Sorry for the long wait for this chapter. I'M NOT DEAD YET!!!!! Okay, Sans' thoughts will now be in all lowercase like his speech. 

This is by far the longest chapter I've written so far.

Enjoy this very long chapter!

Lucy sat across from Natsu. "By the way, why'd you pick me to join your team, Natsu?" She asked. Natsu looked at her. "Because you seemed like a really nice person." He said, sick. Lucy was in shock. Woah, did I just get a compliment from this guy? But Natsu added, "But you're just so weird." Lucy was offended. The Fire eater with the talking cat thinks I'M weird?! Sans was supposedly sleeping on the floor between them, smiling his cartoonish smile

 Keyword is supposedly. Secretly, the smile got wider. Sans was NOT, in fact, sleeping. He was just pretending and literally getting some shut-eye. He heard the conversation and thought, i see a new ship... hehe... Sans' grin started to transform into an evil smile that promised doom. Yes, shippers can be the most evil people on the planet. 

Lucy looked down to see the evil grin and frowned. "Sans, are you awake?!" She yelled. Sans just grunted in response and started snoring, signifying that he was actually asleep. "WHAT???? DON'T JUST FALL ASLEEP ON ME LIKE THAT!!!!!!" She said, shaking Sans. Since he didn't respond, she eventually gave up and changed her attitude. "Anyway, I'm totally stoked about my first real job, and I'm totally going to rock it!" She said, a DETERMINED look on her face. Sans, nearby (and in a deep sleep) subconsciously heard it and muttered in his sleep. "i think you mean you're gonna rocket." He muttered very quietly. Happy looked up to Lucy, eating a crying Sunfish. "Really? I thought you were upset about it!" Lucy didn't hesitate to reply. "Yeah, I was pretty mad at first. But if this perv likes pretty girls then I'm perfect for the job, right?" Lucy put her hand on her cheek as thoughts of her in bikinis and cheerleader outfits while looking sexy went through her mind. "All you humans kinda look alike to me." Happy deadpanned. Lucy looked at him in rage and dismay. The scene changes to the back of the cart. "I think it's time we work out our payscale. Since I'm all doing the work, I think we should split the reward 80, 10, and 10." Sans instantly woke up. "hey. what about my pay?" He complained. Lucy frowned and tried smacking Sans in the face. "Shut up, punster. You don't have to pay rent, do you, buster?" She said while missing Sans by an inch, totally not because he just dodged it. "You only want 10 percent?" Happy asked. The cart started shaking. "I'M THE EIGHTY PERCENT!!!!" Lucy yelled.

Plue, Happy, and Temmie were sitting around a Japanese stove, drinking tea. All looked peaceful. Happy turned around to face the camera and said, "Then..."

The town of Shirotsume.

Yes, it's that mysterious voice again.

Sans (somehow sleepwalking while keeping up with the group, his head bent down), Natsu (bent over, still a little sick), Happy (perfectly fine), and Lucy walked into the town. "That's the last time I'm riding one of those." Natsu moaned. "You say that every time!" Happy exclaimed. "Yeah, I'm starving." Natsu said. Sans then woke up with a yawn, but said nothing as he looked around. Lucy looked at Natsu awkwardly. "Yeah, well can't you just eat your own fire?" She asked. Natsu sweated a little. "Oh yeah, that's a great idea. Why don't you eat Plue and your cow while you're at it?" Natsu retorted. "Why'd I do something like that?!" Lucy asked, surprised. Natsu, totally unfazed by Lucy, said, "Yeah, well it's kinda the same thing." He said, totally out of character again. Lucy walked on. "So let me get this straight. You can eat fire, but not your own? That's kinda lame." Sans then interrupted and went in front of Lucy and Natsu quickly, effectively blocking the way.

"woah. calm down there, kiddo." An anime version of Lucy's face appeared in a speech bubble. "MY NAME IS LUCY!!!!!!" Sans shrugged it off. "if you told me to eat my magic when i was hungry, would i eat it? no. first of all, i can't do that because my magic isn't to eat blue magic. second of all, if you ate your own magic, nothing would come out of it because when you use the magical energy required to conjure something like fire, part of that energy would go into conjuring the actual object itself, while another part would be used to keep it there. thus, it you end up with less magic energy than before. therefore, you just wasted your magic for no reason."

Lucy blinked a little before she got into a spontaneous tantrum. "SINCE WHEN WERE YOU SO SMART?!?!?!" She yelled and kicked him away. At least, that's what she thought. But instead, he teleported away into one of the empty alleys.

