"So what's Hamlet supposed to do?" Jonathan asks in his English class. "His uncle offered his father. His mother's sleeping with his uncle. His girlfriend is completely schizoid, and people are dropping left and right."

"Sounds like Thanksgiving at my house." Shawn remarked.

Jonathan looks at him with furrowed eyebrows and shakes his head, continuing his lesson. "So Hamlet is faced with a terrible dilemma,  and he freezes like a bunny in the high beams." A girl sitting in front of Cory, handed him a note.

"For me?" Cory whispered to her.

The blonde-haired girl turns back to him, whispering, "Shawn." 

Gwen glanced up from her notebook she was doodling in when she over heard what was happening. After seeing the note, Gwen connected the dots and for some reason she frowned, feeling a strange feeling in her stomach. This was the bad thing about having a crush on a boy like Shawn. Shawn was flirtatious and every girl wanted him.

"Oh, yeah, right." Cory nods. "See, when you looked at me, I naturally thought-"

"Just pass it." The blonde-haired girl interrupted him. Cory frowned, passing the note to Shawn.

****

The trio was now in History class and Gwen sat in the back row again n beside Shawn. "October 1962. Young President Kennedy is faced with a seemingly impossible dilemma." Mr. Feeny points at Shawn. "Mr. Hunter, what were his options?"

 "Marilyn Monroe or his wife?" Shawn guessed.

"You never disappoint, Mr. Hunter." Mr. Feeny spoke.

Shawn smiles. "Thank you."

Gwen glances at him with an amused smile. "That wasn't a compliment, Shawnie."

A brunette-haired girl named Stacy, who's sitting diagonal from Cory, passes him a note. "Cory." 

"Ah, I knew it." Cory smiles, picking up the note. "For me." He glances over his shoulder at Shawn. "See, Shawn. You're not the only one."

"Pass it to Shawn." Stacy told him.

Cory crumbles up the paper and angrily sets it down on Shawn's desk. "Do I have an unlisted desk or something?" 

****

"Stacy, Linda, Linda, Stacy." Shawn said at lunch that day. He sits down at the table he and his best friends usually sit at as Cory and Gwen sit beside him. "I've never been so depressed in my whole life."

"I know. I mean, two beautiful girls both want you. Poor guy. There's got to be a hot line you can call. 'Course with your luck, a girl would answer, and she'd want you." Cory sarcastically spoke.

"If I reject Linda, she'll get upset." Shawn explains. "And there is now way I would ever want to see a pout on those beautiful full lips." 

He brought his gaze over to Gwen, who had been quiet this whole time. She rested her chin on her fist with her elbow on the table, and she had a pout on her lips. There was a sullen look in her eyes as she just messed around with her food. Gwen wasn't in the mood to eat anything, having lost her appetite because of the knots she felt in her stomach. "Actually," Shawn stares at Gwen with a dreamy look on his face. "It looks pretty good." He continued to stare at Gwen dreamingly until Cory snapped his fingers in front of his face.

"Where do you see that?" Cory asked Shawn.

Shawn snaps out of his gaze when Cory kept snapping his fingers in front of his face. He shakes his head, looking back at Cory. "But what if I reject Stacy, and she flips out, gets a sex change operation, and comes back as a really angry man seeking her revenge?" Gwen finally looks up from her meal, looking at Shawn with furrowed eyebrows along with Cory. "Hey," Shawn shrugs. "I've seen it happen."

"Shawn, just choose." Cory said.

"I can't." Shawn protested.

"Yes, you can. You did at lunch." Cory reminded him.

Shawn looks at him with furrowed eyebrows. "When?"

"When you picked meat loaf instead of chicken. How did you do that?" Cory inquired.

"Well, I couldn't decide. And then I saw you getting the chicken, so I figured if I changed my mind, I could have some of yours." Shawn gasped, staring at a random direction with wide eyes.

Gwen glances at him with raised eyebrows, wondering what he was going to say next. Shawn looks at her and Cory with confusion. "How do you know if you're having an idea?" 

Gwen looks at him with an 'are you serious' expression and sighs heavily. She turns her focus back to her food, mumbles to herself, "I'm surrounded by idiots."

****

"You are a sick and twisted individual." Cory said to Shawn as the trio walked down the hallway after lunch.

Shawn points at the curly-haired boy. "To you."

"And me." Gwen chimed in.

"Okay, to you too." Shawn points at her. He then points at himself. "To me, I'm a visionary." 

