"Let. Me. Go."

    I struggle against Damien as he pulls me out of the pub through the back exit. I attempt to wrestle myself off of him, but his grip on me was iron strong. Fuck him, I curse at him mentally. Fuck him and his strong arms.

    "Not until I'm done with you," he spits at me.

    He throws me down on the gravel and I land with a loud thud. When I scramble back up, I realize I'm surrounded by men, some of them whom I recognize from the night when Damien tried to have a go at me, but they pulled him back. Now, they're caging me in, Damien in the middle, his smirk so huge that it looks like it's about to break his face.

    And if that smirk doesn't, I will, I think to myself as I glare daggers at him.

    "I'll call the cops on you," I growl at him, fishing for my phone in my pocket but start to panic when I realize it's not there. When I look back up, I see Damien dangling my phone from his hand.

    He casts me another smirk and flings the device behind him. I cringe when I hear the sickening crunch of my phone plummeting to the ground.

    I groan. "Come on, man. That was expensive."

    "Fuck the phone," he hisses, stepping closer towards me. His eyes look mad—mad with rage. And I'm pretty sure me and Jax put it there the moment we pissed him off during the prelims. "You embarrassed me after the prelims. Everyone saw it. I can't even be taken seriously anymore."

    "And that's my fault? All I did was called you out on your stupid lies." I snort. "God, you're so petty. Holding grudges over something as small as that. Your followers must be so proud." I smile at some of them. They sneer back at me. Come on, I was just trying to be nice. "Is this what you do on a daily basis? Try to bully and scare girls who dare to question you?"

    "Pretty much, yeah." He shrugs. "Only you seem to be the most annoying one of them all."

    "Yeah, I get that a lot," I say. "Look, bro. You got some serious issues. My advice? See a therapist. Nothing beats having to talk things over with a complete stranger. You know, get them feelings out. I'm guessing you've been holding it in for so long now, shoving them deep inside of you, like your balls."

    "Careful now, girl," he sneers.

    "Or what?" I say out of annoyance. "You're going to kill me? Oh, dear. Please spare me! I'm so scared of you I'm practically shitting myself now!"

    "You should be," he says and takes out a knife from his pocket, then pointing it right at my neck. I stiffen and see the satisfaction of my fear climb up Damien's face. "Or I will carve out your fucking face and give it to Jax as a gift."

    "What the fuck is wrong with you?" I demand. "Why are you doing this?"

    "Revenge," he sneers.

    "It was one month ago. Get the fuck over it," I sneer back at him. "You lost, Damien. Your ego and your championship. Get that in that brainless head of yours, you fucking dipshit."

    "She's right, you know." I breathe a sigh of relief when I hear Jax's voice. Everyone turns to him when he materializes from the back exit, looking bored and annoyed as ever. "You are a fucking dipshit. Even the normal kind of shit is jealous of you."

    Damien quickly grabs me by the neck and whirls me around so that my back is against his chest and he's digging the hilt of his knife right where my vein lies on my neck. He growls as Jax approaches him, confident and bold and brave, like any other night when he emerges from the hallway and into that ring where he belongs.

    "Stay where you are," Damien spits, turning the dagger. I wrestle against him once more but he's too strong. And even if by some miracle I manage to escape his grasp, there's no guarantee he won't plunge that knife through my aorta first.

    "You hurt her and you're a fucking dead man," Jax sneers.

    "I don't want to hurt her. Not unless you give me what I want."

    "I don't bargain with cunts like you."

    "You don't really have a choice, do you?" Damien says, pressing the knife further into my skin. I feel the tip prick me. I clench my fists. "There's only one way I'll be respected again and it's only if you forfeit."

    "What?" Both Jax and I say at the same time.

    "Forfeit your place, Deneris," Damien says, sterner this time. "You forfeit, I move on to the finals. Simple as that."

    "Not a fucking chance." Jax almost laughs.

    "Have it your way, then," Damien says, and I feel pain slice me up as the dagger digs further into my skin. I look at Jax with utter panic. What the fuck am I going to do? I'm helpless, fucking helpless—

    No, I'm not.

