"True remorse is never just a regret over consequence; it is a regret over motive." -Mignon McLaughlin

I'm making a decision today, Brielle. For all of this to be over, I have to do it. I hope you forgive me when I'm done. -Xander

☔︎・☔︎・☔︎

"What are we doing here?" I asked Dad when he parked his car outside the arcade we always went to when I was little.

"5:30." He looked at his watch. "I'm sure your mom wouldn't mind." He smiled.

I furrowed my eyebrows, getting confused. "Are we going to play?" I asked and he nodded as a response. "On a school night?" I confirmed.

He laughed. "It's called unwinding, Marina," he answered in a matter-of-fact tone.

"You sure know a lot about unwinding, Dad," I teased, referring to his lifestyle back when he was in high school. Mom told us about it all the time.

He smirked. "Your ol' man knows how to enjoy, Ariel. Unlike your mother who enjoyed studying all the time." He shuddered from the thought.

I laughed. "When Mom hears this, you're going to be in trouble."

He shrugged. "It's not my fault she fell in love with her polar opposite."

"I can't believe it does happen in real life. The golden girl falling for the troublemaker. Are you in some kind of a book or movie?" I said and Dad laughed.

"Well, sometimes you find comfort in the most unexpected people. You cannot choose who your heart beats for. Sometimes, the one you can't stand can also be the person whom you want to spend the rest of your life with," Dad narrated.

I smiled. He and Mom had a beautiful love story. It was simple but sweet. Their story was like a flower, it slowly bloomed into something so magical. It focused on both of them, how they grew and strengthened their love, no other person in the picture.

"You're a golden girl yourself and you fought for the right to be with a troublemaker as well," he said and I was taken aback. I was reminded of Sandra and Xander.

Like every story, there always has to be some kind of struggle in the way. This was the bump on the road in Mom and Dad's story. Sandra Planes wasn't supposed to be in the picture. No one figured out that she still had some lost pages.

"And that is the thing I regret the most," I told him. "Let's go," I said before getting out of the car and walking into the arcade.

The first game we played was the racing game. I always lost to Dad because he knows how to drive which is unfair.

We also did the dancing machine which was a huge challenge for him because as he said "he's not getting any younger".

I challenged him to get a prize from the claw machine. Both of us ended up failing because that machine is impossible. We did a few more games before I sat on one of the benches and Dad went to the counter to order a hotdog and some fries. I fidgeted with my bracelet while waiting.

"Here," Dad said as he approached me. He handed me my cheesy bacon fries and coke float.

I smiled before taking it from him and starting to eat. I was in the middle of enjoying my fries when I noticed him glancing at my bracelet.

He cleared his throat. "How are you?" he asked.

I raised my wrist with the bracelet I made when I was trying to stop harming myself. Doc Matt recommended it to me before. He told me to make a bracelet and add a butterfly charm for every week that I did not harm myself. They called it 'The Butterfly Project'.  I stopped wearing it and stuck to my diary entries when I fully had self-control but I had the urge to cut again so I wore it to remind myself not to go back.

"Trying to hold up," I answered.

"Did your dreams reoccur?" he asked.

I shook my head as a response. "A lot of overthinking and frustrations happened though that is why I went with Maddie to see Doc Matt yesterday."

After talking with Xander, I had a mild attack and Maddie saw that so she took me to their house so I can talk to her father. Good thing he was there so we had a session in their living room.

"He also told me a lot about Sandra," I said.

"Was he part of–"

"Good thing he wasn't. I don't know what I could've done if he was one of them," I answered.

"How did he end up meeting Sandra then?" he asked.

"After a year of his marriage with Mrs. Phillips, they encountered a huge problem. He didn't specify what and I didn't bother asking. On top of that, Mrs. Phillips was having a hard time getting pregnant," I started. "That's when Sandra came. She became Doc Matt's comfort."

"Was she in New York then?" Dad asked and I nodded as a response. He closed his eyes and sighed.

When I heard of it from Doc Matt, I was as shocked as Dad. So much rage filled me. All this time, she was in NYC and she acted as if she had just moved. That almost ruined my family. That event ruined me.

"They had an affair. It was all fun and games until Doc Matt actually fell for her. He said that in a way, Sandra helped him get his name known across the city which he thought before was just something she did out of kindness but when he found out of Sandra and Xander's plan, he figured out that Sandra wanted him to become famous so that he can become my therapist," I narrated. I got goosebumps while hearing about that and I am still getting goosebumps as I am telling the story now.

