Chapter 19
When I wake the next morning, I pull back the curtains from my bedroom window and gaze out at the beautiful lakeside forest. A light mist has settled over Cantersard Lake with the rising dawn. Though I know that the winter morning air is cold, the water calls me. I quickly gather a fresh change of clothes and a towel and exit quietly out of my bedroom. The doors to the other rooms are shut, and as I tiptoe past the living room, I find Kesuk and Vasa still sound asleep as well. I am not surprised. I am sure everyone is exhausted after the excitement of the last few days.
As I walk down to the lake, a new sense of determination fills me. No longer do I feel that my mother and sister are leaps and bounds ahead of us anymore, nor do I fear their plan has a better chance of succeeding over ours. With Asteria on our side, we stand as a good of a chance as ever to dissolve the Magnuvian Empire. A smile tugs at my face as I think of what exciting conversation will await me when we begin our first strategy discussions as an expanded team later today.
Distracted by my own thoughts, it takes me a moment to realize there is another in the lake's water. I halt near the shore's edge just as Asteria rises from the water. I catch a quick glimpse of the beads of water running down her long hair and all too naked body before I let out a small shriek and spin around to afford her privacy.
"S-Sorry! I thought you were still asleep," I admit. I keep my back towards her and feel my face grow warm in embarrassment. How silly it is to feel this way now, when I have already seen every part of her. Though I long to sneak another glance, I hold my ground and fixate on the rocks and soil at my feet.
Asteria chuckles behind me, and the sound of moving branches alerts me that she has grabbed her towel. I turn around slowly, relieved she has covered herself now. She squeezes the water from her hair before letting her locks run down her back. Her cheeks are rosy from the cold, and the morning sun illuminates the golden strands of her hair.
I gulp nervously at the sight of her.
"Good morning," Asteria says.
"Good morning," I respond quietly. "How is the water? Cold?"
"Freezing," Asteria answers. "Nothing like the warm baths back home. However, it is good for clearing the mind, which I think will be helpful before our meeting today. I'm excited to talk strategy and get to know your allies better, both those here with you and afar."
"M-Me too," I stammer. I curse myself for continuing to act so flustered even now that she has covered herself.
"Do you want me to keep watch while you bathe?" Asteria asks. "I think the Magnuvian soldiers will begin to start work across the lake soon—"
"N-No!" I quickly shout. Asteria glances at me in surprise. "I will only bathe for a short while, and I have never seen the soldiers out this early in the morning. You should go ready yourself for the day. Besides, I am not sure Alba would not want you to spend so much time in my company."
Asteria rolls her eyes. "As if that has ever stopped me before." Her fingers just gently graze my shoulder as she walks past. I shiver, though the winter morning suddenly feels less cold. "See you later, then," she says.
I nod and turn back to the lake, suddenly craving its frigid water now that it feels like my body is burning up. I wait until Asteria is gone, then shed my clothes and hop into the cold lake. The icy water causes my hairs to stand on end, but it does manage to kill the remainder of my embarrassment.
Later, after I have bathed and eaten, I gather with the others in the living room. Arabelle and Alba's faces are twisted into sour expressions, but I can sense curiosity's in everyone else's faces, even Asteria's two guards. Asteria is the last to join us, but her apparent enthusiasm makes up for her tardiness. She smiles happily as she takes a seat beside us.
"My apologies," Asteria says. "I am still used to a longer morning schedule."
"You'll have to fix that," Vasa mutters.
I clear my throat. "So...shall we begin discussing both our plans for today and the days ahead?"
"Good idea," Asteria says. Her gaze shifts to Arabelle, who is seated in the chair beside her with her arms crossed in annoyance. In her hand, I see a sealed envelope. Asteria leans towards her. "Is this the letter to your parents?" Asteria asks.
Arabelle's grumble must mean yes.
Asteria glances at her guards. "And this was written under your watch?"
