Chapter Thirteen

I only watched from the bed as the angry lumeleopard paced back and forth, determined to wear out the floor beneath him. I sighed, wishing he would calm down.

"Kallimale, come here. Worrying about our safety isn't going to change their perspectives of us," I murmured, beckoning Kai over with a finger.

He looked at me for a moment before he joined me on the bed, immediately pulling me into his lap. "I'm not worried for my own safety, südame. I don't care what they do to me," he said and I frowned, already growing frustrated with him.

"I care, Kai! If they hurt you, I won't last much longer. So if you really cared about me, you would care about yourself first," I said, grabbing his hand and linking his fingers with mine.

He turned my face slightly, and I felt him nip my nose, a method used by the leap to scold loved and little ones. "Don't you ever question whether I care for you. You are my süda, my elu. I do put myself first, Ivy, but that means worrying more about you because you're the only thing keeping me here," he said fiercely and my anger evaporated just like that.

"I'm sorry for snapping," I said softly, placing my lips on his shoulder before running my nose along his collarbone.

Kai's affection for me was the only thing I was sure about when it came to us. I knew he wouldn't hesitate to sacrifice himself for me, which scared me more than he realized. I didn't want it to ever come to that, and it was the reason I'd been so irritated.

"Ivy, I can't lose you, ever. I can't stand the thought of knowing you could be harmed because I didn't do enough to keep you safe. I would do anything if it meant you were happy," he said, his lips against my ear.

"You won't have to, ilmetja. I don't plan to go anywhere," I said softly, twisting around in his lap so that I could stroke his jaw.

However, based on the faraway look in Kai's eyes, he hadn't heard a single word I'd said. He was off in his thoughts but came back to me when I pressed my lips against his chin.

"Ivy, will you make me a promise?" he asked suddenly, a determined glint within the serious waters of his eyes.

I hesitated, knowing better than to just agree with him. "What is it, Kai?" I asked, seeing that he'd caught my hesitation to agree.

Fortunately, he answered me instead of arguing. "Promise you won't participate anymore. You can stay here while I let the public see our kind has changed," he began and I simply looked at him, so he continued.

"I'll do whatever the Prince wants me to do without a fight. I'll obey and nod when he speaks, as long as you stay here."

I pulled away from Kai, wanting to scream at him, but it seemed like that's all I had done recently. We were continuously snapping at one another, but it wasn't doing either of us any good.

I knew Kai believed he could behave, but I knew better. His dominant behavior was a part of him, something that wouldn't allow for him to bow down to the Prince. He had the characteristics of a leader and didn't seem to realize they were permanent.

The second Prince Gordon said something he didn't like, Kai would snap. If Prince Gordon didn't bow down, and he wasn't likely to, then Kai would hurt him. The guard in return would kill Kai as they had been itching to do ever since he'd entered the palace. Not only would I lose Kai, but any hope for the redemption of our kind would shatter.

"Why do you make a promise you know you can't keep?" I asked him quietly, attempting not to yell.

Kai stood up and walked over to me, lifting my chin to meet his eyes. "Südame, he and I may argue—"

"And that argument could get you killed, Kai! Can you not see that? Your nature is going to get you killed. I'm the only reason you have yet to be executed by the enforcers," I snapped, yanking away from him.

"I just want to protect you, Ivy; why can't you see that?" he snapped back, his anger competing with my own. But I wasn't going to back down.

"I can take care of myself, Kai," I said, turning to meet his stare with my arms crossed.

Kai stared back, as if he was considering something. I thought perhaps he would see my point and possibly change his ways. But I suppose that would make me the rumal one.

"If you don't stay here willingly, I'll tell Prince Gordon you can't handle this anymore, that it's become too much for you. I'm sure he'd keep you here; he wouldn't put his 'dear' into danger," Kai said calmly, spitting out Prince Gordon's pet name for me.

I tensed, Kai's words snaking around me, waiting for the perfect moment to strike. He was no longer asking me to stay; he was now threatening me if I didn't.

"You tell Prince Gordon that and I won't ever talk to you again. And you can find another to carry your cubs," I said just as evenly as he had.

His eyes flickered at the last part, his jaw clenching. Before he could respond, I turned and walked out, unsure of my destination.

