Chapter Five: Life Is Only Full Of

"There's a small disturbance in the plan," Xerneas frowned. "It seems that some pesky person is trying to mess with us."

"Who is it?" It took her counterpart a few moments to respond, and the solemn look on his face was even darker than usual. "And is it a serious thing? You know that one human would not be able to break our plan. If this one is able to, then it means that you are stupid."

The Legendary stamped her hoof in a momentary display of childish pettiness before replying. "Someone from Heaven, apparently. That foolish woman who decided to first befriend Zygarde and got herself killed by Arceus."

"You told me to forget about our Lord when the attacks started," Yveltal commented, a mirthless smirk decorating his face. "Are you telling me that you have changed your mind?"

A frustrated noise left the deer's mouth. "I'm not saying that. I'm saying that Arceus might be able to help prevent whatever is going to take place. And besides, I only suggested leaving the Lord until things had settled down a bit."

There was a moment of silence when the both of them stared at each other, Xerneas' cross-like irises glinting especially bright in the dim, abandoned castle they stood in.

"Man, and you're supposed to be a Legendary..." A deep sigh left Yveltal's mouth. "In the end, you're pretty selfish, aren't you? Trying to push all the blame away even though you know it's our fault that someone's going to die?"

"Am I supposed to be sorry?" she huffed. "You wouldn't know about what I have to do to protect my reputation. You don't even have one in the first place."

Her counterpart stiffened, dipping his head as he conceded defeat. "You got me on that one," he admitted. "But I know you care about everything that's going on now. It's the only reason why you're willing to suck up your pride and ask Arceus for help."

"Are you praising me after calling me pretentious?" the Pokemon sighed. "No matter. We'll report to Arceus as soon as we can."

§

"So..." Her voice was hoarse, and her hands were clenching around the fabric of her skirt. "You'll be dead by the end of the day."

"I'm already dead," he replied flatly, because his mind was foggy and it was the best time to crack a joke. "Not much difference there."

He frowned as his friend's gaze dropped to the floor, more irritated than angry, and he could have sworn that she would have killed him with her glare if he was alive and well—but he wasn't either of them and that was the reason why they were in this shitty situation.

The girl bit her lip at that. He couldn't quite see the expression on her face; half of it was bandaged and the other half was obscured by her hair, but the temperature in the room seemed to plummet more than a few degrees.

Aiden felt more than a little helpless. He didn't want to open his mouth to speak again; it was far too tiring and it would dry out his parched lips even more, but he knew that Yan deserved something more concrete than a few mumbled words.

"I'm sorry," he repeated, feeling a bit like a tape on loop. "Lacia tricked me into doing it. I had no idea what her true intentions were."

That was a lie. He'd always had an inkling that something was off with the woman—he'd just chosen not to notice. It was a problem with his personality that he knew would come back to bite him one day, and he'd always reminded himself to fix it.

It didn't matter now. He'd screwed up so badly this time that he couldn't even think about the future. The future didn't matter because he couldn't see a happy ending out of anything.

"Can't you do anything to stop it?" she pleaded. "There has to be some way—"

"—except there isn't," he croaked back. "Lacia's spell can't be reversed by someone like me. Even if there was a way, her abilities have destroyed most of my soul. There's no way to recover someone if that's been wiped."

Yan stiffened at his words, and he could hear his brother squatting next to her and mumbling something with a low voice. He wasn't quite sure if it was Avis' voice or his hearing that caused him to interpret his words as incomprehensible strings.

"Your soul is still there," the girl tried. "I can still see you. It's fine. It'll—It'll be fine."

He didn't know who Yan was trying to convince with her words.

"It's getting harder to see me, isn't it?" he murmured, the mere effort causing him to droop further in exhaustion. "It's something like being there one moment and not being there the next."

There was a pause as he tensed up, feeling his fingers trace an intangible blackness instead of the world he was used to, and as he bent forward to heave, nothing came out of his mouth. He came back to his senses with an abrupt jolt and a sinking feeling that another piece of himself had been stolen.

"That doesn't mean you're gone," Yan bit back. "Why are you being so stubborn? I thought that Avis was supposed to be the asshole, not you."

His twin glanced up for a moment, registering that the fleeting comment wasn't meant to hurt, and his eyes flickered to the floor again.

Aiden observed the situation with whatever little energy he had left. He could tell that something had happened with Avis—and he was concerned like he usually was, but he was a ghost; barely a ghost, even, and his brother couldn't see him.

"I'm not—" he paused for a second to cough. "I'm not being stubborn. I'm just saying that we can't fix this."

Yan pressed her lips together and shot a weary glance at him. She was tired; they all were, but he couldn't find it in himself to ignore the spark of desperation in her eyes.

Lillian was the one to break the tension between them, swaying on her feet and shooting Avis a sideways glance.

"We should go," she called. There was another layer of emotion hidden under her impassiveness, and that wasn't unusual, but he was too tired to try and figure out what it was. "I don't think us being here will help any longer."

Her partner looked up with a defeated expression, deciding to fight a losing battle for a few seconds before standing up to leave.

"Avis," Yan muttered, and that caused the teenager to turn back for a moment. "Thank you."

