Chapter 5
Tim was finishing his shift and thinking about Lucy, as he always seemed to be doing lately. He felt like, recently, he was always writing her or thinking about writing her. He no longer had any perspective about whether the stuff he was saying to her was part of their cover or just him finally admitting his feelings. It's like he had become lost in this undercover persona because it let him say everything he had kept inside.
While lying in bed that night, he stared at the ceiling, unable to sleep. Tomorrow was his next visiting day, and he was equally thrilled and terrified.
He couldn't wait to see Lucy. To have her in front of him and stop worrying about her safety for at least a few minutes. And just the thought of being able to touch her again made the waiting almost unbearable.
But he was also filled with nervous tension. What did she think of the letters he had been writing? Writing to her had allowed him to open up in a way he had never thought possible. And her letters had been in a similar tone. But did she mean any of it? Or was it just part of keeping her cover?
He ran these questions through his mind over and over until he finally fell into an uneasy sleep.
The next morning Tim tried to ignore that he was taking extra care with his appearance. Grey had told him to go straight to the prison in the morning. Tim attempted to construct another dirtbag outfit – ripped jeans and a black t-shirt, and then headed to the prison.
The same guard as last time led him back to the table in the corner, shooting Tim a knowing glance. Tim drummed nervously on the table while he waited for Lucy...Lacey to be brought in. When the door opened, and he saw her coming in behind the guard, he gasped before he could stop it. One side of her face was black and blue; the eye was almost completely swollen shut.
"Lu...Lacey! What happened?" Tim was on his feet before he knew it, covering the ground between them and taking her in his arms. He squeezed her tightly for a moment before pulling back to examine her face.
"Sammy," Lucy put her hand on the side of his face. "It's okay. Let's sit down." They pulled apart and sat across from each other at the table.
"I wrote you that I had things to tell you...I didn't want to write you about it because I didn't want you to worry."
"I'm worried all the time. You promised you would let me know what was going on. That's the whole point...." He stopped himself because he didn't want to give himself away and because it was a lie. There was so much more to their letters than just keeping track of Lucy's undercover mission. He sighed and started again, "What happened?"
Lucy looked around, noting the prisoners at the tables close to theirs, and tilted her head, taking on her Lacey persona. "Don't worry, Daddy, your baby's fine. Some of my new friends like to play rough."
Tim reached across the table and grabbed her hand, lowering his voice. "Are you really okay? Do you need me to..."
Lucy turned her hand up and squeezed his, her mask falling for a second. "I'm okay, really. You know how it is in here. I don't want to talk about it anymore. I don't even want to think about it. Tell me something else. Make me forget I'm in here, just for a little."
Tim's voice was husky when he answered her. "I think about you all time, baby. So much that it makes me feel crazy. I feel like I'll explode if I can't be near you, if I can't touch you." He ran his finger over the back of her hand, and she shivered.
"Some days, your letters are the only thing keeping me going. I've read them so many times that I practically have them memorized. The things you say...." Tim saw her mask slip again for a second, and Lucy looked at him, her eyes filled with questions. "Do you mean it? All of it?"
Tim could hardly breathe. He wanted it to be Lucy asking this and for her to know it was Tim answering. To know that this part had nothing to do with undercover. "I mean all of it. I love you."
Lucy's eyes filled with tears as she clawed at his arms, trying to shrink the distance between them. "I love you too. So much. I..." but whatever she was about to say was interrupted by the guard telling them their visit was over. They stood up, and Lucy clung to Tim; he could feel her whole body shaking.
He whispered into her hair. "Are you okay? Do you need me to get you out of here?"
But she only murmured, "It's fine," before pressing her lips to his. This kiss was different from the others. Lucy devoured him, the salt from her tears mixing with the kiss. Having grown tired of clearing his throat, the guard put his hand on Lucy's arm and pulled her away. As she left, she mouthed, "I love you" one more time.
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