I have acquired the child.

Everyone, I want you to meet Jackson William Fischbach because you will be hearing of him A LOT from today until Monday!

Here's a picture of his baby daddy because there's no way in hell that I asexually reproduced that thing:

^^ That's Jackson's baby daddy.

Okay so here's a picture of Jackson with his birth certificate. Yes, my Child Development teacher went as far as to create a birth certificate.

I crossed out my last name and my teacher's name by the way. I put her as "Delivered By" haha.

Anyway, you can't read my shitty handwriting so here's what it says:

Baby Name: Jackson William Fischbach
Day: 8 Month: 4 Year: 2016
Parent Name: Brianna (My last name)
(Underneath it reads "Baby Daddy: Mark Fischbach (Markiplier))
Weight: 7 lbs. 8 oz.
Length: 21 in. (Funny story: My friend was reading it and she said, "Damn little guy!" and it took me for a moment to realize that because he's a boy and I knew exactly what she was talking about. Then I died laughing and replied, "Just like his baby daddy.")
Delivered by: (My teacher's name)

Also, my teacher has requested that I take pictures and keep a journal so y'all will get to hear and see that as well. I can promise you that you will hate me by Monday and will be telling me to shut the fuck up about Jackson. If you don't, I applaud you.

I'm starting out with the whole picture thing so here you go I guess:

Also, my parents were joking about the whole thing so I made up a whole story about how Jackson came to be. Brace yourselves. Note: THIS IS FAKER THAN THOSE WHITE GIRLS AT STARBUCKS' FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS!

The story: I was at a wicked party and I met Markiplier. We were drunk af and I guess we somehow ended up in the bedroom. I found out I was pregnant about two weeks or so later and he flipped out. He was gone a week after that and his broke ass won't answer me and refuses to take care of the baby. So, on April 8th, I had his child and I'm going to be the best damn single mother ever God fucking damn it.

So yeah. Jackson isn't turning on until 5 PM EST and isn't turning off until 6 AM EST. It is currently 3:43 PM EST so I have about two hours until he turns on.

Let me tell you, taking that thing on the bus was quite interesting. Everyone was worried that he would start crying and my bus driver was so relieved when I told her that he doesn't turn on until five. She said that she already had to deal with a kindergartner that cried on the bust every day.

So let's just see how this weekend goes, shall we? Also, I'm taking him out to pick up my sister from the bus to see what happens.

I am getting way too into this oh Lord no.

||Sky||