Four Months Later

I squeezed Marcy's hand as the cold gel was spread across my stomach. Despite this being my third ultrasound, I never got used to the feeling. The tech pressed into my abdomen and dragged the probe back and forth. She kept her eyes on the screen, but I noticed her sneaking glances at my eyes. I wish I wore my sunglasses, but Marcy said I looked ridiculous with them on during the winter.

Marcy rubbed the back of my hand with her thumb to try and comfort me. I watched the screen, but I could not make out the black and grey shapes. I could hear the steady beat coming from the monitor. I chewed on my bottom lip as I prepared for the tech to tell me the worst news possible.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

The tech raised a brow.

"Why do you think something is wrong?" she asked.

"Di always thinks that there is something wrong," Marcy said. "I can't tell you how many times she has woken me up in the middle of the night."

The tech giggled and the heat rushed up to my cheeks. Ever since I found out that I was pregnant I had been worrying. I couldn't stop it.

I knew Ben was dead. I killed him myself, and the cops found his body in the cabin. However, it did not stop me from having nightmares almost every night. Ben's face was burned into my mind and I saw him every time I closed my eyes.

It was a difficult decision to keep this baby. I was going to have an abortion as I imagined the child as being sick and disturbed as Ben. When I got to the clinic, I signed the papers but left before they called my name. I couldn't do it.

Marcy had been going with me to every appointment. She's been excited to be an aunt, so she has been happy to join.

"The doctor will be in soon to see you," the tech said.

She wiped the gel off of my stomach and I pulled my T-shirt down. I sat on the edge of the paper-covered table I was lying on. The tech took one last look at my eyes before rushing out of the room.

Marcy let out a deep breath and raked her fingers through her hair. I rubbed and then cradled my belly. We sat in silence for a moment.

My phone vibrated and I pulled it out of my pocket. An unknown number flashed across the screen. I rolled my eyes before ending the call and blocking the number. The last four months of my life had been dodging the countless phone calls from reporters.

"Another one?" Marcy asked.

I nodded.

"It never seems to end," I said.

"It will all end someday," she said. "Life will be back to normal soon."

I swallowed past the lump that was forming in my throat. I would never get a completely normal life. As long as I had these eyes, nothing would ever be normal. I was hoping that in a year I could lie to new people and say they were contacts. My face had been plastered on the news ever since I came home, so most people knew the truth.

Dr. Garcia walked into the room. He had on a white lab coat over his clothes, just like Oliver used to wear. The sweat was building up on my palms and I curled my fingers ripping the paper underneath me.

How do I know if he was part of Gregory's club in the Caribbean?

I didn't, and that is what scared me.

"Hello, Diana," Garcia said. "It's nice to meet you."

My mouth went dry as I stared at Garcia. He wasn't gawking at my eyes and this was the first time I met him. Was he used to seeing these kinds of modifications on people? Has he been to that dinner? Was he a member that had his own kidnapped experiment?

Why couldn't they have some kind of symbol? A tattoo? A marking? A ring? Something that would let me know if they were part of Gregory's club.

Garcia cleared his throat as I was not responding to him. My heart was pounding and I did not know what to say. Marcy sat up straighter in her seat. My knee was bouncing and Marcy reached out to put her hand on my leg in an attempt to comfort me.

"Everything is looking good," he said. "Would you like to know the sex?"

"Yes," Marcy answered for me. "I have been predicting that it is a girl."

Marcy had been telling me I will be having a girl ever since I started experiencing morning sickness. I spent countless hours on the bathroom floor near the toilet. That's how I knew I was pregnant. I initially thought it was the flu, but it lasted too long. Marcy said all of my nausea meant it was a girl. She also had other predictions that it was a girl by me carrying high and my face breaking out in acne.

"You're actually wrong," Garcia said. "Diana, you are having a boy."

"A boy?" I asked.

"That's right."

The colour drained from my face.

I was having a boy.

It really hit me at that moment that a small Ben was growing inside of me. Was this baby going to be like his father? Ben killed his Mom. Was my life in danger now that I was having a boy?

