I don't know why but Braydon's view on cheating really unsettled me. And what is even more unsettling is that for a split second there, I actually doubted her when she said she would never betray me. I shouldn't feel that way, ever.

She's my best friend. She's been my best friend since freshman year of high school.

I try not to think too much about it. Perhaps the whole thing with Jax is making me second guess everything. I'm still shaken by the secrets that he keeps and I think that's making me doubt everybody else too. I keep telling myself that as the days roll by and when I'm sometimes in too deep in my thoughts.

Besides, between training, apartment hunting and spending time with Jax, there's little time for me to ponder over anything else these days. I've been kept really busy, particularly by Jax.

Lately, he's been stressed out about the whole underground tournament, which is quite odd to say the least because he's never been stressed about winning during the whole time I've known him. There's simply no reason for him to be worried at all—he's the best of the best and he knows it. He's won the championship twice now and his arrogance always gets the better of him so he's always certain that nobody can ever take that away from him.

But Julian has been putting a lot of pressure on him to change his tactics, which means Jax has to come up with new offense techniques that might either give him an advantage during the fights or cost him his championship. It's a risky thing to do—something that Jax is hell bent on not doing.

"You need to listen to me, boy," Julian smacks his towel on the bench out of frustration. "You need to break the routine—you're getting predictable—"

"If I change it, I'll lose. You know that. There isn't enough time for me to come up with another offense and defense front. I let them hit once, and then I pound the shit out of them. That's how it's always been and that's how it'll always be," Jax sneers back, taking off his wraps and throwing them on the ground.

"This is no longer an amateur competition anymore, Jax. I've seen what this season's fighters can do. There's a newbie—some are afraid of him and claim he should be a guy to watch out for—Kayden Williams—"

He scoffs, walking over towards the punching bags where I'm currently finishing up at. "No newbie is going to get the better of me. Right, princess?" He slides is arms around me from my back and press a light kiss on my bare shoulder.

"Of course," I say, turning my head and angling it so that his lips can meet with mine quickly. "You're the best. You're deadbeat."

"That I am." He winks at me and releases me. He turns around so he can face Julian, who's looking at him with a scowl. "I know what I'm doing, Jules. Just trust me."

"Your stupidity is going to get you killed, I just know it," Julian mutters as he disappears off to the locker rooms.

"You okay?" I ask, wiping my forehead with a hand towel.

"Fuck, he just gets on my nerves sometimes." Jax shakes his head. He folds his arms across his chest and leans against one of the punching bags. "I don't know how I tolerated him for this long."

"He's a good trainer."

"But I'm a better fighter."

"Maybe you should listen to him? He does give some great advice."

"Not this time." He shakes his head. "I feel it in my bones. His way is going to make me lose. And I'd rather die than to give over the championship to another fucker who doesn't deserve it."

I pause for a while. "You think that Kayden guy is really a guy to watch out for?"

"Don't get me wrong, I'm sure he's good," Jax says, a smirk forming on his face. "But you of all people know that I'm better."

I'm not entirely convinced, though. Something about this guy tells me that he plays a bigger part in our lives than we both can ever anticipate.

"Still, it wouldn't hurt to do some research about him. You don't want to underestimate your rivals too much."

"But I'm so... lazy. And tired." He pouts at me. "Can you do it for me?"

"Jax—"

He makes a puppy dog face. And damn, it's cute. How the hell can I possibly not resist that?

"Fine. I'll do it at home. I'll text you the details tonight."

"Thanks. You're the best." He kisses my temple.

"You know I'll do anything for you. I love you."

"Same here."

Why don't you ever say it back to me, Jax? Why is it so hard to say those three words?

I swallow the words that I'm too afraid to speak.

"Anyway, I need to get going soon." He nods to his gym bag that's sitting on the bench and I take it and throw it over to him. He unzips the bag and pulls out a fresh navy blue T-shirt. He takes off the sweaty shirt he has on and slips into the blue one, but not before I see more bruises dotting his back. It suddenly takes me back to last week, when I saw them for the first time.

I pause and whisper, "You're hurt."

"What?" He casts me a perplexed look. "No, I'm not."

"Yes, you are. Turn around." He sighs and does as I say, turning his back so it's facing me. I gasp when I see that he's been severely bruised. And from the looks of it, these bruises haven't been there for long. They look like they've been inflicted on him since last night. "What the hell..."

