Chapter One: Happy End

I wish I could be selfish now.

That thought lasted for a second before he forced it out of his head, because if he was to be selfish, he would still end up dying. The war was still going to continue.

He'd left everything behind, hadn't he? He'd said an—albeit indirect—goodbye to Lillian, and he'd said one to Yan too. As for Fabio—no matter how messed up he was, he would get over it eventually. All of them would.

And it hurt, in a strange kind of way. His mind tingled with the still-fresh memories of the dream he had back in the Hoenn base, and he could still feel the fear he'd had when everyone had seemed to forgotten him. It hurt.

Life isn't fair, idiot. Get over it. His own mind chided him once again, annoyed and fed up with the way his heart was heading in a different direction than it, and he let out a sigh from between his gritted teeth.

Without looking back—he wasn't sure if his resolve would stay if he did—he forced himself to take the final few steps to the castle.

Part of him was relieved. Would his heart have been aching like that if he'd been doing this a month ago?

The building was dimmer than he remembered it to be. His steps were careful; the first few rooms were empty and unlit, but the light coming from the heart of the fortress told him that he had come to the right place.

"So you actually did come," Xerneas murmured, turning her head as she heard his footsteps enter the room. "I was half expecting you to change your mind."

Avis kept quiet. He had changed his heart—he didn't want to die, he really didn't—but nothing would change if he followed it. There was bound to be an uglier future for all of them and after all they'd been through, he didn't want that to happen.

"If I had decided to ditch you, what would happen?" he asked. "Would you come after me?"

"That would depend on what Arceus orders us to do." Her gaze was sharp. "And before you ask, we've decided to start following him again. If everything turns out well, it'll all go back to normal. We'll be able to work as we did before the war."

Back to normal. The words rested bitterly in his mouth, as if someone had poured a container of acid down his throat.

If he died, it would be back to normal.

"Oh, the brat's here?" He had never been more relieved to hear Yveltal's gruff tone. The Legendary's words were harsh, but there was an underlying tone of softness that he appreciated. "When are we starting the reincarnation ceremony?"

"We still have a few hours," Xerneas muttered back. "He's a bit early. Should we keep him here until then, or should we just start earlier and end earlier?"

There was a pause before the beast spoke again. "Let him have time to breath before he dies. Besides, I'd like to have a small talk with him before he's gone—you know I hate going to Heaven—so just give him another hour or so."

The Pokemon pawed at the ground for a moment. "That wouldn't hurt." she replied. "Go ahead, then. I'll give a final report to Arceus while you talk to him."

She wheeled around and walked out of the room, the clip-clop of her hooves fading away into the distance, and he was left alone with Yveltal.

"Are you afraid of this?" The creature's voice was soft, out-of-place for such a ghastly-looking thing, and he had half a mind to scoff at the juxtaposition. "I mean, you're going to be dead in an hour. No one would blame you if you were."

Avis sucked in a sharp breath. "Not really. I'm just...sad, I guess. But I understand why I have to do this."

"Anyone would be sad in this situation," the Legendary assured. "What you're feeling is fine. What I wanted to talk to you about was what you're doing. Is dying alone like this really what you want? I know no one except that herb-shop girl knows."

"That way, it will hurt less, right?" He let out a deep sigh—he didn't quite trust his tone. "Besides, you told me not to tell anyone."

"That is true, but it still hurts looking at how pitiful you are," Yveltal bit back. "Are you not considering telling them what happened? I can send for someone to deliver a message."

He focused his gaze on the ground. "That isn't necessary."

The Pokemon stared at him with an unconvinced look, and even without looking back, he could feel the beast's piercing gaze stab through his soul. "It won't help, you know. You might think that you're doing a good thing, but it will just hurt anyone in the end."

Avis stayed silent at that, but he couldn't help the flinch that crossed his face.

"Seeing you like this makes me happy that you've grown in a month, but it still makes me feel bad for you, y'know?" Yveltal's voice was gentle. "They wouldn't understand. They'd be sad, wouldn't they?"

A month ago, he'd have laughed and spat in his face. A month ago, he'd have told Yveltal that he didn't have anyone who cared enough.

Shit, he thought. I can't be thinking this now.

"I've seen many people dying alone and secluded," Yveltal warned. "They thought it would make others happier. They made everything worse."

He bit his tongue at that.

A moment later, he asked for a piece of paper.