I could not focus as Garcia told me information, but I knew that Marcy was taking note of it. When Garcia stopped talking, I rushed out of the office. I barely had my jacket on by the time I made it to Marcy's car. Snowflakes were falling and I struggled not to slip on the ice.

The lights of the car lit up and I looked over my shoulder to see Marcy walking out of the doctor's office. I slid into the passenger seat and slammed the door shut. My teeth dug into my lip as I tried to fight off the tears. Marcy got into the driver's seat, put the key in the ignition, and then fiddled with the knobs on the dashboard to try and get the heat to work.

"We need to start thinking of names," Marcy said. "I think Henry would be cute. We could name him after grandpa."

I opened my mouth to speak, but no words came out. I blinked and the tears rolled down my cheeks. Marcy shifted her weight in her seat so that she was looking at me. She watched as I sobbed and shook my head.

"What was I thinking?" I asked. "I can't have a baby. I can't have his baby."

"Diana," Marcy said.

"I was so stupid for sleeping with him," I cried. "Why would I do that? I wasn't thinking straight."

"Diana, look at me," she said.

"I can't raise this baby-"

"Diana, look at me!"

My vision was blurry from the tears, but I looked over at Marcy. She was leaning against the steering wheel. She gave me a soft smile.

"You are the bravest person I know," she said. "I don't know anyone else who could have gone through what you have. You are strong. You are going to be alright."

I let out a shaky breath to try and control my crying. I was never one to cry, but ever since I had been pregnant I had trouble controlling my emotions.

"You are not alone," Marcy said. "You have Mom and me."

"I wonder how he would have reacted if he knew I was pregnant?" I asked.

My gut told me that he would have been ecstatic. He always told me that we were a family. He would have loved a baby.

"Don't think like that," Marcy said. "Don't think about Ben."

"I can't help it," I said.

Marcy sighed and turned in her seat. I took in a sharp breath to control my crying. I wiped the tears off of my cheeks.

"What am I going to tell this child?" I asked. "His father was awful. I can't tell him that."

Marcy pulled out of the parking lot to the doctor's office. Her warm breath was visible in the frigid air, and I could tell she was thinking. No one has really talked about Ben since I came home. Marcy set up therapy appointments for me, but I have skipped over half of them. I wanted to forget Ben, but now I can't now that his son is growing inside of me.

"What if he turns out like his Dad?" I asked.

"He's not going to be anything like Ben," Marcy said. "This baby is going to feel nothing but love. He is not going to be completely deranged."

I rubbed my hand over my belly.

"Nature versus nurture?" I asked.

"Exactly," Marcy said. "Your baby will not be born evil."

Four Years Later

Marcy dimmed the lights and the fire from the candles danced in the air. Henry had a wide smile as he watched me carry his birthday cake over to the table. He was sitting on Mom's lap and clapping his hands. The family joined in a chorus singing happy birthday to my son.

"Make a wish," Marcy said after we had all finished signing. "But you can't tell any of us what it is or it won't come true."

Henry closed his eyes and leaned over the cake to blow the candles out. It took him multiple breaths to get all three candles blown out. I turned on the lights and he gasped when he saw that the cake was in the shape of a dinosaur. He had grown a love for prehistoric creatures over the past few months. He had a stuffed T-Rex clutched to his chest.

"Mommy!" he squealed. "It's a raptor."

I was impressed at how well he could identify different dinosaurs at his age. He was smart, just like Ben.

I jumped when David put his arm around my shoulders. We had been dating for the past six months. He knew the truth behind my eyes but never asked about it. He never acted like I was some kind of freak. He looked at me like I was beautiful.

David curled me into his body and pressed his lips against my temple. I smiled and placed my hand on his chest. Mom helped Henry cut a piece of cake that was much too large for him. He was going to be jumping off the walls on a sugar high soon.

"Good job, sweetheart," David whispered into my ear. "He loves it."

Henry ran toward us. White icing was covering his face. David bent down and Henry ran into his arms. David lifted him off of the floor and rested him on his hip. I picked up a napkin and tried to wipe the cake off Henry's face. He squirmed as I tried to clean him.

