(C6) Baby Steps
Jake stood up to answer the door, but only a moment before he allowed the other access, he looked back to see his old Husky cowering, making herself as small as physically possible. He almost had second thoughts about letting them in, but at this hour, it was freezing outside. No matter how much time she wished she could buy, nothing could be done now. She had to face her demons, some of them at least, whether she wanted to or not.
The boy opened the door, being greeted with the pups and Ryder, who were all wrapped up in their own warm pieces of clothing. He tried to open his mouth and welcome them, but before he even had the chance to say a simple hello, he found himself cut off.
"Where's Eve? I-is she okay?" The Dalmatian asked urgently, already poking his head inside the cabin. Any sign that she was fine, physically at least, was all it'd take to help release some of the built-up anxiety.
"Yeah, dude, she's alright. Come on inside, she's waiting for you," he beckoned, going back in. Beating the rest to it, Marshall instantly barrelled inside, eager to see his mate. He looked around, only to see no trace of the Husky. Even Jake seemed confused as he looked at the couch, seeing nothing but a blanket and an empty bowl of previously drunk hot chocolate. "What the....She was here just a second ago."
The Dally looked around anxiously, looking desperately for his love who he had been told was here and was safe. He looked up at the skier, hoping he'd be able to give him some sort of clue to her whereabouts. "W-where is she?"
The boy pondered the question for a moment, before coming to the only possible conclusion he could fathom. "Well, she could've gone into my room. I don't know why she would've but it's the only thing I can think of," he answered, equally as confused as the others.
Without even bothering to question it at all, Marshall headed in that direction, opening the door. At first, he saw nothing, but quickly made eye contact with a Husky, hiding in a corner and trembling in fear. At first, he was excited to see her, so naturally, he moved closer.
But when she whimpered and tried to back away, the Dally froze in his place, also taking note of her tail, which was in a position that usually represented fear. He was caught by surprise at first, but quickly realized why she was so nervous, or at least what he assumed the reason was.
After catching her with the knife to her heart, it made some sense why she was like this. He himself felt scared when she stopped him from a similar situation, but it wasn't to the point where he ran and hid, hence why part of him was saying this wasn't normal at all. Even for his standards.
"Eve, it's okay, I'm not mad at you," he whispered, making the Husky only slightly less tense. She put a paw forward, nearly stopping herself out of fear. She scanned the spotted pup for any sign of malicious intent, and to her surprise, she saw none. However, that didn't mean she'd be lowering her guard and making herself any more vulnerable than she already was.
Marshall slowly moved closer, making sure to come off as non-angry as he possibly could. Everest became noticeably more scared once the two became in arms reach, but to her shock, the Dally only hugged her. It made her anxious, but she didn't pull away, for the sole reason of knowing hugs always calmed him down, lowering his stress and fear from the two being away.
"P-please...d-don't hurt me. I-I'm s-sorry," she pleaded, too terrified and lost in her head to even hug back. Marshall noticed, and slowly ran his paw down her back, hoping that may comfort her the same way it did for him.
"Shhh I won't, don't worry, I'm not gonna hurt you. Just calm down, it's okay. O-or, well, i-it's gonna be okay soon." The Husky, finally snapping herself out of her train of thought, slowly wrapped her arms back around him, returning the favor.
"Y-you promise?" The Dally separated and planted a small kiss on her forehead, smiling as his mate looked at him in confusion, before he went back to the previous position of hugging her, this time for her comfort only.
"Yeah, I promise. B-but...why do you think I'm gonna hurt you? Does it have to do with earlier?" He asked in return. Everest nodded slightly, still not taking her head away from his fur. Her answer wasn't exactly the full truth, but it wasn't necessarily a lie either, which in itself was more than she'd usually give out.
"I-I'm s-so sorry, Marshy. I-it's not your fault, it's all mine. I know y-you probably think I'm weak, o-or pathetic," she whimpered, tears slowly coming down on his fur as the pressure built up inside her, and even that made her enraged with herself for letting him see her like this. However, it seemed that Marshall was reading her mind.
"Eve, it's okay, you can cry. I won't mind, just let it out, love." As if her eyes had been awaiting this permission, almost instantly she did as he encouraged. She clung onto him for dear life as the Dally did what he could to soothe her. "Shhh, you're not weak, y-you're the strongest one I know"
"N-no I'm not....H-he was right, I-I'm s-so stupid for f-feeling like this, I-I have no r-reason to." Marshall was slightly caught off guard, pulling away from her to look at her with a questioning expression. Everest realized her mistake, realizing she had said too much, but it was too late to take it back now.
