-Chapter starts with Changlix, then switches to Hyunjin that will lead into a Seungjin chapter next update!-

-Long chapter ahead!-

The same day as the previous chapter

-

"Pleeeaaase Lixxxx?" Hyunjin whines while holding onto the freckled boy's white long sleeve shirt.

"I really don't think it's a good idea Jinnie." Felix softly takes Hyunjin's hands off of his shirt and places them in Hyunjin's lap.

"Lix you know I can't go alone." Hyunjin pouts and tries his best at puppy dog eyes at his friend. Felix smiles brightly at Hyunjin's attempt at being cute which was in fact extremely adorable. The older boy's bottom lip was out and he was making a point to look into Felix's eyes while looking sad knowing he won't be able to say no.

"Ugh you're adorable Jinnie! Fine! But we are only going for a hour." Felix sighs, ultimately defeated but Hyunjin's adorableness.

"Thank you, Lix." Hyunjin embraces his friend in a warm hug.

Later that evening - 9:30pm

Felix was in his apartment cooking a meal with lots of carbs. (I am not good with food lmao so he's just making a pasta dish, I imagine it as Penne pasta with chicken or something heh)

He knew how his night would end up and he was not looking forward to it. He had thought of ways to get out it, but there was no logical way to avoid it. He reached out to a few friends in hopes any of them would be free tonight so maybe they could tag along with him and Hyunjin but that resulted in the feeling of defeat and regret in the pits of Felix's stomach. Regret to ever saying yes to Hyunjin's plan.

Sighing, Felix sets a timer for the chicken to cook and slowly walks to his living room to rest until his best friend shows up any minute.

Felix pulls his phone out of his pocket and unlocks it to start aimlessly scrolling to pass time. Nothing seemed to interest the boy tonight. His stomach was twisting and turning and there was a gut feeling that something not so pleasant might happen tonight.

Feeling frustrated and anxious, Felix throws his head back to look up at his living room ceiling which has green and blue glow in the darks stars littered all over it. He continues to feel that gut-wrenching feeling. It feels as if his stomach is completely empty and twisting itself into a knot. He sighs and starts to count the green stars as a distraction.

1.. 2.. 3.. 4.. 5.. 6.. 7.. 8.. 9.. 10..

Now, he counts the blue stars.

1.. 2.. 3.. 4.. 5..

-TW! Anxiety Attack-

He picks his head up and looks around his dimly lit living room. Feeling his heart rate start to pick up, Felix closes his eyes for a second, thinking back to his coping mechanisms he's learned. He doesn't usually have to put these mechanisms to action, but seeming how it does happen every so often, he's very glad for the research he has done on anxiety.

"5 things I can see" Felix whispers to himself as he feels his phone vibrate in his hand. He ignores it and continues looking around the room.

"Couch"

"Table"

"Window"

"Books"

"Phone"

Felix feels his phone vibrate in his hand again but this time it keeps going. Someone is calling him. Felix groans and turns his phone over in his hands to see the screen and stops breathing for a second realizing who is calling him.

Incoming call from Changbinne..

Felix frowns and declines the call. "Not right now Changbin, please.." He whispers to himself as he feels the tears start welling in his eyes.

"Where was I?" He questions himself, feeling even worse now because his method of calming down his anxiety was interrupted and getting back on track when his mind is going crazy is basically impossible and his body was started to be affected as well. He can feel his hands start to slightly shake as he feels his chest tighten. Felix grabs at his chest as he has lost all coherent thoughts.

He feels his phone vibrate in his lap again and looks down. Another call.

Incoming call from Changbinnie..

Felix doesn't hesitate to answer this time knowing he is too far gone from being able to calm himself down.

"Hey Lix" Changbin says as he smiles finally getting ahold of the younger.

There was silence for a few seconds, Felix feeling the lump in his throat ready to jump out.

Taking a deep breath, Felix answers..

"B-Binnie"

Changbin's heart drops hearing the freckled boy's voice crack.

"Lix? Are you okay?"

Upon hearing that question, Felix knew exactly what was coming. He hated that question so much for this exact reason. The tears started to fall as his hands started to shake terribly, barely being able to hold onto his phone. Once someone asks if he's okay, he suddenly can't keep it in anymore.

