Requested by: 1-800-justdie
Enjoy, lovelies!

*Y/N's P. O. V. *

"'Trick, I think I won't be going to the Ball Dance later," I told my friend, Patrick, about my sudden decision.

We're both college seniors and that ball dance will probably be the last event we'll be able to attend before graduating. I was actually excited about it for the last couple of weeks, I've also been readying for it - trying to prepare an outfit that I can wear. But just today, my anxiety decided to get in a car, accelerated it so fast and crashed it into me - making me rethink my decision of attending that party.

"What do you mean you're not going?" Y/N, that'll be our last party here. Our friends will be there and it'll be a great night!" Patrick exclaimed and he's actually saying the truth. Our college is not that big and the community and students are somehow meeting halfway. The both of us also has a lot of friends that would probably be shocked if I'm not there, "What's the problem?" he asked sincerely.

Honestly? It's my weight.

Back when I was just a freshman, I'm not this chubby. I was fit back then and my body didn't bother me. But as school works came and stress became more apparent, I developed a habit of stress-eating. I would eat and eat to ease the stress and also keep me up at night to finish school works and now I have this body. It's not that I hate it, it's just that sometimes I would get so discouraged by how I look. Anxiety would get the best of me and my confidence will just melt away...and that's what's happening right now.

I'm sure everyone will be looking so beautiful tonight and I don't think I can be that.

"Y/N? Hey, what's wrong?" Patrick asked more worriedly this time. He's staring at me with worry and waiting for me to answer.

"It's nothing, I just don't feel ---

"I know you, you wouldn't back down without a reason, Y/N. What is it?" Patrick asked. Sometimes, I hate the fact that this guy knows me so much.

I just met him three years ago and we were both freshman then. We immediately became best friends, really becoming inseparable quickly.

"I don't think I can look good to be in that kind of party, Patrick. I just...well, it's hard to explain. I've gained a lot of weight for the past few months and that can really be seen now---

"And so? What about it?" Patrick was clueless and he actually looked cute. I chuckled at him.

"I'm chubby and I'm not confident enough today to be in there. I'll just end up having an anxiety attack in there, probably won't stop thinking about how I look," I confessed.

Patrick's the only person that I feel comfortable with while opening up about these kinds of things. I guess it's because it goes both ways, we've helped each other a lot now and we know each others troubled thoughts. We're just trying to help each other keep those thoughts at bay.

"Y/N, I've seen you try the dress you bought a week ago and I was stunned. I honestly wanted to have dance with you right that moment," Patrick murmured. His eyes were fixated on me and I saw his pupils dilating a bit.

Suddenly, I felt a burn on my cheeks.

"I-I mean,..." he stuttered, also having a pink blush on his cheeks, "I mean you look perfect...on anything honestly. Y/N, being able to look good doesn't rely on weight or on physical appearance. Being able to look good is all about being contented and confident about yourself, and trust me, you should be because for me, you're already perfect. Don't let a mere weight weigh you down," he stated, leaving me stunned,"No pun intended," he added which made us both laugh.

Patrick's words stuck in my head, making my heart beat a little faster. There were not hint of lies on his words and it's not just to flatter me, I can feel that he meant everything.

"But seriously though, you look perfect. There's nothing wrong with you, nothing wrong with your weight or anything! I'm actually so so proud that I'm the one taking you to the party. I'd be able to show the whole campus that I'm with a very stunning girl. Come on, Y/N, don't leave me out on this," he said with that puppy eyes of his.

"Jeez, Patrick, I'm supposed to be feeling anxiety...now it's all just butterflies in my stomach," I murmured. I'm so sure that I'm blushing so much.

For the past year, Patrick and I had this unspoken relationship which we know is something more than friendship, but now I guess it's finally being spoken.

"Then we'll help each other keep it at that state to shoo the anxiety away." Patrick smiled at me beautifully, "Don't let me be a lonely potato tonight. Come on, princess," he said.

"If you call yourself a potato, then hot damn, you're a really good looking potato," I said playfully. "Fine, I'll go...just so you won't be lonely. I don't ever want you to feel that."

"That's my girl," he said with a proud smirk, hugging me playfully.

Yes indeed, the unspoken relationship is being completely spoken and I'm loving for it.

~~~Short Time Skip~~~

Confidence is key.

That's what stayed with me the most and I actually tried to be. It was hard, but Patrick is right.

'You look so pretty, Y/N,'
'Oh, you're owning that dress, Y/N'
'Y/N, oh my god, walk it, babe!'

Those were just some of the comments that I've heard from our friends and I'm really overwhelmed. They're also not just saying that to flatter me, they really are shocked to see me like this and I am too.

This is so different from the past couple of weeks where I'm literally hiding my body away. I'm always wearing loose clothes or doesn't go out at all because I don't want people to see me, but now I'm just all out - wearing this cocktail dress that fits my body just right. It's still showing the chubby curves, but I'm finding myself confident in it.

Being confident might be hard to do but being able to be like that really makes all the difference.

"Told you, you're perfect," Patrick walked up to me, immediately saying that to my face. I giggled at him, he looked so good in that suit of his too.

"Thank you. You look so perfect too, Patrick," I told him.

"Care to dance with me?" He lend out his hand and I put mine over it without hesitation.

We slow danced on the dance floor and his all attention was focused on me and the same goes with my attention to him. Without words, we were communicating with our eyes and I can see that we're both thankful that we're together - bringing the best side of each other.

"Don't let anything like that bring you down, Y/N. The people who loves you will accept you no matter what and will always see you perfectly no matter what. People who judges you negatively about those things are the insecure ones because they believe that they have to be in a perfect shape to look good and decent. Being contented, happy, and confident is what's going to make you look good, never forget that," Patrick said against my ears.

We're still slow dancing there. Patrick has his hands around my waist and I have my arms warped over his shoulders. We're just smiling at each other, I can't believe I'mso lucky to have this guy with me.

"Hey, by the way, Y/N..." Patrick casually said while cutely chuckling to himself, "Have I already told you that I love you?" he murmured wo cutely that it almost made me explode.

"Huh, I really don't know but I could have sworn that I'm the one who said that to you. You know, how much I love you?" I said while stupidly smiling at him.

"Well, I guess we have said it to each other then," Patrick shrugged playfully and then letting out an adorable laugh, "Love you, my stunning and perfect, princess," he murmured, gently placing a kiss on my forehead.

"I love you too, my handsome and perfect, prince," I murmured.

///
A/N: I'm basically Y/N here. I'm kinda chubby now (i'd like to think that it's not that bad but I have a ton of belly fat, see pic below)

and that fact is honestly getting into my thoughts sometimes that I'd be so discouraged to even go out. Idk why, but I just feel like people are judging me for it and I feel like I don't look good. If you guys have been here since 3 years ago, you can remember me posting pictures and it's obvious I've gained weight...a lot.

I try to be confident and I believe in what Patrick was saying here. There are days where I can own my outfit, but sometimes I feel like I can't.

But to everyone who's going through the same thing, well, just read what Patrick said again because that's also my message to you.

It might seem ironic that I'm giving advice to something I'm also struggling with, but hey, I can say I'm trying to not be bothered by it.

Anyways, that's enough rambling. Thanks for reading!