"For what...?" he mumbled, glancing at her with a spot of his usual dark humour. "I didn't do that much, but whatever."

He looked down at the corner he was shivering in one last time—and this time, Avis' blue eyes managed to meet his own. His brother had changed; anyone could tell that, but it was then that he noticed how his eyes lacked most of his former bite.

"I'm sorry," he muttered. It was as if someone had taken him like he was a Pyroar and removed most of his teeth. "I...just get better."

Get better? He wanted to laugh at Avis for that, because there was no better as far as he could see, but his brother had already excused himself and disappeared through the door.

"He's right, you know." Yan's voice was quiet, and she seemed far too old for sixteen when she stared at him with her one grey eye. "It's not just him. Lillian cared about you too. I care about you. All of us want you to get better."

"Who's the stubborn one now?" He forced a laugh as he spoke. "You should just give up. Hell, I know I have."

A frustrated noise escaped the girl's throat as she tried to grip his shoulders with her shaking hands, but they passed right through him and she ended up slamming her palms into the wall behind him.

"You aren't like this," she breathed, and that whisper of hers would have been far more intimidating than any shout or scream she might have had chosen to do. "You aren't like this. Something's wrong with you. The Aiden I know would never—"

He was getting tired of cutting her off. "I'm sorry. I really am."

"Sorry isn't going to change the fact that you're going to disappear!" she exclaimed. "Why are you so bent on letting this happen to you?"

"Because I'm tired of this!" he snapped back, and he'd never thought that he'd ever use such a tone. Yan recoiled back, stumbling backwards with a surprised expression on her face—he supposed that Lacia was right. He did resemble Avis when he was upset.

The both of them kept quiet for a while before Yan let him continue.

"It's just that I never liked this world much, you know?" His voice was soft; he'd spooked the girl earlier, and he didn't want it to happen again. "Sure, some people were alright, but I never had time to do anything I wanted to when I was alive."

"You didn't seem that way." His friend was confused. "I mean, you were always so happy about everything, so I thought..."

He bit his lip, wishing that the blood drawn would be enough to distract him, but there wasn't even an ounce of pain no matter how hard he tried. "I wouldn't have been very useful to anyone if I appeared sad."

"But why is that so important to you?" she muttered. "Why should you even care about what anyone thinks?"

Yan wouldn't understand. The girl was emotional, dangerously so, and she never gave up on sharing her feelings with others. She'd been pushed away many times—every time she'd tell someone about the ghosts she'd seen, they'd ignore her—but she'd kept on trying.

He hadn't bothered to try in the first place.

"I don't know what else I would do," he sighed. "For some reason, I can't find it in myself to refuse anyone's request. I guess what everyone else wanted took over my life at some point."

"What about yourself?" Yan prodded. "What about what you wanted?"

Aiden suspected that she knew the answer, but his dry lips still moved to form an answer. "I never knew what I wanted," he admitted. "I didn't think much about those sort of things. People didn't really give me the chance to."

He knew from the silence that she was waiting for him to speak more, to give more of a concrete explanation, and it tired him out almost as much as Lacia's spell did.

"I have to do what they want me to do," he breathed out. "It's important to me. I don't really know how to explain it, but I think that I would be, well, sort of lost if I didn't do those things. Without anyone to force me into things, I wouldn't know what to do."

It was true. He knew nothing but how to be a puppet, how to hand the strings over to whoever needed him—and for a long time, he'd treasured that. Treasured the sort of relationships that had caused him nothing but unhappiness.

But now he'd given others too many strings; he'd tangled himself in them without knowing and he was paying the price for that. It wasn't even anyone else's fault—no one had asked him to agree to anything or to try so hard to please everyone.

He was that sort of person, though. The sort who fed off other's opinions of him.

It was truly disgusting.

"Do you want to disappear because you don't want to see the consequences of your mistake?" Yan's voice wasn't even condescending, but it still made him flinch. "Because you're tired of having to do the right thing?"

Aiden dipped his head. "It's a bit of that."

§

"You may not have known it, but I used to make fun of Avis a lot," the girl uttered. "I would come up with something new every April Fools. Talking about that, did you know that I put ice cream in his shoes once? He's a lot more like you when he's flustered."

The boy blinked once before trying to glance at his friend. "Yan."

She narrowed her eyes and glanced at where he was still sitting. "What is it?"

"I know what you're doing," he muttered. The way her monotone voice glossed over lighthearted details from years ago sounded far too unnatural. "And before you ask, you're trying to distract me until the end of the day, aren't you?"

Yan let out a small sigh as she clenched her fists. "I just thought it would help."

"It's fine," he muttered. "Just...it's already night. Everything will be over in an hour or so."

His gaze drifted to the empty herb shop. The girl had left it closed, and he didn't blame her for it—but he could see how the light filtering through the window had stemmed.

"Why are you still talking like there's no definite way?" Yan hissed, trying once more to clutch onto his clothes but failing. His frame disappeared into the air for another second. "Why are you talking like it's all over when it's not?"

"I want it to be as painless as possible," he admitted. "Look, I'm sorry that I'm leaving you behind, but I'll do my best to persuade Arceus to erase me from others' memories."

