tasking to be nice to people, I'd rather ignore them."

She replied, shaking her head and I smiled to myself. Typical Sophia.

I was the next person and I tried to look for a word to describe Kunmi but I couldn't think of one. The only one I was sure of was the ugly word.

"Quiet."

Christy who was directly opposite me nodded while Bola beside her coughed, clearing her throat loudly and muttering the words or fat.

My insides closed off instantly and I was sure I was the only one that heard it because the game continued. It was Aminah turn

"I'd describe myself as bubbly."

I heard Sophia roll her eyes.

Figuratively.

"Well, as Sophia Williams said, it's hard to sum me up in a word but if there was something that comes close, that'd be sexy."

"Or probably stupid."

Was Sophia's instant reply to Bola's words and my mouth, with the rest of the mouths in the room dropped open except Sophia who picked up her glass of mocktail at that moment and she started drinking.

"Excuse me?"

Gone was the admiration in Bola's voice when she'd said Sophia Williams as if she was ready to worship the ground Sophia would walk on. The admiration was now replaced with anger and something else. The Bola girl was fuming.

"Oh, my bad. I was just thinking out loud."

I couldn't stop my lips from stretching into a smile and from the corners of my eyes, I could see Aminah place her palm on Bola's lap as if to soothe her, to stop her from saying something else.

The game continued and I'd have to admit that it was kind of fun, save Bola being stupid and Sophia giving weird and confusing answers. When we ran out of questions to ask each other, Tolase suggested we play Truth or Dare again and Sophia yawned loudly. Truth be told, I wasn't a fan of the game either. We all ended up agreeing that the game wouldn't be that interesting since we were just girls.

The girls ended up going doing a karaoke session. By the girls, I meant Aminah, Bola Christy, and Tolase while Sophia and I watched them. Aminah had switched off the white bulb in her room and she had switched on club blurbs, a mixture of red, blue, yellow, and green bulbs lining up the entire length of her ceiling and the walls in her room.

It looked beautiful.

Almost four hours later, glass after glasses of mocktails, packets of pizza, wraps of Suya, chickens later and the most time I've spent having fun in a long while, even though I did not do most of the actions or talking but most of the watching, we ran out of the things to say and games to play and I was lowkey glad, thinking that we were finally going to sleep when Christy shouted in her loud chirpy voice;

"Why don't we talk about boys? Our love lives??"

I thought she was enthusiastic before? Well, I take it back now. I just feel like gagging her, shutting her off.

"Let's talk about the boys we like? I agree."

Aminah replied, matching her energy and I shook my head. I don't have anyone to talk about so I was just going to keep quiet. I was back on the bed with Sophia while the rest of the girls took their positions on the floor, comforters wrapped around them.

"Yes. I'll go first."

Bola said, her voice enthusiastic too.

"Ayyyyyyye. Mama. Pretty sure you're going to talk about 10 boys."

Aminah teased her, nudging her by her elbows while the former giggled.

"They're just side flings. No nigga has ever made me feel the way that nigga......"

She trailed off and she typed two of her fingers together as if trying to remember the nigga.

"Aminah, the fine nigga at your party. What's his name again?"

"Adam?"

"Yes, Adam. That guy fine die. Link us up na."

Adam? Which Adam?

Wasn't this the same girl who was touching him at the party? The one he embarrassed?

Sophia scoffed beside me and I turned sideways to look at her. She was lying face down, her head held up by her two palms. Her lips were pressed tightly together with a bemused expression on her face and I was sure that she was trying hard not to laugh.

"AAAI. I understand. I'll talk to him."

Ehn? Which Adam are they talking about again?

Sophia did burst into laughter then but it was short laughter, the one that ended as soon as it started.

"It's a lost cause. He has a girl he likes and even if he doesn't have a girl he likes, you're not his taste."

The only thing I heard from Sophia was he has a girl he likes. He has a girl he likes?

"Adam has a girl he likes?"

Aminah asked, her tone incredulous.

"Wow. I did not know that."

"Well, basically, you ain't his friend."

Sophia replied, picking her nails but I barely heard her anyway.

He has a girl he likes??

