Epilogue: Enough To Get By

Life hadn't been going very well.

Then again, it hadn't gone well ever since he was a child, but there was a difference in the atmosphere this time. Something felt off; the days went by as empty and hollow as they used to, but it was like there was something else missing.

Something had gone wrong along the way, hadn't it? The nights of screaming as he woke up had faded, replaced by days of aching numbness, and if he was to be honest, he wanted those nights back.

He wasn't upset when Yan had told him what happened. He just nodded quietly and told her that she could leave; and as she exited the inn, he muttered a sorry for what happened and closed the door before she could even register what was happening.

It hurt a little to have been left out of the whole loop, but he understood. None of them had quite understood what was going on—he'd just missed the most information.

Ironic, isn't it? he thought to himself, but the amused smile never came. I'm supposed to be great at getting information.

Would he ever get information for anyone again, though?

Fabio hadn't gone on a job in a long time. The knife lay on the table of a room that didn't belong to him, blood-stained and scratched in all its glory, but it had been untouched for a while.

When did he become this pathetic?

"Oi, asshole. If I'm going to let you leech off my house and food, then the least you could do is stop moping around."

He had no idea why he was staying with Leone. The both of them were tentative around each other, to say the least—and oh Arceus it was pretty stupid to stay with someone who'd almost tortured him to death.

The guy seemed to be trying to make something up to him, though; he was out on jobs most of the time, but he came back most nights and brought back dinner with him. It was sort of funny—he'd used to do the same thing for the boy when they were younger.

"Why are you doing this?" he asked one night, and his plate was untouched. "Seems a little strange for the person who tried to kill me, don't you think?"

Drip. He could still hear the sounds of the liquid dripping against his face and against the ground. It haunted him everywhere they went; after all, they'd been all he had heard for a few days straight.

Leone shoved a spoonful of rice in his mouth, and he refused to speak.

"My idiot sister made me realise something," he finally said, and his golden eyes held something other than irritation. "That's all you need to know."

They sat in silence for a few seconds, and he tried to focus on the plate in front of him. The taste of curry burned at his mouth, and he welcomed the momentary distraction.

"She's been trying to get me to give up my job for a while now," he sighed, but his words were razor-sharp. "I think she wants me to work for that shitty military setup. It pays well, but there's less freedom than I'd like."

"Work part-time, then," he suggested, and his mind was already at work—he was making all sorts of calculations in his head before he knew it. "That way, you can kill as many people as you want and you can get a decent pay."

Leone stabbed his spoon into his rice again. "It sucks to admit it, but you're right."

"I'm always right," he huffed back, but the argument pleased him a little.

He was still wary of Leone—after that incident, he would always be—but he could live a little better if the boy wasn't trying to be someone he wasn't.

Fabio, I am not your only friend.

Leone wasn't a friend, but he wasn't an enemy as of now, and he supposed that it was a start.

§

The house was quieter than usual.

In the past, he would have made small talk with his mother when he reached home, but he couldn't call the empty place home any longer.

A few days after Avis' death, his parents were back to normal. They'd told him not to worry too much about the whole situation—his father had told him that there was nothing that could have been done—and the both of them resumed their lives.

—how was he supposed to be fine when the empty bed next to his was still there?

His parents had never bothered to move it out. Part of him wished they had, but that would be like admitting that he was gone—or that he had never existed in the first place—and he didn't know which one was worse.

The first month was the worst. He'd spend days in the wrong bed, lying there awake through the whole night, and he'd replay the scenario over and over again, trying to find a way that things could have gone right.

No matter what, it was still his fault, wasn't it?

Aiden couldn't dwell on it for much longer. He had things to do, after all, and as much as it surprised him, a life to live.

He caught a glimpse of the sword as he stood up. It was mostly hidden now, tucked under his bed and left to rot, but the bloodstains that he hadn't been able to quite get off made his heart jump as he grabbed the one Pokeball he had left.

For some unexplainable reason, he still used a sword. The knights would invite him for friendly spars sometimes—and though he declined most of the time, there were instances where he'd grab his spare sword and head to his old training ground for a match or two.

After the war, the need for knights had dwindled. He was relieved that no one had tried to pressure him into taking up the job again.

He considered telling his mother that he wouldn't be back for dinner, but ever since the whole incident, they'd drifted apart. He didn't think it was very necessary to inform someone he'd gotten a mild dislike for about his plans.

After all, her son had lost a bit of his fame and worthiness. He wasn't quite the trophy that he was before.

Aiden liked it that way, but he hated it at the same time.

If it meant that Avis could come back, he'd give back all of his newfound freedom.

§

She still missed him, but she was getting better.