The potion had started to fade again. Sans took a bottle out of one of the inner pockets of his jacket with his skeletal left hand and drank a little. It took a little bit, but eventually, he was back to 'normal' and teleported behind Lucy. "peekaboo." Sans's said before teleporting in front of her right when she turned around. She looked back and shrieked. "SANS!!!" She yelled in anger. Sans looked up with an innocent smile. "what up?" He said. He then realized she was in a maid costume, just like what Natsu and Happy had suggested. "woah. it looks too good to have been maid by you." Sans snickered. Nearby, he saw Natsu and Happy standing there, sweating profusely. Instantly, Natsu and Happy grouped up nearby, whispering terribly. "What do we do? We're joking about the costume but she took it seriously!" Happy whispered. "I guess we're just gonna have to go along with it! Don't say anything, okay?" Natsu whispered back. Lucy stood, facing away from them with an annoyed-beyond-belief face. "I can HEAR you!!!" She said, raising her voice. 

...........

The scene instantly clips to the customer's house. "My name's Kaby Melon. Pleased to meet you." The host said, a warm smile on his face. Happy and Natsu proceeded to overreact. "He said melon!" Happy said. "Oh man, you have a tasty name!" Natsu said. Lucy faced them. "That's rude, guys!" She said. Sans nodded nonchalantly and entered the conversation. "yea. what she said." Kaby laughed. "Don't worry. I get that a lot." He said. Lucy stared at him with concentration. Why does his name sound familiar? Kaby folded his hands. "Well, first thing's first. Allow me to tell you about the job." Natsu leaned forwards. Lucy sat a little straighter and Happy raised a paw out of pure habit. "Go on!" Natsu said. Sans lazily leaned back. "go for it." He said, a smile creeping onto his face. "It's pretty straightforward, really," Kaby said. Sans sighed and his smile relaxed a little. good. that means it isn't complicated, which means it's easy, which means i don't need to try hard, which means i can be lazy. Sans thought. "Duke Everlue has a book called 'Daybreak' in his possession. I would like you to burn it for me." Natsu grinned and lit his index finger on fire. "No prob! Heh, I'll burn the whole place down if you want!" Natsu said, doing something Sans does a lot called talking-while-smiling-and-not-opening-your-mouth. Happy pointed to Natsu and smiled. "He likes fire!" The blue cat said. "I'm not going to jail for arson because of the two of you!" Lucy exclaimed. Sans shrugged. "ya. whatever." He simply said. Lucy then faced Kaby. "Can I ask why, Sir?" She said politely. Natsu made a 'duh' face and said, "For 200,000 Jewel. Who the heck cares?" Natsu not-so-politely barged in. "The reward has been raised to 2,000,000." Kaby said casually. All four of them were in shock, Sans' pupils reduced to mere dots in a white expanse.

Kaby sat still, face straight. "I'm sorry. I thought you were aware of the change." He apologized. Natsu, though, was swirling at the price change. "Two million split four ways?!" Steam came out of his ears. Natsu clenched his eyes. "WOW!!!! I STINK AT MATH BUT THAT'S A LOT!!!!!!!" Sans sighed at the strange reaction Natsu was having. "easy, we just"- Sans was cut off by a dizzy Happy. "Wait, I got it!" Sans watched the blue cat, wondering how in the world Happy could do math if he was a cat. "I get one million, you get one million, and Lucy and Sans get all the rest!" Natsu, steam still coming from ears and giving a thumbs up, said, "That sure sounds fair to me!" Happy answered his usual. "Aye!" Lucy and Sans then teamed up against Happy and Natsu. "BUT THAT LEAVES ME WITH NOTHING!!!!!!" She yelled, bursting in between the two. "yea, what she said." Sans yelled, although it couldn't be heard over Lucy.

Lucy calmed down and asked Kaby, "Why'd you raise the reward?" Kaby's hands clenched slightly. "Well, because it means that much to me. That book must be destroyed, no matter the cost." He said, his face shadowed over. Natsu's head was on fire, and Sans' eye sockets were empty voids. Lucy noticed this and screamed.

"Oh yeah! I am fired up now!!!" Natsu yelled and dragged Lucy out of the house, completely forgetting about Sans. "LET'S DO THIS, LUCY!!!!!" "Hey, wait a sec!" Lucy was going to tell Natsu about Sans, who was still left in the building, but Natsu wasn't listening.

.......