Sandra was a genius. She knows how to use her cards right. I haven't even started playing and she already had the whole game to her advantage. She had control of my life.

"After he was known, Sandra suddenly disappeared. He tried to find her but Mrs. Phillips already got pregnant and instead of continuing the search, he focused on Maddie's birth," I said. "He only found out of Xander when Xander reached out to him recently."

Dad was left dumbfounded. He's probably having a hard time taking all of it in. I was the same when I heard of the story. I wanted to scream and cry but none of that will change anything. I just accepted the fact that Sandra had taken over half my life but I am determined to stop her from continuing to invade my life forever.

From now on, I'll make sure that I will be in control of my own life. I am more than just my parents' daughter. I am more than Sandra's torture tool for Mom and Dad. I am Marina Gabrielle Winters and I will make sure to win the game this time around.

☔︎・☔︎・☔︎

"Crabby, we're home!" Dad said when we entered the living room.

"Mom's not here," Maxwell said. He was sitting on the couch and is watching a movie.

"Where is she?" I asked.

Maxwell shrugged. "She said she had to buy something. She left her phone," he answered before handing Mom's phone to Dad. "It's been ringing like crazy since a while ago," he added.

I looked at Dad. His eyebrows furrowed while reading something on Mom's phone.

"What's the problem?" I asked.

"Huh?" he said, looking at me. "Nothing. Don't worry about it."

"That's not nothing." I sighed. "Where's Mom?"

"I'll come get her now," he said before grabbing his car keys. "There's some food in the fridge. You can heat it when the both of you get hungry."

I was still about to ask something but he left immediately. I didn't put much thought into it and just calmed myself before going to my bedroom to get changed. After changing, I went back to the living room and watched the movie with Maxwell.

He looked at me and offered me some popcorn. I shook my head because I was still full from the arcade food Dad and I ate.

"You're watching that movie again." I noticed.

"Let me live," he retorted and I laughed. "I'm glad your okay, Ate," he said before smiling.

I ruffled his hair. "I'm not okay but I try."

He sighed. "When will everything be okay?" he asked and I was taken aback.

I felt guilty. I forgot that Maxwell was also affected by all of this. Mom and Dad's attention was so focused on me that Maxwell had to learn doing some things on his own.

I gave him a small smile before focusing on the movie again. I can't answer his question because I, myself don't know when everything is going to be okay.

We had finished another movie after that. I was already getting worried about Mom and Dad but I did not try calling them because I did not want to ruin Maxwell's already good mood.

Maxwell and I decided to go to our rooms and rest because it was getting late and we still have classes tomorrow.

While doing my night routine, I heard my phone ringing. Dad finally called after three hours.

"Dad, are you heading home already? Did you get Mom? Where was she?" I asked after accepting his call.

"Jay is going to be there in ten minutes. Get your stuff ready and Maxwell's too," he said.

A sudden rush of nervousness coursed through me. "Why is Jay picking us up and why should we bring some stuff? Where are you?" I asked.

"You'll know when you get here. For now, just–"

"Dad, I am not going to do anything unless you tell me what's happening," I firmly said.

He sighed. "Are you sure you can handle the news?"

"Try me."

He took a deep breath. "Lianna and Xander were rushed to the hospital."

☔︎・☔︎・☔︎

"Do you know why my mom was rushed to the hospital?" I asked Jay after the long silence. Since Maxwell and I got in his car, it had been really quiet. The awkward atmosphere between me and Jay still hasn't subsided.

"I don't know, Gabbie, and I didn't bother asking," he answered. "You'll know when you get there," he added.

I sighed before looking out the window again. It's late but there are still a lot of people outside. It made me wonder if some are having a hard time like me.

"We're here, Gab," Jay told me when he stopped by the entrance of the hospital. That broke me out of my reverie.

Maxwell and I immediately grabbed our stuff and prepared to get out of the car.

"Thank you," I told Jay before getting out.

He gave me a small smile. "Call me when you need a friend. I'll always be here for you," he said in all sincerity.

I embraced him. He was taken aback. "Jay, I'm sorry," I said.

He caressed my back. "No, I'm sorry, Gabbie. I should've helped you with what you were going through but instead, I let my feelings get the best of me."

I got out of our embrace. "Forgiven and forgotten." I smiled. "Friends?" I asked.

