17th February
10.30 PM

The soft drizzles touch the ground as the breezes whisper sweet nothings to the trees. A smile is fixed on my lips as I keep my eyes fixed on the night glory. The starry night witness my solitude, as I stand on the roof under the shade leaning against the pillars.

My open black waves rest on my bare back, clad in my blue cotton saree and white sleeveless embodied blouse I know I look like Mehboba, Tanveer's first words when I stepped into his house two hours ago.

The dinner was done half an hour ago, reliving all the good old days, the smiles the laughter that once again echoed through the hall of this home, the walls again witness the love of friends, an affair of memories and creating many more of that. And now as I stand here, the memory of our first time comes to mind. Those shayaries, those songs, I sighed pulling my hair to my left shoulder.

The cold breeze makes me shiver a little I smiled. This feels good, unknowingly good. I rub my bare arms crossing my arms. I need a chai now. Oh, this addiction of mine I need to work on it.

Another breeze past, the drizzles fastens a little, I smile again as I hum,

//Tere Sang Guzre Mere Jo Lamhe
Tum Se Wo Maangu.//

Lost in array a warm jacket around me brings me back, I smiled. Tanveer. He holds a cup of chai in front of me. I shake my head.

"What song you are singing?" He asked.

"It's a new one, I am sure are not aware of this on, Mr Buzurg." He shakes his head in annoyance but I didn't miss the small smile that plays on his lips.

I sip the chai closing my eyes, another thing I love being here, their chai, especially when Amma made it, like this one.

Dil Ke Darwaze Pe
Phir Se Teri Dastak Mangu
Tujh Se Hi Phir Apni
Pehli Si Muhabbat Maangu

He hums and I looked at him with amusement.

"How?" I asked.

"Well google it is." I shake my head in denial, this guy is too much sometimes.

Silence engulfs us, a comfortable silence. The soft breezes witness it and retire themselves without disturbing the beholders. I smiled as another gust hits us.

"Bahut lambi guftagu karni hai. Tum aana ek poori zindagi lekar" He spoke.

"Maine ne har baar tujh se milte waqt
tujh se milne ki aarzu ki hai
tere jaane ke baad bhi maine ne
Teri khushbu se guftagu ki ha" I smiled as those words left my lips.

Silence hugs us tight this time as we stand looking at the sky with soft drizzles yet a full moon is here.

"Sometimes I wonder you know..." He starts, I tugged a strand of my hair behind my ear.

"...How it feels like?"

"How what feels like?" I asked.

"How it feels like to be in love." I smiled.

A sad smile. I pity those who haven't fallen in love, who doesn't know what love looks like.

I pity Tanveer because he is one of them, not only that, he never let himself feel the love that surrounds him. I pity people who were always way too focused on their career, always a loner.

He hardly got any friends other me, hell he hardly got any relationship, family or friends. Anything other than the business that asked him for attention he bid them a farewell without a second look.

"Sometimes I think it must look like you." I smiled at this.

"You know what love looks like," I said, he raised a brow as I continue.

"Love looks like this rain, this serene winds, this starry night. Anything that makes your breath halt is love, anything that makes you happy is love." He smiled.

"And sometimes you know what love looks like, but you just couldn't let yourself see that. Because as always you are being a coward."

His smile sudden lost its way. I have again knocked a closed-door of his heart, locked with grief, the key lost in years of waiting.

"Sometimes we just have to let go of some people, and I have a heart to protect" I laughed hard at this.

"You are an ego to maintain, an honour you are bound to." He looked at me trying to find words that lost their ways amidst the winds.

"The heart you are speaking about can never be left unscratched when you had broken someone else's"

"I haven't done anything as such" He withdraws his eyes away from mine.

"Once a decade ago she did knock the doors of your heart, what you did? You locked them and kept her standing there, drenching in the pain, in humiliation. And when she left her heart at the doorsteps of yours, you didn't even bother to open it.
     So it was supposed to come back to you one day, when you didn't accept the love, it doesn't wait for you too." He gulped.

Few moments are passed in silence until he whispers,

"Maybe because I didn't want that heart, maybe because I didn't want that love. Maybe I wanted something else."

"And what that something else might be? Me or my heart?" He gasped and closes his eyes recovering himself from my brutally honest words. Some pain never leaves, a pain like never does.

"Khwahish it was not like that between us."

"Because we both know it can never be like that. The love I seek you keeps your safe distance from that. The promise you want I broke those every day. I and you are just great friends and can never be more than that." He closes his eyes nodding his head in approval as I continue.

"And who told you that you will have choices when it comes to love?" I laughed.

"Love never gives you choices. He let it go because you were greedy, a coward perhaps." I said looking towards the open lawn.

"I let it go because I could have never accepted that. She was just a teenager back then"

"Love never happens keeping ages in mind."

"Let's not talk about it, I didn't have the gut to face her, I didn't have the gut to name you and me something else, I never had it. I accept." Another habit of his I hate the most, Tanveer accepts defeats without giving a fight.