The dust cleared, revealing Sans still sitting on the couch. Kaby didn't take notice of the ske- I mean human. The tension rose in the almost empty room, save for three people. "Daybreak. It must be burned. It cannot be allowed to exist any longer."

Sans walked out of the room to meet his teammates at the mansion.

........

Welcome to Duke Everlue's Mansion.

IT'S THE WEIRD VOICE AGAIN.

"Excuse me, I heard you had an opening for a maid position? Hello?!" Lucy said, standing to the gates of the mansion. Wow this geezer with my looks, burn some stupid book, and collect two million Jewel. This'll be sweet. Lucy thought evilly. From behind a tree, Natsu said, "Don't screw up, okay?" "Break a leg!" Our only blue cat said. From behind Lucy, the ground burst open, revealing a fat, ugly, huge pink-haired gorilla maid. Lucy basically Y-posed and screamed as she turned around. The maid had glowing eyes. "So you're a maid?" The gorilla maid asked in a deep voice. "Yeah!" Lucy almost screamed, but didn't. "I assume you're here, because of the ad the master placed in the paper?" Lucy had no time to react when a man yelling 'boyoyoyoyo!' came out of the ground from behind her. "Did I hear someone say master?" He asked. "More like monster!" Lucy added to herself.

(I'm sorry if any of you guys take offense in this description)

The man was short, ugly, has a mustache coming from his nose (even though mustaches don't work like that), he was almost bald save a patch of hair on his head that curved over the the side a little, and he was wearing a black suit with a golden button and a rose. You could see why Lucy added that. 

Lucy put it upon herself to add her 'sex appeal' to the mix, and sure enough, anime sparkles were around her as she made a cute pose. The man just stared. Oh man, he is creeping me out! Stay strong, Lucy! The man, presumably Duke Everlue, turned away. "Eh, I'll pass. Now scram, ugly." Lucy was in shock. Her perfectly sexy body can just simply not be ugly. She was stabbed by an imaginary sign that said ugly when the gorilla maid picked her up. "You heard the man. Get going, ugly." Another imaginary sign stabbed into Lucy, saying the same thing. Duke Everlue turned around. "I'm sorry, but a man of my standing has certain standards to uphold! That's why I only hire the fairest of the fair!" Four more maids burst from the ground as Lucy stared at the maids, shocked. This man thought they were beautiful?!

(Once again sorry if you take offense in these descriptions)

The one on the far left looked like a chimpanzee, the second one had a pig nose with rabbit teeth and hair all over them and- wait, is that a mustache?! No, it isn't. But it sure LOOKS LIKE ONE. The next one looked like her face had been stretched out, and she was tall and thin. The fourth one was fat and had wrinkles all over her face. They all tried to look cute, but just couldn't do it.

Lucy, still being held by the gorilla maid, was still shocked and whimpered a little. All of the maids cuddled up against Duke Everlue. "You're the best, master!" "I've never met such a kind hearted man!" "I think you're the sweetest guy alive!" "Why don't you run along home, ugly?" Lucy, already wounded by two imaginary signs, was now hit in the head by a third one. She curled up into an imaginary corner and cried anime tears. In reality, it was next to a tree. "Just couldn't do it, huh?" A sassy pink-haired man said. "I TRIED!!!! BUT THAT IDIOT WOULDN'T KNOW BEAUTY IF IT BIT HIM IN THE BEHIND!!!!!!" Our poor Lucy said. "Uh huh." Happy said sassily. Lucy then cranked up the waterworks and poured down tears. "IT STINKS!!!!" Natsu pounded his fists together. "Okay! I guess we'll have to resort to old Plan T!" Said pink-haired mage announced. "YEAH!!!! THAT BIG FAT JERK'S GONNA PAY FOR THIS!!!!" Lucy said menacingly. She suddenly realized she had no clue what Plan T is. "Wait a sec, what's Plan T?" She questioned. "Take him by storm!" Happy yelled happily. "That's not a plan!" Lucy argued.

.......

A very menacing lacrima with a wolf on it hovered in the trees. It showed Lucy, Happy, and Natsu. A malicious laugh was heard, as Duke Everlue is shown sitting in a chair, watching the three through the lacrima. Two other people stood by. All three faces were shadowed. "So it seems we have another group of wizards at our door!" The lacrima showed the Fairy Tail symbol on Lucy's hand. "And these are from Fairy Tail!" The image suddenly showed the ground approaching fast and a white haired boy with his head lowered before it broke up. "WHAT?!" Duke Everlue said. "THE LACRIMA BROKE!!!"

