A/N: Hey guys! I've missed you all. Sorry for the 3 month break, I literally can't form any kind of story during those months, but I'm back now :D

As usual, enjoy reading! Anyways, that title is one of Illenium's song. If you're not familiar with it, give it a listen, it's beautiful! :)

*Y/N's P. O. V. *

"So you're still single, huh? It's been like, what, two years already since your last boyfriend, right?" my friend that I haven't seen for a long time asked me out of the blue.

Great, here comes the questions already. This is one of the reason why I almost didn't come to this reunion. The people here are the ones I'm with during that relationship. Everyone knows we're the power couple back then that just went off too soon.

"Yeah. I'm not counting the days though. Just enjoying doing stuff alone," I answered politely, wishing that that's the first and last question.

"It's Patrick, right? Honestly, I still can't believe you two broke up or didn't make up again," she continued which just made me smile at her, "You two seemed like the perfect couple."

Yeah.

Maybe that's why I'm still not fully over it.

"Well, things happen. We can never be too sure of anything," I replied and thankfully, that was the end of that topic.

Sadly, my mind is now directed to it again. Even when the venue is booming with music and conversations, my mind drifted away. I began to think about it again...about him again...about us again.

Like what my friend said, it's already been two years, yet I still find myself in this kind of situation.

I guess, I really am not over it yet.

~~~Flashback~~~

"Patrick, what's going on, talk to me, please," The tension inside the apartment is already high. I can feel it filling up the air and I always hated it whenever this happens. Unfortunately, it keeps happening lately.

"I can't. I can't keep up with you anymore." Patrick is pacing back and forth, he looked so stressed and his words are full of pain.

My heart became heavier when I heard his words. I just know that he's like this because of me.

"W-what?" I asked, obviously shocked and confused.

Patrick and I have been together for three years and almost everyone on campus that knows us dubbed us as the 'power couple'. With no exaggeration, it really is like that. We both bring out the best of each other, we're similar in so many ways, and our voices perfectly match each other.

The passion to music is what connected us. I met him during the second year of college when he was just a lost guy with a big dream and talent. A kind of guy that's going with a flow, but wants to take control of the tide eventually. It's obvious that he really loves music and he wants to build a path towards that dream, but during that time, he just doesn't know how to start that.

Before we met, I made a pact to myself to start doing things to maximize the potential of my talent. Like him, I wanted to create a path to dreams and I started to do it. Coincidentally, we met, our talents and personalities matched and that's where it all started. He has found a way to start walking that path with someone beside him and I now have someone to share my pact with. Everything was perfect.

But of course, it wasn't just about our talents and dreams. Everything became brighter when I was with him. Life became more enjoyable and I'm very happy to spend a lot of time with him. To say that I really love him is not even enough to explain how I appreciate and love the guy and I know he feels the same thing too. I can say that because he really treats me like what he always calls me - a princess.

Sadly....good things also fall apart.

"Y/N, I'm tired. These gigs, these rehearsals, these shows...and then you keep adding more. We're not superhumans, we're not even professionals in this field yet you act like we can carry all of these baggage," he answered me.

"Isn't this the thing that we've always wanted? Patrick, we're slowly reaching our dreams, ---

"Yes, but not 24/7. Y/N, these activities have eaten most of our time for the last five months. We can't even talk to each other anymore without mentioning work," he said, now talking and looking directly at me. I can see through his eyes that he's had enough which is starting to break me right there. The way he said work is heartbreaking too. Patrick never looked at gigs like that, but now he sees it as work...a tiring burden one, "Look. I love doing this and I'm forever thankful that I got here with you but, god, it's tiring and draining and honestly, Y/N, I couldn't even reach you anymore too. We're always alone together yet I feel like you're centuries away. Princess, career is not the only thing I need," he continued his tone leaning more on the pained tone now.

I can feel the lump in my throat now and I'm beginning to feel the tears on the corner of my eyes. I wanted to answer him, to say something and reason out, but I couldn't. In a way, yes, what he's saying is true. I've been so SO passionate about these things lately that I have became way into it. I realized that music and this career has engulfed the whole of me.

"For the last five months, we've been to different places. Places that you've always wanted to travel, yet when we get there you poured all your time...our time to practice. I'm not saying you shouldn't, Im not saying to abandon our dreams, but couldn't you have at least left some time for yourself? You've let it consume you. All of you. There's nothing left for yourself...and me." Even when ranting and arguing, his voice never raised. I really appreciate that it wasn't an outburst of loud angry words, because if it is, I'd already be a crying mess here.

But a part of me thinks this is worse, cause right now...all I feel is guilt and pain. I didn't want this, I didn't purposely want this to happen... I hated seeing him like this.

I was pulled from my thoughts when I realized Patrick walked closer and held my hand.

"I'm sorry. It's just that I'm used to taking the lead when it comes to this. You told me once to just grab your hand and reach our dreams and I did. I just want us to do that," I said with a shaky voice while looking at him. Patrick smiled at me, a smile that was always so bright and beautiful, but now it's just full of pain and sadness.

"Y/N, I really really do mean that and I'm so thankful that you did. But we're more than that...Y/N, I don't need you to be a mentor, I needed you to be my girlfriend. I guess you forgot about that," he said.

I felt a sharp sting on my heart. I've never wanted him to feel this way. Like I said, I really love this guy so much and hearing this coming from him.....that I fell short for being a companion to him and knowing to myself that he's right is a big blow on me.

I became fixated on the wrong thing, I thought I always needed to do things to keep us on track...but I guess that will be the reason that will throw us off again.

Patrick pulled me into a hug and that's when I realized I'm already crying, "I'm sorry," I whispered, not knowing what else to say.

"I know. Your passion is beautiful Y/N and I want you to keep going and do your best at it, but I think, I can't be here anymore. I would have loved to stay because I truly truly love you, but we're not on the same ship anymore and I can't let myself slow you down. We now need and want different things," he explained and that's when I realized I really did fuck up.

I understood him though. It was mostly my fault and my mistake to look and focus on the wrong thing. It was painful to realize that we lost this because of what I did. I really did forgot to be a partner to him.

We both let each other go by then. Not really knowing if we'd have out paths cross in the future again.

