This chapter is dedicated to MarilynJansenVanRens -- thanks for all your support throughout the years. You rock, lady :)

Epilogue – A Choice

The house looks as if I never left when I pull up the driveway. Has it really been a year? My first semesters at college have been flying. Though I've been back to Chicago a handful of times, I stayed with some new friends I made at Purdue or at a hotel to avoid my family. Frequent Skype call with Alyssa were confirmation enough that Marcus still keeps his hands off my siblings, though, according to my sister, my mom hasn't been so lucky. Once, Marcus even got her arrested after she hit him over the head with a bottle. The charges are still pending.

I shut off the engine and stare at the house. If my mom hadn't texted to swing by and pick up a graduation present for Rena, I wouldn't even be here. With a sigh, I get out of the car. Five minutes—and not a second longer.

Opening the front door, an eerie silence greets me. It's so quiet that even the clicking of the hands on the grandfather clock in the foyer startle me.

"Mom?" I close the door behind me and slip out of my shoes. Hopefully, she has the present wrapped and ready to go. "Mom, I'm here. Where are you?"

When there's no answer, I venture further into the foyer. My eyes get stuck on the clock. It's just past one. Since her car is in the driveway, she must be home, so the silent treatment could only mean she had enough alcohol already to drink herself into oblivion.

I freeze on the threshold to the living room before my hand clutches over my mouth. There, in the middle of the room, lies my mom, her body twisted in a grotesque angle. A pool of blood has formed under her head. With his back turned to me, Marcus is gazing down on her.

I breathe in sharply. "Oh my god, what did you do?" The words are shrill and hurt my ears.

As he slowly turns, I notice the baseball bat that is clutched in his hand. He stares right through me as if I weren't even there. Eyes glazed over, he takes a tentative step toward me. I duck with a shriek, my arms cradling my head. The bat clanks onto the floor. Peeking through the gaps between my fingers, I watch as he passes me so closely that his hip almost brushes my shoulder. His steps are robotic and he doesn't even look at me once. Without stopping, he walks out the front door. The slam that vibrates through the house tears me from the surreal moment.

"MOM!" I'm next to her with three long strides, squatting down to feel her pulse. Nothing. Her chest is barely rising. In a panic, I fumble through my pockets until I realize that my phone is in my purse out in the car. Fuck.

"ALYSSA!" Where the hell is my sister when I need her?

Lamar's small face peeks around the living room door. "Is mom okay?"

I want to scream "NO" but don't want to scare him. "Lamar, can you get my purse from my car. It's right in the passenger seat and the car is unlocked."

He disappears. On second thought, I should have gone myself. There's nothing I can do for my mom other than hold her hand. I squeeze hard but she doesn't even groan. More and more blood is seeping out onto the dark hardwood floor.

I'm just about to abandon her and look for the phone myself when Lamar comes trotting into the living room. His face is streaked with tears and his jeans shorts are soaked around his crotch where he must have pied his pants. Though I want to hug him and tell him that things will be fine, getting help has priority. With trembling hands, I dial nine-one-one.

"Nine-one-one, what's your emergency?"

"I need an ambulance for my mom."

"What's wrong with your mom?"

"She is bleeding from her head and is barely breathing."

"Is she unconscious?"

"Yes."

"Okay, are you with her now?"

"Yes."

"And are you at sixty-nine-fourteen Sheridan Road?"

"Yes."

A crackle disturbs the line before mumbled words drift through the receiver. Hell, what is taking her so long?

Then she is back on. "Okay, I dispatched an ambulance to your address. Now, what's your name?"

"Patrice. Patrice Forrester."

"And what's your mom's name?"

"Chantal Forrester."

"And Patrice, do you have any idea how your mom might have gotten hurt?"