.......

Sans sighed. "ugh, that's taken care of. he probably caught us already." He spat. He walked away from the remains of the broken lacrima, in the opposite direction of his 'team'.

.......

Natsu placed his hand on the window before it began to melt, and a hole big enough to fit his hand was there. He reached in as Happy dropped Lucy down. "Whoopsie daisie!" Our favorite blue cat said as he landed on the ground. "Thanks a lot, Happy!" Lucy thanked. The scene then clips to above the house. It points to where the trio were. "Geez, this isn't really taking him by storm, you know. I think we should've just busted right in through the front door." Natsu complained. Lucy crossed her arms. "What did I tell you before? I'm not going to jail 'cause of you." Lucy shot at him. "Yeah, but I thought you were out to get revenge on this guy!!!" Natsu argued. Lucy closed her eyes and faced down in a 'why-does-this-happen-to-me' pose and said, "Oh. I'll get my revenge." She said in a menacing tone. "Not only am I gonna burn his book, but I'm gonna use his toothbrush to clean the toilet!" She started cackling as her eyes were little four-pointed stars that they use in anime to symbolize a diabolical plan. Natsu put on a gross face and said, "That is totally gross!" "Totally." Our little favorite blue cat agreed. "i'm gonna hafta agree with you two on that." A baritone voice that signaled the presence of Sans sounded. "SANS?!?!?!" The trio yelled in sync. "yup, that's me. the one and only." Sans said nonchalantly. "anyway, i think we need to get a move on." Lucy faced him, clearly puzzled. "Why?" She asked. Sans lowered his head, the shadow of his fake hair covering his eyes. "the duke everlue knows we're here, and who we are."

.......

Lucy walked through the Duke's house, Sans following her. "Wow, is this some kind of weird storeroom?" She asked. Suddenly, a skull came to life. "RAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!" Oh wait, never mind. Happy was wearing the skull and jump scared Lucy to the point where her heart was pounding in her chest so fast and loud that you, the reader, can hear it. "Check me out!" Happy exclaimed, jumping up and down. "Yeah! You're looking fierce, Happy!" Natsu complimented the little cat. Sans, nearby, almost wanted to outright admit he was a skeleton but instead laughed so hard he was on the ground, pounding his fist in it. Finally he stopped, wiping the tears out of his face. i guess i could tell them something... Sans summoned a bone. "ironic," he said, balancing it one one finger. "i have the ability to summon bones." He threw the bone into the air and caught it with his left hand. Happy, still wearing the skull, admired Sans' skill, while Natsu and Lucy were gaping at the bone Sans summoned. "So that's what you were starting to summon..." Lucy said. "WOAH, YOU CAN SUMMON BONES?!?!?!?" The shocked fire mage in unison. They instantly received a shush in response. "Woah, how'd you do that!?" Happy asked, eyes little stars as he still marveled at Sans and his skill with his magic. "let's keep going." Sans simply said. Woah, major alliteration.

.......

Natsu opened a door, a bored expression on his face. A doorbell sound rung, but that's only for you readers.

Happy opened the door, the skull still on his head. The same doorbell sound rung.

Sans yawned. For some reason, a doorbell ring sounded.

Lucy opened a door, but this time it led to a golden bathroom with Duke Everlue's face disturbingly on the toilet. This time, a toilet flush sounds. Let's hope Lucy doesn't put her diabolical plan of revenge into action...

(A few more minutes of looking through doors later)

Natsu, Sans, Happy, and Lucy crept through the hallway. A golden statue of Duke Everlue stood in the middle of the building. "Do we have to search through every room in this whole stinkin' place?" A very annoyed Dragon Slayer asked, getting impatient. "Well, yeah." Lucy said sassily. "I think we should take a hostage and force them to tell us where the book is." Natsu started. Lucy looked away from Natsu. "Kinda the whole idea is not to be seen, you dummy. You gotta be stealthy, like a ninja." This took to Natsu's interests. Apparently he likes ninjas. "Like a real ninja?" He asked dreamily, imagining himself with ninja stars and what-not. Sans looked at him worriedly. "uhh, you ok buddy?" Natsu remained oblivious to the statement. "What's going on inside that head of yours?" Lucy wondered.

Sans was about to reply to her when the maids appeared from behind Natsu. "INTRUDER ALERT!" They yelled in sync. The Gorilla Maid popped up in front of them. "LET'S CRUSH 'EM, GIRLS!" Said Gorilla Maid yelled. All but the Gorilla Maid were holding a spear. Happy, with the skull on, yelled. "RAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!" The maids all shrieked in fright. "IT'S A MONSTER!" One of them yelled.

