Chapter 25: Pieces 

That night was tranquil. It was cloudless and the Pokemon surrounding our camp made soft, reassuring noises that sounded like a natural, ancient music. It was absolutely peaceful, though Dawn and I were both lost in our own thoughts. I didn't know about her, but I was thinking about our earlier conversation and didn't really want to be bothered. 

"I wonder how Ash is doing." Dawn looked up at the starry sky and kicked her feet back and forth. 

For some reason I felt angrier than usual at the mention of Ash. Recently, he was all that she ever talked about. My voice boiled with loathing, "Why did you even travel around with him, anyway?" 

Dawn, startled, stopped kicking her feet. "What do you mean?" 

"He's an idiot, Dawn. Has he gotten any stronger since he first became a Trainer?" 

"Of course he has!" 

"Prove it."

"He beat you." Dawn held her chin higher. 

"A fluke." I waved my hand airily. 

"Whatever," Dawn muttered. "Ash is still a great guy no matter what you say." 

"You mean like your Contest boyfriend?" I snorted. 

Dawn opened her mouth, quiet for a couple seconds before yelling, "Where is this coming from?" 

A good question. Where was this coming from? 

I paused, trying to come up with a decent retort, "If you haven't noticed, every guy you've ever hung out with is just chasing your skirt." 

Dawn laughed. "Wow, Paul. Since when do you care?" Then she paused, "Are you counted under the category of 'every guy' when it comes to chasing after my skirt?" 

"Of course not." I shifted my weight. "I'm just informing you of what's happening because you seem too oblivious to even notice when a guy is taking interest in you." 

Dawn looked at me solemnly. "I think I can tell when a guy is interested in me all by myself." 

A very awkward silence passed while I stared back into her blue eyes before turning away. "So, tell me about this apparent skill you have. I never would have guessed you could do more than sit and play dead." 

Dawn ignored my jab. "What about it?" 

"I'm not going to believe you until you give me examples, Dawn," I said testily. "Prove you can tell if boys are attracted to you." 

"Like who, Ash?" Dawn laughed. "He never liked me as more than a friend." 

"And how do you know that?" 

Dawn rolled her eyes. "Ash told me about a friend he had traveled around with in Kanto, the Orange Islands, and Johto. He mentioned her quite a lot, actually." Her lip quirked up. "It was almost annoying. It was 'Misty this' and 'Misty that'. Not a day went by when she wasn't mentioned." 

"So? How does that prove he likes her?" I scoffed.  

Dawn's smile softened. "You didn't see how he lit up every time he mentioned her." 

I turned away, pondering what Dawn had told me about Ash. It fit his personality- being weak enough to not let someone go from his life, to be unable to grow because of the distraction of a girl. Still, he had left her behind and continued his journey without her. I'd never heard of this Misty before. I wondered if she was as wimpy as Ash. 

"I think they'll get married one day. Isn't that amazing to think about?" Dawn sighed happily. 

"Stupid seems like the better word," I answered. 

Dawn sat up straighter and gave me a stern look. "What's so stupid about it?" 

"Marriage," I said the word repulsively, "never works out and that's why it's illogical to even attempt." 

"It does too work out!" 

"Oh yeah?" I argued. "What about your mother? Was she ever married?" 

"Well...."

"And what about Ash? Was his mom ever married? She lives alone now, that's what you told me." 

"But-" 

"And you also told me Brock had to take care of all of his brothers and sisters like he was a slave. Gee, I wonder why? His parents must have gotten along swimmingly if Brock had to act as his own parent, not to mention everyone else's." 

"Paul, you're doing it again."

"What? Being hopeless?" I smiled darkly. "Dawn, that's kind of my thing." 

She stared at her boots. Without looking up, she asked, "What about your parents?" 

I remained silent, pondering what to tell her. No one had ever asked me that before. No one had cared-or at least been rude enough to worm their way into my personal life without an invitation. 

I shrugged. "Divorce." 

I tensed as the word came out rougher than I had wanted it to. 

"I'm really sorry, Paul." She sounded sincerely sorry for me. I sensed her blue eyes staring at me and refused to meet them. "What happened, exactly?" 

I shrugged again. "They were just immature teenagers with no foresight. My mom got knocked up with my dad and had Reggie. They had a perfect little life together till I was born six years later. When I was about five, my parents got divorced. Reggie lived with my dad and I lived with my mom." 

I picked a twig off the ground and fiddled with it. "I've been told by my mother that I was the reason for the divorce and that I was a mistake that was never meant to be born. She always leaves out the part where perfect Reggie was also a mistake, but who am I to complain?" 

The twig snapped in my hand and I stared at the fragments, observing how many splinters broke off in the process of the separation. 

"So that's why you never celebrated your birthday?" Dawn asked quietly. 

"My mom decided not to notice it was my birthday every year. And my present was solitude," I answered. 

"I didn't know that. Reggie never mentioned it to us..." Dawn trailed off. 

"Yeah, well, Reggie enjoys having a perfect life, even if it's full of lies. Why bother mention the fact that his little brother wasn't strong enough to keep the family together?" 