Yan didn't know when her superstitious habits had come back. She used to have them as a child—seeing ghosts meant that she believed in a lot more things—but she'd gotten disheartened after everything that happened.

Now, however, there were talismans pasted all over the walls of her room. She'd even managed to sneak a couple of them behind the counter, and if her father hated her before, he was more exasperated than anything now.

Every time she ate noodles, they were always uncut—it increased longevity, according to an old Hoenn tale—and she would always pray for the rest of them to have a long and peaceful life.

Especially Aiden, she thought, because she couldn't stand the thought of losing him too.

He'd talked to her a bit after Avis' death had passed, because it had been pretty obvious that hiding any more secrets wouldn't benefit them in any way.

It made her sick that there was a timer strapped to his life. That the only reason he was alive was because of some sort of grace period to keep Zygarde happy. Arceus would get rid of him as soon as the creature wasn't at risk of starting another war again—

—and she was scared. She'd already lost enough; she didn't need to lose more.

A thought went through the back of her mind like a lazy current. What if she lost it again? Her mind hadn't been the same after the incident with their past lives, and she didn't know if she was going to snap and try to kill someone again.

She'd become a horrible person.

Her mind sneered that she had always been the tiniest bit horrible.

Yan would have continued to spiral into her train of self-deprecating thoughts, but then the door to her shop opened and her first thought was that someone was trying to steal her medicine.

That thought vanished as she recognised the purple-haired boy that walked in, however, and it was all she could do to hold back a sigh of relief. She really had become more paranoid after everything had passed, hadn't she?

"Sorry I'm late," Aiden smiled. "I was busy."

"It's one in the afternoon," she deadpanned back, but the unsaid remark jeered at least it's not the reason why Avis didn't come to work in her head. "You're lying."

He rubbed the back of his head with a sheepish grin and put down the messenger bag he was carrying. "You got me. I just forgot about the time, so it was late when I remembered that I was actually working here."

She could tell that he was still tired. Even with her hair covering the bandage that—still—wrapped around her dysfunctional eye, it was still apparent that he was still affected, but he was still trying his best to carry on for his brother.

He didn't need to hide it. Hadn't he promised to start living for himself?

"By the way, do you want to go get dinner after my shift?" Aiden had already started unpacking the boxes, and it made her cheeks burn, because she ran the shop and she was being less productive than her employee. "I have night classes today, so I won't have time to go home."

Yan smiled at that. It was a ghost of a smile, and it wobbled dangerously in the boy's prescence, but it was still a smile.

"Sure."

Aiden, it's fine. Take care of yourself more.

Yan, learn to believe in others besides the two of us.

They weren't sure if they could do it with a timer on one of them, but they would keep trying.

§

"It's a nice day, isn't it?"

The black-haired girl raised an eyebrow at her father as she took a sip of her drink, leaning back in her chair and soaking in the Hoenn warmth for a moment. "It's not scorching as usual, so yes, I suppose that it would be considered one."

She missed Kalos, but she'd had to sort out things at home after her goal had been met.

"By the way, Leone's agreed to start working part-time in the military." The man's voice was smooth, and the situation was far too calm for a sociopathic man who used to be a general and his daughter. She found it hilarious.

"Really?" A small smile played on her lips. "His view of it changed as soon as you stepped down, huh?"

A sigh escaped Damien Albus' lips. "I should have known," he mumbled. "But you're working there too, so I know that he'll be fine."

"Just so you know, I'm planning on making it big," she scoffed, pausing for a moment to order a refill. "I'll take your place for sure. I'm too young now, but I'm betting that it'll take less than two years for me to be promoted."

"I'm betting on three years," her father argued back. "Don't forget changing the views of all the older soldiers who knew that you left them and betrayed us."

She snorted. "Who cares? I'm making it up now, aren't I?"

"Right." He didn't sound all too convinced, but he let the matter slide and that was all that mattered. "Well, I wouldn't be surprised if you tried to start a Kalos branch there. You're making a trip there tomorrow or something, aren't you?"

"Tonight," she confirmed. "And my plans never fail, Father. Watch me."

"Yeah, and the whole incident with Hoenn never happened," he shot back. "What did I tell you? You shouldn't put too much trust in what you do."

She'd confided in her father after the whole incident. He may have been a massive asshole, but he was a trustworthy person and someone who had no business in spreading information—and the best thing was that he didn't pity her.

"It was a joke." She had to remember that she didn't have the best humour at times. "But I'm still serious, though. I'm going to convince the hell out of my superiors to make it happen."

Damien sighed. "Whatever you say."

There was a moment of silence before she started speaking again.