Sans was heavily offended by that statement. Why do the people of this world treat monsters like they are a bad thing? Natsu was about to blow them away, but Sans beat him to it. He summoned a bone and whacked them away with it, his eyes once again dark voids in his head. "Don't you ever say that again." He said, tone deceptively calm, but hiding the inner threat.

The Gorilla Maid jumped and yelled something about a Virgo attack before landing on Natsu. Lucy yelled in fright. "OH NO!" Then she looked to Happy in a lame way. "Hey! You can take off that mask now!" The maid was beginning to rise and, soon enough, Natsu pushed her off of him. A magic circle appeared underneath him. "We mustn't let ourselves be discovered!" He said in a funky accent. His face was covered in his scarf, minus the eyes. "We are ninja!" Happy was on his shoulder. "Ninja!" The blue cat repeated. Lucy stood nearby. "Ninjas are supposed to be quiet, guys!" Lucy muttered. Sans popped from behind Lucy. "let's be sneaky instead of hypocrites." He said. 

Natsu and Lucy opened a pair of doors which finally lead to a library. "it's a librarby." Sans deadpanned. Natsu looked around. "Ah, there are many books in this library." He said in the same accent as before. "Aye! There are indeed." Happy said. "Wow. Who would've thought that Everlue was a major bookworm?" Natsu and Happy jumped around simultaneously. "LET'S START LOOKING!" He yelled. "AYE SIR!" Sans faced them and gave them the, 'eye-am-going-to kill-you-if-you-give-us-away' look, AKA his empty eye sockets look. Yes, pun intended. Puns are always intended in a book with Sans in it.

Lucy traced her finger on the books, wanting to see which one was Daybreak. She sighed. "How are we ever going to find one stupid book in this place?" She muttered depressingly. Sans was sleeping on the couch in the center. She turned to him from the ladder she was standing on. "HOW ABOUT YOU GET OFF YOUR LAZY BUTT AND START LOOKING?!?" She yelled at him.

Sans didn't get up. "nah. i'm fine staying down here. i'd prefer to leave the looking to you. here's some advice, though: you just gotta book for it. it's as easy as turning pages. there's not a plot of stuff to it. so ye"- Lucy cut off his series of puns. "WE GET IT, COMEDIAN."

Natsu and Happy then picked up books. "Ooh, this book has lots of pictures!" "Look! It's a book on fish!" "CHECK OUT THIS ONE! IT'S SPARKLY!" Lucy walked up to him. "Look, would you get serious and start looking for the book we need?" That's when she looked at the title and gasped. "It's Daybreak!" She exclaimed.

Sans sat up from the couch. "sorry to break it to ya, but i think that's obvious." "Have we been here that long?" Happy asked. Lucy stared at the book. "You found it!" "Natsu found it!" "wow." "I did?" Came the reaction of three Fairy Tail wizards plus one Fairy Tail wizard to-be. "Two million jewel, here we come!" Lucy cheered.

Natsu lit his hand on fire. "Let's spark it up!" He yelled. Sans yawned. "That was so easy!" Happy said. Then Lucy notice who the author was. "Hold on a second, I didn't realize this was written by Kemu Zaleon!" She snatched it from Natsu's hands. "Zale-what?" The confused Dragon Slayer asked. "Zaleon was a great wizard and an amazing novelist! I'm such a big fan of his that I was totally positive I had read every sentence he had ever written but this must be an unpublished novel!" Lucy fangirled. Natsu chuckled and held up his index finger, which was on fire again. "Who cares? It all burns the same to me!"

Lucy stared at him in rage and shock as she clutched the book towards her. "Don't you dare touch it! This is a great work of literature! You better stay away from it, Pyro!" Happy stared at her menacingly. "But what about our mission?" He asked cryptically. Lucy yelled at him. "JUST FORGET ABOUT THE STUPID MISSION!" "Failure is not an option!" Happy shot back. "Come on, guys! Let's just say that we burned it! I'll keep it a secret, I swear!" She tried bargaining. "I'm not a liar." Natsu said cryptically. "Aye." Happy said in a zombie-like manner. Suddenly, Everlue's voice boomed throughout the entire room. "Well well, look what we have here?" Everlue said as he shot up from the ground. "So you thieves are looking to pilfer Daybreak from me, are you?" He ended his sentence with a 'boyoyoyoyo'.

