Arthur lay back on his bed, his heart racing as he looked up at the ceiling of his room. He had taken more of the drug than he had ever taken before; taken enough to try and achieve that first high that the white powder had given him. He knew that it was wrong, but he didn't care anymore; the world....he, could disappear as far as he was concerned. Nothing had mattered since before the war, since he had lost her. Arthur hoping that maybe this time, the drug would make his heart beat quicker and quicker until it actually stopped, and he woke to find himself back with her. The oldest Shelby closing his eyes, his hands tightly gripping at the sweat soaked sheet beneath his body...........

Sounds.........suddenly there were sounds.........Arthur quickly sitting up. His eyes growing wide, as he realised that he was no longer in his room, but in an aid tent. The cot he found himself in, surrounded by many like it, with other men in various states of repair in them. Tired, worn out appearing nurses moving between their patients, doing their best to continue to smile, and give even those that were obviously at their end, some hope, some comfort. He had of course seen this before, he had had to be taken to a place like this, himself. It the only real respite from the war that he had really had, despite how close it had still been to the front. It nice to have been cared for, even if it were only for a little while; the cot far better than sleeping, up to his arsehole, in mud and shit.

Slowly he got up, neither the nurses, nor the soldiers seeming to notice him as he moved passed; not appearing to hear his voice, as he asked where he was. Arthur slowly continuing to make his way through the slight chaos of the scene.

He was sure that the war had been over. He was sure that he had been back at home with Tommy and John Boy; yet here he was, the familiar scents of a makeshift hospital, of the disinfectant, death and decay filling his nostrils; while the moans of those in pain, the pleadings of the dying were all he could hear. Arthur having to think that perhaps being home; that everything that he had believed had happened, was just a dream, and now he had woken to find the truth; that the war was still raging, and he was stuck in the middle of it.

Slowly he made his way out of the large tent, watching on as doctors, nurses and soldiers, went on with their day; none of them still seeming to notice that he was there. It as if he were a ghost that none of them could see. A part of Arthur wondering whether he was actually dead; that he was dead and he had been cursed to wander the battlefields for the rest of eternity. But then he saw something; something that made his heart wrench. Something that made him forget about his own fate, as he quickly moved away from the large tent to a smaller tent into which he had just seen a nurse walk; a nurse that he would know anywhere.

With a trembling hand and a frantically beating heart, he reached out and slowly pushed open the entrance to the tent. Arthur sure that his knees would give way any moment, as he saw her; and even though it was only her back, he still recognised her. (Y/n).......his (Y/n), but that was impossible........

(Y/n) was his girl, everyone knew it; and she had been since they were at school.......well, she had been at school while he would be off doing whatever he wanted, smoking a cigarette that he had been able to steal from his father, as he waited to meet her at the end of the day. The pair, an odd match, but somehow it had worked. They each other's first kiss, each other's first everything; it obvious to all that they were very much in love; yet then the war had come, and even though he had told her that he wanted her to stay in Small Heath with his aunt, sister and little brother, she would hear nothing of it; telling him that if he was to do his part, then so did she. That if it was really all to be over by Christmas, then the least she could do was help by volunteering to become a nurse; and then, when they were all home safe and sound, they would finally do what they had spoken about for so long, and be married. Yet the war hadn't been over by Christmas, and the woman that he loved had not been safe and sound. The frontline first aid station that she had been at, bombed by German mortars; the vast majority of nurses and injured soldiers losing their lives in the attack. One of them.........one of them his (Y/n).

"(Y/n)...........?" He asked in disbelief. His heart fit to burst from his chest, as she turned around and smiled. It truly the woman that he had loved and lost.

"Hello, Arthur............"

"(Y/n).........how..........Ya........you're dead?"

"Does it matter.......? And did you really think that death could come between us. All that matters is I am here and so are you........." (Y/n) interrupted, as she slowly made her way over to him, appearing to him to be even more beautiful than he could remember. His eyes closing as she placed her hand on his cheek.

"Why are you doing this to yourself, Arthur. Why are you trying to destroy yourself...........?"

"Because......because I don't have you. You were always tha one that helped me; that knew how ta calm me. I fuckin miss ya, don't I........i'm lost without ya. I've had enough of all tha fuckin pain, of all tha shit in my head. It better ta be dead and be with you, than have ta go on livin.........."

"Don't say that........don't ever say that, Arthur. I don't want you to die; yes, I miss you; yes, I would give anything for you to be with me, but it is not your time. You have to go on living; you have to stop punishing yourself for things that you cannot change; things that are beyond your control; for what happened to me. I made my choice, and what happened was not your fault. I need you to stop hurting yourself; need you to stop harming yourself, for it does nothing but break my heart. You have to go on; need to go on. And when your time does come, I will be waiting for you. But until then, know that I am with you, that I am watching over you; and even at your darkest moments, you do not need to fear. I love you Arthur Shelby, death does not change that; yet for now, you must return to the land of the living. Return to your life." She told him. Placing a finger to his lips, as he began to protest.

"It is time to go home, Arthur; time to go home. But never forget, you haven't lost me, you are not alone; we are just temporarily parted........." She added, before placing a kiss to his lips.

                                                       >>----------------------------------<<

Arthur sat up, gasping for air. His eyes large, as he looked around him, finding himself back in his bedroom. His body, his bedding covered in more sweat than they had been before. Yet instead of thinking about finding a bottle or reaching for more of the drug to numb the pain that came with his waking moments, he lay back and smiled. Reaching up his hand and placing it to his lips, sure that he could still feel, could still taste her mouth on his. And whether seeing (Y/n) had been real or not. Whether it had all been a dream or some drug induced hallucination; for the first time in a very long time, he felt something other than the need to end it all. He felt a need to go on; the notion that she was with him, that (Y/n) was watching over him, what he had needed. Arthur knowing now that he would never be alone.