~~~End of Flashback~~~

I stopped myself from thinking anymore before I cry myself in this public place.

I took deep shaky breath to stabilized myself and to focus on the current situation around me. I just need to enjoy being here with old friends and get my mind out of that moment.

I really need to let it all go by now.

As the night continued, I, thankfully, became better. I pushed myself to talk with some old friends again to keep my mind busy and it did work. I'm actually enjoying myself now that I got past that moment earlier.

Some friends still bring up the topic, but at least now I'm more composed than earlier. I was more ready for the questions and handled it pretty well. Most of them didn't really know what happened so it's understandable why they are curious. Of course, I just answered them in general and thankfully, that was enough for them.

I honestly thought that I'd be ready for anything about him, but I guess you really can't prepare for everything.

"Oh my god, that's Patrick! I thought he's not in the state?" one girl from my circle said while looking afar.

My heart began to beat faster. I didn't know if I want to look at the way she's looking or just book it out of the venue. It's not that because I did something wrong, or not that I'm ashamed...I wasn't just ready for this. It wasn't in my plan to see him. I haven't seen him in two years, I haven't seen him since that day.

And even with those years without a sight of him, he's still in my mind...what more if I saw him again?

"Hey, guys! It's been a while!" I heard his voice and now, there's no way out of this.

I finally forced myself to look at where the voice came from. He's already here standing close to our circle, smiling and waving enthusiastically. Patrick was scanning the circle too and stopped his eyes on me.

I can tell that he was a little taken back, but he's more composed that I am now. He gave me a sincere smile, "It's been a while, punk," he said, using the nickname he gave me when we became friends.

I chuckled and smiled at him too, "Yeah, we didn't expect that you'd make it," I said as calmly as I can.

"Well, my girlfriend had a trip here so I figured we should just travel together so, here I am," he answered and I casually nodded like everything is perfectly normal.

He already has a girlfriend. Honestly, I am happy for him. He seemed glowing too.

My friends already gave him a seat within our circle, obviously all of them are interested to know what's he been up to and I am too.

But unlike them, I'm not sure if I can take this long knowing that he's way...way better now.

A/N: Welp, that's that. I hope you guys are with me 💕 Sorry if this is already starting a little painful, Valentine's just ended and I'm here with the angst again. Forgive me. Lol

Anyways, thanks for reading!!!