ONLY THREE CHAPTERS LEFT OMG

Chapter Thirty Four

I could hear an enforcer knocking on my door, signaling the beginning of a new day and a new period of my life. Today, I would be leaving Prince Gordon and his palace while being reunited with Kai.

Because I was brought here with nothing but the dirtied dress I was wearing, I had no bag. The dress had been cleaned, although it still appeared worn down. I had chosen to wear it anyway, not wanting to take what was not mine.

I walked out and the enforcers escorted me downstairs. The walk was silent as usual, however, this time there was a different air surrounding us. It was a somber one, shifting from its usual tenseness. However, from them, perhaps it buzzed with excitement at the thought of getting rid of the person that was less than human.

When I was downstairs, I could spot Kai standing near the entrance. He must have been dropped off earlier as the two of us would be returning to our village together. He had the same mindset as me, wearing the cheapest material he could possibly find in his closet. Today, it was a tank top much too small for him and a thin pair of shorts. It was an odd combination on him but I imagined he did not want to feel as if he owed either Prince anything.

Kai turned towards me, taking me in before his eyes flickered and he turned the other way. I could feel my pace slow down, reluctance forming in my steps. I had been right. Kai and I were not on good terms still and he was likely to continue ignoring me for a while. Was he angry enough to tell me to leave the village? Would he tell me I was only tainting the leap's name? Or would he decide to leave himself, finding a new leap?

I knew the answer to none of these questions and knew I would not receive one anytime soon. But I could still feel more questions bubbling throughout my mind, all colliding with one another as we walked outside, my future becoming more and more blurred.

It was bright outside, the sun smiling down upon us as if it was going to be a beautiful day. Even the trees sway gently, whispering happily to the grass and the flowers. The wind joined in, sending the messages between them all, laughing as it did so. How was it possible that such a horrible thing was happening on a day like this?

"Get in. We don't have all day," an enforcer grumbled, gesturing towards the open carriage. Kai growled lightly at him, cursing in our native tongue before doing as he said. I started in after him but before I made it in, someone began calling me.

"Ivy, wait!"

I turned, my mood momentarily lifting at the sight of Prince Gordon running towards me. I immediately rushed in his direction, wrapping my arms around him the moment we met. I could feel his heart beating erratically as he did the same, his breathing labored. He held me like that for a bit before he finally began speaking, not letting go this time.

"I am not allowed to escort you back to your village so this is the last time I will see you. I apologize-" he started but I hushed him, startling him when I nipped disapprovingly at his nose.

"Päästja, as I have told you, it is not your fault. You told me there is nothing that you could have done and I believe you. I only wish I could have gone about things differently," I said quietly, disappointed in myself and not him.

He ran a finger along my jaw, resting in one my braid. "It does not matter, Ivy. I took responsibility for the two of you when I allowed you to stay with me. Therefore, this is my fault. I will not let this go until I have found the culprit, my dear. Do not give up hope completely. Just when you have lost it is when it can be found again," he said, his voice holding a relentless determination, and I smiled at his words.

"I am going to miss you, päästja. Your wise words, lahke soul, and your patience. I hope you do not give up any of these things for anything the world offers you," I replied, adding, "You will always be my päästja, do not forget that." I ran my finger along the scar on his face, my scar, attempting to remember its feel.

His eyes softened at my words before he lifted his head slightly, pressing his lips against my hair. "You will always be my ilus dear, Ivy. Do not give up on me. I earned the opportunity to be called your savior and I will be just that," he whispered fiercely and I could feel my eyes stinging, tears building up in them.

"Goodbye, Cayne," I said quickly, knowing if I did not that I would not be able to hold back my sobs.

"Do not say goodbye. It is temporary," he said as he pulled away, standing off to the side. I walked towards the carriage, looking back at him once more. He smiled at me but it did not reach his eyes as it should have.

When the carriage drove off, I looked out the window, watching as he grew smaller and smaller but it did nothing to lessen the aching of my heart. He was not present, yet I could still feel the warmth and comfort he continuously provided me with.

"Did you ever love me?"

I turned towards Kai who had been watching me this whole time. He had taken in the scene with Prince Gordon, my tears, and my silence. That was one thing about Kai I continuously forgot about. He was always watching you, analyzing you, even when you did not think he was.