He thought that it would make her happier; relieve a little of the pain by letting her know that she wouldn't even remember the whole ordeal, but he was surprised when she lunged at him in the same way she'd lunged at Fabio the other day.

He shouldn't have reacted. She wouldn't have hurt him, after all.

Yet, he found himself letting out a slight gasp, forcing himself down so that the girl could keep her tense position above him. He'd seen the girl angry before, but the fury in her visible eye was different from before.

It was softer. Tipped with a sort of lingering sadness.

"What are you even saying?" she choked out, curling her hands into fists once again and bringing it down through his shoulder. "It's not going to help at all!"

He bit his lip, shifting a little so that fresh air came easier to his lungs. "But you won't even remember me, so why should you even care?"

"Isn't it obvious? If you're Avis' brother, shouldn't you be good at reading people?" Ah, he noticed, she's crying. "It's not about remembering you—it's the fact that I'm not going to have anyone else in my life anymore!"

"That's..." Aiden trailed off, trying a way to phrase his response. "That's not true—If I disappear, they won't kill Avis, and you'll have him with you again."

She let out a frustrated sound. "Face it, Aiden. Avis is my friend, but he's changed. You're the only one who's really dealt with me all this time—you've believed in my ability, and you stuck with me after I tried to kill Fabio."

"Weren't you happy before all this happened?" He didn't know why he was raising his voice to counter Yan's growing pitch, but he was and he didn't care. "You had a job and a best friend, didn't you? Wasn't everything alright before I came into the picture?"

"That doesn't even matter now," she whispered. "Even if you were never there, the damage can't be reversed. My mind isn't going to become less screwed up all of a sudden. Your parents might be nicer to Avis, but his mind seems pretty messed up too and that isn't going to change. Are you going to leave with all that in mind?"

He gulped down a ball of saliva that had been stuck in his throat. "I can't help it."

At the corner of his eye, he could see his legs starting to fade. There wasn't any feeling in them anymore.

"You know," Yan continued, "I thought that you were one of those hero-of-justice types, but you're here and ready to give up on life. Even worse, you think it's for the better? You still have so many more people whom you need to be around—you still have a whole life that you haven't lived—"

It was then that she snapped. She'd been like a taut string the whole time, ready to break from the tension of the whole situation—and the tears started falling even faster as she made useless attempts to hold back her sobs.

"You're going to leave me alone!" she gasped out. "Arceus isn't going to change the flow of events for just a few people. Avis is going to wonder why no one had bothered with him. I'm going to wonder what happened that made me this way."

His arms were starting to lose whatever little feeling they had, but he couldn't bring himself to tell that to Yan.

Something told him that she'd already noticed it.

"I—" The words took a few seconds to go to his heavy brain, and he struggled to comprehend the room in front of him for a moment. "I really wanted to spend a bit more time alive—"

"Then do it," she mumbled back. "Resist whatever Lacia cast on you. At least try to fight against it."

He blinked, his vision going hazy for a moment, and his mouth felt like it was full of gasoline. "It's—too late—"

"If you believed what I said, you'll do it." The challenge was lost in her rough, teary tone. "If you're the hero-of-justice person that I thought you was, then you'll do it. If—If you meant what you said about wanting to spend more time—you'll do it."

Before he could register what was happening, he'd been pulled into a rough hug.

He didn't know how it was working. It wasn't, in so many ways—Yan's arms were wrapped around him, but they were gingerly held in place, trying their best not to sink into his disappearing torso, and her head drooped right through his shoulder, but—

It was warm.

That was all he could feel.

Arceus, it was like a warm blanket was being draped over him but so much better, and the sheer gentleness of the embrace made up for all the things they were messing up tenfold.

"You're hugging me..." he mouthed, feeling tears well up in his eyes. "It's like what happened—when you tried to kill Fabio..."

"I care about you." Her eyes were still red-rimmed and overflowing with salty tears. "So don't take it lightly."

They stayed that way for the last few minutes of the night.

§

"And I thought I told you that I didn't want to see you again."

He was floating in a black space with all his limbs intact.

Lacia was opposite him, staring into his soul as if she was still trying to unearth secrets that she'd already discovered long ago, but it didn't bother him as much as it used to.

"Am I..." He would have said dead, but he managed to catch himself in time. "Am I disappearing?"

"Well, it seems that Arceus managed to notice you in time," she sighed. "It's still your choice. I have to warn you, though—no matter what decision you make, you'll still be killed prematurely by him. He may need you for a while, but your so-called Lord treats people like pawns."

There was silence for a while. He revelled in it; he felt he deserved it after all he'd been through, after all.

"So, Aiden, what's your choice?" Her voice was defeated. "Are you going to rest now or suffer later?"

He closed his eyes and chose before she could sway him any further.

§

yODELS BECAUSE DANG I'M DONE

this is the longest chapter so far in the book and it's one of the longest chapters i've ever written? like 3.3k words wAw 

and it still seems rushed to me sMH @ myself

Thank you guys so much for 5.8K reads and 862 votes!! :0 You have no idea how much this means to me <3

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