The taller, older guard with graying hair nods his head. "Yes. We kept watch as she wrote it this morning and ensured she did not switch the letter out with another."
The smaller, stout guard to his right nods in agreement.
"Great. I'll take that, then," Asteria says, snatching the letter from Arabelle's grasp and handing it towards her guard. She folds her hands together and glances at the rest of us. "Regarding today's schedule, I would like my guards to take Arabelle to deliver her letter and buy us some supplies. There is a town nearby, yes?"
Kesuk nods. "It is small, nothing more than a few shops and some vendors, but there's a post office and enough food sold there to sustain us."
"Princess, my money is limited," Arabelle argues.
"No matter. I will pay for the expenses," Asteria replies. "I will write you a list of items to purchase. It should not be any different than the errands you used to run for me back when you served me."
Kesuk clears his throat now. "Princess—er, Asteria. If I may, would you be able to have your guards deliver a few letters on our behalf as well?" he asks, presenting a hefy stack of parchment. "They are for my allies in Kilneu. I've been corresponding with them from afar since we've journeyed to Flumensia."
"Certainly," Asteria says. "I will have my guards seal it with the royal emblem of Magewell so that way it is less likely to be intercepted." She hands the additional letters over to her guards, then turns to face us once more. "Let's set our sights to the future, then, and discuss our plan for the coup."
"Do you have a date in mind?" I ask Asteria.
"I think it's too early to be thinking that far ahead," Kesuk cautions.
Asteria nods. "I presume by springtime; however, it will depend on how quickly my brother discovers I am trying to overthrow him, as well as whatever threats Fetia's mother and sister pose. If we were to march into Magewell now, we'd be slaughtered before we reached the castle gates. It sounds like you are gaining a good number of allies, yes?"
My gaze automatically tilts to Kesuk, who is much more attuned to our numbers than me these days. "We have close to two hundred allies spread throughout Kilneu now," he explains.
"That's a good start, at least," Asteria says. "I think finding allies continues to be a smart approach. We'll need the numbers to storm Magewell."
"What of those that can't travel?" I wonder.
"I think your initial idea could still come in handy," Asteria says. "The day of the coup, those who cannot make it to Magewell can stage their own rebellions in their hometowns. Of course, this all depends on growing our numbers and coordinating strategically. You say you have no allies in Flumensia, yet?"
I glance at Arabelle, who gazes off into the distance with her chin resting on her hand.
"None at all," I admit. "Though Arabelle did suggest some settlements to target."
"Well, I have to hope that now that I have joined you, it will be easier to gather allies," Asteria replies.
"It would be helpful if we could obtain some information about past rebellions so we know where to target," Kesuk says.
Asteria nods. "I can certainly gather that information."
"How soon?" I ask.
"I'll provide another letter for the guards to deliver to my staff in Magewell before they take off to town," Asteria says. "Though, I should warn...once Stephan discovers my treachery, I'll have to cease all contact with Magewell. We'll need to move quickly and wisely, obtaining as much helpful information as possible before word spreads of my involvement. That also means this cottage may not be able to house us long."
"Understood," Kesuk agrees. "We have already identified Kilkwood as our next area of interest to target allies, so we can be prepared to flee there. In the meantime, I have kept my letters brief and as vague as possible, but there is some explicit information about your alliance, and though you say you will add a royal seal, there is always the possibility those letters could fall into the wrong hands."
"It is a risk we must take," Asteria says. "Arabelle, give me a few moments to write a list of items for you to gather, and then my guards can accompany you to town."
"Of course, Princess," Arabelle says. She huffs but stands and bows all the same. I suppose her loyalty to Magnuvia has at least come in handy in some ways. Despite her annoyance with myself and the princess, she is still acting like a dutiful maid to Asteria.
In the early afternoon, Arabelle and her guards depart to town. As they leave, my stomach grumbles loudly for food. I meander to the kitchen, finding Kesuk and Vasa caught in some sort of squabble with Alba.
"Those vegetables are not properly washed," Alba snaps.