§

"Are you done?" Xerneas asked, her smooth voice echoing across the empty room—if Yveltal wasn't counted—and her hooves filling up with the silence with a irregular rhythm of raindrop-like sounds. "We'll have to start soon."

"What? Uh, yes." He glanced down at the letter he'd written—Yveltal had been right. Once he had started writing, he'd realised he'd screwed up, because oh, Arceus, I only have one sheet of paper and I have so many things to tell them.

The other Legendary kept silent, as if trying to tell him some kind of silent message, but his heart throbbed too much for it to reach him.

"Very well," the creature replied. "Then please come over here. We'll be starting the reincarnation ceremony."

He suppressed a gulp as he walked over. It was the very center of the room, where Xerneas was busy setting up a circle of objects that he didn't know the origin of, and he couldn't deny that it felt a little more than overwhelming.

"These rocks are what we had to find," Xerneas sighed. "We had to collect them from all over Kalos in order for this to work. That and the mental preparation to use this power—one that we usually tap on only if Arceus deems it so—that's why it took us a month."

Avis scowled. "I came here to die, not listen to a useless lecture I don't care about."

"If you wish for this to be over, then," the creature muttered, cross-shaped pupils glinting as she nudged the last piece of stone into place. "Yveltal, to the other side."

The Pokemon didn't spare him a glance as he moved into position, and he supposed that it was for the best. He didn't know if he would be able to take anything else if it came his way.

"Lie down, child." Yveltal had taken over now, and he complied with a small, trapped noise at the back of his throat. The room's ceiling seemed to spin before him; it was then he noticed just how big everything was and how small he was in the face of it all, and he was scared.

He now understood what the creature had asked him—are you scared?

Yes, he was. He was scared of not being able to feel anything more. He was scared of not waking up again.

But that didn't matter, right?

The two Legendaries had already started, and even if he wanted to get up and run out of the castle, he couldn't. All he could do was try to steady his breathing and tell himself that everything would be over soon.

"Will it hurt?" He couldn't think straight—it was as if the life was being sucked straight out of it, and he supposed that it was true in some way or other.

"Don't worry." Yveltal was staring at him again, and despite his words, he could feel his chest starting to tighten. His head was starting to fog up and lose touch of the world around him; he wondered if this was how Aiden had felt when he'd been killed. "It won't."

He didn't have the comfort of dying like this.

The slurred thought tasted like blood in his mouth.

There was a strange tugging sensation in his body for several moments, dark spots starting to dance in front of his vision as his thoughts came and went, and though he thought he heard Xerneas mutter something, he couldn't be sure when it felt like there was cotton plugging his ears.

Another pull came, but he didn't feel any pain. It was as if a thick sheet had been placed over him as he as the Legendaries continued working.

Shit. His eyes could barely make out the vivid hues of Xerneas' lit horns. How long more would it be until he couldn't make out anything?

His answer came when there was a final haul, nothing but numbness flooding through each vein in his body, and all of a sudden, he felt himself in someplace different; he was in the air now, and he was looking down at his limp body.

Avis felt sick and ever-so-slightly out of place—in a literal way too, but he didn't say anything.

"We've separated your soul from your body." Yveltal's voice was quiet. "It has become a vessel. Your soul will be sent to purgatory, and you'll be sent to Heaven after that." There was another pause. "I presume you understand?"

Was he a ghost like Aiden now? "...yes. I do."

"Alright," the creature muttered. "We're sending you there now so that the exchange of souls can be completed. We'll allow you to spend a few minutes with your brother in purgatory."

He tensed up at that. "What?"

"You never got the chance to have a proper talk with him, right?" Yveltal averted his gaze, and the volume of his tone dropped a little. "At the very least, you'll have that time. You've smoothed things out with everyone except him."

He let out a small sound at that. "Oh."

"Most people don't even have this opportunity, child." Xerneas glanced at him with a pitying look in her eyes, and he didn't have the heart to tell her to stop it. "Of course, this isn't a normal situation. Be grateful that we're giving you the chance."

Yveltal shot his counterpart a warning gaze, his focus on the circle wavering for a split-second. "This isn't the time for this."

"I'm saying this because I know he hates me!" she argued back, not taking her eyes off the spot where his body was lying. "He thinks I don't care, but it pains me every time a life—no matter what it is—is taken! I represent Life, after all!"

"I don't blame you," Avis tried to mutter. "I dislike you, but that's all there is to it."

"This isn't about you," the Pokemon grumbled back. "This is about my feelings and my conscience. If asking Arceus for this small favour is what it takes, then so be it."