Where I was going, I wasn't certain. The only thing that mattered was getting away from Kai and finding somewhere to breathe. Right now, that was all I could deal with.

I had blindly turned and gone through hallway after hallway and didn't realize where I was until I saw the crowd of enforcers against the wall. They were staring at me, some resting their hands on their weapons.

"Do you need something?" one asked, his voice chilling the air around me. I rubbed my arms, hesitating before replying.

"May I speak with Prince Gordon?" His eyes hardened at the question, not willing to let a shapeshifter near his Prince.

"He's busy and doesn't wish to be disturbed," he replied, his hard eyes still piercing me.

I started to walk away, outside perhaps, but another enforcer walked forward. "I'll tell him you're here," he said, nodding at me before slipping into the office.

The other enforcers were stealing glances at one another, trying to comprehend what had happened. Had their fellow enforcer helped such a waste of space?

Despite them, I found myself smiling. There were kind strangers everywhere; you just had to be patient. I had found one, and it had shed light on a darkening day.

The enforcer reappeared a few minutes later, standing by the door. "He said he'd see you," he said, waiting at the door for me.

I walked over, lightly placing a hand on his chest. "Thank you. You have a lahke soul; please don't ever waste it," I said softly, bowing my head briefly towards him before entering the room.

It was dark, but I found Prince Gordon's silhouette lying down on a couch that was pressed against the wall. One knee was bent upwards, the other resting against the back of the couch. His eyelids were visible, covering those green eyes, and he was rubbing his temples.

When the door closed, his eyes opened and found me. He gave me a weak smile before he returned his attention to his temples. "Hello, my dear. Is all all right?" he asked.

I walked over, kneeling at the edge of the couch so that I was at his level. "Yes, I just wanted to see you," I lied, adding, "Are you okay?"

"I will be fine as soon as this headache goes away," he murmured, still rubbing his head as if that would make it disappear quickly.

I carefully moved his hands, replacing them with my own. "Perhaps you should do something else to distract you from it," I tried, hearing his sigh in response.

"And what do you suggest?" he asked, sighing again with appreciation for my hands, causing me to smile.

"Have you eaten yet?" I asked and he briefly shook his head.

"Neither have I. We can eat together," I said and he finally opened his eyes again.

I have much work to do, Ivy. I should focus on finishing that," he said, his eyes holding reluctance at doing just that.

"You can't work on an empty stomach," I said and stood up, reaching my hand for his.

His eyes turned light as he gave me a smile. "And are you the one preparing our meal? If so, I am afraid I cannot abandon my work," he teased and I fought back a smile.

"If you stay here, then you'll force me to fix the food and—" I didn't even have to finish because he was already getting up.

"I will call for Kai to join us," he started but paused when he noticed my sudden change.

"Has something happened?" he asked gently. All too quickly, I shook my head and smiled.

"Kai's busy. Now let's go before I decide I want to cook," I replied, grabbing his hand and leading him out the door.

When we left, it was Prince Gordon's turn to lead and he did so, my arm in his. We talked lightly along the way before we finally reached our destination.

He led us to a small room that held a square table at its center, surrounded by matching chairs. The table was covered by a black cloth, but you could still see its legs. There was a square centerpiece in the middle that held an assortment of pebbles. On the pebbles were two similar white lilies, claiming the attention.

"It's so beautiful," I whispered, hesitantly stepping into the room, afraid its beauty would shatter.

"I use it when I prefer to be alone and in a calming environment. However, I think perhaps you are in need of it tonight," he explained as he walked in behind me.

I looked at him, waiting, but he didn't press the subject any further. He only walked over to one of the chairs, pulled it out and looked over at me.

I smiled, walking over and sitting in the chair. I thanked him as he pushed it in before he walked over to his own seat.

"What would you like tonight? The guards will inform the chef of our decision and he will prepare it as you please. Everything you could dream of is stocked in the kitchen," he said with a smile and I laughed.

I opened my mouth, but then something happened. The lighting changed its position, focusing on Prince Gordon's face. The first thing I noticed was the radiating smile that seemed to be meant only for me. But then I noticed the scar.

I don't know how I hadn't noticed it before. It was no longer covered as it had been many hours ago, I supposed, to let it breathe and heal. It looked worse than I had imagined and no amount of healing would get rid of it. There would always be a scar there, because of me.