He nodded. "Best friends," he said.

I breathe a sigh of relief before waving goodbye and getting out of his car.

Maxwell and I ran to the help desk and asked which room was Mom residing in. After getting the room and floor number, we rode the elevator and rushed to Mom's room.

"What happened?" I asked Dad when he opened the door.

"Your mom agreed to meet Sandra alone. Sandra had a gun and your mom fainted due to shock," Dad answered.

I closed my eyes hard. "What was she thinking?" I asked, getting annoyed. "Why did she go there alone?!"

"It's been done, Marina. For now, let's just wish the baby is okay," he said.

My eyes widened. "Is Mom–"

Dad nodded. "She's pregnant."

I held my mouth in shock.

"Cool," Maxwell said, fascination in his tone.

I sighed and looked at Mom. I can't help but think if she went there because of me. She risked her and my sibling's life just for all of this to be over.

I suddenly remembered Xander. Dad said he was rushed here too.

"Where's Xander?" I asked, trying my best to hide the concern in my tone.

Dad sighed. "He's in the operating room," he replied.

My eyes widened. "He's what?! Why is he getting operated?"

"He got shot by his mother," Dad answered. "He jumped in before the bullet can hit me and your mom," he added.

"What?!" I exclaimed before standing up. I picked up my phone and rushed to the operating room. I got lost a few times but that did not stop me from running to where Xander was.

When I reached the waiting area beside the operating room, I saw Doc Matt and Maddie nervously waiting. They got startled when they saw me.

"How is he?" I asked.

"Sit down, Marina," Doc Matt said, pointing at the seat beside Maddie.

I sat down and tried to catch my breath. Maddie caressed my back to calm me down.

"How's Xander?" I asked again.

Doc Matt took a deep breath. "He lost a lot of blood because he's been shot in the chest twice. He was in a critical condition when he was brought here."

I closed my eyes and covered my face with my palm. "This is all my fault," I whispered.

"Gabbie, this isn't your fault," Maddie replied.

"Calm down, okay? Breathe," Doc Matt said. I looked at him and we did some breathing exercises like we always do every time I came to his clinic panicking.

Just as we were doing that, a doctor came out from the operating room. The three of us stood up to greet him.

"We have successfully removed the bullets," the doctor started. Maddie and I breathe a sigh of relief. "But too much blood had been lost. We're taking him to the ICU for observation."

"I understand," Doc Matt answered.

The doors of the operating room opened again and there I saw Xander being wheeled out. There was a tube on his mouth and a few more apparatuses connected to his body. He also looked so weak and seeing him in that state broke my heart.

"Xander!" I called and was about to run to him but Maddie held my arm to stop me. I cried as I watched him being brought to the Intensive Care Unit.

"The trauma caused by the gunshot also lead him to go in the state of coma," the doctor said. Maddie and I looked at him with widened eyes. The doctor gave us an apologetic look before saying, "We are not certain when he will wake up."

☔︎・☔︎・☔︎

"Five more minutes," I said when I felt someone caressing my hair. I closed my eyes again and tried to sleep but remembered where I was and who was beside me.

I quickly sat upright. "Mom!" I said when I saw her awake.

Mom placed her finger between her lips as a signal for me to keep quiet. "Your brother's sleeping," she whispered.

"Mommy," I said, a little teary-eyed before hugging her.

"My baby." She hugged back.

"Should I call the nurse?" I asked and she nodded before letting go of me. I pressed the call button and after a few seconds, a nurse came in and checked on Mom. She then went out to call Mom's doctor.

"Where's your dad?" Mom asked.

"I don't know," I said before grabbing my phone from the side table. I checked my messages and saw that Dad texted me ten minutes ago. "He said he went out to get some food," I told Mom. 

Mom nodded. Her doctor entered shortly after.

"Good morning, Mrs. Winters," the doctor greeted.

"Good morning, Doc," Mom replied.

I stood up and sat beside Maxwell who just woke up. The doctor started checking on Mom.

"We're all good, Mrs. Winters. You'll be discharged in the afternoon," the doctor said while writing on her chart. "You don't have to worry about anything. Your twins are very healthy. Don't forget to come by every four weeks," she added.

All of our eyes widened. I looked at Maxwell. He had been awakened by the news and it's very obvious. I looked at Mom. She looks so happy while touching her tummy.

"Thank you, Doc," Mom said.