"Paul, it wasn't your fault your parents divorced."

"What would you know?" I sneered. "You don't know anything, you had a perfect, prissy little childhood. How would you know anything about how I feel or whose fault it was?" 

"...My dad left when I was eight. He had a drug problem," Dawn whispered. 

My curled lip fell back over my teeth in surprise as I stared at her as if I'd never looked at her properly before. 

She began speaking again, "He left a lot when I was little too, for weeks at a time. I always asked my mom where he went and she just lied and said he was working. That he had important things to do to help his company.  

"It never fooled me. He would come home and act differently. Even when he was home, he still wasn't really there." She paused and closed her eyes as if suppressing the memories before looking at me again. "He left for good when I was eight, but I don't feel like I've ever had a real dad. It's just been me and my mom. I haven't seen my dad since." 

I took a deep breath. "I didn't know that." 

She nodded. 

I never would have guessed that Dawn had had a rough childhood. She seemed so optimistic and cheerful all the time. Too much so, even. Not to mention she was loved and popular. 

Yet again I had assumed something about her. When would I learn from my mistakes? 

I'd never wanted to even associate with people. The only thing I'd ever strove for was to be the best. To beat everyone in my path, to prove I was worthy of being here, to show that I was better than Reggie who seemed perfect and cared for by everyone he met. 

"I've had to fight for everything I have, all by myself, and that's made me who I am. That's why I travel alone." I threw the remains of the stick aside. "I'm sorry that you were abandoned by your dad. I can honestly say I know how that feels." 

I stood up and walked over to the nearest tree and leaned against it, facing away from Dawn. 

"I don't feel abandoned anymore. I've met a lot of people who really care about me." I heard her footsteps near me. "And you know, you don't have to feel alone. I'm here." 

"Because I lost a bet." My mouth quirked up against my will.  

Dawn laughed, the sound filling the night air. It was soothing, the sound of her laugh. Like a lullaby. I closed my eyes and mentally shook my head, wondering why I found her laugh comforting all of a sudden when every other time I had found it irritating.  

"Hey, Paul?" 

"Yeah?" I turned to face her. 

She bit her lip and looked away from me, meeting my eyes hesitantly. "If you were anyone else, I wouldn't ask permission, but I was wondering if I could hug you." 

"Hug me?" my voice was incredulous. 

"Yeah, you know. When people embrace each other, usually because-" 

"I know what a hug is, nitwit." I crossed my arms as if to protect myself from her body coming closer. "I remember Meteor Falls." 

I'd pushed my way out of her arms, disgusted by her touch. A small wave of guilt rose inside me and I struggled to destroy it. I owed her nothing. 

She rolled her eyes. "I doubt you know how to give or receive one." 

"Of course I can execute a hug. I wasn't born yesterday." I cautiously put my hands in my pockets. 

"Fine. Then you'll have no problem with me giving you one." 

Before I knew it, her skinny, weak arms were wrapped around my back and her head was pressed against my chest. My eyes opened wide with shock and I tried to remember the last time I was hugged by anyone and allowed it. Maybe when I was six... 

She squeezed me with her arms with surprising power and I felt the warmth of her body against mine. Hesitantly, attempting to unfreeze my limbs, I wrapped my arms around her back, pulling her closer. 

It was an intimacy I'd never had before, hugging.  

We stayed embraced for about a minute, a much longer hug than I can ever remember receiving- mostly because I was repulsed at the idea of contact. But this? I actually liked the hugging Dawn much more. For one, she didn't talk. She didn't ruin the silence, my thoughts. She just stood curled against me, fitting against my body as I never knew two people could do. 

My heart began beating a little faster, adrenaline rushing into my system for reasons I couldn't find. This closeness was different, yes, but why should it affect me so? 

Dawn pulled away first and I had to force my hands to release their grip, to let her move away. She paused as she moved her hands in front of her, brushing against my jacket. Her eyes met mine and I noticed the very little distance between us, just inches, how her mouth was hanging ajar and how much less angry I felt at her and the world than I did a couple minutes ago. 

As I continued studying her, she pushed away from me and went back to our campfire, tugging at her hair. 

I remained still for a minute, processing how much colder the world felt now that Dawn wasn't near, how the unwelcome hurt began creeping back into me. I shook my head- I was being ridiculous. Foolish. 

"Are you ok?" I asked as I approached her. 

She'd been staring at the fire, her foot bouncing impatiently. Startled, she looked at me with wide eyes as if she'd forgotten I was there. "Oh, yeah. I'm fine." 

Her voice was too high pitched for me to believe. Too forced. 

"Dawn-" 

"I'm going to bed." She got up and went to get backpack, pulling out a sleeping bag without looking at me. "Good night." 

I opened my mouth, then closed it. Why was she acting so strangely? 

Deciding that Dawn's thoughts were too coded to decipher, I sighed and pulled out my own sleeping bag. With one last glance at Dawn's unmoving form, I closed my eyes and waited for sleep to take me.