This chapter is dedicated to GigiMorgan - thanks for your support :)

5 – Truths & Secrets

The birth of my sister Alyssa was a huge change for our new family. She was a screamer and there was barely a time where she wouldn't fuss about one thing or another. My mom said she had bad colics, but since I had no clue what that meant and the amount of discomfort that went along with it, I only resented her. As the days passed by, this resentment turned into hate. In my eyes, everything was her fault.

Marcus was not too fond of her either when he came home from work in the evenings to the chaos, as he called it. Housework had never been my mom's strong suit and the house turned into a total mess. Since I was battling several fronts at once, the adult problems went over my head. I had my own crap to deal with which totally consumed me.

Marcus had enrolled me in a private school after the summer and I was not only behind in all my classes but struggled with my new social status. For my classmates, I was trash who just caught a lucky break because of my stepdad. The bullying was subtle—just some snarky remarks here and there about my bad teeth and dreadful manners—but they managed to make me feel worthless and despicable nevertheless. I dreaded school to a point where I cried myself to sleep every night.

Just as before, my mom ignored me and it was Marcus who picked up on my distress. One night, he slipped into my room when I was reading, plopping onto my bed with wide smile.

"Hey, kiddo. Seems like we haven't spoken in a while."

"Yeah." I closed the book. "You guys are busy with Alyssa, so I thought I'd stay out of your way."

He grimaced. "She certainly is a handful."

On cue, a loud wail echoed through the house.

His eyes closed. "Jesus Christ." The air slowly escaped through his tight lips. "I swear, if your mom doesn't get a handle on this, I'm gonna go insane."

"Tell me about it." I grinned, thrilled that I wasn't the only one who felt this way.

"So, how is it going in your new school?"

I couldn't hold his gaze when tears threatened to spill. "Fine."

"Uhmn, that bad." His fingers forced my chin up. "Truth here, honey, or I can't help you."

"It's really hard"—the words were barely audible through my tears—"and all the kids are mean."

"Oh, honey, come here." He pulled me against his shoulder and let me weep, stroking my back as sobs shook my body. "Shh, shh, I'm gonna take care of it. It's all gonna be fine."

Alyssa's crying was like a siren in the background. When her screams died down, I managed to pull myself together.

"I'm sorry." My hands wiped over my face to get rid of the tears.

"Don't be, Patrice. I'm the one who has to apologize. I should have paid more attention to you."

My smile was timid. "What are we gonna do?"

His eyes were in the distance as he absentmindedly wiped a few damp strands of hair from my cheek. "I would hate pulling you out of that school. It's a really good one. Maybe we can get you a tutor until you catch up." His focus shifted to me. "It was always a struggle for me to get a good education. When I married your mom, I swore to myself that you and your sister would always get the very best of everything. But I also want you to be happy. If I'm pushing you too hard—"

"No, you're not." The last thing I wanted was to disappoint him.

"But you also said the kids were mean."

"Yeah." Tears filled my eyes again when I remembered that Jenny had called me a retard at lunch time. "They constantly say mean things and then—" I didn't want to tell him the other reason, fearing he would get mad.

He arched a single eyebrow.

I giggled. It looked funny when he did that and always cheered me up.

"What else, Patrice?"

"It's because there aren't that many black kids. It just feels odd." In my old school, I couldn't remember even seeing one white face other than the teachers.

"Did the others make any racial remarks?"

"No." They had teased me, but never for the color of my skin. "It's just, they don't want to sit with us. All the black kids are supposed to hang out together, even those who are in other classes. I don't like that."

"I totally get what you mean." He stroked through my hair. "I think I need to talk to your principal to sort this out."

When Alyssa turned on her siren for the next round, his head dropped in his hands.

My mom poked her head into the room. "Marcus, can you take care of the baby for a minute? I need a break." A cigarette hung from the corner of her mouth. Her lips were chapped and dark circles underlined her bloodshot eyes.

He frowned. "I thought you quit smoking."

"Well, you're never around to help me and I'm fed up." Her speech was off, the words oddly strung together. "At least the cigarettes take the edge off."

Her words made me angry. It wasn't Marcus's fault that she couldn't kick this nasty habit.

"Wrong, Chantal." His face darkened as he rose.

I instinctively cowered back, pulling the blanket up to my nose.

He took a step closer. "I told you before I married you that I won't tolerate you smoking around the kids."

"Fuck you. I do what I want."The words slurred together.

"Are you drunk?"

"So what? It's not that you'd care."

His hand rose, but stopped midair when a Alyssa's wail filled the house once again.

"I can't fucking handle this anymore." His fingernails scraped over his coarse hair. "You and this monster are driving me crazy. I haven't slept in days." His eyes fell on me. "Get a couple of things, Patrice. We're leaving." He stormed out.