I close my eyes and let out a shaky breath. This time, the truth will come out. "It was my dad. He beat her with a baseball bat."

~~~~

The constant smell of disinfectant is making me sick to my stomach. For four hours, I've been pacing the waiting area in front of the ICU and not even once have I been told about my mom's condition. Alyssa and Lamar are cuddled up on two plastic chairs with their arms intertwined. At some point, they've run out of tears and now stare blankly into space. I'm not sure how to comfort them since I'm a total mess myself. It won't take much for me to scream hysterically and I want to kick the shit out of the vending machine. Its endless humming is like a dull blade, chipping away at my strained nerves.

When the doors to the ICU open again, I lunge at the doctor, desperate for answers. "Doctor, please. Can you tell me how my mom—I mean, Chantal Forrester—is doing?"

He looks at a clipboard. "Are you Patrice?"

"Yes."

"Unfortunately, it's too early to make predictions. All I can say is that she is in a coma and the next twenty-four hours will be crucial."

That means he isn't sure she'll make it. A sob escapes. "Please, can I see her?"

"Unfortunately not. My colleagues are still with her." His head turns to listen to a page from the loudspeakers. "Sorry, that's me." He's already halfway to the elevator, when he spins around. "And Patrice, don't go anywhere. The police want to talk to you."

All I can do it nod. The wait continues. I pace back and forth, afraid to lose my mind if I sit down. My buzzing phone has me jump. At first, I'm just going to let the voicemail answer, but then I recognize Rena's number. Fuck, I missed her graduation.

With a sigh, I pick up. "Rena, I'm sorry. I forgot all about your graduation."

"Is everything okay?"

"No." A sob chokes my breath. "My dad beat my mom with a baseball bat really badly. I'm at the hospital. My mom is in a coma. The doctors don't even know if she'll make it."

She lets out a mumbled oh my god. "I'll be right there. Which hospital are you at?"

"St. Joseph."

Not even fifteen minutes later, she walks through the door with Kade in tow. Without a word, I throw my arms around her neck and weep against her shoulder. Her tight embrace gives me strength and when she finally lets go, I feel a little better.

Kade squeezes my arm. "I called my mother. She'll be here soon."

I nod though I'm not sure how my mom's lawyer can help. It's a little late for a protection order.

Rena has kneeled down next to Lamar and Alyssa and talks softly to them. Lamar is sucking his thumb and has started to cry again. I'm too exhausted to deal with him. The worry for my mom is like a constant throb that immobilizes not only my mind but every other command that doesn't involve pacing the room. When Rena grabs Lamar's and Alyssa's hands with a cheerful "let's get some juice", I'm utterly relieved that she is taking the lead to distract them.

Kade sits down and just watches me pace. Minutes dwindle down in slow motion, the waiting is slowly driving me nuts. My mind is blank except for one horror scenario that keeps replaying in my mind.

What if my mom dies?

I desperately try not to think about it. Maybe going home with Lamar and Alyssa until the doctors can tell me something more definite would be better than just wait here and going crazy. But what if Marcus comes back? He has a key.

My chasing thoughts are interrupted when a man and a woman walk into the waiting area. Both steer straight toward me. Badges dangle from their neck. Police officers, without a doubt.

"Patrice Forrester?"

"Yeah."

"Can we sit down and talk about your mom?"

I stare at Kade, then at them again. Their smiles look fake. I don't like them. "I'm only speaking to Captain Kerry Grazier."

More pacing. Words bounce off of me as if they weren't even spoken—I only know when people are talking because of their moving lips. Even Rena can't break through after she returns with Lamar and Alyssa. It's as if I'm walking around in a really vivid nightmare from which I can't wake up. Only the surreal buzzing in my ears gets louder and louder.

Kade finally forces me to sit down. "Patrice, you have to stop!"

His shout is like a wakeup call. I blink a few times. The waiting area is coming back into focus. Warmth spreads in my cheeks when I realize everyone is staring at me.

"Sorry."

"Don't be." He holds up a candy bar. "Eat this."

"I'm not hungry."

"Doctor's orders." When I don't move, he grunts. "Just eat the damn thing."

I peel the chocolate out of its wrapper. It's mint—my favorite—something only Rena knows. I smile at her. Nibbling on the chocolate actually makes me feel better. The buzzing is almost gone.

"Here. Now drink this."

It's Lucozade, something I usually avoid because of its calories, but Kade's grim face leaves no doubt he means business. I obediently take a few gulps. My willpower returns. Alyssa and Lamar need me. I can't allow to let myself go.

My head turns when Kerry walks through the door together with Pam Fallon. Squatting down next to me, a deep wrinkle cuts across her forehead. "How are you holding up?"

"Honestly, not good."

"I can ask the police to postpone your interview for a few days."

The prospects lift a ton of pressure off my chest. "If that's possible?"

"I'll take care of it. But one thing I need to know straight away and I need you to sign a sworn statement to that effect. Did Marcus do this?"

Tears flood my eyes when I nod. "I shouldn't have stayed away for so long. Maybe I could have stopped him."

She squeezes my hand. "There's nothing you could have done. If you had tried to stop him, he would have beaten you, too."

"What will happen now?"

"A judge will issue a warrant for his arrest. I've already had some of my colleagues check at the house and at work. So far, no sign of him."

"Is it safe to take Alyssa and Lamar home?"

"I'll make it safe. Don't worry, until he's in custody, I have a patrol car in front of your house 24/7."

~~~~

Over the next few days, my mom's condition improves a little, though the doctors caution that even if she wakes up, chances are she'll have permanent brain damage. The thought is unbearable. To avoid going crazy, I start caring for my siblings, reading to Alyssa and playing Lego videogames with Lamar. Rena discovers a box of board games in the attic which keeps us occupied for hours. We live of pizza delivery and Chinese food take-out. The days melt into nights, just to give way again to another morning.

At some point, a new weird calmness settles in my bones. I give a statement to the police and allow them to talk to Alyssa and Lamar. Kerry stops by every evening after work for an update. Marcus has gone into hiding, but she is hopeful that they'll catch him soon.

"What will happen to him?" I ask one night.