Sans immediately shot up from the couch, sensing danger. He instantly spotted the Duke and narrowed his eyes. "what d'ya want?" He asked menacingly. Everlue looked at the white-haired kid sitting on the couch. "Daybreak, of course!" Natsu pointed to Everlue. "See, slowpoke? This is all your fault!" Lucy was sweating bullets. "Um, sorry about that!" She answered nervously. "Don't you think it would have been way easier just to come in through the door?" Happy asked, adding some comedy to the scene.

Everlue either didn't hear him, or just ignored him. "I knew all you low-life wizard types were coming around here to take something of mine! I would have never guessed that it was that stupid book!" Natsu looked at him, slightly confused. "Stupid?"

Lucy looked down slightly. This book must be important if the client is willing to pay so much to destroy it. So I don't understand why would Everlue say that about it? She then turned to the rest of the gang. "This works out great! If it's so stupid, I guess it's fine if I keep it?" Everlue was clearly mad at the prospect of letting an intruder keep a so called, 'stupid book'. "IT'S MINE YOU PIG SO GET YOUR GRUBBY HANDS OFF!" Everlue yelled. "Greedy gut." Lucy retorted. Everlue rubbed underneath his nose. "Shut your trap, ugly." Lucy then fell, being hit by yet another imaginary sign. Natsu held up his hand, which had a fireball on it. "Would you hand over that book and let me get this over with?" He asked. She clutched the book tightly to her chest. "NO WAY! I'M NOT GIVING IT TO YOU!" She yelled back at Natsu.

Sans looked around, slightly confused. "ok. so who's against who?" He mumbled to himself. "well, let's see. we got lucy vs everyone else, natsu and happy vs lucy, and duke everlue vs us. great."

Natsu glared at Lucy. "LUCY! THIS IS OUR JOB!" He yelled at her. Lucy calmly sat down and opened the book. "Well, at least let me read it first!" She retorted. Everybody stared at her in shock, and simultaneously yelled, "READ IT NOW?" Sans fell off the couch. "are you kidding? this is the worst time to read it." Everlue glared at Lucy menacingly. "I've had enough. How dare you put your filthy hands on my possessions! Now, come forth Vanish Brothers!"

When Everlue said 'brothers', Sans got a sudden, painful, longing feeling for his own brother, who was probably suffering in the Genocide Route without him. When the bookcase opened, it showed two figures. One towering over the other. It reminded Sans so much of himself and Papyrus, except Sans was way shorter than the short Vanish Brother.

(Let's call the taller brother Bandana Man and the shorter one Frying Pan for some comedy, shall we?)

"You called upon us, sir?" Frying Pan asked. "Can you believe these punks our from the Fairy Tail guild? Talk about a bunch of runts." Bandana Man said. Actually, Sans begged to differ. "tibia honest, i wouldn't say i'm from fairy tail." He said, completely forgetting that his skele-puns wouldn't make any sense. Frying Pan turned to him. "Is that so?" He said. Sans shrugged. "i just said it."

Happy noticed the symbol on their clothes. "That sign means they're from the Southern Wolves! It's a mercenary guild!" Happy said. Natsu cracked his knuckles. "So, you got bodyguards, do ya?"

Lucy gasped. "Oh wow..." There was something in the book that made it more important than any other story.

Everlue tugged on his mustache. "Boyoyoyoyoyoy! The Southern Wolves are always hungry for fresh game! Say your prayers, thieves!" Sans, once again, begged to differ. But this time, he kept it to himself. wow. i'm just bones. there's nothing to eat here... Lucy got up next to Natsu. "Hey, try to hold them off for a while. I'm not sure, but I think this book holds some kind of secret." Natsu replied, "Right." Then she ran out of the nearest door.

Everlue was interested. A secret? It must have slipped by me somehow! It could be a treasure map or something... "I'm going after the girl. Make sure Pink Hair and the pale kid don't leave here in one piece!" Then he went underground. "Yes sir." Both of the brothers replies in sync. Natsu turned to Happy. "Happy, go on and help Lucy." Happy faced his friend, concern in his eyes. "Are you sure you don't need me here?" Natsu looked menacingly at the brothers and stretched his arms. "No. Thanks, but I'll be fine with Sans." As Happy flew away, the taller of the brothers said, "Woah. You talk big for such a little guy." The smaller of them said, "Perhaps we should put him in his place." Then he proceeded to ask Natsu questions, completely bypassing the short white-haired kid as harmless. "Yeah, but how'd you know that?" Natsu asked. Bandana Man replied to Natsu, saying, "We saw the fire wrap your legs when you were fighting Virgo." Ah, so that's the gorilla maid's name. "So it's obvious that you're an ability-type fire wizard."

