word count: 1k, give or take

!not edited!

(two updates in three days let's go)

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Life was so fleeting. 

It wasn't like it was a new lesson to Annabeth. She'd known from the moment she was told her mother was a goddess. The monsters started attacking. Her family couldn't handle the stress. Annabeth couldn't understand their fear.

"We will die if she stays," her stepmother had said, through the crack in the door. Annabeth stumbled back. 

"Why?" she'd asked her dad. He'd always said she was thirsty for knowledge. Like him. Like her mother. "Why?"

Frederick tried to hide his fear more than the rest of them. "Helen is only worried, Annabeth. You're. . .you're a bit like a beacon. You know what that is? You attract some bad things. Some scary things. Bobby and Matthew are very special to your stepmother. She wants to protect them."

"And me?" she asked.

"And I want to protect you," her dad said. "It's just. . .it's only hard, Annabeth, that's all. We'll figure it out."

Annabeth understood it then. She understood why they were afraid--not of her, not for her, but for what she could bring. By simply living, their lives were the tiniest bit more fleeting. The number of things that could take away life from her stepmother, half brothers, and father ticked up by one as long as she was around. 

Life was fleeting, and she was not wanted. So she left. She found people who were also like beacons but could live their fleeting lives in harmony. Unlike her home in Virginia, these people fought to keep life. Annabeth fit right in. Maybe she was even a little wanted. 

The biggest beacon was named Percy Jackson. His life was possibly the most fleeting of all. Sometimes it seemed as though death chased him. Others, he chased after it. 

He was incredible.

Annabeth's brain was always stronger than her heart. Her heart didn't listen. Her mind told her Percy Jackson was weird, her heart said it was a good weird. He was unnervingly good. Annabeth rejected the thoughts at first. Percy wasn't even close to being in the range of things she wanted and fought for. But then her mind was stronger, and it reminded her that life was fleeting.

They might not have forever. But Percy was like her. Maybe they could be good for each other, no matter how fleeting.

Another thing Annabeth learned: nothing came easy. Percy Jackson was certainly no different. It seemed the whole world was against them. And Rachel Elizabeth Dare was between them.

For a while, Annabeth's brain said it wasn't logical, it wasn't worth it. It wasn't worth it to hate a girl for something she couldn't help. It wasn't worth it to hate Percy for something he wanted. Her heart disagreed. Logic soon gave way to desperation, and they were in harmony. Both her heart and mind hated everything about this. She saw Rachel painted in gold, she saw Rachel smile at him, she saw the trouble beneath her green eyes. In a way, she was a little bit like Annabeth. A little bit like Percy. 

Annabeth hated her.

No, she thought, watching Percy, it's him I hate. 

"Annabeth? Are you even paying attention?"

She hated seeing his smile. She hated the way he rolled his eyes, the way his shoulders relaxed when he was closer to the water, the way he pretended to be okay.

"When's your birthday, Percy?"

His smile dimmed. "August 18th."

"Yeah." Annabeth leaned forward to wave a hand through the image of him. "Gotta go."

His brow was furrowed when the connection severed. Annabeth didn't mean to sit and stare at the place where he'd been for minutes afterward. They hadn't talked in so long, his birthday was coming up, and she could do nothing but push him away.

Because you hate him, her mind said. 

"No," she whispered. "I don't hate you, Percy. I don't."

If he was there, he'd tell her it didn't seem that way. Coulda fooled me. 

If she wasn't so desperate to fool him, she would tell him off. 

Annabeth didn't hate him. She hated that life was like this. She hated that Luke was so far gone and so many campers were dead and that there was a deadline hanging above her head that spelled certain death.

She hated that Percy Jackson had what might be months left to live and that he was choosing to spend them with someone else. 

She wanted to wonder what she'd done wrong. Why not her? Why couldn't they go to movies and study for exams and go to his house to say hi to his mom? Why couldn't they sit together and remember all the times they'd saved each other? Didn't those times mean anything to him?

They do, she thought. Just not the way they do to me. 

But she did understand. Annabeth always understood things, even when she didn't want to. Percy wanted an escape. Annabeth was his ticket back into the reality of his life, of their lives. Annabeth was the biggest reminder of what awaited him. Of why he should dread sixteen. 

Rachel Elizabeth Dare was a distraction. Rachel was pretend. Rachel would pretend for him, for her sake as much as his. They pretended together, and when the time came, Percy would be sixteen and it would be Rachel who'd gone to the movies and shared memories with him. Annabeth didn't hate them. She hated what they were doing to her without even knowing they were doing it. The burning in her chest every time he said her name. When she was promised Percy and there was Rachel, close behind. 

Annabeth hated something, so she had to stay away. Percy deserved to pretend. Annabeth couldn't do that for him.

This time--like so many other times--Annabeth would be the one to lose. Like she'd lost her innocence at seven, like she'd lost Luke at twelve. Maybe one day she'd get used to this cycle.

Life was fleeting anyway, she knew that already. 

a/n

ah, angst. my old friend.

thank you for reading and thank you for the requests last chapter! you guys never miss. hopefully i can write some of them!

also, i need feedback. what's the best day for me to update? friday? saturday? some other day entirely? if you had to choose a day to see updates from me, what would you pick? >

okay, bye :)

- grace 💙🍪💙