=Chapter Twenty-Seven=
•*•
A day of distraction
=
Wednesday, 25th of September

Not this dream- not again-

No!

Why can't I move?! Help! Someone?! Anyone?!

I stare as water rose seemingly out of nowhere, a cold dark liquid..Unfriendly liquid. "Stop! I command you to stop!" I yell at it, but it wouldn't obey. it only rose higher, lapping around my waist. "Please!" I begged, my whole body stiff and unmoving.

The water ignored me, it gained hight in seconds, reaching my neck. "Please!" I screamed, the dark water crawling over my face, plunging me in darkness.

I choked. I couldn't- I couldn't breathe!

My whole body convulsed, released from its stiffness, but I couldn't breathe.

My vision started to fade.

"Blurbblblbb!" (Yall im choking 😂)

My eyes shot open, a scream leaping from my lips as I continued choking on air.

I struggled to breathe, taking short shaky breaths as I blinked the darkness and tears away.

My eyes found the window, the plants, my door, and eventually down to the orca plush at the end of my bed, anchoring myself back to reality.

I shakily reached forward, grasping a fin, pulling Ollie closer, grasping him in my arms tightly, tears running down my cheeks.

I'm fine. I'm okay. I'm home. I'm okay, I'm okay, I'm okay-

I took a deep breath, breathing in leather and vanilla.

Finally my heart slowed back to its normal pace as I closed my eyes, my face buried in Ollie.

I took one last sniff and retracted, looking for Mr. Kelp, not wanting to let the blue whale feeling left out.

I snatched him close and held my two whales tightly, watching clouds pass, -and the stars, when the clouds broke briefly.

I didn't care what time it was, I just knew I wouldn't be going back to sleep.

I crawled to my window, resting my head on the wall beside it as I watched the clouds.

It took everything in me not to think about the water closing over my head.

If anything scared me the most, it would always be drowning.

Because I shouldn't be able to.

Because I should be able to trust and find comfort in it.

It had first become a fear when I had been swallowed whole by the muskeg on Hazel, Frank and I's journey to Alaska.

I had felt that same panic when Phorcys trapped Frank and I in his aquarium. Luckily in that situation I could still breathe, but I was sure Phorcys could have taken that ability away if he wanted to. Especially since that water wouldn't do as I commanded either.

But just because it didn't happen, doesn't mean my mind can't make that fear a reality in my dreams.

And it does plague me.

Those were nightmares. Nothing more than that. It wasn't foreseeing any future attacks or monsters scheming.

It was just me. Terrorizing myself.

There was nothing I wanted more than a hug. Maybe a cup of something warm, coffee, hot chocolate.. anything. All I had was myself.

And how utterly miserable was that?

I had come to Gotham to seek my own freedom from the Greek world, and now all I feel is loneliness.

No. Shut up Percy.

"You can't say that.." I told myself quietly. "You have May, Liz, Mom and Paul, Estelle.. you aren't alone."

But I feel alone.

I've kept mom at a safe distance. I've abandoned her.. abandoned camp half blood and new Rome.

All as an excuse. To hide.

From what?

The gods? Monsters? Pity? Me?

I wasn't sure. But I was hiding. Under the guise of finding my own way in the world.

I didn't have to do this the way I did. I didn't have to keep Mom and the camps on low contact.

I'm not alone. Not here, not there.

I put Ollie and Mr. kelp down and stood up, stretching.

"I am not hiding." I said aloud, confidently. "I am on my own, as an adult. I am protecting my family, I am seeking a new home for my friends."

I took a deep breath. "And I will not succumb to self depreciation. I am strong, I am beautiful. And.. I feel miserable right now and that's okay."

I wiped my tears with my sleeve and stood stiffly so I wouldn't start crying again. "I want to be strong, I am strong." I finally relaxed, closing my eyes. "Okay. We're good, this is fine."

I opened my eyes and turned on the fairy lights that were strung on my walls, lit a candle, and then grabbed my notebook.

9/25/24 (written in Ancient Greek ofc)

Nightmare about drowning
Doesn't seem to be a warning, just a nightmare.

"Okay. That's done." I snapped the notebook shut. "We won't think about it anymore."
I shoved the notebook under my pillow to forget about.

I checked the time on my phone. 4:34 Am. I wasn't kidding when I said I wouldn't be sleeping again.

So.. might as well bake?

I walked to my closet and took a look inside.