Jax, noticing that I've gone pale from staring at his bruises, quickly jerks away. "It's nothing. I've been training with Julian a lot lately. You know this season's prelims are just around the corner. That bastard's just been working me up more than usual, that's all. Don't worry about it."

I gulp as he kisses me on the lips one more time before turning his heel and exiting the gym. Just as Jax is gone, Julian reappears from the locker room in a fresh set of clothes. Before I can rethink my decision, I blurt out, "hey, Jules. When you and Jax train, did you ever hit him in the back? Repeatedly?"

Julian stops at his tracks and stares at me blankly. "What the fuck? What kind of question is that?"

I can't even offer him a valid explanation. "I'm just curious."

"No. I've never done that before," he says, now walking towards me. He folds his arms across his chest and looks at me with intense curiosity. "Why?"

"Nothing," I say quickly. "Do you by any chance also know if he fought outside of UF gym or the underground circuit? Like does he fight out of the ring?"

"Not to my knowledge, no," he says. "Shouldn't you know all this stuff? You're his girlfriend."

I look away, embarrassed. He's right. I should know all these things. And yet, I'm kept hidden in the dark. And I have to resort to asking other people about my own boyfriend behind his own back to get myself some answers.

Somehow, it makes me feel dirty.

"Yeah, I know," I say with remorse. "But I'm not so sure if that's the case anymore."

"Then, ask him yourself. You shouldn't ask me. As you can tell by the arguments we've been having, I highly doubt he trusts me anymore."

"I've asked him about it but he doesn't tell me anything..." My voice trails off. I shake my head and clear my throat. "Nevermind. It's stupid. I won't bore you with this."

"That's a relief. You're awfully boring lately."

Oh hellllll no. Nobody calls me boring.

I flip him off. "Screw you."

A grin appears on his face. "Ah, that's the Sienna I know and love."

"Aw, Jules, was that a love confession?" I place my hand above my heart and bat my eyelashes. "That's really flattering but sadly, I don't see you that way—"

"Oh, shut it you," he mutters. "At least Jax didn't completely break you. Your sarcasm is still intact."

What is he talking about? I place my hands over my hips. "What do you mean Jax didn't completely break me?"

"Don't think I haven't noticed you being more quiet lately. And you looked really stressed out too for some reason," he tells me. "Can't possibly be school because you graduated. And I highly doubt it's family problems. You've had them since you stepped foot in here so it's definitely not that. Something's going on with you and Jax, right? That's why you're asking me all these weird as fuck questions."

I hesitate. Should I tell him?

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to. I wish I can say I care about what happens to the both of you but sadly, I don't. And you want to know why?" He asks and I shake my head. "It's because I know it won't last. You guys are toxic for each other."

I feel slightly offended. I'll give him credit for being brutally honest about our relationship but he doesn't know me or Jax well enough to make those kinds of prediction.

"Look what he's doing to you, Sienna. He walks all over you and you just let him," he says, anger clearly evident in his voice. "You're asking me questions about your own boyfriend when you should be asking him instead. Which means he's keeping secrets from you. Which means, he doesn't trust you. Which means, maybe you're not as important to him as you think you are."

"That's so not true!" I say, defending Jax. "He loves me—and I love him. He made me strong—"

"Strong? You think he made you strong?" He says out of disbelief. "Trust me, he didn't. You were strong on your own. You just didn't realize it until you met him," Julian says with a sigh. "Don't let him do this to you, Sienna. Stand your own ground. If anyone can do that, it's you."

He murmurs, and before he leaves, he stops and adds. "Jax always said you were a hurricane. Then, prove it and rain hell over him."

* * *

I can't believe I just got my ass handed to me by Julian.

The words he just uttered to me a few hours ago refuse to leave my thoughts. A part of me hates him for saying that to me, but another part of me knows that he's right. Down to the T. It just makes me even more confused about what I am supposed to do.

I want it to work with Jax. I really do. I'm so deeply in love with him that I'm willing to do anything to make sure that we can make it. But after hearing what Julian said to me, is it even possible to save this relationship at this point?

I have too many questions. Too many doubts. And not enough solutions.

For the first time in a while, I feel lost again. Truly and utterly lost. I swore to myself that I never wanted to feel like this again, and here I am, completely overwhelmed with indecision and my sense of direction lost.

All I want to do is talk to someone about it. But my options are severely limited, and even if I do have someone I can spill everything unto, I don't think I'll like the advice that I'm going to get.