A quick run down for those of you who really haven't watched Fairy Tail (if you have, then go ahead and skip this. If you haven't and you really want to get to the story, also go ahead and skip this)

Ability-type wizards are wizards who use magic that flows through their body (examples: Happy and Natsu.) while a holder-type wizard would use items that they collect (example is Lucy)

And to be random, I'm going to put down monsters too.

So a monster like Sans would be a being made entirely of magic. Monsters from Sans' world use magic that naturally flows through them, so technically Sans can be classified as an ability-type wizard by others.

ANYWAY I'M GETTING SIDE TRACKED LET'S GET BACK TO THE STOOOORRRYYY

Natsu made an awkward pose. "So I guess you know what happens when you play with fire!" He encased himself in the stuff.

In the shadow of Sans' fake hair, he narrowed his eyes, and then he made the yellow and light blue light flickering in his eye go away.

It made quite the image, really, his face illuminated by the orange flames.

"YOU GET BURNED!" Natsu yelled, continuing from his earlier statement. He punched the frying pan that Frying Pan was holding with a flaming fist. But all the flames were sucked into it. "I'm sorry to break it to you, kid, but fighting Fire Wizards is something we do well." Frying Pan said before kicking him away. "Very well." Bandana Man moved forward and attempted to kick Natsu, who easily dodged. Frying Pan attempted to hit Natsu with his frying pan, but he managed to move to the side with ease.

Wait a minute...

Was that a blue aura around him?

Indeed it was. Sans stood nearby, his right hand clenched into a fist as his left hand was pointed into the direction that Natsu slid in. It seems this 'kid' isn't as harmless as he seems...

But neither of the brothers paid attention to the kid who seemed to have manipulated the pink-haired teen's movements.

Natsu was then thrown into the door by Sans, the door opening with blue magic before he could slam into it. Then Natsu jumped onto the golden tongue of the Everlue Statue. "Fairy Tail may be a big-time guild and all, but you pathetic wizards are no match for trained mercenaries like us." Bandana Man said. Natsu scoffed. "If that's your best, then you're dead wrong." Bandana Man looked at him, angry. "Woah, this kid really thinks he can beat us?" He said. Frying Pan then looked at Natsu, "Do you happen to know what a wizard's greatest weakness is?" Natsu began panicking. "YOU TALKING ABOUT MOTION SICKNESS?!?!?" Frying Pan sweat-dropped. "Uh, I think that might be more of a personal problem..." He said. "Is he makin' fun of us?!" Bandana Man said. Frying Pan then looked back at Natsu. "Their weakness is their bodies!" He yelled, destroying the area Natsu had been standing moments earlier as he jumped away. "Since wizards have to focus so intensely on honing their mental abilities," Frying Pan said. "they neglect to train their bodies, which leaves them physically weak." Bandana Man said, smashing the wall Natsu had leapt onto. "On the other hand, we focus on our physical abilities." Frying Pan said, holding his frying pan in a defensive manner. "So we have more power and speed than you." Bandana Man finished, landing next to his brother. Natsu looked at them mockingly. "Oh, I am so scared." He said sarcastically. "Now stop your blabbing and let's dance." He taunted.

Suddenly, the brothers were knocked down. Behind them stood Sans, a bone in hand, face overshadowed.

Then, he asked, "I have a question for you..." He lifted his head, revealing empty eye sockets where there used to be eyes.

"Do you wanna have a bad time?"

Both brothers stood back up. "Where's he come from?!" Bandana Man said. Frying Pan slashed at Sans with the frying pan. "Doesn't matter." He said, expecting to see the short kid laying on the ground, defeated.

Sans had other plans, and instead was standing on the frying pan. "heh, i figured." Then he caught the surprised expression on both of their faces. "really, you actually expected me to stand there and take the hit?" He shrugged. Frying Pan then grunted as he flipped the frying pan over, hitting it on the ground. He felt a tapping on his shoulder and turned around to see Sans there. "Peekaboo." He said, voice so calm yet holding the threat underneath it. Then Bandana Man turned to his brother. "Hey bro, combo attack?" Sans sighed as he remembered Papyrus again. The word 'bro' triggered the memories. Then Sans mentally slapped himself. gotta live in the present, not the past. Then he watched them, analyzing their moves.