"Please can you come over? P-Please?" Felix manages to get out as he chokes on his sobs. There is nothing Felix can properly focus on so Changbin is his next best option. If he can't calm himself down, maybe the older boy can.

"O-Okay, Lix. I'll come over okay? I'll be there but can you do something for me?" Changbin speaks gently as he has a feeling as to what was going on.

"Y-yes" Felix grips his phone extremely tight to try and focus on Changbin's voice.

"I need to know your address, is that okay Lix? Can you tell me your address?"

Felix starts nodding his head trying to focus on answering the idol.

"I- I-" Felix stutters not being able to manage a single thought.

"Okay, it's okay Lix! It's okay, I'm assuming Jeongin has your address since you are friends, right? Is it okay if I ask him for it?" Changbin asks trying to reassure the boy that he won't ask him without his consent.

"Y-Yes"

"Okay, stay on the phone with me okay? I'll text him and start heading over now."

..

Changbin runs all the way down the hallway, searching for the freckled boy's apartment.

141.. 142.. 143!

Changbin stops in front of the door and knocks and after waiting for an answer, he calls out to the boy through the door.

"Lix I'm coming in okay?"

Changbin opens the door and immediately takes his shoes off and rushes right into the kitchen as he heard a timer going off. Changbin looks around assuming the timer is for something in the kitchen and then catches a glimpse of the oven and he hurriedly grabs a hot pad to grab the chicken out of the oven to place on the stove and turn the oven off.

He then rushes out of the kitchen right into the living room just to see Felix curled up in a ball on the floor silently sobbing to himself.

Changbin rushes over to the boy, hesitant to reach out and touch him when he is clearly in a vulnerable state. He decides not to and started to speak softly to the crying boy.

"Lix, hey, I'm here now okay?" That seemed to pull Felix back to reality a bit.

Felix looks up from where he is laying on the floor to see a crouching Changbin looking worried.

Felix immediately moves onto his knees and hugs Changbin, wrapping his arms around Changbin's waist and starts sobbing into the older boy's chest.

"P-Please hold me, it'll h-help." Changbin immediately wraps his arms around the younger boy, rubbing his back to try to help calm him down.

"N-no, h-hold me" Felix says as he squeezes Changbin in an effort to explain what he means.

"Squeeze you?" Changbin asks softly, a bit confused.

"Please" Felix cries, not being able to handle the way his body feels or the thoughts his mind is creating.

Changbin squeezes Felix, trying not to squeeze him too hard. He can feel the boy shaking and squeezes just a bit tighter.

"C-Changbin please" Felix sobs feeling himself need some form of release.

Changbin sighs not realizing what Felix really needed.

"Lix I don't know what to do, I'm sorry." Changbin continues trying to squeeze Felix without causing any harm.

"Tighter p-please"

"Okay Lix, I won't hurt you?" Changbin asks the younger for reassurance, receiving a small and quiet 'no' from Felix as Changbin squeezes almost as tight as he can.

A few minutes pass by with the two boys in the same position and Changbin still squeezing Felix as tight as the boy needed. Slowly, Changbin feels Felix start to loosen his grip around him. Changbin puts his hand on the back of Felix's neck, trying to get the younger boy's attention. Felix lifts his head up slowly, still coming down from his anxiety attack.

"Hey, are you starting to feel okay?" Changbin looks into the freckled boy's soft eyes, not seeing any sunshine like he did just a few days before.

"Y-Yes.. I feel really embarrassed." The younger boy avoids eye contact, refusing to face the idol.

"Lix, there is no reason to feel embarrassed. It's okay, I'm just really glad I could help you. I'm sorry it took so long." Changbin sighs, feeling a bit exhausted himself.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. Felix immediately looks up at Changbin realizing he forgot Hyunjin was coming over.

"Hey Fucker! Answer the door I know you're here!" Hyunjin makes his voice known through the closed door.

Felix sighs and rests his head on Changbin's shoulder, feeling completely drained.

"Want me to?" Changbin asks, hoping to help Felix in any way he possibly can. The boy looked completely done and in need of a good rest.

"Please" Felix whispers and Changbin nods, softly grabbing Felix's hands to put them in the younger boy's lap. As Changbin goes to stand up, Felix rushes to grab his wrists which causes Changbin to be in an awkward position between standing and sitting.