"He? W-what do you mean?'' The Dally asked, worried that part of him already knew the answer to who she was referring to. And as much as he didn't want to be right, his mate's quiet whimpers to the question only proved him more correct.
However, instead of responding, Everest only stayed in his fur. Marshall noticed and didn't bother pushing further, assuming the answer was too much for her. But to his surprise, the Husky backed away, wiped her red eyes, and looked away from him, letting out a small sigh.
She could feel the bottoms of her paws become sweaty as her anxiety grew. She could tell the Dally wasn't mad at her, but she just wasn't sure if she was ready to dive into all of this. However, the look in the Dalmatian's eyes was anything but judgemental, and was starting to realize his true intentions. Maybe...telling him at least part of the truth wouldn't be too bad. He was supposed to love her after all, but then again, so was he.
"D-Damian..." She whispered, looking back at Marshall to see his posture change almost instantly from the reminder of that name, the same one that always had a fear factor to it, no matter the context. Naturally, Everest noticed immediately, feeling guilty for causing him this. "Nevermind, I-I'm sorry, Marshy. I shouldn't have brought him up. W-we don't have to talk about—"
"Eve, it's fine. I-I...I can handle it, it's you I'm worried about." Everest looked at him skeptically, raising an eyebrow both literally and metaphorically. Whether he was going to admit it or not, that Husky was still someone who tormented him in his head. She appreciated his efforts of wanting to help her, but if it was going to be causing him unnecessary stress and memories, then she was drawing the line early.
"Marshy, you're not fine. Y-you don't need to lie, I-I know you're still hurting in there. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have brought it up, let's j-just forget about this for now. Maybe we can talk about this another time," she reasoned, even if she knew she had no plans on there being another time she'd open up.
The Dalmatian naturally wanted to protest and tell her that he was fine, but even if he gave into that temptation, he knew it'd be making himself a hypocrite. Then again, he couldn't just stand by and continue to let her suffer. Not when he knew she was hurting.
"Ok...how about this," he began, an idea coming to his head. "Just try to explain it, ok? I know what you're gonna say, but if it gets to be too much, I'll tell you. Sound good?"
Everest sighed and smiled lightly, not surprised one bit by his actions and determination. "Do I have a choice?" She asked, only partially joking, unsure of if he'd attempt to use force to get her to talk.
"Well, yeah, but I think it'd help if you told me. Or y-you could tell someone else I guess, anyone really." The Husky shook her head and nuzzled him, getting herself locked into Marshall's arms in another warm embrace.
"Marshy, of course you'd be the one I'd tell. B-but...I-I just don't know, I-I'm sorry. It hurts too much, I-I don't think I can tell y-you everything," she answered, resting her head on his side. The Dally nodded understandingly, personally knowing the anxious feeling of telling someone about these sorts of things.
"Don't worry, that's fine. Maybe...you think you could just tell me one thing that's bothering you? Again, it's okay if not, I-I just...I just don't like standing here and doing nothing when I know I can at least try and help," he said, looking down from the slight disappointment brewing inside him.
Of course, it wasn't her he felt this way towards, it was the opposite. It was like he had done something wrong, and that he was at fault for her hidden feelings. He was her mate after all, shouldn't he be more than able to help her and notice when something was wrong?
He loved her, cherished her above all else, and yet here he was. Completely clueless about her problems, unable to help someone who had done everything she could for his own sake. He had to return the favor, do exactly what she had done for him, even if it meant he'd have to set himself aside. But, for the one he loved, it had to be worth it. It just had to be, any other way would make him feel guilty towards her than he already did.
Everest took note of his expressions, starting to guess what was going on in that head of his. Naturally, she didn't want him to feel bad, so she did the one thing she knew how to do. Put her health and feelings aside, and force herself to help him. Although it meant she had to reveal her secrets, or at least one of them, she was willing to do it for his sake alone.
"I-I guess I can try, b-but w-where am I supposed t-to start?" Marshall thought for a moment, quickly coming to the conclusion that he couldn't be the one to answer that question.
"Wherever you want," he answered, sending the Husky into a wandering state almost instantly. She had a few options to choose from, however, one stood out the most. Not because she wanted to get it out, but because she felt the Dally deserved to know. It wouldn't be right to hide that and keep him questioning himself.
Even if it felt like the entire world was against her, if there was any time she was gonna explain and come clean, it'd be now. Her mind was screaming not to, and her fear was only increasing the more she tried to force words out of her mouth. Part of her wondered if she could really do this, or how the Dally would even react, and if he'd judge her for her actions and feelings. There was just no way of knowing until she finally took control of her emotions and took this first step.
