Teach Me How to Cry

Teach me how to cry, I beg you. Teach me how to cry because I don't know how, no matter how hard I've tried. I can hardly breathe; it feels like there's something lodged in my throat, blocking the air. It seems there's something in my heart that's tearing me apart; the thought of it grows heavier every time I try to confront it. It's so overwhelming that I can barely endure it anymore.

Show me how, show me the way. Should I dredge up old, sad memories? But how can I, when every day turns my life upside down? What does it even mean? Does it bring any change? Does it shift my mood from melancholy to joy? I feel numb inside. I can no longer recall the happiest moments of my life. All I can think about and feel are heartaches and pains.

Sometimes, I lose myself in sad music, searching for a remedy. Instead, I find myself drifting into a celestial void, pondering the cruelty of life, wondering what I did wrong to deserve this. Anxiety shocks me, causing my nerves to short-circuit. Loneliness has become a constant companion, but I've grown accustomed to it.

I find myself wondering how it feels to be happy. Does happiness mean anything to anyone? Can it relieve you from the complications this chaotic world brings? It's the same old story: just when you feel joy, minutes later, it vanishes, replaced by that old, familiar sadness that colors the day with grey. You're left confused, thinking about what happened. I was laughing yesterday, and now I'm here, lying in bed, crying. Maybe happiness will teach me how to cry, but how can that be? Does it mean you need to cry to find happiness? I don't even know how to smile. Can you teach me how to be happy? You might think I'm crazy, but I'm just like anyone else, trying to navigate this topsy-turvy world.