"Don't leave me" Felix looks up at Changbin as if he was the only thing in his universe, which right now, he is. Felix is still feeling the after affects of his anxiety attack, meaning he doesn't have full control over his senses. So relying on sight and touch is important right now, and what he can see and feel is Changbin. Only Changbin.

"Okay, okay. It's okay, I'm not going anywhere." Changbin sits back down to embrace the younger again and proceed to calm him down more.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the door..

"The fuck.." Hyunjin whispers to himself as he gives up trying to get his friend out of the apartment. If Felix won't go drink with him, he'll drink by himself. Though, Hyunjin has a reputation to do stupid shit when he is drunk.

Sighing, Hyunjins starts walking down the hallway and to the steps. As he is walking down the few flights of stairs, he pulls his phone out to dial his other best friend.

After a few rings, there's some movement heard on the other end of the phone.

"Mmph- Hello?"

"Minho! What are you doing?" Hyunjin says joyfully, trying not to lose complete hope that he won't have to go get drunk by himself.

"... I'm busy, what's up?"

Hyunjin sighs, feeling annoyed at his friends and himself. Why did he even want to drink with them?

"Doing what?" Hyunjin pushes for an answer. He feels awkward with how his friends are acting right now. First, Felix didn't answer his door after he agreed to go to the club with Hyunjin, and now Minho doesn't even want to tell him....

Wait...

Is...

"Lee Minho are you and Felix together right now? Be honest with me. I'm tired man."

"Woah what? No, I'm with Jisung."

Hyunjin audibly gasps.

"Like a date?? And you didn't tell me? Ugh do you guys even like me anymore why do I know this stuff last" Hyunjin was for sure being his over dramatic self as always, but there was some genuine questioning in his tone. He felt as if his friends didn't want to be around him anymore. He knows he can be much at times and his friends have openly called him annoying before, so he's used to it. Though the feeling always hurts just as bad.

"No, it's not a date. We are just hanging out." Minho answers, accidentally missing the last part of what Hyunjin said.

"Whatever you say, enjoy your date" Hyunjin quickly says as he has been walking this entire time and has now reached the bus stop.

"Shut up bitch, have fun doing whatever you're doing."

"Hmm" Hyunjin hangs up and puts his phone in his pocket as the bus pulls up.

..

2 and a half hours later..

Sweaty bodies all over each other, no personal space, the same pop playlist playing as every other night, bodies grinding on one another, and Hyunjin was in the center of it all.

4 drinks and 4 shots deep and Hyunjin was thoroughly enjoying himself. He was dancing with a pretty stranger and had no thoughts within any radius in his mind. He could feel the way the stranger held his hips and Hyunjin loved every second of it. He has this boy's full attention as he moved his hips teasingly towards the said stranger. He could feel the guy's hands tighten around his waist.

"Hmm, If you keep dancing like that I'm gonna be tempted to take you home tonight." The stranger somewhat whispers into Hyunjin's ear, which is difficult already with the music and bass blasting throughout the entire club.

Hyunjin feels chills throughout his entire body upon this stranger whispering in his ear. He could feel his stomach drop, not knowing whether that's what he really wanted. His body and hormones said yes, a million times yes, but his mind was still barely holding onto coherent and functioning Hyunjin. Did he really go out to get drunk and have a one night stand? He wanted an escape, and he has his escape right now, dancing and drinking. Did he want to go and have sex and then just to have to face reality right after?

Hyunjin was lost in thought at this point, which the stranger saw the conflict happening in Hyunjin's eyes.

"I'll only do it if I have your consent, don't worry." The stranger smiles at Hyunjin, which brings some reassurance to him.

"Buy me another shot then let's go" Hyunjin yells over the music so the other boy can hear him. Receiving a nod as a response, the two boys make their way to the smaller bar in the corner of the club.

The stranger ended up getting a shot for himself and 2 shots for Hyunjin, though the already drunk Hyunjin wasn't fazed at all and downed them both as he immediately felt them taking affect due to Hyunjin's completely empty stomach. Whenever he knows he'll be going out to the bar or club, Hyunjin doesn't eat for hours before so he can feel everything to the full extent.

Turning back towards the stranger, Hyunjin grabs his hand and starts to walk out of the club.

A/n hii 🤭

i wrote this all today and i'm honestly proud of it because it's almost 3,000 words
and i already have the next chapter written out so another update soon
ty <3