"Abeera is coming tomorrow." His breaths halt as he shakes his head. That girl had waited for him and still waiting for him. Sometimes I pity people like Abeera, they invest too much of themselves in love, even when their lover doesn't worth all that, Tanveer doesn't.

"I told Nikhat that we are to meet her tomorrow." He said opening his phone. I shake my head.

"I hope it's a good idea Tanveer."

"I hope that too." He whispers giving his phone to me, a photo of a girl very known which make me pause my breath the breezes stopped as the cup slipped out of the grasp of fingers, shattering all the hopes of happiness I have for him as I take a step back.

My eyes widen a cold sweat travels down my spine, a haunting memory crawls up slowly, painfully. I blink once, twice to let it go back. No way on the earth this can happen. Tanveer can't be with her, he doesn't deserve him.

This guy may have done mistakes but that doesn't mean he deserves a punishment like her. She is the cause of destruction, the sole reason for ruined lives, of stained relations. Tanveer Ali doesn't deserve someone like Nikhat Mallick.

"Khwashish you alright.." He holds my elbow with a worrying expression. No, I am not, I can't let this happen. I can't let his heart crumble into pieces, I can't let his family shatter, they are too dear to me.

Then I looked into his looking for something which is not there. I close my eyes and open them again, "Do you... love her?" I ask cautiously.

For once I saw that in his eyes, the guilt, the crime of not being in love. And I felt my breath coming back to me.

"I... I don't know what love looks like, but I want to keep her happy."

"And her happiness will cost you your own." His eyes widen but then a soft smile mocks him.

"Isn't that another form of love? Putting someone else's happiness before our own. Isn't that what we have done before? When we put our family before our wishes."

"It is but when the other worth it. And Nikhat Mallick surely doesn't deserve any single ounce of it, she doesn't deserve any of these fights, any of these efforts." He furrows his brows.

"Why?" Why? Because she had ruined lives before. But he doesn't know. He shouldn't know. I gulp.

"Tanveer, trust me she is not good enough for you. And... this is not loving."

"I never told you that I love her, did I?" He never did.

"Tanveer.."

"Khwahish I am not even looking for love anymore. I had accepted the fact that I had lost my chances in love, not once but twice.

And you don't even know Nikhat." I know her better than anyone else.

"Tanveer..."

"No listen, and listen to me for good, we are going to meet them tomorrow and you are coming with us. Whatever happens there will be the last decision, but at least meet her once. You have convinced Amma after so many efforts please at least meet them." Meet them, I can't. I vowed never to cross paths with them.

"Tanveer.."

"You owe me this much Khwahish." I gulped closing my heart, choking my pain.

I took a step back then another, slowly walking away from his hold, from him. Making my way out of the residence as the hallways witness another flash of my low end. The breezes sighed and the trees move in denial, the sky roar in agony as I walked out of the place leaving a confused man standing on the roof all alone.

What you have done Tanveer? A friendship we have cherished for years, you shattered it under the burdens of mortgages.

As I walked to my car my eyes look back to the rooftop where he stands shaking his head, cursing himself but the bow had left the arrow, it had hit the point where it hurts the most, the damage is done. Another friendship is stained. Another loss.

18th February
2.30 AM

"You should have told him the truth Khwab. He deserves to know" I can see the furrowed brows the accusing tone.

I shake my head. I am too tired for all this tonight but Reyansh holds my belief for sanity.

"He lost me today Ansh. He lost it." I whisper as a pain morphs his expression.

"He didn't, and you know it too." He stated.

"The one who is unaware of the truth deserves an edge Khwab, he doesn't even an idea of it."

"He didn't even listen to me."

"You already clouded his head with all other talks. That was already a sour topic and then your denial only blurred his thoughts. As far as I know that guy, he trusts you with life Khwab give him an edge at least." This man holds my sanity.

"How do you do this always?"

"Calming your nerves? Oh maybe because I have learnt from the best." He teased getting my smile back.

"Smile suits you Khwab," He said looking at me, his eyes pour his heart out even though the screen, even though the miles of distance between us.

"And you always made sure that it never leaves me."

"That's what I promised you right? To keep that smile there." And Reyansh Bakshi always keeps his promises.

"And that's what home suppose to do that to you."

"And you are my home." He smiled making my stupid heart grins.

"You makes me feel like a teenager with all these cheesy talks."
He laughed hard and I captured the moment on the films of my honey-brown orbs.

"Whatever happens tomorrow, remember to keep your head high. You are my wife, my queen who holds her confidence as her sword, you can win any battle with that, it's just a mere fight against destiny." I smiled.

"And Khwab?" I look at him and hold my breath, the sinnest smile is here, "I want you to win it this time. What you have lost can't get back, but it can be avenged. Make sure to redeem every tear of yours."

And I know I will be the one calling this war a checkmate.

For I know, love pain and grief all need to reconcile when the time comes.
Kyuki hum toh phle se barbad the, ab bari unki tabahi ki thi.