Vasa and Kesuk seem to delight in her annoyance. I watch from the hallway as Vasa grabs a presumably dirtied carrot and takes a bite. The chomp echoes loudly through the kitchen.
"It tastes fine to me," Vasa says.
I open my mouth to chastise Kesuk and Vasa about getting along with our new guests, but I can't deny that I delight in tormenting Alba a bit too. I quickly shut my mouth and smirk from afar, hoping no one has noticed my presence.
"These will not be suitable for the princess," Alba hisses. "If we are to cook together, there is a lot that you two will need to learn."
"Alba, pipe down," I hear Asteria grumble. I pause, not realizing she was in the kitchen with them. "My title will not mean anything soon enough. I am sure the salad that they prepared tastes just fine." She rounds the corner, coming into my view. Our eyes lock just briefly, and she grabs two plates of the salad from the table. "While you two work out your cooking differences, Fetia and I will be enjoying lunch outside."
I mouth a quick 'thank you,' and join her. Kesuk and Vasa shoot me a look of suspicion, but Alba begins tearing into them again about the standards of royal food preparation before they can scold me about spending too much time with Asteria.
Asteria hands me the plate, and our fingers just gently brush. I pretend not to notice, though electricity shoots up my spine. I thank her, and we find some rocks near the shore of Cantersard Lake to enjoy our meal.
"I hope that Kesuk and Vasa do not give Alba a heart attack," I say.
Asteria giggles. "She is not used to working with anyone but servants who listen to her every demand. It will take her a while to get used to your companions. For what it's worth, the salad tastes just fine. Though I'm sure Alba would grimace at the slightest speck of dirt."
I laugh again and take another bite. I steal a quick glance at Asteria, watching the way her hair moves softly in the breeze. Though my heart pangs at no longer being her lover, I am satisfied with the friendship we are trying to build. After all, it is so nice it is to have her in my life again. As much as I have been thankful for Kesuk and Vasa's company, I do not feel that either know me in the same emotional way quite like Asteria does.
After a moment of silence, Asteria speaks up. "Forgive me if this is rude, but I overheard Alba speaking to you yesterday about a man named Taika. I know he perished in the assassination attempt."
I avert my gaze, afraid tears may come to my eyes. "Yes," I say quietly.
"Was he your father?" Asteria asks.
"No," I say. I force myself to meet her gaze again. "He was a close ally of my mother."
"Ah..."
"But I feel that he could have been in another life," I murmur. Sadness washes over me in waves as I think of the last time I saw Taika. I wish I had hugged him tighter if I had known we would never see each other again. I have to turn my head away to prevent Asteria from seeing the tears forming in my eyes.
"So your real father..."
"He's dead," I answer. Her eyes widen. "I know I lied to you about many things, and I continue to be sorry for that, but I never lied about that. He perished in the conquest of Tabafaga when I was a child. He was the one who taught me to sing. The songs I carry in my heart are all I have left of him."
"I'm sorry," Asteria says sincerely. "My country has taken so much from you—"
"No. Stop," I say. "As if I have not done the same to you. Besides, I do not think I mourn my father like you mourn your mother. If anything, I resented him." I tremble slightly as the words leave my mouth. They are words I have barely been able to share with anyone, including my own sister.
Asteria's hand just gently rests over mine. I want to pull mine away, but I let her hand hover, savoring its warmth in the chilly winter air. "How so?"
"Perhaps my mother has always been the way she is. Perhaps she would have sought revenge regardless of whether Papa perished or not. But I fear much of the anger in her heart was due to his passing, and I blamed him for that for a long time," I say.
"It must have been hard for her to raise you two alone," Asteria says.
"Kiana and I were well-behaved. We always did what she told us. I believe we made her life easier in that sense," I murmur.
"I cannot begin to comprehend your relationship with your mother. It is clear she has hurt you, but as for the subject of your father, I do not think you are a bad person for feeling that way. His death negatively affected your life, and that is a lot for a child to reconcile with," Asteria says. "Either way, I am glad he helped gift you and your beautiful voice to the world."
