WARNING: this book contains massive amounts of cringe. read at your own risk.

Hi!!! I'm Crystal Mayflower Sunflower Cornflower Rose, but my friends just call me Crystal!!!!

After having a super scary nightmare, I woke up in my room bc duh I'm here where else lol. My bed was giant, and the goose down pillows were soft to the touch. Off in the corner, a mountain of fluffy pink blankets and even fluffier stuffed animals nearly reached the ceiling. The room was at least 400 square feet, with a dresser and mirror positioned right in front of me with tons of make-up products and stuff on it, not that I ever use them.

Out of nowhere, I'm reminded of how much I hated being poor.

Getting up with a sigh, I went over to my bathroom. Looking in the mirror made me cringe. Golden hair free of tangles, soft red lips, flawless skin, thick eyelashes, always blushing cheeks, and sunset-colored eyes.

"God, I'm so ugly." I whined, trying not to cry at such a hideous sight. After taking a shower (with my hair drying naturally in seconds), I put on my clothes. I had a nearly endless selection, but today I went with a light pink dress, a white faux fur jacket, pink high heels that weren't even allowed in school, and diamond earrings.

Looking myself up and down in the mirror, I felt the urge to cry again. "My clothes are so emo and ratty," I complained, "people will never like me." And it was true. Everybody at school hated me. They never said why, but it was obvious it was because of my poor looks and clothes.

When I walked outside my room, my stepdad was waiting for me. The second he saw me, he slapped me and started screaming at me. "CRYSTAL, I HATE YOU SO MUCH FOR REASONS I CAN'T EVEN NAME!" He yelled, furious for literally no reason. I began sobbing as he slapped me some more before finally storming off.

Once he was gone, I stood up. All my injuries and pain were gone - or all my physical pain, anyways. I was always hurting on the inside, but no one ever bothered to notice :(

I walked out of the apartment and made my way outside, where a school bus was waiting right in front of the apartment building specifically for me. Everybody glared at me as soon as I stepped on it.

My thoughts wandered back to my mom as I found my usual seat in the back. Her name was Clara Daisy Tiara Princess Gale Jewel Rose. She was the only one that ever loved me despite my uglyness and emo attitude, but she dropped dead for plot reasons when I was three. I shouldn't even remember her, but she loved me so much I just defied science and ignored childhood amnesia. Also I have a photographic memory lol.

When we finally got to school, I was instantly shoved into three lockers. When I made my way to class, the teacher - Ms. Dodds - was handing out test results. On mine, she put a 0%, even though every answer was right. "Ms. Rose, put in effort next time."

"But I did"

Then she tried to kill me!

But I was so epic and amazing and glamorous that when I batted my eyes at her, she dissolved into nothingness.

Some boy showed up right after. He was super emo, like me. "Nice job defeating a Kindly One or whatever," he said. I grinned. He was totally into me. I could tell. "Oh and my name's Nico"

"I'm-I'm-I'm-I'm-I'm-I'm Crystal Mayflower Sunflower Cornflower Rose." I stuttered, nervous all of a sudden. I was totally into him, too.

All of a sudden, we melted into shadows!!1!

When we came out, we were by some trees. One tree, though, felt special. I walked towards it, Nico watching me from the shade because he's like a vampire and sunlight will burn him. Some bull man showed up out of thin air and tried to kill me too, and this time batting my eyelashes didn't work! So I pulled out my sword that I had this whole time. With one hit, the creature dissolved into dust.

It was so crazy that I blacked out.

When I arose, some boy was watching over me. I instantly fell in love with him instead. We locked eyes, and I knew he felt it too.

"I'm Percy," the boy, Percy, introduced himself. I giggled. "Nice name. I'm Crystal."

Once I said my name, we kept walking closer and closer together. "You're so hot, Crystal. Let's kiss," he said. "Okay." I nodded. We kissed. When we finally pulled away after an hour, some blonde girl was standing in the doorframe. "PERCY! HOW COULD U??" she demanded.

Ugh. Such a bitch. I thought. Percy looked just as annoyed as I was. "Annabeth, stop. We broke up two hours ago," he told her. She started wailing, yelling more and more. Because I was so traumatized, I stepped back and trembled.

All of a sudden, her fury turned on me. She marched over and tried to slap me. "STOP!!1!" I yelled, blasting her fifty feet away with lightning.

Some centaur guy, who'd been watching and rolling his eyes at Annabeth the whole time, looked awed. He stepped forwards, and all of a sudden a ton of kids in orange t-shirts just.. showed up bc yeah.

"All hail Crystal Mayflower Sunflower Cornflower Rose, daughter of Zeus and Hera, blessed by Aphrodite and all the other gods," the centaur guy declared. Everyone gasped.

My ugly perfect face scrunched up in confusion. "Daughter of Hera? My mom was mortal."

"No"

"Okay"

Another person stepped forward, some redhead girl. Out of nowhere, her eyes started glowing. Everyone gasped again when she put her hands on my shoulders and started to speak.

"Crystal Mayflower Sunflower Cornflower Rose
will go and do really cool things
She will venture into Tartarus
and other stuff idk
Crys scores a hot boyfriend
somebody gets jealous
And at the very end of her quest
she will realize she was the best."

It was so crazy that I blacked out.

When I woke up, I was in the Zeus cabin, even though I had no idea what the interior looked like. Percy was watching over me. Once he saw I was awake, we both kissed for an hour again.

"Babe I was so worried about you," he frowned. I blushed, rolling my orbs affectionately. "I'm fine, Percy."

His frown deepened. "Are you?"

All of a sudden, I started to cry. Percy moved to comfort me as I sobbed into his chest. "My stepdad hits me and my mom died and nobody likes me and I'm so u-u-ugly-"

"No you're sexy and I like you"

"Oh okay." I instantly cheered up.

Seeing me happy made Percy happy, because obviously his feelings are only relevant if they reflect my own. "Now you have to go on a quest," he told me.

"Oh okay. Will you come with me, my baby blue seahorse?" I nearly begged with a pout. I knew that he was the son of Poseidon because of our bf-gf mind reading ability (only true couples have it)

Percy grinned, not off-put by my weird and out-of-nowhere nickname at all because why would he be? "Of course I will."

we left the cabin and went out to decide who we'd quest with. Some randos kept saying I could only pick two people but bc I'm not a GATEKEEPER I chose more: Percy (duh), Nico, Leo, Piper, Jason, Hazel, and Frank. I knew about all of them because I also had the gift of omniscience but only on Tuesdays.

"OMG RLY?? TYSM!" Piper squealed, taking out a cellphone. "BABE, QUEST SELFIE RN!" A few million pics with Jason later and she was on a pegasus with him. Frank shapeshifted into a dragon for Hazel to ride. Leo hopped on Festus. Nico did.. smth idk

Annabeth, who'd just invited herself or something, was looking at me with a smug grin from atop a pegasus. "Haha you don't have a ride. Percy Wercy, ride with me?"

I resisted the urge to cry once more. Annabeth was so mean!! Instead, I focused all my energy into calling for an animal sidekick. When I opened my eyes, my super glittery pink adorable fearsome alicorn stood in front of me, neighing and making other animal sounds. Percy kissed my cheek. "You're awesome, babe," he told me, making Annabeth sob. I grinned.

We both boarded the alicorn (which could also turn into a jet if we wanted), flying off into the sunset (even though it was morning), ready to face whatever threat awaited us.

a/n: retching rn. god i hate myself why did i do this why did i write this why did i curse the world with this WHY
..anyways time to make part two