My mom ran after him. "Where the hell are you going?"

"Kerry's."

A shriek was her answer. "Fuck no. I'm not gonna have you shack up with your ex while I'm stuck here alone with the baby."

I slid out of bed and ran to the doorway, peeking into the hallway to see what they were doing. Marcus was glaring at my mom who frowned back at him with her hands on her hips.

"Oh, grow up, Chantal. Kerry and I are just friends."

"Friends my ass." My mom's shrill voice overpowered Alyssa's screams. "Fuck you, Marcus. If you're leavin', don't expect to find me home when you come back."

"Oh, yeah." He smirked. "And where are you gonna go? You don't have any money."

"FUCK YOU!"

He grabbed her by her shoulders and shook her. "Compose yourself, Chantal. Our neighbors don't want to hear your filthy mouth and I sure don't want them to call the cops." He spun around and took off toward their bedroom.

The door slammed behind him, just to be torn open by my mother again. "And you're not taking Patrice. She ain't your fucking daughter."

"I told you to leave me alone!" He reappeared on the threshold, his finger right in my mom's face. "Stay out of my way, Chantal, or I swear you'll regret it." His gaze traveled to me. "Are you ready?"

I nodded. Running over to my dresser, I started to stuff some clothes into my backpack. My mind was working overtime while their loud yells went back in forth in the background. I was a little afraid of Marcus because he had looked so mean, but my mom was acting like a maniac. I sure wasn't going to stick around while she drank herself into a coma. Before she had married Marcus, she had been drunk most nights when she wasn't working and often passed out in the bathroom.

I stopped in the doorway when I was done, gazing at Marcus for further instructions. My mom had started to cry. She sat on the floor, all crumbled up, her face resting against her thighs. She mumbled to herself, and the only word I could make out was "fuck" which she spitted out over and over again.

Alyssa's cries had died down. When the doorbell rang, Marcus came out of her room with her cradled in his arms. She suckled on her pacifier, an occasional hiccup shaking her body. Otherwise, she seemed perfectly content for a change.

"Can you get that, Patrice?"

I darted to the door and opened it. Two cops stared right into my face.

"Can I help you, Officers?" Marcus asked from behind me.

The older cop's hand moved to his gun. "Your neighbors called in a domestic disturbance."

Marcus's smile was crooked. "I'm really sorry, Officers. My wife and I had an argument. She's really drunk and it got a little louder." He shifted the baby to his other hip, his hand landing on my head. "The kids and I were just leaving to give her some space."

"I see." The cop puffed out his chest, trying to catch a glimpse of my mom in the hallway. "Do you mind if we come in and talk to your wife for a moment?"

"Not at all." Marcus's smile broadened. "I work with the District Attorney's Office, so I know you're required to investigate." He opened the door as far as he could, stepping aside. "Come on in, Officers." His eyes landed on my mom. "Chantal, get up. These officers want to talk to you."

My mom raised her head, her expression sullen. Her mascara was smeared all over her face. "Fuck them. I don't want to talk to any of you." Her hands reached for the little table in the hallway as she heaved herself up. "You fucking men are all the same."

When she took a step forward, she stumbled. Her shoulder rammed into the wall, her arms flapping like a bird until she regained her balance. The vase on the table didn't make it. It shattered into a million pieces when it hit the ground.

"Shit." Marcus and the officer exchanged a glance. "I'm sorry, Officer. Like I said, she's really drunk."

My mom staggered to her bedroom. I flinched when the door closed with a loud bang.

"Well, whatever you do, don't leave her alone with the kids tonight." The cop pulled out a little notebook from his pocket. "I'm sorry, but I have to take down your details for the report." The pen hovered over the book. "What's your name?"

"Marcus Forrester."

"Date of birth?"

"September 9, 1973."

"And your wife's name and date of birth?"

"It's Chantal Forrester." Marcus squeezed my shoulder when I looked up at him with a grimace. I hated my mom for getting him into trouble. "She was born January 27, 1974."

"Okay." The cop smiled at me. "What's your name?"

I lowered my gaze. "Patrice."

"And that's your little sister?" Out of the corners of my eyes, I saw his finger poke at Alyssa. He had this pursed lip expression that adults sometimes have when they coo at babies. I found him absolutely silly.

"Yes," I mumbled. "Her name's Alyssa."

Her face twisted like she was about to cry and his hand snapped back. Marcus stared at her as if she was an exploding time bomb. When all stayed quiet, he let out a sigh.

"Sorry, but she has been fussing all night. She's really colicky."

"Yeah, my daughter was like that when she was her age. Can be tough. The constant crying drove me nuts." The cop smiled as his hand tipped the rim of his hat. "Have a good evening, sir."

