S I E N N A

    At midnight, all of us gathered by the patio to light up the sparklers.

    Eden made Blaire buy a crap ton of them for all of us to enjoy, and while it's definitely not something that's suited for adults, I found myself quite enjoying them. Every one of us received two—everyone but me because I had to hold Clarissa in my arms.

    When all the sparklers got lit up, everything looked so surreal. Flashes of gold and yellow burst bright, as if they were mini fireworks on sticks. Kayden whirled his sparklers around in circles, his eyes gleaming with excitement as he got to play with them. I laugh quietly at his absurd expressions, and Clarissa joined in.

    She seemed to be quite irritated that I didn't give her one, seeing as how everyone was having the time of their lives playing with them, so I kissed her forehead and traced her cheek, "Aw, don't be sad, Riss," I murmur to her, "you'll get to play them when you grow older. I promise you that."

    To lift up her spirits, Kayden decided to make a little performance with Daniel, Eden, Evans and Simon. Jax sat this one out, seeing as how and I quote him that 'he didn't want to embarrass himself.'

    Idiot.

    So the three guys did their elaborate performance; they did the wave with their sparklers, their hands moving about, twisting, then turning, then circling around each other, their sparklers taking flight with every single movement that they make. All the girls were laughing uncontrollably as they watch their boyfriends make complete fools of themselves for Clarissa. It's quite a ridiculous show, but it seemed to cheer her up so I guess it served its purpose.

    "That," Alex says, wiping tears from her eyes—tears that surfaced from laughing too hard, "was the best thing I've ever seen in my life."

    "Agreed," Cara murmurs as she grins at Simon.

"I couldn't even get you to dance for me," Brent moans at Evans. "And you're dancing for some chick now?"

"Look like that and I'll give you all the dances you want," Evans says, pointing to Clarissa.

    "We'll do anything for our favorite girl," Daniel says, smiling as he comes up from behind me to press a kiss on Clarissa's cheek. A small blush forms on the apples of her cheeks as she giggles from the gesture.

    "Ugrh. I hate that you have that kind of effect on everyone," Alex rolls her eyes, throwing her dead sparklers away. "Even with babies."

    "Yeah. Stop trying to woo my daughter," Kayden sneers at Daniel, the fatherly side of him exposed.

    "Can't help it. She already seems very smitten by me, isn't that right, Clare-bear?" Daniel says, his voice hitching as he points his finger at my baby. Clarissa giggles again—traitor—and grabs ahold of his finger tightly, never wanting to let him go. Alex scoffs, jealous that Clarissa has her husband's attention. "See? She absolutely loves me."

    "Come on, Clarissa," Kayden says, sweeping our baby into his arms and heading towards the doors. He stops, turns back and sends another deadly glare at Daniel, who seems to be really enjoying this. A lazy grin forms on his beautiful, sculpted face. "You and I are going to have a serious talk about falling for bad boys."

    When he disappears inside, Blaire places a hand on my shoulder and sighs, her eyes trained on the doors. "Kayden is just the cutest father ever," she says, then her gaze flickers to another direction and she rolls her eyes. "Just look at mine—he's hopeless."

    My eyes immediately rests on Jax, and a loud laugh escapes me when I see Jax arguing with Eden over who's going to have the last sparkler.

    I catch Blaire rolling her eyes.

    "Nah," I wave her off, then fold my arms across my chest. "He's not hopeless. He's going to great. Better than Kayden, even," I say with utter confidence.

    Her head turns to me, her grey eyes wide with curiousity. "How do you know that?"

    A soft smile forms on my face. "Trust me. I dated him. And he was the worst boyfriend ever," I tell her. My chin jerks to Jax's direction again. This time, he's no longer fighting with Blaire's brother. He let Eden have the last sparkler. Now, he's sauntering towards his girlfriend, his eyes glazing, his lips curling upwards at the sight of Blaire. "But now? Just look at him. Madly and hopelessly in love with you. It just comes to show that anything can happen, really."

    A small laugh leaves Blaire as she watches Jax come towards her. "I guess you're right."

    "Who's right about what?" Jax says, hooking his arm around Blaire and pulling her close.

    "Just saying that you're gonna be a great dad. Just like how you're a great boyfriend," Blaire says, snuggling against him.

    "Wow," Jax breathes. "That's a huge compliment. And I didn't need to force it out of you with sex this time." A slow grin forms on his face. "I am a good boyfriend, aren't I? The fucking best."

    I turn to Blaire and say, "you're lucky. At least you don't have a sister."

    She bursts out laughing.

    Jax groans at the subtle shade I just made towards him about him and Beth. "I thought we already put all of that behind us."

    "Yes, we did," I murmur, kissing him on the cheek quickly before heading towards the doors to find Kayden. "I forgive, Jax. And I forgave you over that. But I'll never forget it." I wink at him and turn my back on them, waving goodbye. "Goodnight guys. Merry Christmas."

* * *

    When I enter our bedroom to see if Kayden's there, I'm shocked to find it much different than the way I left it hours ago.