Avis tried to look away from the corpse on the ground, and his eyes met with the startling cyan of the Legendary's unusual eyes—eyes that were filled with remorse and self-righteousness and about a hundred other emotions.

Perhaps he didn't like Xerneas, but he couldn't say that he didn't understand her.

"Alright." He tried to swallow; to get the invisible ball of matter out of his throat, but it didn't help. "Thank you. Thank you, Yveltal."

"Out of all the things that I've been called, a father had not been one of them." A hint of bitter amusement rang in his tone. "That makes me sort of happy. You're welcome, Avis."

He wanted to respond, but it was like his voice had been removed—and he only remembered falling after that.

§

Avis wondered if it was possible to fall in reverse.

It wasn't logical for him to be falling. He was going to purgatory, after all, and that was up; it was supposed to be just shy of Heaven. But he felt like the weight of the world was still crashing down on his shoulders, dragging him all the way into hell, and he was confused.

Wind roared in his ears as he continued to plunge downwards—not really down, but—and it only hurt the tiniest bit as he found himself spiralling into a world of inky black.

"You—"

He felt his feet hit a ground that he couldn't quite make out, and he raised his tired head to see Aiden staring at him.

His brother's eyes had changed. They used to shine—they used to be the very eyes he looked up to—but the light in them had dimmed, and the way they glanced at him reminded him more of himself with every passing second.

"So Yan was right." Avis forced a laugh that bordered on hysteria—but how could hysteria be so calm? "You were there after all."

"That doesn't matter." Aiden frowned at his response. "I'm so sorry. You're going to die, and I don't want that to happen. Why does it have to happen?"

There was a pause before he spoke once again. "Because life goddamn sucks, Aiden. Get over it." His shoulders were shaking, and he wanted nothing more than to cry there and then, but he'd used up all his tears in the past few days. "I should be the one apologising, right? I was an ass to you."

"That doesn't matter," his brother murmured, taking a step towards him and looking at him with a woebegone gaze. "I don't want you die. You don't deserve it."

Avis snorted. "What I deserve may not be what the world needs," he scoffed. "Sure, I don't want to die, but it happens. Just think of it as a chance of me to make it up to you, OK?"

"But I never blamed you!" Aiden's breath hitched, and the only thing going thorough his mind was I can't deal with any more tears right now. "How is it going to be OK if you aren't here, damn it? How is everything going to carry on?"

"Aiden, if I have to, I will be an asshole to you." He was tired of trying to convince his brother that everything was going to be fine, because in reality, he didn't know. "It's going to be back to normal. As usual."

Life always carried on with me in the shadows.

"Back to normal?" The boy's voice was more than incredulous. "You're my brother. How is everything going to be normal?"

He rubbed his eyes with a sigh. "You're always so emotional."

"Am I not supposed to be when you're dying?"

"Of course I don't want to die!" he snapped. "Of course I want to keep on living and try to have a chance to really live with you and the others! But I don't—have—a—choice!"

So I was never alright with it after all.

The two of them stood stock-still for the next few moments, glaring at each other with tears in their eyes, and this time—unlike all the other times before that—he broke the silence.

"Come here," he muttered, wrapping his arms around his brother tightly and not letting go, his heart dropping as he heard his brother let out a choked sob. "I'm sorry, Aiden. I should have done this a long time ago."

"I'll miss you," his twin mumbled through his tears. "You shouldn't be dying, but..."

In the end, he was crying again, but they weren't sad tears. That was enough for him. "Take care of Yan for me."

Breaking the hug broke his resolve just a little bit more, but he forced himself not to look at Aiden. He couldn't bear to stay there for a second longer.

...Yeah. This is fine.

He thought he heard something as he walked away—some sort of familiar noise. He felt something stir in him for a moment; and just as he thought he was done, he heard Yveltal whisper don't tell Xerneas about this and felt himself in his body for long enough to close his eyes.

"It's—"

For the first time in a long while, Avis went to sleep feeling warm.

§

ahaha almost 3000 words :^D

no, this isn't the last chapter! my birthday isn't today lol--

i considered a lot of things for the ending--i did consider having a plot twist and not killing avis, but i really wanted to write the scene so there you have it your shitty reasoning

the song in the media is an english cover of "namae wo yobu yo" by dima lancaster!

Thank you guys so much for 7.2K reads and 1.1K votes!! :0 You have no idea how much this means to me <3

As always, votes, comments and critiques are very appreciated °˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖°

• miya