"You're welcome, Mrs. Winters. Congratulations," the doctor replied before leaving the room.

"Twins?! OMG! Mom!" I exclaimed.

"Marina," she said in a shushing tone.

"What will we name them? I hope both of them are boys," Maxwell excitedly said.

I scoffed. "Both girls are better," I countered.

Mom glared at the both of us making us drop the argument. Maxwell and I smiled at her before walking to the chairs beside her.

"We're kidding," I started.

"Yeah, we don't care what gender the twins will have but I'm just saying that it would be best if I had a gaming buddy," Maxwell said. I rolled my eyes and ignored him.

Mom chuckled. "My babies," she said before pulling the both of us in a hug. Maxwell tried getting out of the embrace while I hugged Mom tighter. "I love the both of you so much."

"I love you more, Mom," I whispered. "Now," I said before getting out of her embrace. "Why did you meet Sandra alone?" I asked.

She sighed before letting go of Maxwell. "It's the only way we could end this, Marina."

"She almost killed you."

"I know and I was stupid enough to go there without preparing for it." Mom shook her head. "And because I did not think, Xander got affected by all of this."

I sighed and looked away, trying to stop my tears from falling. Whenever I think of Xander, I can't help but cry.

"Xander protected me, your dad, and your siblings," Mom told me, looking directly into my eyes. "And I forgive him, Marina. He was a victim just like us. I hope you find it in your heart to forgive him too."

☔︎・☔︎・☔︎

"Hey, Mom," Maddie greeted when she saw Mrs. Phillips in the ICU waiting room. She couldn't go inside the ICU because it opens for visitors only from 9 am to 11 am and 7 pm to 9 pm.

I furrowed my eyebrows. This is the first time Maddie's mother visited Xander.

"Hi, Mrs. Phillips," I greeted.

"Hey, Gabbie," she greeted back. I smiled at her and she did the same. "Your father's looking for you," she told Maddie.

"Okay," Maddie answered. She looked at me and told me that she'll be back before visiting hours. I nodded before watching her leave.

I sat beside Mrs. Phillips. "You're probably surprised to see me here," she said, starting a conversation.

"Yeah." I chuckled nervously. "I always thought you had some kind of hate towards Xander."

She laughed lightly. "I never hated him, he knows that. We just didn't try forming a bond with each other. I wanted to but to him, I will always be a stranger," she answered.

"I'm glad that you don't hate him." I smiled. "He really needs a mother figure. I feel like Sandra wasn't a good mother to him."

"I wish he thought the same." She smiled lightly. "When I first met Xander, I immediately sensed how sad and lonely he must felt. His eyes looked heavy. It holds a lot of emotion. My anger towards Sandra and Matt melted when I saw Xander," she narrated.

I was surprised by what she said. I never felt that emotion from him at all even before we became a couple. I fell in love with him because I thought he was the complete opposite of me. I thought his mind was at peace and he can make anyone around him feel better but I guess I was wrong. Xander is like me. He had some extra baggage as well.

"But when you and him got together, for the first time, I saw him genuinely happy. His eyes lights up and the heavy aura was gone," she added.

I was taken aback. How could he look happy when all of it was just pretend?

Mrs. Phillips held my hand. "Believe me, Gabbie, Xander loves you. I know for a fact that he did not mean to break your heart."

My eyes widened. "I overheard your session with Matt. I'm sorry," she said when she saw my reaction.

I sighed. "It's okay. I know you wanted to hear about Doc Matt and Sandra's story."

She smiled weakly before breathing heavily. "Anyway, upon hearing that, I knew that Xander wanted to please his mother which is why he agreed to that plan. Like you, I felt like he wanted to experience proper motherly love and by doing what his mother wants, she will finally become the mother figure he longed for," she said, bouncing back to the topic.

"I didn't realize that life hasn't been easy for him too," I said, tears forming in my eyes.

Mrs. Phillips wiped the single tear that fell from my eye with her thumb. "Your story is not yet over. Give him a chance and let him experience how beautiful love is. After everything the both of you had been through, you both deserve eternal happiness in the arms of one another."

☔︎・☔︎・☔︎

"It was crazy. It was like I was partying with different people. Everybody was wild." I laughed. "Wish you were there though," I said before placing my hand lightly on top of Xander's hand.

I am currently inside Xander's ICU Room. I've been telling him about the graduation after-party.