He looked so much like Ben. He had the same dark hair and bright blue eyes. Even the way his lips would tug into a smile would remind me of Ben.

I never talked about Ben with David. I didn't talk about him with anyone. Henry asked once about his father and I was unsure what to say. I always changed the topic to something else, usually dinosaurs. Henry never pressed the subject of his father, but I knew that it was eventually time until he discovered the truth.

Six Years Later

Marcy fixed my veil as Henry ran around my old bedroom. He got ready with David, but he whined until he could come into my room with me. Marcy had been fussing over my hair and dress in an attempt to make everything perfect.

I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. My dress was simple, off the shoulder with a sweetheart neckline, and my veil was lace. Marcy convinced me to wear my hair up. I usually had my hair down in an attempt to hide my eyes.

Six years had passed and I still have not grown used to seeing the vertical slit and dark green of my eyes. I was most comfortable with a pair of sunglasses, but Marcy would be furious if I wore my shades to my own wedding. Besides, David made me feel normal. He looked into my eyes like nothing was wrong.

"It's time!" Marcy exclaimed, clasping her hands in front of her chest.

She wore a deep red dress. She was my only bridesmaid, so I let her choose whatever dress she'd like. I knew she would pick something too extravagant for a backyard wedding.

Marcy looped her arm with mine and I grabbed Henry's hand. We walked out of my room. I struggled not to stumble on my dress as I went down the stairs. I passed on wearing heels and had on my favourite pair of Converse. I didn't want to sink in the grass of my childhood yard.

The soft sound of a violin filled my ears. David's best friend, Carter, was waiting for us by the glass sliding door. Marcy smiled and held onto his arm. He opened the door and they walked off the deck and down the makeshift aisle my Mom made with flower petals.

I crouched down in front of Henry. His stuffed T-Rex was clutched in his hands. I brushed his dark hair off of his forehead. The older he got, the more he looked like Ben.

"Are you marrying Daddy now?" Henry asked.

Henry started calling David Daddy last year. Neither of us prompted it. We were on the couch watching a Disney movie when the word left Henry's lips. David was so moved that he struggled not to cry. I was relieved when he started because he stopped asking about Ben.

I wished that Henry was David's. Henry's dark hair and blue eyes made it difficult to pretend David was his biological father. David was blond with hazel eyes.

"Yes," I said. "Daddy and I are getting married and we will officially be a family."

A family.

That was all that Ben ever wanted. The nightmares of him never went away. David would hold me when I would thrash around and cry out in the middle of the night. He never once asked me what made me so upset, but I knew that he knew.

Ben was dead, but his memory lived on in my mind.

I stood and held Henry's hand. Marcy had the cute idea of having Henry walk me down the aisle. My father had not once reached out to me since I returned home. His daughter went missing and he did not even care.

I pulled the door open and stepped out onto the deck with Henry. The small group of attendees, a mixture of mine and David's family, stood and turned to face us. My Mom's eyes watered as she covered her mouth with her hand. Most people awed as they saw Henry in his little suit. Henry was so excited to see David that he tried to run and drag me down the aisle with him.

I looked at David and my chest tightened. He was biting down on his bottom lip as a tear rolled down his cheek. The tears pricked at the back of my eyes and I was afraid to blink and start sobbing. David wiped the stray tears off of his cheeks and smiled. He let out a slow deep breath in an attempt to try and keep it together.

Henry squirmed out of my hold and ran forward to hug David, who bent down and wrapped his arms around him. He carried him over to my Mom and she held him on her lap. David took my hand and pulled me up to the arch of flowers my Mom created. He tightened his hold on my hand and I struggled not to hug and kiss him.

I barely listened to the priest as he spoke. I was too focused on David and trying not to cry. I snuck glances at Henry to see him smiling and clapping his hands. My Mom had difficulty holding onto him as he wanted to run up to us.

When the priest announced that we were man and wife, the guests all cheered. David grabbed and dipped me before kissing me. I wrapped my arms around his neck to keep him close.

This was the happiest I had been in my life. Neither Oliver, Bethany, nor Ben had the power to ruin my future. I overcame everything and came out the winner.

Fuck those doctors.