She leans forward, and I fear she is going to kiss me, but her lips lightly brush my forehead instead. Her hand gradually lets go of mine, and she stares back off into the lake. I should scold her for showing me any sort of intimate affection, but I cannot deny how much I long to take her into my arms and kiss her senselessly. However, as I glance down at my plate, I remind myself how easily this plan could become flawed if I let my personal feelings take hold of me. So I hold myself back and murmur a quiet thank you instead.
"Asteria?" I ask.
"Hm?"
"Please do not repeat what I told you to Alba or Kesuk or Vasa for that manner. I have not had the courage to speak about my genuine feelings toward my father to anyone," I say.
"I suppose it is grand that I am good at keeping secrets, then," Asteria says with a smile.
Guilt fills me. "Are you sure you are comfortable here?" I ask. "It's not too late to return to Magnuvia."
"And become your enemy?" Asteria asks. She shakes her head. "I have made up my mind. I have told you already, I do not want to return to the confines of Esterpool. I feel I am beginning to experience real freedom for the first time." She leans down, undoing her shoelaces, and hobbles down from the rocks to the shore.
"You are going to get your dress wet," I warn.
"And you are no longer my maid, so you need not worry about the laundry," she teases. She wades into the water and lets out a sigh of relief. She stands in the water, gently feeling the cold surface with her fingertips, and my heart swells with love once more. I push my emotions downward, trying to think of anything else.
"Come join me?" Asteria asks.
I nod and set my plate down. I remove my shoes and tread carefully over the rocks, nearly tripping until Asteria steadies me with her arms. A chill runs through my body as the cold lake water brushes against my ankles.
"Thanks," I say. I grasp my arms and shiver some from the water. "As beautiful as the lake is, I cannot help but love the ocean more."
"I still would like to visit Landiani one day," Asteria says.
"I imagine you would not like the current sight of it."
Asteria frowns. "Once we instate me as queen, my first order will be to repair whatever damage we have caused to your country, especially Tetoa. I promise. And afterwards, I would like to go visit and see the hometown you have spoken so fondly about. Will you promise?"
"I promise," I agree. She extends her pinkie towards mine, and I loop mine around hers. I know if Vasa and Kesuk were here, they would be reprimanding me about making any sorts of promises with the princess, but thankfully, they are indoors, no doubt still locked in argument with Alba about cooking.
Just then, a ladybug lands on Asteria's hair. Its ruby wings contrasts against the star-like lightness of her locks. I reach out and gently grab a strand of her hair. She stiffens underneath my touch, then relaxes as I remove the ladybug from her hair and hold it out for her to see.
"It appears you made a friend," I explain.
Asteria chuckles. "I hope that is a sign of good luck for our plan, then."
"Me too," I say. I extend my hand, allowing the ladybug to crawl from my fingers to hers. She giggles at its touch and extends her finger. We both watch as the ladybug takes flight once more. Our eyes lock then, and I find myself leaning towards her almost automatically. I know I should pull away, but I fear I cannot hold back anymore. Besides, I figure there is no harm in the smallest kiss. My eyes shut as Asteria's head leans towards mine, but just as I feel the tickle of her breath against my nose, I hear Vasa in the distance.
"Hey! Arabelle and the guards are back!"
Asteria and I immediately break apart from each other. I stumble and nearly fall into the lake, but Asteria's catches me with a firm grasp before my body collides with the water. I right myself quickly and shakily turn to Vasa in the distance.
"Be there in a second!" I call.
My heart pounds in intensity, and I immediately rush out of the water, hoping Vasa could not tell how close we were to each other. I think of saying something to Asteria, but what would there to be say? And what was I doing, going against my own wishes and trying to kiss her? I curse in Landiani under my breath and brush the water dripping from my legs. Asteria quietly exits and begins reaching for her shoes. I look up, longing to apologize for whatever moment transpired between us, but my voice catches in my throat. I find I have no idea what to say.