"It can't work." Cory told him.

Shawn opens his locker and nods. "It's bulletproof. I start dating one of the girls," He points at Cory. "While you go out with the other one for me. That way she's off the market when," He points at himself. "I'm ready to date her."

Gwen crosses her arms, rolling her eyes. "You know what I call that?"

Shawn glances at her with furrowed eyebrows. "What?" 

"A pig." Gwen replied. 

Shawn rolls his eyes and points at her. "Yeah, okay, but a pig with girls."

"What, you want me to keep her fresh until you're ready for her?" Cory asks Shawn. "What am I, Tupperware?"

Shawn closes his locker after getting his backpack. "What else do you have to do?"

"What do I have to do?" Cory repeats, pulling out his school calendar and opens it. "I'll have you know my calendar is chock-full."

Gwen and Shawn stand beside Cory to look at his calendar. "Of what?" Shawn inquired.

"Well, look, right here" Cory begins to flip through the calendar. "I got 'Lincoln's birthday', and after that I got 'Lincoln's birthday traditional'. And then there's, uh, 'vernal equinox', and, uh, 'Cino de Mayo', and...'Recorder calendar pages'. See, I'm so busy, I can't even talk to you now."

Shawn looks at him with a smug expression and with his hands on his hips. "So you're going to do this for me?"

Cory raises his arms out of frustration. "Oh, obviously."

Shawn smiles. "You're a life saver. I owe you."

"Yeah." Cory sighs. "So Shawn, just choose. Which one am I babysitting, meat loaf or chicken?"

Gwen rolls her eyes. "You mean Linda or Stacy?"

Cory shrugs, pointing at her. "Yeah, that's what I meant."

"Okay, whichever one comes up to me first, I'll go out with her because that means she likes me better than the other one." Shawn decided.

"Hi, Shawn." Linda greeted.

Shawn turns around to face her with a smile. "Linda."

"Linda," Cory smiles and outstretches his arms. "Congratulations."

Linda furrows her eyebrows. "For what?"

Shawn pushes Cory to the side. "For looking very Lindacious today." He smiles at her. "Isn't that enough?"

"Not for me." Linda smiles back at him. "Call me."

When she walks away, Cory shares a confused look with Gwen. "What was that all about?" Cory asked Shawn as they both looked back at Shawn. 

"Yeah, wasn't Linda the one you picked?" Gwen asked Shawn.

"I don't know. I panicked." Shawn admits. "I can't decide."

"Fine. You know what, you take Stacy, I'll take Linda." Cory suggested.

"No," Shawn argues. "I want Linda."

"Fine," Cory shrugs. "Then I'll take Stacy."

"No." Shawn whined, causing Gwen to roll her eyes.

"Shawn, stop acting like a greedy pig." Gwen told him, walking beside her two best friends when they began to walk down the hallway.

"No, I'm not." Shawn denied.

"Fine." Cory throws his arms out of frustration. "I'll go out with Debbie."

"I want Debbie." Shawn said, putting emphasis on the word 'i'.

"Shawnie," Gwen groans with annoyance. "There is no Debbie. Cory just made that name up."

"Somewhere there's a Debbie." Shawn grumbled.

****

After school that day, Gwen had gone to check on Kamden, who was still sick with the flu, but he was getting much better and should be going back to school soon. Since he had been getting better and he was less contagious she offered to hang out and watch a movie with him which he appreciated a lot. 

It's now the next day of school in History class. In a class she shared with just Cory, Cory had informed her on his problem. He now likes Linda and Linda likes him, but Shawn has no idea about it. Gwen didn't know what to do to help Cory with his problem, she did feel bad for him, but not that bad because she knew that this deal with Cory and Shawn would blow up in their faces and they should've known better.

"Young and inexperienced, he finds himself caught on the horns of an agonizing dilemma. And so young President Kennedy, charged with keeping the peace, fears that his inexperience may bring about the destruction of the entire world." Mr. Feeny explained.

"Oh, give him a break!" Cory exclaims suddenly. Gwen glances at him with surprise since she didn't expect him to shout suddenly, noticing a panicked look on his face. "This was his first big crisis, it wasn't his fault he liked the girl!"

Mr. Feeny stares at him with an unamused expression and crossed arms. "Mr. Matthews..."

"Yes?" Cory asked.

"Put your head down. It's nap time." In response to Mr. Feeny, Cory laid his head on his desk.