    I try to remember what Jax taught me when he was teaching me defense techniques. If your opponent has his arm over your neck from behind, his arms and upper body are locked, he said. But he's not going to pay attention to his legs.

    With that in mind, I take a deep breath. I can do this, I reassure myself. I can do this I can do this I—

    -Lift my left foot and slam my heel into Damien's shin.

    With a loud cry, he immediately releases me and clatters to the ground. All hell breaks loose. All of Damien's men get into action. Some of them head towards me, others going for Jax, who looks ready as fuck for a good fight.

    I can't pay any attention to him. My eyes are focused on Damien. Before he can regain his stance again, my fist makes contact with his face. He grunts and tries to shield his face by crossing his arms over it but before I can land another punch, someone yanks on my collar and pulls me back.

    "Bitch," my attacker sneers, spitting at my face.

    "Yuck. So not moisturizing for my skin," I grunt out, wiping his spit off of me.

    The man howls with anger and aims for my face but I block it easily, exactly like how I blocked Jax's many hits during our training sessions together. Thank god they're finally put into good use, I think to myself.

    I don't see his next hit coming though. He kicks me from the side and I double over with pain. Fuck, that's gonna bruise. I try to get up but he slams his foot down over my back. Fear strikes a chord in me when I try to use my elbows to heave myself up but I'm constantly being pushed down. An excruciating sound of pain emits from me and just when I'm about to give up—

    A huge force pushes my attacker off me. When I turn my body over so I'm no longer facing the ground, I see Jax pound his fist on my attacker's body. A few on his ribs, another on his chest and a quick one to the side of his face, sealing his fate. His head hits the ground, unconscious.

    He's not done yet though. The remaining of Damien's men come after him. Not one by one like how I imagined it to be. They came all at once, which made it even scarier. But Jax doesn't falter—he never does.

    All at once they came after him, all at once they fell.

    Hit after hit after hit seals their fate, each man's head not touching the ground yet before he goes after another one. They crumble to the ground like ashes when rubbed between your fingertips—delicate with certain kind of grace.

    "Jax," I breathe.

     I heave myself up and reach for him but his back is turned towards me. He doesn't hear me.

     All of Damien's men are on the ground—all except Damien. The man doesn't give up; he stumbles as he stands up, a twisted smile playing on the edge of his lips as he lifts his face to look at Jax.

    "Get up," Jax hisses. He grabs a fistful of Damien's shirt and pulls upwards so that Damien is on eye-level with him. "Get up. You fucking piece of shit."

    Damien merely casts him a crooked grin. He looks tired—as if he knows he's going to lose this battle and he's fully prepared get his face fucked up by Jax.

    "This is for laying a fucking hand on her—" Jax strikes Damien with an uppercut to the jaw. He tumbles to the ground, coughing out blood. Jax isn't even done. "And this is for threatening her—" His fist collide with Damien's cheek. Damien grunts out of pain. "And this—" Jax rams his other fist straight into Damien's chest. I hear the sound of bones cracking and cringe."—Is for thinking that even for one second, I would ever consider your piece of shit blackmail."

    Jax continues to torment Damien—with his fists, his elbows, his legs. He leaves Damien no time to recover; every single blow he gives, Damien takes.

    At the rate that Jax is going, he's going to kill him.

    Jax is many things—ruthless, rogue, mean, merciless—but he is not a killer.

    Is he?

    "Jax," I place a hand on Jax's shoulder. "That's enough."

    Jax shrugs my hand away and I take a step back, hurt. He doesn't stop hitting Damien. I'm starting to panic. "Jax, please," I beg. "He's going to die."

    "He fucking deserves it." He rams another fist onto Damien's chest. Damien's no longer moving. His eyes are closed and his head falls to the side and he's no longer moving—

    "Jax, stop!" I try to pull him off of Damien but he's too strong for me—too strong—and my heart is slamming so hard against my chest, every beat matching every hit Jax makes, and I can't let him do this, I can't let Jax kill him, no I can't—

    "No mercy," he sneers. "No mercy. Give everything, take nothing—"

    "Jax, please stop!" I kneel down alongside him and press my hand against his cheek, pleading him. "You're going to kill him!"