"W-well in that case, I-I guess you should know the truth. I'm s-scared." Marshall raised an eyebrow, curious as to what direction this was about to go in.
"Scared of what, Eve?" The Dally scooted closer to her, only for her to flinch back, looking up at him with worried eyes. It almost looked like she could burst into tears at any given moment, fear being driven into her mind like poison while the small part of it still functioning was trying to find the words to come off as best she could. As her heart was pounding in her chest, she made herself speak, almost wishing she could take it back as they began leaving her brain and out her mouth.
"Y-you...I-I'm scared of you."
"W-what? B-but, why?" The spotted pup asked, understandably shocked. Everest slapped herself mentally, being nearly positive this is what would happen, especially considering her poor choice of words.
"W-well, not you specifically. I-it's not your fault, it's j-just...it's him. Ugh, I'm sorry, t-this probably sounds stupid," she exclaimed. At first, she was expecting the Dally to feel guilty and upset before she had a chance to clarify, but instead, he only wrapped his front legs around her neck and nodded, signaling her to continue.
"It's okay, Eve. You don't have to tell me if you're not ready, I get it, I know it's not easy. Just take a deep breath, I'm not gonna judge you or hold anything against you." The husky shut her eyes and slowly moved her head up and down, slowly inhaling and exhaling in the process.
She was preparing herself for what might be one of, if not the, hardest conversations she'd have in her life. Reliving the past in words, bringing her back to what—or who—had driven her to these feelings that made her feel like she was crazy, or just making all this up in her head.
"D-Damian...I-I never really told you fully about him. I-I said he manipulated me into staying with him, b-but, t-that's not everything," she whimpered, moving her own arms around him for comfort. "He hit me, e-every time he thought I-I did something wrong. I-I was so scared of getting in trouble, i-it'd always hurt so much. E-even if I did nothing, if he got angry..."
The lavender Husky gripped her mate tighter, the tears once again swelling her eyes from the memories and pain. Even if she was partially still scared around him, at the moment he was the only form of relief she had. Or at least, the only thing she had with him around. It wasn't like she could go and hurt herself with him standing right there.
"I-I begged him so many times to stop, and every time he said he was sorry. That he swore this would be the last time. And m-me being the idiot I was back then, well, I believed him. B-but it only got worse. Physically...a-and mentally." Marshall nodded lightly, taking in her explanation. He knew she wasn't done, but he could already tell how hard this was on her. He licked her, hoping that might provide some sort of motivation, but if it worked, she didn't show it.
"I-I already wasn't doing the best then, but one day, h-he started telling me things, p-pushing me down. He always said I was worthless and would be better off dead. I was too weak, I-I ended up listening to him, and as you could imagine, t-that messed me up. I-I tried to talk to him about it, b-but...h-he said, if I really f-felt this way, I-I should just do the world f-favor and...k-kill...." The Husky stopped herself, not exactly on purpose, but the overwhelming emotions caused her to suddenly bawl her eyes out, holding Marshall closer than one would've thought possible.
The Dally was stunned, to say the least, hugging his mate as tightly as he could as she cried out about how sorry she was, and how scared she had been that he'd turn out like him. It almost felt like his mind had shut off, with empty void floating in his mind and the only thing he found himself doing was comforting her, not even thinking as he did so. He couldn't even process what he had been told, the image of her being abused in such ways, then continuing to live years in fear without telling anyone.
"I-it hurts so much, Marshy. I-I don't know what to do anymore, I'm s-scared. I know t-there's something wrong, I-I'm just not sure what. I'm s-sorry..."
"I know, I know it does. And it's okay to be scared, I-I am too" he cooed as calmly as he could, even if he felt empty and confused in the moment. Anxiety was spreading through his own mind now, not for himself, but whatever undeserving pain his mate was going through.
"A-alright, I-I'm sorry if this is making you worry. We d-don't have to talk about it anymore." Marshall shook his head and slowly rested his paw on hers, making sure to avoid her bandaged one.
"You don't have to be sorry, it's okay, I'm proud of you for telling me. And it's fine if you wanna stop, I know that wasn't easy." The husky sighed and cuddled him closer, breathing heavily as she attempted to regain her composure.
And eventually, she did just that, and processed the moment and situation she was in. Clearly, he didn't feel any sort of anger or judgment against her, just...understandment. Much more than she ever thought her messed up self would ever get from him.