****

Later that Friday night, Gwen was at Chubbies, sitting at a booth by herself while her two best friends did their double-date thing that ended with the girls storming out. 

From her place at the booth by the boys, Gwen chuckles to herself and shakes her head. "I knew this was gonna end badly."

"Cory, that was not part of the plan." Shawn said to Cory as he sat down at a booth.

"Maybe I don't fit in to your safe little plan." Cory leans his hand on the table, pointing at Shawn. "Maybe that first day you came up to me in the hallway and said, 'Cory, babysit Linda for me until I break up with Stacy'," When the two girls come back and stand behind Cory, Shawn tries to signal to Cory to stop talking, but Cory wouldn't. "I should've said no, but I was stupid. Well, I'll tell you something, pal. I'm never going to be that stupid again." 

"That's a lie." Gwen chuckled.

Cory's quiet for a few seconds before he nods. "Both of them, right?" Shawn nods in response. "I turn around, and they're both going to be there." He turns around, sheepishly smiling at Linda and Stacy. "Yes, they are." 

Shawn stands up to stand by Cory. "Linda, Stacy, we thought you left. Boy," He chuckles nervously. "We really thought you left."

Stacy puts a hand on her hip. "I forgot my purse." She glares at Cory. "Wasn't that lucky?"

"Oh, yes, very lucky." Cory nervously smiles, picking up Stacy's purse and hands it to her. "Here you go."

"Thank you." Stacy smiled and hit Cory with the purse.

Cory yells, holding onto his left shoulder. "What about him?" He pointed at Shawn. Stacy walked over to Shawn, hitting him with her purse, causing him to yell and back up next to Cory. 

"I don't know which one of you two is sleazier." Linda spoke.

Cory and Shawn point at each other, speaking the same thing at the same time, "He is!"

Cory furrows his eyebrows. "It was your idea."

Shawn looks at Cory with a glare. "You went behind my back."

"That's 'cause I really liked her." Cory told him, gesturing at Linda.

"Well, I really liked them both." Shawn argued.

Gwen rolls her eyes and stands up, walking over to the table to stand by the table, standing across from the boys. She crosses her arms. "You both are sleazy."

Linda nods in agreement. "Exactly. You two are-are-" She tried to figure out what word to use and everyone in the restaurant who had been watching by now yelled out the word, 'scum'. 

"Thank you." Linda smiles at everyone. She looks at Cory and Shawn with a frown. "You treat us like objects, not people."

"You're right." Cory looks at her with an apologetic smile. "I'm real, real sorry."

Shawn nods in agreement, glancing between Linda and Stacy. "I just hope we can put this whole thing behind us and start fresh, okay?" He faces Cory, reaching his hand out to him. "Cory, I'll thumb wrestle you for Linda."

Stacy hits Shawn again and everyone claps as Linda and Stacy leave the restaurant. Gwen sits down at the booth and rolls her eyes when Shawn starts bowing. "Shawn, they aren't clapping for you." Shawn glanced at her with confusion.

"Yeah," Cory agrees. He frowns. "They're clapping because they hate us."

"Oh." Shawn's smile falls and he glares at everyone. "Well, same to you!" He sat down beside Gwen and Cory sat down across from him, both the boys having sad expressions on their faces.

"You know, I miss Linda already." Cory frowned.

"I miss Stacy...And Linda." Shawn spoke.

"And Debbie." Cory said.

Shawn nods. "And Debbie."

"Shawnie, once again," Gwen chuckles and hits Shawn's shoulder. "There is no Debbie."

Shawn looks at her with furrowed eyebrows. "Well, then how come I miss her so much?"

"'Cause you're an idiot." Gwen replied.

"I was gonna say because he's nuts," Cory chimes. He points at Gwen in a sing of agreement. "But yeah, that works too."

Shawn sighs and shakes his head. "So, here we are, just the two of us, a couple of dangerous guys."

"Me too?" Cory asked.

"You?" Shawn chuckles. "You are very dangerous. You're so dangerous I am never going to trust you with a girl again."

Cory raises his eyebrows. "So what you're saying is I lose my first girlfriend, but one of my best friends finally begins to respect me?"

Shawn nods and smiles at him. "Yeah."

Cory smiles, reaching a hand out to Shawn for him to shake. "I'll take it."

A/N to be honest this wasnt one of my favorite episodes of this show & i didnt like how narcissistic shawn was being but the episode did have a good lesson; dont treat woman like objects. there were also a lot of funny lines in this episode !