    He ignores me. "No mercy, give everything, take nothing—"

    "Stop this! Stop this now—"

    "No mercy—"

    "Jax—"

    "No mercy—"

    "JAX, PLEASE!" I cry out, tears streaming down my eyes. "PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, STOP!"

    Finally, finally, Jax snaps out of it. His fists unclench and he stands up, still looking down at the unconscious body. I rise from the ground and cradle his bloody face in my hands, trying to search for answers—for anything familiar—but all I see is hunger. Hunger for that man's blood.

    "Jax..." My voice trails off. "Jax, please—"

    "Get away from me." He whacks my hands away from him and starts stalking away.

    I open my mouth to speak but I hear footsteps approaching the back door. I can't be seen here. And neither can Jax. If we get caught, we'll end up in jail.

    So I run after Jax, the sound of my shoes hitting against the ground echo in my ears before I let the nightmarish screams and police sirens come to haunt me.

* * *

    The entire care ride back was silent, even after we dropped Braydon off. She noticed that the both of us were caked in bruises and blood, and she knew what had gone on that caused us to turn out like this. But she didn't say anything.

    To be honest, I was relieved that she didn't. I wasn't in the mood to explain everything to her. I made sure to send her a text, saying that I'll tell her everything tomorrow.

    When I was done, I look over at Jax. He hasn't said a word to me ever since we left the pub. He hasn't said anything to explain to me what the fuck did I just witness. He hasn't even defended his actions.

    I don't deny that I love watching him fight. But there's a limit—there has to be—to how much pain you can inflict on a person. If there isn't, we'll all go insane.

    And I think I've just witnessed a glimpse of that insanity when I saw Jax beating Damien Wellington almost to his death.

    He would have died if I hadn't told Jax to stop.

    He would have died.

    I'll never forget that. Just like I'll never forget those murmurs...

    No mercy. Take everything. Give nothing.

    What the fuck was that all about? It sounded like a chant—words he lived by everyday. It sounded so twisted, horrible, inhumane; it made my skin crawl and fear to sink deep into my bones.

    I've seen him fight countless of times in that ring. I've seen him spar with Julian and I've seen him spar with me. Never once have I seen him look like how I saw him when he beat those guys up.

    Barbaric. Vicious. Murderous.

    A savage.

    "Stop the car," I demand.

    Jax turns his head briefly and casts me a puzzled expression. "What?"

    "I said stop the fucking car."

    "We're in the middle of the goddamn road-"

    "Pull over."

    Jax heaves a heavy, annoyed sigh and does as I say. He pulls over on the side of the road and cuts the engine.

     "Sienna-" He starts off.

    "You almost killed him," I say quietly. "You would have if I didn't fucking tell you to stop—"

    "Jesus Christ," he swears. "Look, can we talk about this tomorrow—"

    "No!" I raise my voice and turn to him, my eyes snapping at his. He holds my gaze and he presses his lips into a thin line. "I don't want to talk about this tomorrow. I want to talk about this now. What the fuck did I see just now, Jax?"

    "I don't know!" He says, clearly exasperated. I really don't think he knows exactly what I'm mad at him about. "You tell me. You were there!"

    "You almost killed a man!" I yell at him. "If I didn't stop you, you would have!"

    "Oh, don't you fucking tell me that Damien didn't deserve it," he scoffs. "He had a knife against your damn throat!"

    "Come on. You and I both know I wasn't in any danger," I tell him. "He was just a desperate ass bitch who wanted to scare you."

    "He threatened what was mine!" He growls. "Mine. You are mine, Sienna. And fuck, I don't care if I'm a possessive son of a bitch when I say that. You belong to me and I belong to you. Simple as that. If someone fucking dares to threaten that, fuck yeah I'll do whatever it takes to make that fucker pay!"

    "Oh and you think you'll do that by killing him?"

    "I wasn't going to kill him—"

    "Really? Because it looked like bloody murder to me!" I scream at him. Jax doesn't seem fazed by it at all. He just stares at me, eyes narrowed. "And it would have been just that if I didn't tell you to stop! How many times has that happened before, Jax? Have you killed anyone before?"