Okay.. jeans.. shorts.. orange camp half hood shirt in rags.. orange camp half blood shirt too small.. orange camp half blood shirt also in rags.. orange camp half blood shirt that's worn but not damaged... my blue hoodie.. with a hole. And stained.

I grimaced. I didn't want to get rid of my hoodie even though I destroyed it by getting stabbed with wood.

I hope nobody else finds out about that.. really embarrassing.

Blue t-shirt.. long sleeve camp half blood shirt.. oooh my new Rome shirt..

I shook my head. I'm getting distracted looking at all my old shirts. I need a normal long sleeve. It's kinda cold right now.

I swiped all my hangers to the side to find my only long sleeve shirt (other than chb) which was sea green.

I donned it quickly, trying not to freeze in my state of undress.

I should really buy some sweatpants. That would be comfy. But for now I will survive in pjs.

I scuttled to my kitchen and took out Mays cookbook that she gave to me when I first moved in.

It had a lot of fun looking recipes, and I'd been wanting to make the bread options for a long time now.

Sour dough.. croissants.. pumpkin.. ah ha! Monkey bread. Now that sounds weird.
But it looks good so I'm gonna try it.

I scanned the ingredients list and started pulling out items, setting them down on my cramped counter space.

Once I had everything necessary i started putting it together, making sure to measure correctly and not make a giant mess. (Which was not a success. I made a mess.)

•*•

Not long after, I finished making the dough, and the next step on the recipe was to let it rise.

It was 5:10, and it should take a couple hours.. however long doubling in size entails.

As it was freezing, I didn't have any warm places to put it, so I just put it in the oven (off) to atleast contain whatever warmth might be around.

Next in the step of distracting myself from my own thoughts, was a tv show. Or a movie. Whatever interests me first.

I scrolled through a streaming service, yes it scares me to death. Who knows what qualifies as a signal or not. This was all unknown territory for demigods.

I finally settled on a set of movies I had been meaning to watch. I adore the books to bits.

Also was kinda traumatic in a reminds me of life kind of way.

What am I talking about? The Lord of The Rings, of course!

Extended edition.

I'm not going to want to go to work am I.

I shrug. We will see.

"The world is changed... I feel it in the water.."

"-I feel it in the earth.."

"I smell it in the air.."

I watched with wide eyes, soaking in the first lines.

Subconsciously I pulled my blankets tighter around me and I curled up on the couch in a trance, my eyes fixed on the tv.

•*•

"Mordor..I hope the others find a safer road."

"Strider will look after them."

"...I don't suppose we will ever see them again.."

"We may yet, Mr. Frodo, we may yet."

"Sam, I'm glad you're with me."

The music keys in and I watched the pair walk until the screen dims and the credits roll, the soundtrack moving me to tears.

"That was really good." I told myself, holding back the sting of tears.

I sniffed. Wiped my nose unceremoniously, and sat there processing the end of the first movie.

Wait.

I finished the movie.

Oh my gods what time was it?!!

I scrambled for my phone, lying abandoned on the edge of the couch.

I tapped the screen a thousand times until it turned on.

8:36?!

I sighed, calming my racing heart. "It's fine. We aren't even open right now. It doesn't matter what time it is.."

But it sure freaked me out for a second.

I got up, slipping my phone into my back pocket and headed the short distance to the kitchen. I opened the oven and pulled out my dough.
It definitely looks like it rose well enough.

Time for the next step.. cutting circles out and dipping in butter!

It was super easy and fun, and I aligned them in a Bundt pan.

The recipe calls for a second rising, so I let it sit while I cleaned up the kitchen from my recent flour mess.

Eventually I gave up on patience and put the dough in the oven, standing over it for a second soaking up the warm heat, then started a timer.

It wouldn't take long so I looked through my text messages, responding to my mom a good morning and reacting a heart emoji to a cute picture of little Estelle.

Before I knew it my alarm was going off and the bread was ready!

I could tell it would be good from the smell, buttery and fluffy..

Mmm...

Ahem. Anyways, I took it out and set it on the stove to cool, the light golden brown bread tempting.

At this point May and Bella should be downstairs so of course I'll share my creation.

Apart of me was curious if Jason would show up today. Only time would tell.

I turned the Bundt pan upside down on a plate and lifted, the bread coming out in a cute spiral cake (that pulls apart)

And I restrained myself from sneaking a piece until I showed May.