    The room is dimly lit—yellow spotlights are the only source of artificial lighting in here. Wax candles line all four corners of the room—along the drawers, on top of the fireplace mantle, along the windows and over the bed frame—all lit and their flames wavering about, making the room look like the night sky that's been splayed with winking stars. Rose petals and scented flowers litter the floor, giving the room a nice airy, diffused smell.

    And atop the bed perches Kayden, whose grey eyes I can find spot from miles away and find in the midst of the darkest black. He has his legs crossed, his lips pulled tight in a silly, knowing grin and his teeth visible, biting down on the stem of the darkest shade of rose I've ever seen.

    "What's this?" I say, closing the door and sauntering slowly towards him. I hover over him and link my fingers with his. With his other hand, he takes the rose from his mouth and holds it out to me, his eyes soft and warm, holding so many promises that despite me not knowing that they are, I know for certain that he'll have no trouble keeping. I take the rose from him and smile. I can't believe he hid this all from me. Placing it on the edge of the bed, I turn back to him. "What are you doing?"

    "I pulled in a favor from Jax," he murmurs, tipping my hands over he can kiss the back of both of my hands. I shiver in delight from the minute gesture. "He agreed that we desperately need some alone time."

    "But what about Clarissa?" I ask him breathlessly. "She's awake—"

    "Don't worry, Lucky. Blaire offered to take care of her for the rest of the night. Or at least until she falls asleep again," he says, his musky scent making my shoulder sag with relief with the familiarity of being this close to him again. "So that means..." He allows his voice trail off as he drags me closer to the bed. He unhooks his legs from each other and leaves them hanging over the edge of the bed and pulls me down so I'm sitting atop of him. I laugh and circle my arms over his neck, my face drawing closer to him until the tips of our noses touch.

    "...We have the whole night to ourselves," I murmur, a ridiculous smile forming on my face.

    Our eyes meet and hold, the intensity of his eyes burning right through me. I can see the pain hidden in them—pain of not being with me in the way that he's wanted for so long now. It's now I realize that I missed this all too much.

Between all the diaper changing and the countless nights of waking up at 3am in the morning to put an always-crying Clarissa back to bed, we've exhausted ourselves so much that we've barely any time for each other.

    I missed how simple it used to be—how it used to be all about us, being wrapped up and consumed with each other and never getting tired from it all. Often, I even ask myself if I would trade Clarissa to get our old lives back. Most of the time, I consider it. Just to have moments like this with Kayden.

    But now, I realize, I don't have to do that. I never need to choose. I can have both without having to sacrifice one or the other.

    Just like tonight.

    "I missed you," Kayden says as he lays me down flat on the bed.

He cages me with his body, his head dipping down to pepper kisses down from my jaw all the way down to the valley between my breasts, or as far as he can go without having to take off my shirt. I know he's not talking about missing my company. The slight crack in his voice suggests more than that—more ache, more desperation.

    "I missed you too," I say, arching my back so that he can consume my body with his lips.

My body responds to him in ways that I've never thought possible. We haven't even left our clothes yet and I'm already throbbing with undulated need. My breasts are heavy, desperately waiting for the attention it deserves and I clench my legs together, hoping to squeeze out the ache between them.

    "You know," Kayden whispers as he finally takes off his shirt and my dress along with it. He unhooks my bra and throws it away, somewhere off the bed where I hope won't catch on fire from the candles, "we've probably done this a hundred times over and I'll still never get sick of this. Of us. Every single time with you feels like the first time."

    I nod wordlessly, letting the words flow into my heart for safekeeping. His brush of his lips against mine causes me to whimper, a silent plea to do more, to love me in the way he always has in the past. He grins against my lips, his fingers brushing over my breasts, my nipples puckering under the rough callouses of his hands.

    "Two Christmases we've been together. Is it selfish of me to want a thousand more with you?" he says in a low undertone, his hands reaching down to slide off the panties clinging unto my hips—the last piece of fabric left on me.

    "That's impossible." I laugh, biting my lip as I watch Kayden undress.

He wriggles out of his jeans and underwear and hovers over me now in all of his naked glory. The sight of him like this is so powerful that an orgasm would have torn through me if it weren't for the fact that I didn't want to embarrass myself in front of my boyfriend after six months of abstinence. Instead, I attempt to hold it in, hoping to let the tension between them pass.

I want him to give me my first orgasm in six months. I'm not going to do it by myself again.

    "I know, but it wouldn't hurt to dream," he says, a breathy chuckle as he spreads my legs open and settles himself there. "I love you, Sienna. Sometimes, too much that my heart feels like it's about to detonate itself from those words alone," he rasps as the tip of him presses against me, flicking, teasing. Another whimper escapes me, one so loud that I've fairly certain whoever's residing in the room next to ours probably knows what we're doing in here. Noticing how my body reacts to him, Kayden chuckles, then fuses his lips with mine again, claiming me with a fiery kiss that sends all my nerve endings exploding and all of my bones shattering. "It feels like a dream—being with you."

    "Because I'm so perfect?" I murmur cheekily.