"They will charge him with attempted murder. He'll go to prison for a long time."

The prospect doesn't make me feel any better. I'd rather have my mom back.

Kerry is about to leave when the doorbell rings. The gun is in her hand before I can even take another breath. She signals me to go into the living room. I hide behind the door but peek through a crack. When the visitor turns out to be Pam Fallon, Kerry exhales through tight lips.

"Sorry, Pam. I sent the guys on a break while I'm here and you can never be too careful."

"I understand." Pam slips out of her wet overcoat. It must be raining again. "Is Patrice here?"

"Yep, in the living room. You got this? I was going to wait outside until the guys are back and then I need to get home." Kerry's hand runs over her face. "I haven't slept in days."

"Don't make yourself sick, Kerry."

"I blame myself."

"That's not helpful. Find Marcus instead and help the DA to put him behind bars."

Kerry's shoulders slump. "If I'm still able to. They are likely gonna take my badge because I covered for him for all those years."

"If you need a lawyer, you have my number."

"I might take you up on that." With a sigh, Kerry opens the door. "Night, guys."

I step out from behind my hiding place, uncertain why Pam is even here. "Can I help you with something?"

A determined frown is edged on her lips. "You and I have to talk. There are some big decisions for you to make."

"Like what?"

"Why don't we sit down first?"

I follow her into the kitchen and take a seat next to her at the breakfast bar. She opens her briefcase and sets a file on the counter.

"Patrice, I prepared some paperwork I need you to sign." Pulling out a few pages that are tuckered together at the top, she places the papers in front of me. "This is an application for guardianship of your mom. This will allow you to make medical decisions on her behalf and will also give you access to her finances."

"Why does she need a guardian?"

"Because she is, what we lawyers call, incapacitated. That requires a guardian. Since your grandpa died last year and your grandma had the stroke, you are her closest adult relative besides your uncle and he doesn't want to do it."

"And what type of decisions do I have to make?"

She holds my gaze. "At some point, the hospital will want to shut off the machines."

Tears well in my eyes. "But then she'll die."

"Don't worry, it's still down the line, but when it's time to make a decision, you want to be prepared. Court papers take a while." She squeezes my hand. "Guardianship will also allow you to apply for disability benefits for your mom and it will help with your college financial aid application. With Marcus gone, you won't have his salary. You need to start planning on how you can sustain yourself."

Those are issues I never even considered. "What about Lamar and Alyssa?"

"I've spoken to a social worker and they are looking for foster homes—"

"No, please. No foster care." I couldn't do that to my siblings.

"Then the only other option is for you to file for custody. That's a lot of responsibility. Are you sure you are ready for that?"

A few tears fall. "I don't want them to go into foster care."

"There's a lot more to it, Patrice. You will have to drop out of college and eventually work fulltime since sooner or later, you'll run out of money. This house has a mortgage that you won't be able to afford and you guys will have to move."

"Can't we just sell the house and live of that?"

"Not without Marcus's signature. I checked and the house is solely in his name."

"But that's unfair. We are only in this position because of him."

"Unfortunately, victims of domestic abuse are often the ones who continue to suffer. If you want to do this, you need to be prepared to be on your own."

I slide off the bar stool and walk over to the revolving door that connects the kitchen to the living room. Through the small window, I watch Lamar and Alyssa who are sitting in the middle of the floor, playing Candyland. The spot isn't too far from where the bar cart is hiding the blood that has damaged the wood. The stain will be permanent unless we get the floor refurbished. That's how my soul feels. Marcus left a permanent mark unless I find a way to keep my family together. Besides, that's what my mom would expect me to do.

Lamar squeals when Alyssa gets stuck on a licorice square. That makes me smile. It will be hard to take care of them by myself, but somehow, I'll manage.

I turn and look at Pam. "I want to file for custody."

"Okay, then I'll have my office draw up the paperwork."

My eyes return to my brother and sister. Marcus once told me that life can change in the blink of an eye. Ours changed because of the strike of a baseball bat. I won't let him win. He might have burned me once again, but just like the last time, I will face the challenge of healing. That's what a Phoenix does. I will always rise above the ashes.

So the short epilogue turned into a full chapter, but I thought it was needed to round off the story and bridge the gap to Road to Recovery. Now, I know you're all eager to continue Rena's and Patrice's plight, but I'm under time pressure to get War Orphan finished and War Bride published, so until both hit the virtual bookshelves on August 16th, I won't be able to fit anything else into the schedule. Planning on the next Road to Redemption update that following Sunday (August 19th).

If anyone of you are War Bride series fans, there are still a few spots open on my launch team. For details, check out the chapter Launch Team Sign Ups Now Open! in the War Bride story (link is also below in the comments).

At this point, we have to say goodbye to Patrice as a narrator. I appreciate that you took the time to accompany me on this journey and a special thanks to those of you who helped shape this story with their comments. Just as much thanks to my silent voters and readers. All your support means the world to me :)