"I need to go now," Lillian sighed. "I have to board the ship at eight, and I haven't started packing yet. What fun."

"You still haven't grown up, have you?" Her father glanced out at the sky—it was still afternoon, but the heat had started to subside and it didn't feel like she was being attacked by a heat wave. "I'd tell you to say hello to my son for me, but he'll just ignore it."

She laughed at that. "That's true. I'll do it, though. You know I like seeing him riled up."

The man was careful with his next words. "Do you miss him?"

Lillian let out a deep breath. "I miss all of them."

Take care of them, Lillian, but don't force yourself too much.

I'm sorry.

Were they doing alright?

§

Somehow, the name on the gravestone had changed.

Everyone knew that it had been Lillian. She was the only one with the means and money to, after all—but she never admitted it, and no one asked her. As long as there was some sort of mutual agreement between them, they would be fine.

No one saw each other much anymore. It was just Yan and Aiden now; the last time Fabio and Aiden had spoken, he had announced that he was moving to Hoenn with Leone, and that was a year ago.

It was an unspoken rule that they would always meet at the cemetery.

Aiden would always bring the letter with him. They'd agreed to let him keep it—his brother had died; he deserved it—and no one would speak for a long time.

They didn't cry. They used to—Yan broke down again the first time they went back—but now they would just stare at the stone in complete silence before soft, sad murmurs broke out between the five of them and they tried to catch up on what the others had been doing.

Everything was changing. Fabio hadn't killed anyone in a long time, and he confessed to wanting to return to his old job soon; Lillian was in the very military where her sociopathic father once worked, and while it seemed that the other two hadn't changed one bit, the subtle differences were still there.

It was mostly Yan and Aiden that visited. They went there often, with the latter murmuring words of regret for the both of them until the sun went down, and she would wait for him.

Fabio used to come with them, but he was in Hoenn now, and everything was complicated.

Lillian came the least. She was busy with her job, after all, and there was often no way she could spare time to travel all the way to such a far-out region. She would stay for the longest time, however, and no one stopped her.

They were grateful, after all. They were grateful that the black-haired girl still remembered about everything that had happened; that she cared enough to stop by.

The weather was always painfully nice when they were there, and they didn't know if it was a good thing or not. It hardly rained; the first time it did, Yan had made a bitter joke about how the weather was crying for them, and it had stopped two minutes after she had spoken.

It was as if Arceus was taking pity on them. The air was always sweet to the point of tears; the sky was always in the middle of a brilliant blue and a hazy grey—

They didn't know when everything had come to an end.

They didn't know when they'd grown up and bid each other their silent goodbyes, but at some point they had and they had never intended to in the first place.

Deep down, they'd accepted that.

After all, they'd realised that it was bound to happen. They'd realised a lot of things in the past few years without Avis.

"It's like losing a supporting character from a play," Lillian had mused once. "They fade into the background, and no one really notices what they'd contributed to the group until they're gone."

"Shut up with your philosophical bullshit," Fabio had snapped back in response.

They weren't quite alright yet. None of them were, but they were improving and that was all he would have wanted.

"It's going to be fine."

As long as they believed that, they were on the right track.

§

Most of you would know that I didn't want to die in the end.

I think I said this a lot, but I'm sorry. I'm sorry for being such a massive asshole to everyone and dying before I could make it up to you guys.

Even now, I can't believe that my life is going to end. I think I was in denial for the better part of the month.

I don't really know what to say.

I mean, to be frank, I hated my life. I was glad when Yveltal and Xerneas told me that I was going to die.

But now, looking back at this one month...

There was so much about it that I hated. Yet, there was so much that I loved.

For the first time, I was able to really live, and I wanted to experience more of that.

I guess I shouldn't talk about that now, right?

Well, besides that, I think I'm done.

Thank you for everything. Really.

Goodbye.

§

For now, it was enough to get by.

§

the song in the media is summertime record by jin! english cover by jubyphonic on youtube

woahhh im not even fully awake yet so i can't even type a coherent AN

i'll be saying more in the A/N next chapter, but i really do hope you enjoyed this story and i hope that this was a good enough ending!

tbh lillian was my favourite character when i was planning this book but then it became aiden and now it's avis?? either way i hope it was decent enough oHo

unfortunately, i probably won't be releasing the sequel! this was supposed to be a trilogy at first (pathos, logos, ethos (ethos was a prequel)) but yeah, i don't think i'm going to write them anymore xD

welp, at least i'll be able to edit the horrendous first half now ~ and i'll be focusing more on my other book GLIDE after this, so if you want to read more of my works, i suggest checking that out!

yea that's all i have to say. thank you all, really!!