Evidently, Asteria feels the same, because we quietly collect our plates and return to Arabelle's cottage, finding Arabelle and the guards have returned with baskets' worth of food and supplies. Asteria looks through the baskets eagerly, evidently happy with the turnout.
"The letters were delivered as well, Your Highness," her guard says.
"Thank you," Asteria says. "And thank you for your cooperation, Arabelle. I knew I could count on a former maid of mine to get the job done."
As much as Arabelle has sulked since Asteria's arrival, I can by her smile that Asteria's compliment satisfies her. I hope her loyalty to the princess will continue to allow her to cooperate with us.
"There is something you should be aware of..." Arabelle states quietly.
"And what is that?" Asteria asks.
"There have been rumors of some Landiani individuals passing through Flumensia—"
"Yes, I am well aware," Asteria says. "They were the same rumors that led me here."
"I am sure that was brought about by our arrival in Fehrbridge," Kesuk says. "Some guards quickly realized Vasa and Fetia were from Landiani."
Asteria shakes her head. "No, that cannot be right. You only arrived to Flumensia a few days ago, correct? These were rumors circulated to me a few weeks ago, far before Arabelle reached out to me."
I stiffen, realizing suddenly what such rumors must mean.
"Whatever the timing, I have additional information," Arabelle says, gathering our attention once more. "There was a travelling vendor at the marketplace gossiping with another woman about two Landiani women she had seen passing through."
Whatever enthusiasm I felt in the morning about having an advantage over my mother and sister vanishes. My blood runs cold suddenly. The others turn to look at me in concern.
"Fetia?" Asteria asks.
"That's my mother and sister," I say.
"How can you be sure?" Vasa asks. "It could be travelers—"
"I doubt anyone from Landiani is travelling willingly right now," I say. "My mother and sister were in correspondence with an ally in Flumensia when I left. Perhaps they are seeking out shelter with that woman. Arabelle, when did those women see them?"
"In Olnfield a few weeks ago. The woman was selling some of her goods and caught sight of them. She said they didn't linger long in the marketplace, nor did they buy anything, but she could tell by their appearance that they were from Landiani."
"Did she reach out to any Magnuvian authorities?"
Arabelle throws her arms up. "How am I to know? I'm just repeating what I heard."
"It's okay," Asteria says. "Olnfield is still a ways south of here. I'm sure there's no need for concern."
I hug my arms to my body, not comfortable with the fact that my mother and sister are now in the same country as me when I thought I had escaped them. I face my companions. "Everyone needs to be on their guard. I'm not sure what knowledge they are working with or why they are here. They could be seeking shelter with their ally or they could know that I fled here, that the princess is here, or worse, that Asteria has joined our side. Regardless, I know that their plans involve murdering Asteria, so we must be cautious."
"Then, only of those of us your mother and sister do not know should be allowed to venture into town for the time being," Kesuk suggests. "Fetia, Asteria, and, I suppose Vasa as well, should remain here."
"I agree. That would be wise," Asteria says.
Nausea rides through me. Kiana's cold warning rings through my ears of what happened if I stood in the way of her and Mama. It is not just Asteria's life who is in danger now, but mine as well. I feel Asteria's hand run soothingly up my arm, and the churning of my stomach settles.
"It is not something we need to think about just yet," Asteria says softly.
I nod, knowing we cannot predict what my mother and sister know.
"Let's continue to focus on gaining allies in Flumensia, then," I say. "We'll remain alert about any rumors of my mother and sister's presence. I can only hope they are merely seeking shelter in Olnfield."
"Yes," Kesuk says. "We can deal with any other challenges as they appear."
Our conversation dissipates, and the others begin returning to their daily duties. Meanwhile, my throat grows chalky with nerves. I glance out the window in fear, hoping there is no day soon that I run into my mother and sister again.
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