Pushing all thoughts aside, I fiddle with the doorknob of the house and step into the living room. I'm mentally and physically drained, and all I want to do right now is to take a nice, long bath to clear my mind. As I pass the kitchen, I hear an all-too familiar voice call my name and I groan.

"Sienna!" My dad's newest fiancé, Renee, is sitting on one of the kitchen counter chairs—the exact one that my mother once used to sit on everyday during breakfast—when she beckons me over, a huge expectant smile plastered on her face. "Hey!"

I can't deny that Renee is awfully pretty for someone her age. With bold, fiery red hair and green eyes to match her fair complexion, it makes me wonder how the hell did someone as stunning as her ended up with my dad.

"Hey," I say with much less enthusiasm. I don't enter the kitchen, nor do I have any intentions to. Please let me take my bath in peace, I pray silently. "I'm gonna go up—"

"No, wait! Please don't go yet. Stay." The crinkles near her eyes run visible as she casts a beaming smile at me. "We should talk more."

I beg to differ, I think to myself.

I have no intentions on being all buddy-buddy with Renee. Don't get me wrong, she's probably a really nice person—and a really good person to with all the charities she's helped fund with the wealth that she'd acquired over the years—but I've already sworn allegiance to my mom and I will not disrespect her and her marriage with my dad by cozying up with his latest bitch. His last marriage was a complete failure; I have no doubt this one will have the same fate.

"Come. Sit." She pats on the stool besides hers and I have no choice but to oblige her. Ignoring her at this point would be rude. Not that I care about what she thinks of me, but I've always thought of myself as a bitch, not a rude bitch. There's a huge difference. "How was your day?"

I begrudgingly slide into the seat that she offered and place my gym bag on the counter top. "It was fine."

"I heard from your dad that you do kickboxing. That's pretty interesting."

"Yeah."

She shifts uncomfortably. "So, how are things going with your boyfriend?"

"Okay."

"Really?" She says, trying to drag on the conversation that's already starting to die off. "You really got nothing to share? Maybe I can help."

I really don't think you can. And I don't want you to help either.

Instead, I hold my tongue. "Nothing."

"I heard he fights in illegal fighting tournaments..." Her voice trails off. "Isn't that a bit dangerous?"

"Yeah. It is."

She pauses for a while, then says carefully, "Don't you think it's dangerous to be associated with him?"

My eyes widen. I certainly did not expect that. "Excuse me?"

"I'm just looking out for you, Sienna," she says in a low tone. She's swirling her cup of coffee around, refusing to make eye contact with me. "Maybe you should think about reconsidering your relationship with him—"

She's gotta be joking, right? I huff out a breath out of disbelief.

She clears her throat. "I know you and I don't really know each other yet, but I'm getting married to your father in a few weeks, and I just want to look out for you—you know, be somewhat of a mother—"

I choke on a laugh. "No offense, but you'll never be my mother. Ever. I don't care if you're getting married to my dad. That'll never happen."

Hurt crosses her eyes. "Perhaps I shouldn't have come on too strong—"

"Yeah. Perhaps." I grab my bag and loop it through my shoulder. "Since you've decided to grace upon your wonderful wisdom on my life, maybe I should do the same. A word of advice: don't tell me who I should and shouldn't date. You'll never be close enough to me to ever take on that kind of role."

Renee stares at me, her mouth gaping open, completely shocked.

"And I'm sorry but we'll never be mother-and-daughter. You won't last long enough with my dad to build that kind of relationship with me," I say as I grab my bag from the counter top and loop it through my shoulder. I hop down from my seat." And even if my some miracle you do, I won't want to have that kind of relationship with you either. So I think it'll be best if we just talk to each other only when we have to and not stick our noses into each other's businesses. Okay?"

She merely blinks at me.

"Good. It's nice to meet you, Renee." I wave to her before exiting the kitchen and walking up to my room.

* * *

I'm not surprised when my dad comes bursting into mine and Beth's room two hours later, his nostrils flaring. "Sienna. A word. Now."

Beth, who's sitting on her bed, typing something on our laptop, stops what she's doing and takes her earbuds off. She takes one look at my dad then looks at me worriedly. I merely shrug. "I'll be back."

I get up from my bed and follow dad as he ushers me inside the guest room. He turns on the light and shuts the door. Then, he faces me, his rage more evident now than before. "What the hell did you say to Renee? She's been really upset ever since I came home and I know you have something to do with it."