    "No!"

    "But you've come close to killing haven't you?" I press him further.

    "Sienna—"

    "Answer me."

    "No, I will not."

    "What?" I ask, utterly baffled.

    "I said no, Sienna," Jax says again, harsher this time. "I'm not talking to you about this. I'm not talking to you about anything—"

    "Excuse me?" I'm so taken aback that I just stare at him, mouth gaping open.

    "I don't have to explain everything to you," he snaps at me.

    "You don't—what?" I say, confused. Does he not get how a relationship works? "I'm your damn girlfriend! I think I deserve to know what the hell is going on—about this, about that stupid chant you did while you were trying to murder him—"

    "No, Sienna." He shakes his head. "Yes, you are my girlfriend but that's some whole other shit I'm sure as hell ready to tell you yet."

    "You can't—you can't just keep me in the dark about this, Jax!" I yell.

     He just ignores me and turns the engine of the car on, clearly wanting to cut this conversation off.

     I place my hand on the steering wheel and force him to look at me. "Jax."

    He mutters something under his breath, something about it not being his real name, which makes me even more confused.

     "Jax," I say. "Talk to me, please."

    "What is there more to say, Sienna," he sighs. "I'm standing my damn ground about this. I'm not ready to talk to you about what happened. Just leave it alone."

    He doesn't understand, does he? How can I leave it alone if I just witnessed something that my mind can't even comprehend? I need to know—need to know what that chant was all about—what other shit he's done—if he's killed or harmed anyone to that extent outside the ring. I don't know what's up with him, and I have a feeling it's linked to some deep history of his that he's not willing to share with me.

    "Then, tell me, Jax. When are we ever going to talk about this?" I fold my arms across my chest and cock my head sideways. "

    "Fuck, I don't know, okay? But definitely not tonight. My face is all fucked up, I'm tired, and I need to get you home," he says. "I'm really not in the damn mood for spilling out my feelings right now."

    "You're not up for spilling out your feelings ever," I say, dropping my head back against the head rest. "I've shared with you everything about me—every aspect of my life. You know every inch of me, inside out. But now... I feel like I don't know even the slightest fraction of you."

    "Nobody ever does."

    "Jax," I say his name, my voice a lot more softer this time. Jax doesn't look at me—he turns into my street and I know that I'm nearing home, but I don't feel like leaving unless this whole issue is over. "Jax, please. You need to tell me what is going on with you."

    "No, Sienna," he says flatly as he pulls over a few blocks away from my house. "Not now."

    I make an irritated sound at the back of my throat.

     I think I've just about had it with him tonight. I can't believe that I was foolish enough to get into a relationship with someone I barely even know. I can't believe I'm falling for a man who doesn't trust me enough to even give me a glimpse of the deepest and darkest parts of him.

     Just when I think I'm making progress with him, he shuts me out again—and this time, I'm not so sure how to pry them open back again.

    "And let me guess: not ever, too?" I say, rolling my eyes.

    "Fuck, I didn't say that—"

    "I think you made that abundantly clear," I say angrily as I get out of the car. "Goodnight, Jax. And don't even think about calling me to apologize about this. Because the only way you can make this better is if you're truthful with me. Which clearly you aren't and probably won't ever do."

    And I slam his car door shut and stalk back into my house.

* * *

A/N: I literally have no time for gifs in this author's note because I don't have my laptop with me and I'm flying back to U.K. in like an hour????

Ok I know I haven't updated this story for like a month and a half BUT IM BACK BITCHES AND READY TO ROLL AGAIN!

Sorry I've been on a hiatus! I've been really busy with uni stuff and also, I'm kinda working on Bite at the same time which is proven to be super fucking difficult (I'm already at my 10th draft for the first chapter and I still can't get it right like wtfff)

But yeah. That's a rant for another time. SO NOW YOU REALIZE THE CRACKS OF JAX AND SIENNA'S RELATIONSHIP IS GETTING REALLY VISIBLE NOW AND ITS ONLY GONNA GO DOWNHILL FROM HERE! MUAHAHAHHAHAA

I hope y'all still love me.

See y'all next next Friday!

Love, Claudia.