It had been months since he had a coma. Since then, I swing by at the hospital after school and wait for visiting hours then go home after. He missed a lot. I went to prom alone because I feel like I was betraying him if I went to prom with another guy. He missed graduation too.

Even though I see him every day, I still miss him so much. There were times when I would just cry here because I badly want to see him open his eyes again and look at me, smile at me like he always does.

"Ma'am, there are people outside looking for you. They're pretty noisy and the other patients are getting bothered," the nurse told me, a little hesitant about saying the latter.

I sighed. I specifically told them before not to make a scene.

"I'm sorry about that. I'll be checking on them now," I said before standing up and getting out of the ICU.

"I thought I told you–"

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" my friends yelled in unison.

I placed my finger in between my lips to shush them.

"Happy Birthday!" they whispered. I can't help but laugh.

"Birthday?" I asked. "It's not my-" I took out my phone and looked at the date. Oh...

I forgot that it was my birthday today because I've been forgetting what day is it currently. I have a lot on my mind so knowing the date today is far from my concern. I also left home early so I did not hear a reminder from Mom and Dad that today is my birthday.

"I knew you forgot so we went here to celebrate it with you," Faith said, handing me a bunch of balloons.

"Thank you, guys." I pulled all of them in a hug. "Did you guys bring food?" I asked and they laughed.

"We did," Shine answered.

"All the best for you, Gab," Danica said.

I smiled before facing Ian and Jay. "And what did the two of you bring?" I crossed my arms.

"Our presence is enough," Ian answered and Jay laughed.

I rolled my eyes. "Let's go," I said before leading them to the hospital cafeteria.

I had a lot of fun with their mini celebration for me even if we got scolded a few times and almost got kicked out of the hospital but they didn't care. I was the one who kept on apologizing for them.  

"How's Xander?" Shine asked me while we were eating some cake.

"Still the same. His doctor was trying to get some response but there's still none." I sighed and she caressed my back. "I miss him."

Both of us got startled when the nurses and doctors sitting at the table beside us started to rush to the ICU. My heart started pounding. I quickly got up and followed them.

Please don't let it be him.

The nurse immediately let me in because visiting hours wasn't over yet. Shine went in with me and the others were stopped because they only allow two visitors per patient.

"No, we're not Alexander Planes' visitors. I'm visiting my Uncle Bob, yeah. He's in there," I heard Jay say to the nurse. He doesn't have an Uncle Bob, he just made it up, trying to get in.

"I'm sorry, Sir but we really can't let you in," the nurse replied.

I didn't mind them and just proceeded to Xander's room and I almost fell to my knees when I saw him getting revived.

"No, no!" I panicked and tried running towards Xander but Shine and some nurses stopped me. "Xander, don't leave me please!" I yelled, trying to get out of their grasp.

"Ma'am, calm down. We're doing everything we can," one nurse told me.

"Xander, please you have to fight!" I yelled again.

"Gabbie, calm down," Shine said.

Everything was suffocating. The sound of the heart monitor, the sound of the defibrillator as it hit Xander's chest, and all of the nurses talking.

And after a few seconds of chaos, everything just stops and a single sound remained. That sound was not too loud but it can deafen anyone who hears it and that sound made me feel like the whole world just crashed down on me.

"Alexander Planes. Time of death, 10:42 am," the doctor announced. Along with that is the sound of the heart monitor indicating a flat line. Xander's heart is no longer beating.

"Xander!" I called before getting out of the nurse's hold and running towards Xander's bed.

I kneeled on the floor and held his hand. "Xander, don't do this to me, please! Come back to me, please!" I begged.

"Gabbie..." Shine said, trying to help me stand but I was firm. I did not let go of Xander's hand.

I then placed my head on his chest and sobbed. "Wake up, Xander. You're hurting me again. It's not funny anymore! I forgive you so just open your eyes and look at me, please."

"Gabbie, he's gone..." Shine whispered.

I looked at Shine. "He's not! He'll be back!" I argued.

Shine sighed and just caressed my back. I looked at Xander again and brought his hand close to my cheek.

"Xander, I'm sorry. I'm sorry if it took me a while to forgive you. I'm sorry if I didn't give you a chance. So please wake up. Don't end our love story here," I said while tears are continuously streaming down my face. I kissed the back of his hand and leaned my forehead on it before whispering, "I love you."

Then and there, I knew that this was the real revenge. Losing the man I love is the final phase of the loathed Mission: Payback.