"Thanks, Officers, and stay safe out there tonight. Apologies again for the inconvenience."

The cop waved it off. "Just make sure it doesn't happen again. Folks around here like it quiet at night."

Marcus closed the door behind them and let out a sigh. "Thank God your mom acted like a total fool or they would've probably arrested me." He gazed at Alyssa before grimacing at me. "I guess it doesn't make sense to drag you both out into the cold tonight. Your mom is probably passed out. We should all go to bed."

"Can you sleep in my room?" I straightened one of Alyssa's socks so he wouldn't notice how upset I was. I had never heard adults fight like that and was terrified they would split. If Marcus left, I would be stuck with my mom.

"I tell you what—let's all sleep in the guest room tonight. Maybe Alyssa won't cry that much if she ain't alone and I sure don't want to be with your mom and risk her hurling all over me." He stroked over my head. "How does that sound?"

"Good." I blinked up at him from under my eyelashes, glad to have him in my life. My mom was an absolute disaster.

After I brushed my teeth and changed into my pajamas, I checked on her. She laid on her stomach on the bed, an empty bottle next to her on the nightstand. My stomach knotted in disgust when the smell of vomit on the floor flared my nostrils. With a sigh, I closed the door and left her behind. She was so embarrassing.

I halted in my tracks when I heard Marcus's voice drifting from the guest room. After I tiptoed closer, I squatted down to eavesdrop.

"I'm just at my wit's end here, Kerry. Her constant nagging and that baby are killing me. If it wasn't for Patrice, I would have long walked out that door."

I smiled. At least I made him happy.

"Yeah, I know." He sighed. "I hate when you tell me "I told you so". I should've never trusted that bitch when she assured me she had her tubes tied after Patrice. Boy, she got me good."

The house was quiet while he listened. When the grandfather clock clicked above me, I jumped, almost losing my balance.

There was shuffling in the guest room. "Listen, Kerry, I'd better go. I don't want Patrice to know I'm talking to you and tell her mom. I swear if Chantal freaks out like this again, I'm gonna put her in her place. That bitch needs a good slapping."

He laughed while he listened.

"Yes, I remember. Deep breath and keep my cool. You should've become an anger management counselor and not a cop." He laughed again. "And thanks for taking care of that report for me. Having even the slightest stain on my record could really mess with my promotion."

I wiggled my nose when a sneeze threatened to blow my cover. My hand covered my mouth and nose. For a second, I tuned out of the conversation as I was fighting with a second sneeze. When I listened back in, they were just saying their goodbyes.

"Well, I'll see you in court tomorrow. Expect a good grilling from me, Lieutenant." His voice was playful. "Yeah, I know. I'm sorry that it turned out this way, too. You know, you're the only woman I've ever loved."

I toppled over by his confession and my arms entangled with my legs. When I looked up, Marcus was standing in the doorway.

"I really have to go, Kerry. Sleep tight." He flipped the phone shut to end the call. With raised eyebrows, he gazed at me. "You know, you shouldn't be listening in on adult conversations."

"I'm sorry."

His face softened. "Let's go to bed."

He had hauled in the crib and by a miracle, Alyssa was sound asleep. My head snuggled against his shoulder after he tucked the large blanket around us. With a sigh, my thumb moved between my lips. I was glad that I was not alone in my bed in the dark. Utter exhaustion had a firm grip on me, my eyelids so heavy that I could barely keep them from closing.

"Good night, honey." He pecked me on the forehead. "If it's okay, I'll keep the small light on. I still have work to do, but don't want to leave you girls alone."

"Uhum." I sucked on my thumb as my eyes closed.

"You know, you shouldn't tell your mom about the phone call. It would just upset her. Let's keep it our little secret."

"Okay." I rolled on my side, my body nestling against his legs.

His body felt warm against my back and the even clicks of the keyboard knocked me right to sleep. I never told my mom about the phone call. It would become one of the many secrets Marcus expected me to keep.

So the first nasty fight between Marcus and Chantal, but he was still able to rein in his temper. As you can tell, Chantal is not all innocent in their shaky marriage. This chapter also introduced the mysterious Kerry, Marcus long term girlfriend, who will play a future part both in this story and Road To Redemption, the final book of the LWTCWM series (1st chapter was already posted). Were you shocked that she is a police officer? Something to keep in mind going forward since she is a driving force in his cover ups.  

Next chapter, the beast will be unleashed. It will also be the last chapter in the past and we will go back to 14 year old Patrice after her first night with Marcus. How do you think Chantal will react when her daughter tells her about the rape? Well, keep reading, the answer is just two weeks away.

Thanks for reading and don't be shy to share your thoughts with me - always looking forward to reading your comments. Don't forget the little star in the corner if this chapter deserved it. Stay safe and see you next week :)