The satisfaction of a blade carving into her own skin , regardless of which manner , or which direction it moved , was painful , yet it filled the emptiness deep inside of her . Trash thrown outside , was all she felt . The sarcasm and witty remarks she used to build up her walls , the fake smiles that she gave everyone , were all gone , in the dark , at 3 am when everyone was sleeping, but her . Deep in the night , the only things that she was reduced to were left : pain , tears and blood . Her depression was the tiny fire inside of her , that started out so small , yet devoured everything in its path to spread hard , and fast 

" I have to be strong " She muttered to herself as she ran the blade again and again through her skin , reopening old scars and wounds , opening her past along with it . She looked at herself in the mirror  cursing and blaming herself for everything .
 She'd made a painting , named it : a figure of a feeble bridge . Surprisingly , she was good at painting , it only reflected her too much . She was just like a wooden canvas , she could break at any moment , and be messy , but still be okay . 

She was tired , of living , tired of life , after all , she didn't know her purpose , her meaning , and it all seemed useless , she would die eventually , so why not now ? Instead of just uselessly living , she could be roaming in the fields of asphodel or even Elysium if she was lucky . She wanted to end her misery , but was afraid of death . She felt like her 'purpose' would be unfulfilled . But who cares ? Literally .

She hopped in the shower , and washed up all the blood , to avoid any questions , and got ready, but didn't know why . To go to college ? But it was useless , she hardly paid any attention in the classes , and got bullied by Inez when noone was around . So really what was the point in life ? Once her 'purpose' would be fulfilled , she would sooner or later die . And what would she feel after that ? Nothing . 
Once she got ready , she sat down on her bed and opened her diary with feeble hands , which were fleshy and tanned once but now reduced to pale skin and hardly any muscle . 
She got her pen and wrote , to clear her mind and intentions . She wrote about the same stuff as she did daily , but this time ,in an attempt to come to a decision . And she did come to one , thee wrong one , suicide .  Why ? simply because why not . 

She made a plan . A good one at that . Noone would know she even died , well maybe except Nico . Se wrote all about it in her diary , revised it and made some backup plans . Once a daughter of Athena always a daughter of Athena . She even wrote some letters , being a bit thoughtful , one to each friend, she figured her death couldn't stay hidden forever .  She wanted to write one to Percy , spilling her guts out to him , and that's exactly what she did . because why not ? It went like this 

Perseus Jackson . 

Its funny , how a few months ago , I was thinking oh how I hate my last name . I wanted it to change , to match yours . Soulmates . Forever best friends , Lovers . 

Now , well I am , but not so much . Its true , 60% percent of my mind was always full of you , intoxicated by your salty , ocean-like scent , corny jokes , ocean eyes and that mischievious smile . It still is , but has now reduced to 50% . The other half by depression , suicide .

You probably blame yourself . Don't . Maybe i'm selfish , only thinking about me but i'm the one who's thinking of dying . If you're reading this , i'm probably dead . Don't be sad . Or maybe I shouldn't say that , knowing how i'd be bawling if it were you who was writing this . Heck I didn't eat when we broke up so I don't know what i'd do if you died ? Probably die to be with you .

So here's my confession , I love you . I fucking love you , and i didn't fall for you . You fucking tripped me . I love you so much it makes my head spin and hurt. I never thought i'd ever feel love like that , so powerful and pure it hurt .

I only wish it would have lasted longer . My only wish , is to die knowing i'm loved , especially by you . You and your love were my fuel of my heart all along .  But now that it run out , the heart had to stop .

If you are sad , don't let it take you down . Don't be sad forever . Because it was inevtable . Our love was a doomed one . But that somehow made it more special . Because while we were doomed , we were all the more beautiful.

I love you Percy Jackcson , i would shout it to the world if I could . But can't , so i just have to settle for writing it .

Please please know , every 'I love you' every song , every compliment , came right from my heart.

 I wish and I hope , on every star in the universe , i fulfilled my promises and made you happy , atleast when you were with me . I hope you'd be happy with her a build a life or even a family with her like you once hoped with me . I remember , that day on the Argo II in the stables . A life in New Rome ? 'Couples getting married and raising a family?'  I hope you get it .

 I want the best for you , I love you , even if you don't return it . If I die , I hope to go to elysium and opt rebirth . I just hope our love would have lasted longer and we would have lived a life together and died at a good old age with our kids surrounding us . Maybe then we'd live together and i'd not choose rebirth . That was the original plan right ? But I guess plans change , and we have to go with the backup one . I love you . 

I wanted to say these three words to you every single day , every morning when we'd wake up and at the most bizzare , crazy times . I love you

I wanted you to hold me in your arms and never let me go . I love you  

Wise Girl and Seaweed brain . I love you 

I hope you felt the same way , if only for a day or an hour . I love you

I hope you saw me in the same light as I saw you , with love . I love you 

All along we thought the fates were cruel , turns out they just have a sense of humor . I love you 

You were and always , always will be my forever , my infinity . You were my rock in my hurricane of troubles . I love you 

I love you Perseus Achillies Jackson . 

You know how I felt the world is too big , it became small once you entered , because you are my world . And yet , it's no less important. I love you 

I love you seaweed brain

With all my love ,
Annabeth Cristine Chase  

7 hours later

Annabeth was coming 'home' after a long day at college , tired as heck , not having eaten anything . Her 2 run-ins with Inez which had resulted in a kick on her thigh and one in her stomach . The college had a morning assembly , in which Inez played a song for Percy . She said she had a song which she wrote herself prepared for the next day . Annabeth was curious , as to what and how the song was , but ignored it . 
But of course , she just had to have one last run in with queen Bitch  before coming home , she was in a hurry , college had just ended . She hoped to see Percy one last time , of course he was with Inez . She just watched . She had a book in hand , but wasn't really reading . She was observing every single think about him . How he smiled , how his eyes sparkled and most of all , how he was just happy . Just as she was about to go , Inez excused herself and walked over . Annabeth wasn't expecting it at all . She was grateful for one thing , she couldn't hit her , not while Percy was watching 

" you won . You can have him "Annabeth whispered 

" thought so " she smirked 

" please just , treat him right . Don't break his heart . "

" like you did ?" 

Annabeth stayed quiet . If 16 year old Annabeth would have been there , Inez would have been long gone , but this was different . She was different . Sure, the old Annabeth was still in there somewhere but she didn't know where . She finally spoke 

" It doesn't matter . I'll be long gone by tomorrow . You could start your picture perfect life then" 

" Don't just go today . You can go tomorrow , after the assembly " Annabeth was definately not expecting this . But somehow she found herself nodding . After all , the curious part of her wasn't dead . Not yet . 

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An authors note will be published shortly :)