    "Because I never thought I'd ever deserve someone like you," he says, and with a wavering grin, he jerks forward and thrusts into me. I moan loudly, the heels of my feet digging into the mattress as he moves against me, his movements uncoordinated but fluid at the same time, his breaths coming out in short spurts.

    "You deserve me," I murmur, my hands clasping his shoulders as he rides me like the force of a wave—looming and all powerful. I cry out from under him, my eyes fluttering shut and open again with every thrust he makes, every kiss he bestows on my skin, every single touch of his fingers intensifying the unfathomable pleasure that we've both been denied for so long. His eyes lock with mine for the longest time, the infinite passion and love he has for me stark clear in his irises. His love for me never wavers; it's always there, existent and so overpowering and over consuming that it defies even life itself, immortalized within the depths of him. I press my hand against his cheek and whisper, "and I deserve you."

    Kayden's head bows down and his mouth parts open as his movements become more frantic and messy. Clinging unto his shoulders hard, I muster my energy to flip us over so I'm on top of him instead rather than him over me.

His eyes widen from my unplanned action, but he lets me do what I want with him. Resting his huge hands on my hips, he guides me up and down his cock, his head falling back from the pleasure that I'm giving him. I press my hands flat against his stomach to push myself upwards and fall back down—and repeat.

    Again.

    And again.

    And again.

"Say that you love me. And you deserve me," I whisper, driving down and pushing back up, this time picking up my pace. Kayden groans, a sound so beautiful to my ears, as he thrusts up just as I'm pushing down, intensifying everything and anything.

    My senses are dulled from the overwhelming pleasure of it all but I can hear his next words as clear as day, "I love you. And I deserve you. Each and every part of you—inside and out. And I'll make sure I spend the rest of my life proving it to you," he rasps with a thrust so huge that it drives me over the edge with an orgasm.

    I cry out and he follows after, spilling himself inside of me. Stars dance in the back of my eyes as I come undone before him.

    When it subsides, I collapse on top of him, my breaths harsh and uneven. He closes his eyes, as if he can't quite believe what just happened. Draping my leg over to hook onto his legs, I rest my head on his muscled chest, hair splaying all over, as a ridiculous smile forming on my face.

    "That was..." I say, breathing hard.

    "Amazing," he finishes my sentence for me, trailing a light finger down the curve of my spine. "Fuck, you have no idea how much I've missed this."

    "I've missed this too," I say, pressing a kiss on his broad chest. "It's not really the same when you have to do it alone in the bathroom after peeing because that's the only time you have from taking care of Clarissa."

He chuckles. "I understand completely. My left hand can only take so much."

A laugh bubbles out of me. "Awww, Kayden junior can't stand it without me, can he?"

    He groans at the mention of my nickname for his dick. I've never failed to tease him about it everyday."It's not—" He stops mid-sentence and sighs instead. "I don't even have the energy to correct you anymore."

    A quiet chuckle emits from me. I tilt my head up so my eyes meet with his. His face is coated with a thin layer of sweat and his eyelids seem to be dropping. Oh hell no, he's not doing this to me. We have the whole night to ourselves and I'm not going to let him spend it by sleeping.

"Tired already?" I ask him, making a tsk tsk noise by clicking by tongue while I shake my head. I know exactly how to push his buttons. So, I'm going to do exactly that until I get what I want. "You're getting old, Killer."

    "Excuse me? I've as fit as a fiddler," Kayden says, grey eyes blazing with offense.

"Uh huh. Sure," I say, sarcasm lacing my tone.

His lips are pressed into a thin grim line. "I'll take you again just to prove it to you. Right here. Right now."

I shrug. "No offense, grandpa, but I don't want you to break your hip—"

    "Don't insult me, Lucky," he mutters, lifting himself up with an elbow propped beneath him. His dark hair is disheveled, his musky scent tickling my nostrils. "I'm going to sex you up so good that you won't be able to walk tomorrow," he mutters.

    A coy smile dangles off my lips. "Is that a challenge?"

    "No," he growls, flipping me back over and covering my body with his again. I gasp at the sudden gesture, but can't resist smiling at his determination to prove to him just exactly how much he can do to me tonight. "It's a damn promise."

    And when he fills me up again—my legs wrapped around him as he plummets into me for the second time, then third, then forth—I can't help but think that this is quite probably the best Christmas ever.

* * *

A/N: I know ya'll were hoping for a Kayden chapter. I'm sorry to say that there isn't going to be one for this story. I initially wanted this chapter to be from Kayden's POV but I just couldn't seem to make it work. It didn't feel very right and I didn't want to force myself to do one just for the sake of my readers. I'm terribly sorry. I know I failed ya'll. I hope you'll forgive me.

Anyways, can you believe that the next chapter is going to be the last chapter? Gosh, time flies by so fast, I swear!

PS: I've been reading back on Perfect Illusion and I realize how CRINGY my writing was back then. I realize I could have done a lot of things better with that book. Well, what's done is done! I've learnt a shit lot since then and I hope my writing now reflects that!

See you guys on Friday for the FINAL chapter!

Love, Claudia.