"Why me? Why does it always have to be my fault?" I ask him, folding my arms across my chest. "She could be going through menopause or something. She's certainly old enough for it—"

"Don't play games with me right now, Sienna. I mean it. What did you say to her?" My dad takes a step forward, a stern look on his face.

"Nothing! I only said we shouldn't talk to each other!"

"Why?"

"Because she tried to stop me from dating Jax, which she is in no position to do!"

"So what? I've been trying to tell you that for so long now! And you don't listen to me!"

"Exactly. And you're my dad," I spit at him. "She's a stranger. A stranger that met only a few months ago, porked a few times, and thought, 'hey. I might as well put a fucking ring on it. It's not like the both of us getting any younger!'"

From the murderous look on dad's face, I can tell I didn't make things better.

"You and I both know that you and her aren't ever going to last. So I'm not going to stick around while your soon-to-be third marriage crashes and burns," I tell him, my voice sharp and steady. "She is not my mother. And she will never be my mother. Tell her to stop acting like she is."

"She's only looking out for you—"

"I don't care! I already have a mother. But she's not here anymore because you left her!" I yell. "You left her and she couldn't stand you and she's on the other side of the world because of you! So excuse me if I don't approve of Renee, or any other past and future bitches you bring home ever since you divorced mom because if you're not going to try and work things out with mom, why the hell should I with any of these women?"

"Hey!" My dad yells. "How dare you say I didn't try to work things out with your mother—how dare you disrespect me like that—"

"Because you don't deserve any of my respect!" I scream back.

"You're so difficult, you know that, Sienna? So fucking difficult!" He explodes, his fingers raking through his hair out of frustration. "Sometimes, I just wish..."

"What?" I ask, prodding at him. "What? What do you wish? Tell me!"

"Sometimes, I wish you weren't my daughter!"

The world is at a standstill, and time freezes. I open my mouth to speak, but no words flow out of me. All the bones in my body lock up and I'm stuck in place, letting those six words impale me like knives.

I wanted him to be angry, but I never thought he would ever say that. And I never thought it would hurt me this much. Because it does. Those six words have done more damage to me than anything else; it killed my cells, broke my bones and ripped my heart wide open.

Once the realization that he just said the worst thing possible sets upon my father, he immediately shakes his head. "I didn't mean that. I take it back. I didn't mean what I said—"

"Oh, I think you did," I whisper.

"No, Sienna, I'm sorry, no—" He tries to reach for me but I sidestep him.

"Don't touch me," I hiss. "Don't ever touch me."

"Sienna, I'm sorry, please..." Tears swim in his eyes as he croaks out. "I didn't mean it—"

"No, you only spoke the truth. Now, I really know how you feel about me," I say quietly as I make my way towards the door. My dad tries to block my path but I push him out of the way. "I think it's also best if we don't talk to each other for a while."

"Sienna—"

"Don't. The damage is already done." I shake my head and turn around to walk out of the room, but not before the hurt bursts open from within me and the tears start flowing down my cheeks.

* * *

A/N: LOOOOL SORRY GUYS FOR THE SUPER LONG HIATUS OFF OF WATTPAD. I FELT LIKE I DROPPED OFF THE FACE OF THE EARTH FOR LIKE TWO MONTHS.

I'VE BEEN SUPER BUSY PREPARING FOR MY UNI EXAMS, WHICH I'M OFFICIALLY DONE FOR. IT'S SUMMER TIME FOR ME YOOO YAYYYYYY

Anyways, I can't promise consistent updates but I WILL try my very best to finish this book! 

I'm very active on social media (Instagram, Snapchat & Facebook) so hit me up if you have any questions!

But so far, the most recent ones I've been getting is:

(a) Are you joining the Wattys this year?

No, sadly! I don't have any work of mine (that hasn't already won an award too) that I really want to enter. I was supposed to get Bite done in order to join this year's Wattys but that ain't gonna be happening anytime soon. But I really do urge anyone who wishes to join to take part! It's a fantastic opportunity to make new friends, socialize with people running for awards and it's great exposure too!

(b) Are you going to write Bite?

Yes. Hopefully soon. I have a decent amount of free time now and part of the reason why I haven't posted on Wattpad for a while is because I've been experiencing MAJOR writer's block. I need to get my inspiration back so I'll be doing a lot of reading AND writing in order to get the ball rolling again. But expect some great things soon.

That's all for today guys! See you guys soon!

Love, Claudia.