Frying Pan held out his frying pan as Bandana Man jumped onto it, arms outstretched. "That sounds good." Frying Pan responded to his brother. Then, in sync, they said, "Heaven and Earth Annihilation!" Natsu beckoned them over. "Bring it on!" He said. Sans teleported next to him, his left eye socket sporting his magic eye.

.........

Lucy was in a sewer system.

Lucy is using her Wind Reader Glasses. They allow the user to read at mind-boggling speeds.

THE STRANGE VOICE

"That's amazing! I knew this book held some sort of secret!" Lucy exclaimed. The wall behind her burst open, a hand coming out of it ad grabbing her wrists, keeping her in a position where, if she were to anger the holder, she could have her arms broken.

The holder in question was Everlue himself. "Well, then you share!" He said greedily. "Secrets don't make friends, you know!" Lucy glared at him, her teeth clenched. "No way! A man like you doesn't deserve to know what it is!" She looked back at him, one eye squeezed shut in pain. "You're an enemy of literature!"

.......

Both Frying Pan and Bandana Man were yelling. Suddenly, and without warning, Frying Pan launched Bandana Man into the air. Natsu looked up in surprise before Frying Pan appeared in front of them. He turned just in time to see Sans lazily bend backward, all signs of the blue and yellow light from his eye socket gone. "And I strike from the earth!" Frying Pan yelled as he hit Natsu with his oversized frying pan. Natsu was thrown into the wall but managed to catch himself before he could run into it, instantly dodging to the side at incredible speeds. "Look towards earth and fight from the sky!" Bandana Man yelled, kicking Natsu into the ground as he screamed in pain. "You have witnessed the true power of the Vanish Brothers. The Heaven and Earth annihilation technique." Frying Pan said. "It's a force very few are able to survive." Bandana Man said. Sans tapped on Bandana Man's back.

"hello? i was wondering if i was forgotten." He said. When Bandana Man turned around, Sans jumped up and smacked him in the face with a bone, presumably a femur due to the following pun. "just give me a femur minutes to think about whether i should participate or not." As Bandana Man was distracted by the short nuisance, the dust from the attack cleared up, revealing Natsu. "Guess I'm one of the few. Sorry guys." Frying Pan sweat. "No way!!" He yelled, grabbing his brother's attention.

"What?!" Bandana Man yelled. This gave Sans the perfect opportunity to whack both of them in the legs with the femur, causing them to fall down and create the most ironic scene ever. Seriously, falling down after being hit by a leg bone?!

While the brothers were trying to get up, Natsu punched his fists into each other, triggering a magic circle to appear. "Now I'm gonna blow you away! Fire Dragon's Roar!" Sans clapped as he dodged the burning flames. "nice pun, pink hair. thanks for making it to my hall of flame." He said. Frying Pan got up just in time to hold out his frying pan and let it absorb the fire. "Hah, Fire magic?" "We've got him!" Sans would have summoned a Gaster Blaster right then and there, but he didn't let his anger get the best of him.

"Flame Cooking!" Frying Pan yelled, letting the fire go straight into his frying pan as it steamed. "You see, my frying pan absorbs your flames and doubles their strength! Right back at ya!" He yelled, throwing it into Natsu's not-so-amused face. "That was a flame-cooked Fairy!" Bandana man exclaimed. "Goodbye, kid!" Sans gasped in fake shock, although he was still grinning like the Cheshire Cat. "oh no, natsu's dead. what shall i do, stop ribbing and start getting serious?" He said in the most sarcastic way ever, summoning a bone and lazily shucking it at Frying Pan's face.

A slurping sound came from the flames, the source of it being Natsu as the fire began to vortex into Natsu's mouth. When he was done, Frying Pan and Bandana Man held onto each other, scared out of their wits and screaming. Both were yelling 'oh no' when Natsu said, "Oh yeah! Now I've got some fire in my belly!" Then he clashed his fists together once again, the magic circle appearing before he jumped into the air, whipped his arms around, and yelled, "Fire Dragon's Wing Attack!" His arms suddenly had a trail of fire behind them...

All the windows of the Everlue Mansion blew up as all the residents of Shirotsume stared in shock.

The dust cleared, revealing Natsu standing by the burned bodies of Frying Pan and Bandana Man, neither of them dead or strangely, having any severe burns.

Natsu turned around. "Uh oh, did I overdo it again?" He asked.

........

Sans had teleported to Lucy, taking the book out of her hand.

"so, everlue, you said you wanted the book, huh?"