"T-thanks, Marshy, I-I really need to get that out." Marshall smiled lightly and nodded, helping the Husky stand up alongside him, knowing she'd especially need it with her fresh injury, and of course her less recent one.
"Of course, and just so you know, I'll never do those things to you. I do care about you, not like he said he did." The lavender pup licked him, looking at him with a surprisingly calm expression.
"I know you wouldn't, I-I just can't help but worry that history will repeat itself. I-I mean, r-right? Or is that dumb? I-I don't know, Marshy, s-sorry. I'm such a mess." The Dally shook his head, removing some of her stress, but still nowhere near all of it.
"It's not dumb, I get it. You don't need to be sorry. Just let me know if you feel scared like that again, and I'll do what I can to help, okay?" The Husky smiled and nodded, this being one of her few genuine ones. "Great. Now, you wanna go see the others?"
"I-I guess, yeah sure. Just, please don't tell them about all of this. I don't think I'm ready yet," she requested, leaning on her mate again for stability, and partially her own comfort as the two slowly headed towards the door.
"I won't, that's fine," he answered, helping her make her way to the other room where the rest were waiting. Almost the second they walked in, the others ran up to them, worry being among one of their obvious features.
"Hey, you two, everything alright?" Their owner asked, looking down at them, his eyes coming to see the wrapped-up injury on the husky's paw. "Jeez, Jake was right when he said you had a pretty bad cut on your paw."
Everest gulped, trying to swallow her nervousness and guilt. She wasn't sure if he knew, but she was confident Ryder of all people surely wouldn't want to hear about her problems. Not on top of already stressing about Marshall.
"Y-yeah...I-I scratched in on a branch coming up here," she explained, her cheeks lightly turning a shade of red from the discomfort of lying to him.
"Everest, Jake already told me how that happened." The Husky's small smile slowly disappeared as anxiety settled in her mind. She looked past the boy's leg, seeing the rest of the pups with the same look of confusion and worry. Even Marshall had a frown of sympathy on his face, looking down at her paw. They knew. All of them.
She looked down in disappointment, waiting in anticipation for whatever the others would want to say to her. Seconds continued to pass until her patience got the best of her and made her look up, seeing surprisingly comforting faces.
"Listen, we're all concerned, but we aren't going to force it out of you, alright? Just know none of us are mad." The Husky nodded carefully, looking at the others for any sudden comments, but none seemed to come.
"Hey, Eve?" Marshall called out, snatching her attention. "Do you mind if I go talk to Ryder in private real quick, it'll only take a second?"
"Oh, no you're good. Go ahead," she replied. The dally nodded and Ryder, despite clearly not knowing the exact reason why he was needed, followed alongside him, having a vague suspicion.
"This has to do with Everest, doesn't it?" He asked as Marshall brought the two got into a secluded room, away from any possible eavesdropping. Well, it was mainly his mate he didn't want hearing, knowing she'd be against this idea.
"Y-yeah, I need a favor. Do you mind if I call Haley?" The boy instantly reached for his pup-pad to grant him his request, but froze as the sudden realization came to his mind, causing him to take a mental step back.
"Wait, you're going there later today. Are you sure you need to talk to her now?" The Dally nodded determinedly, clearly not taking no for an answer. Ryder shrugged and handed the device over, seeing no reason in disagreeing.
The spotted pup called her, and within just a few rings, a familiar voice rang through. "H-hey Ryder, what's up?" She greeted, doing everything in her power to sound awake, which succeeded greatly with Marshall. However, unknown to him, the buzzing of her phone just now had forced her out of bed, leaving her to put this act up to seem professional. Or, perhaps from slight embarrassment and intent to not come off as lazy.
"Oh, this is Marshall, not Ryder," he informed her, letting out a small laugh, which echoed back to him through the other voice, the girl realizing her mistake that came with the cost of just waking up.
"Ah ok, well, what's up? Everything still good for today's session?" The Dally wasn't exactly sure how to answer, well, he knew he personally was ready for his visit. Excited, even. But then again, he wasn't the reason he called.
"Yeah, but I wanted to ask you something else. C-can you set up a second appointment today? After mine?" He requested, hoping for a positive answer in response, dying to hear the answer he needed, despite it not being for his own sake, through the other side of the screen.
"Well...yeah, that's fine. I'll have to talk to Ryder about it but I'm sure he'd be fine with it too. Did something happen?" She asked, bringing Marshall to an answer he hated, but this was what had to be done.
"I-I...I'm worried about Eve, and I-I know I can't help her as much as I want to. But you might be able to. T-the appointment isn't for me, Haley, it's for her."
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