I quickly went back to my room and changed into jeans. I paused in front of my mirror for a moment to look at my wound. I had to look behind me at the mirror in an odd angle to be able to see it. which I think is fine, it was healing okay and hopefully I'd be able to get stitches out in a week or two.

I put my bandage back over the wound and pulled my shirt down.

I took a small breath to organize my thoughts before proceeding back to the kitchen, grabbing my plate of monkey bread and walking down the stairs.

"There you are eresy." Bella said with a raised eyebrow.

Eresy? I shrugged. Whatever. "Sorry I'm down late. I made bread." I raised the plate in a peace offering.

"Hmm.. lemme have one." She asked.

"Wait for May." I grinned. "I used her recipe book.. so I want to show her."

"May is in her office. Come bring me one once she's looked." Bella shrugged and turned back to her phone.

I walked to the back and knocked on the frame of the doorway to her office. "Hi May."

She turned from her paperwork and looked up at me, "Oh hello dear!"

"I made bread!" I offered.

"you wonderful girl. Is that monkey bread? That's one of my favorites.."

I lowered the plate to the desk for her to see. "Yup. Used your cookbook. Have a piece."

May took one and bit into it, savoring the taste. "This brings back memories, dear. Thank you."

"You're welcome, May." I responded, feeling slightly warm in a melancholy way, realizing May was thinking of her husband.

"How is your wound, Percy? These take time to make.. how early were you up?" May asked in concern.

"I was up early.. but my wound is fine. It's healing well I think. So no need for worry." I reassured her.

May nodded slowly, still enjoying her bread. "Alright. But you need to take care of yourself. I worry about you. I'm here if you ever want to talk."

"Thanks, May. I appreciate it." But there are things I can't tell you..

"I mean it, Percy I can tell you struggle. I'm not sure with what, but I want you to know you can trust me. You're not alone here."

I bit my lip to keep myself from bursting into tears right there.

She's too good at reading people.

"Come here, love." May opened her arms, and I only hesitated for a moment before diving in and hugging her.

"I didn't want to burden you.." I sobbed.

"Oh Percy.. you're not a burden.." May soothed, running a hand through my hair comfortingly.

I buried my head in her shoulder.
"It's okay to cry, Percy. You don't have to be strong all the time." May said gently.

"I know.." I mumbled. "I..I'm just so used to being a leader.. being the person everyone else goes to when they need comfort. I had to be strong.."

"And you don't have to here." May assured. "It's your turn to be comforted."

"I..." yes please.

I relaxed in Mays embrace. "Thank you May... I.. I really needed that." I said softly.

"I know." She said simply. "You always look like you need a hug." She pushed me away by my shoulders so she could look me in the eyes. "Find yourself a man who can comfort you so I don't have to."  May joked.

"Very funny, May."

"I'm not quite kidding. As much as I love giving hugs.. we have work to do. And I can't always be here for you when you need it most."

I nod. "Right. Well thank you anyways."

May reached around me and snatched another piece of bread. "Now run along, we've got a lot of stocking to do! I'll be out once I finish these papers."

I grin. "Okay." I took the plate back out to the main shop room and set it on the counter.

"Hey Bella, bread is up for grabs." I snatched a piece myself and bit into it. "Mmmm.." I closed my eyes, enjoying the glorious buttery taste.

"Stop being so dramatic.." Bella rolled her eyes. She snatched a piece for herself and I could tell she had to resist the temptation to melt. "G-good enough.." she mumbled.

I grin at her and shrug. "More for me."

"No! I'll take.. another. To make you feel better." Bella looked away with a glare.

"Okay, okay. I appreciate it." I roll my eyes.

"Of course you do."

The door dinged open and I saw Jason walk through, a black turtle neck shirt and his classic leather jacket.

"Hi Jason!" Bella squealed.

"Hey Jason." I waved.

He completely ignored Bella and walked straight to me. "Hey Perce." He said with a soft smile as he stood over me. I keep forgetting he's so tall.

"Bread?" I pointed to the counter with my bread on the plate.

"Did you make it?" He asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Yeah."

"Then yes."

•*•

Hi all!
I realized I hadn't really wrote much about how Percy feels, and what kind of things she is struggling with.

So this chapter kinda serves as a remedy for my lack of backstory.

It's a lot longer than normal too!

Happy new year, and I hope you enjoy this bonus chapter as the first of 2025!
Anyways, I hope you all have a *phonetastic* year!

Toodles!
💙🍪