"Sometimes exhaustion is not a result of too much time spent on something, but of knowing that in its place, no time is spent on something else." -Joyce Rachelle

I'll always be here, Brielle. I'll wait until the time you can grant me your forgiveness. -Xander

☔︎・☔︎・☔︎

"Key, Jaden Jr.?" our teacher called, checking if Jay is present in our class.

I sighed when no one responded. I felt like it was my fault why Jay did not go to school today. Everything that happened yesterday was just too much.

I've been trying my best to stay sane for today. To do that, I pretended that everything that happened these past few days was just a dream. I know the people around me don't think the same way as I do but in this way, it'll be easier for me to take it out of my system just so I could function properly. Just for today, I want to go back to the time when I haven't met Xander yet. The time when I haven't encountered my greatest problem.

I also took my meds so I've been calm but I am still worried because my attacks can happen at any time.

The class went by smoothly. I focused on the lecture so my mind would not wander. As much as possible, I do not want to think about everything because it could lead to my attacks.

"Shine went to school, right?" I asked Faith while we were walking out of the room.

"Yes, she did," she answered. "What could be the reason for Jay's absence? We both know that he never misses a class," Faith said.

I just shrugged. I love Faith but this whole love triangle thing with Jay and Shine should remain with the three of us.

"Are you okay now?" she asked, referring to my fever excuse.

I sighed. "I was never really sick, Faith. I'm sorry," I confessed.

"I knew it," she said and I looked away, feeling guilty. "I'm not mad, Gab. I know you have your reasons."

I looked at her and gave her a weak smile. "I don't like lying to you but I just wasn't ready to tell you the reason yesterday."

"Is it because you and Xander broke up?" she asked.

My eyes widened in shock. "How did you–"

"I'm your best friend, Gabbie. You don't have to say anything for me to understand what's going on," she answered. "You don't have to tell me how it happened. I'll wait for you to share it with me when you're ready," she added.

"Thank you, Faith," I said.

"Always remember, Gabbie." She held both of my hands tightly but in a soothing manner. "Whatever happens I will always stay by your side. I will never ever leave you even if the whole world turned against you. I'll help you win every battle. As long as I'm standing, you won't be alone, okay?" she said.

A single tear fell from my eye. It felt nice hearing those words from her. I felt at ease because I was assured that there would be one person who will go through every ups and downs with me.

I hugged Faith tight and she did the same. I would forever be grateful to have the greatest best friend and sister in her.

☔︎・☔︎・☔︎

"I knew you would be here," I said when I saw Shine sitting on the bench of our school garden.

"Hey," she greeted.

I smiled before sitting beside her. We stayed silent for a few seconds before facing each other and saying, "I'm sorry."

We both laughed. I moved closer and embraced her.

"I'm really sorry, Shine," I said.

She caressed my back. "I'm sorry too, Gabbie. I hate fighting with my best friend."

I pulled away from the hug and looked at her. "Did you talk to Jay?" I asked.

"I did." She nodded.

"How did it go?" I asked.

She sighed. "I told him that I would distance myself from him and focus more on myself and my goals. It's about time for the chase to retire," she answered.

"I'm proud of you." I smiled.

She took a deep breath. "I'm a bit tired of chasing after him who is busy chasing after you," she said.

I bit my lip out of guilt. I feel so bad because she had to go back to square one with Jay just because of what I did. I wanted Jay to get over me but ended up kissing him, complicating things.

"If I could only make him divert his feelings for you, I would have, Shine," I said.

She chuckled a bit. "Love is so strange, right?" she said and I nodded.

"If only we could choose whom we should fall for," I added.

She sighed. "I've been running after him for so long that I did not get the chance to get to know other people, you know?" She looked at me.

"Did you feel like you have wasted your time?" I asked.

"Before, no but now, I kinda do," she answered. "I feel like fate is playing with me because I kept on trying to do things my way," she added.

It doesn't show but when Shine loves, she gives it her all. She forgets to think about herself. Shine is not hard to love and Jay failed to see that.

"Now, I believe that what's meant to be will happen." She smiled. "Only time could tell if Jaden Key Jr. is meant for me."

☔︎・☔︎・☔︎

"Yes, thank you so much," I told the librarian after she signed the book I was going to borrow.

After securing my things, I immediately got out of the library. I held my breath when I saw Xander outside the library. He stood up when he saw me. I just looked away and started to walk past him, pretending I didn't notice he was there.

"Wait, Brielle!" he said while chasing after me. "Let's talk." He blocked my way.

"There is nothing else we should talk about," I said before attempting to pass by him but he blocked my way again.

"I'm sorry," he said in all sincerity.

I sighed. What he and Sandra did to me was still unacceptable. I had too many anxiety attacks due to that and I thought about taking my life again. When Jay and Sunshine left my house, I almost tried to harm myself but I heard Maxwell outside my room. He was just there, waiting for me to recover. That is when I realized that I should pick myself up and be the sister that Maxwell deserves. I wouldn't heal if I repeat everything I did in the past. That is what Sandra wanted, for me to torture myself again but I wouldn't let her win. Not this time.

I looked at him pleading. I couldn't feel anything but rage while looking at him. I tried to speak but I know nothing good would come out so I just tried to walk past him but he blocked my way again.

"Xander, please," I said, trying to keep my cool.

"Brielle, I need you. It took me days after losing you to realize that I cannot stand living without you again," he said. "Give me a chance. I swear I would be good to you. I could turn my back on my mother for you."

I laughed sarcastically. "You do not deserve my forgiveness," I said coldly before walking away.

He held my arm to stop me. "Brielle, please, I'm sorry. I love you, please," he cried.

I pulled my arm from his grasp. "Stop fooling me, Xander!" I snapped. He got startled by my outburst.

"Stop playing with my feelings! It's not fun anymore!" I cried. "I am sick and tired of being played by you or your mother for some sh*tty thing that I did not even do." I covered my face with both of my hands.

"This is not a game anymore, Gabrielle. I love you, I really do!" he said before trying to hold my hand.

"Stop!" I slapped his hand away. "Stop saying you love me because you don't! Stop breaking me, Xander! I'm so tired, please," I pleaded.

I looked at him directly in the eye. "You don't know how it feels to become a f*cking piñata having to endure every constant hit just for all of you to get the prize you have always wanted," I said.

He diverted his gaze to the ground. I took a deep breath, calming myself down.

"You have done enough damage. I will never forgive you so stop wasting your time," I said before leaving him there with a heavy heart.