"Do you believe you loved me?" I questioned back, watching him. He wore hardened features, his face made of stone. I had expected no less, yet it still hurt. I did not blame him and knew I could not.

"Yes." He was quick to answer, leaving no room to think about the question. I frowned, knowing I was going down a pointless path. Kai would not be open towards thinking differently.

"Yes, I love you, Kai," I said softly, knowing this is true. "I always have and I have no doubt that I always will. However, I believe that is different from being in love with someone." Before, within the leap, the two were one in the same. However, upon meeting Prince Gordon, I no longer believed this to be true.

"Then you're in love with him, the Prince?" he spat, laughing humorlessly. "Where you do see that going, Ivy? I did not take you for being rumal. Do you truly believe a Prince can be involved with a shape-shifter without consequence? Do you not see how they are treating us right now, sending us to our village to die?" he snapped angrily. His mind had traveled down the same path as my own, both of us knowing this was a deathtrap.

"My opinion does not matter since we will not be alive for much longer, does it?" I shot back, silencing him. He simply huffed, dropping my gaze to look out the window. For now, he was satisfied.

We arrived at the village, Kai and I both amazed when we stepped out. They had attempted their best to recreate our village with little changes and had done so nicely. The houses looked just as I remembered them, the roofing on the houses a few shades darker. They had placed each one in the exact location they had been in before, creating the walkway that had been loved and cherished by our leap.

However, the longer we looked at it, the sadder we both grew. It was quiet. If there was one thing our village lacked, it was silence. The air was always filled with yelling, screaming, talking, and most of all, laughter. Even at night, some stayed up late by a fire, sharing stories about their past or giving advice to the younger leopards.

There was not a soul in sight. Everything that made the village our home, the leap we grew up in, was gone. Without them, it wasn't our village. With each passing second, it was losing its meaning, become similar to a foreign ghost town. We were so lost in trying to revive our past that we did not notice when the carriage left.

"Now what?" I whispered, feeling as if talking too loud would bring the village alive.

"Südame, we start our own leap." I blinked, looking at Kai. He was still staring at the village, his eyes holding a far away look. How was he able to go from snapping to calling me his süda once more?

"How are we supposed to do that?" I asked slowly, trying to make sense of his mood change.

He finally looked at me, his expression different. The was some emotion I could not decipher in it, but I grew more confused when he walked closer, grabbing my hands in his. He pressed his lips against them before meeting my eyes.

"I'm still willing to start a leap with you, Ivy. We can raise a family-" he started and I looked away, pulling my hands from his.

"No, Kai," I whispered, feeling him grab my chin and pull it in his direction. I studied him for a moment before finally reading what his features were holding: desperation.

"Ivy, we can't live here alone. We can start a family and build a leap. We will accept shape-shifters that pass by. I'll be a leap leader once again and you'll be my chosen mate," he explained as if it was that easy.

It was becoming clearer that he was desperate for things to be as they were. He needed the stability he had been provided as the leap's leader. I craved it as badly as he did but I knew it was not going to happen. Our leap was dead and replacing them would not change that.

I shook my head, stepping back and watching as he dropped his hand. "Kai, we are not starting a family. We can accept others as they pass-"

Just like that, a switch was turned off and his features hardened. The desperation was no longer there, only anger. "Forget it," he said shortly, storming off deeper into the village and disappearing out of sight.

I frowned, sighing. This would not go well. We needed to worry about our food source right now but I knew better than to try reasoning with Kai right now. When he was back to his senses, he would realize this. Between the two of us, he was always the more logical, strategic one. Yet, today seemed to have changed this.

I started towards one of the village's houses, interested to see how they looked on the inside. I was positive they would appear different, as humans hadn't viewed the interior. The only time they had done so was when they raided them, killing our leap.

However, before I could do so, I heard a loud growl. I froze, listening, hearing the sharp yell of a leopard next. I could feel my heart leaping out of my chest as I shifted and ran towards the sound, the world around me disappearing at the sight in front of me.

A snow leopard was lying on the ground, blood coating his fur. His teeth were bared as I ran towards him, kneeling down behind him. I whined, licking around the gaping wound on his chest. He couldn't die.

I was pressed so close to him that I could feel his body rumbling with a weak growl. I looked towards the direction he was growling, spotting three wolves.

lahke - (kind)

rumal - (foolish)

Ilus - (beautiful)

Süda - (heart) 

Südame - (my heart)

Päästja - (savior)