"Okay, Guys. Lemme talk about the boy in my life. Well, he's the only one and all my friends know him because I keep talking about him. Kunle, the love of my life, he's my...."

He has a girl he likes??

I turned to look at Sophia who uttered these disturbing words only to find her looking at Aminah as the latter rambled on about how much Kunle meant to her. She wasn't looking at her with hate or anything, she was just nothing at her, her face blank. She seemed so genuinely interested in what Aminah was saying. It was almost like the words meant everything to her.

What now?

"Sophia, you're up next."

Sophia looked away from Aminah to Christy who just talked and it was only then that I realized that Aminah was done professing her love for Kunle to us.

"Well, I don't have any boy to talk about."

She replied in a bored tone and she changed her position, lying down on her back when Bola spoke up.

"Ehhh, come on, you're the hottest chic in this room and you don't have any boy to talk about? And the fact that you're Sophia William, well, not having a boy to talk about doesn't add up."

If she should abuse you now...

"Well, I've always liked a boy but he doesn't like me that way."

What???? I turned to look at her but her expression wasn't neutral again, there was a faraway look in them, a longing, perhaps? Her two hands were clamped over each other on her lower abdomen and she looked a bit sad??

Or torn between some things?

"I don't think any boy in his right-thinking senses wouldn't like you."

That was Christy and Bola nodded in agreement. Sophia pursed her lips, a scoff escaping through them.

"Just shoot your shot."

"He has a girlfriend."

"Makes it even better. Who doesn't like a little competition? If you let him know that you like him, who knows? He might end up calling it off with his girlfriend because of you."

Confirmed!! This Bola girl is not only stupid, she has to be the most useless girl in the history of the world, useless. What normal girl would advise someone to ruin another girl's relationship?

I suddenly felt more sleepy. Aminah inviting Sophia and this useless Bola to the sleepover was a big mistake.

Sophia said nothing and I looked down at her face again. There was a small smile playing on her lips as if she was remembering a joke or probably thinking about something. I knew it couldn't be a good thing. I moved back when she sat up suddenly and she folded her legs beneath her.

"So, you think I should go for him?"

"Definitely, pretty sure you'd win."

Bola replied to her in less than a heartbeat.

"But she'd be ruining someone else's relationship."

"Who cares? What you want is what matters, not what the other person wants. You like a guy. Go for him! Consequences are damned."

Wow. What's going on here?

What kind of circle is this?

"I like the sound of that though."

Sophia said, her voice calculative and low.

"Aminah, what do you think? Should I go for him?"

Hmmm?

What the fuck?

I turned to look at Aminah who had a frozen smile on her face, that kind of expression when you're in the middle of smiling and someone asked you the least expected question. Then she nodded slowly as if coming out of her trance.

"Yes, you're fine and he might actually like you."

Ooooooh. I grabbed my bottle of water and I drowned it. If only I'd told Aminah that Sophia likes Kunle before now...

"I guessed I should then."

Sophia said with a note of finality before she picked her glass of mocktail and she drowned the entire content.

What just happened please?

Is that a declaration of war?

Well, all is fair in love and war.

Oh, God! Sophia Williams ehn 🥂🥂🥂 Well, she's just someone you can't hate.

Bola and Aminah self, how'd you advise someone to snatch someone else's boyfriend?? Like

Well, the sleepover continues in the next chapter and, you guys would laugh ehn 😂😂😂😂. God!

Okay! I want to talk about Kunmi's mom. I won't call her a bad mother but dear me lord, she's the most insensitive mother I've ever met. 80% of Kunmi's insecurity comes from her. Her mother would just open her mouth, wah, and close it, wah. Like God! The first thing about parenting is the words you raise your kids with. Good words and bad words would forever be imprinted in their memories. I want to enter the book and slap her.

And the issue of using toothbrushes to make yourself vomit. Ya Allah! I'm not blaming anyone. I know firsthand how many societal expectations affect people's sense of reasoning but then, there's a whole lot of difference between starving and dieting. You starve, you become sick, your diet, you lose weight.

Okay okay, see you in the next update 😂😂😂😂

See you on Friday ♥️♥️♥️