"Stop it."

I looked away from him at the unusually harsh tone of his voice. He could see the guilt in my face, that much I was sure of. It wouldn't disappear, just like the scar, because I couldn't feel anything but regret and guilt whenever I saw it.

"My dear, I want us to enjoy this evening. We cannot do so if you continue to look as if you killed me with your bare hands," he said much softer, but I still didn't look.

"Ivy, please, for me?" he asked and I looked at him in surprise.

He was a Prince, yet he was pleading to me. It was equivalent to him submitting to me, which wasn't something I ever expected from him.

I looked at him and found sincerity in his eyes before I hesitantly nodded. "Only for my paästja," I replied, selfishly loving that his eyes seemed to light up at the use of his pet name.

We chatted for a while before I finally told him what I wanted. He thought that fish sounded like an excellent idea and we decided to have green beans with it, along with rolls and baked potatoes.
Prince Gordon called in the enforcer and told him what we wanted before he left the two of us alone again. I then proceeded to ask him about his life.

I learned that it had been a hard one. As the eldest child, he was expected to do more, to be better than his other brothers. Prince Gordon had been expected to be the perfect child, but in his eyes, he had grown up much too fast and never had a childhood. He had told me it didn't bother him, but I believed it was because he didn't realize what he was missing.

He also told me his brothers weren't fond of their parents, but he was grateful for them. Their determination had gotten him where he was, and he couldn't have possibly asked for a better life.

There was suddenly a knock on the door, interrupting us. Prince Gordon cleared his throat before inviting them in.

Two chefs entered, one pushing a cart with two plates covered by dome-shaped covers. The other followed behind, smiling, and caused the Prince to do the same.

"Ivy, this is my newest chef, Chef Marco. Tonight we were fortunate to have Chef Alex join him," he said with laughter that the smiling chef shared.

Chef Marco set the two plates in front of us. Chef Alex joined him and they took off both the domed covers. The steam quickly escaped, clouding my vision.

The food smelled heavenly, invading my senses. The plate was set perfectly, almost too nice to eat. It was colorful, yet not too much so. The smell was what caught my attention the most, ineffable.

"Tonight, Chef Alex and I have prepared the finest catfish seasoned and fried in oil. We have also served lightly seasoned, steamed green beans along with buttered, baked rolls. The last portion is a baked potato topped with diced tomato and green onions, a small amount of butter, a dollop of sour cream and chopped bacon."

"Thank you, Chef Marco, Chef Alex. You're dismissed," Prince Gordon said, and I was sure to thank them as well before they left.

"Why is Chef Alex here tonight? Is he visiting?" I asked before taking a bite of the food. I gave an appreciative murmur, which Prince Gordon laughed at.

"Yes and no. Chef Marco is his life partner; however, he is not here by choice. His Prince was kicked out of his own palace," Prince Gordon said with a smile, bringing up more questions.

He saw my confused expression and explained, "My brother brought his companion to a dinner. He decided while my parents were still upset with Calyx's situation, it would be best to tell of his own. My parents were not satisfied with the news, angering his companion. She kicked him out and as punishment, he dragged Chef Alex with him because she adores him very much. So they are both here for the night."

I found myself laughing, as it was clear the girl had the Prince wrapped around her finger tightly. She was able to kick him out of his own palace. Prince Gordon wasn't annoyed by his brother's situation but amused.

We continued talking until he cut me off. "Enough about me, dear. I am not a very interesting person," he said and I laughed.

"Paästja, you're the most interesting person I've ever had the honor of meeting. You control acres of land and run a palace, but still have time for pleasures like this," I said before smiling and adding, "You're sure to find an enchanting Princess who realizes this."

He watched me for a moment, causing me to think I had overstepped my boundaries. But he finally gave me a soft smile. "I do not think I have ever met someone as wise or as beautiful as you."

I blushed, looking away and making him laugh. In that moment, I couldn't help but notice the way my heart seemed to stutter, temporarily forgetting its intended path.

[lumeleopard - snow leopard]

[paästja - savior]

[süda - heart]

[südame - my heart]

[elu - life]

[rumal - foolish]

[imletja - admirer]

[kallimale - loved one]