"Tch. Back then, it was. All I wanted and cared about was to let out this relentless anger."

"That's still NO reason to beat the living shit out of your best friend which you also once considered as a brother. What happened after that 'heroic' act of yours?"

"Tch, I don't like the tone in your voice, Missy. I might be your cousin, but you're still younger than I. So drop that attitude if you want to know."

"Don't you dare to act like the big, caring bro now towards me, because you're ANYTHING but that, judging from what

I have heard so far. You deserve every single ounce of sarcasm and attitude I have in store! Now YOU drop your attitude and get on with it! What happened then? "

Mikasa was relentless and wasn't going to accept any excuse or prevarications from her cousin.

"Geez, you are such a pain in the ass, you know that? Someone heard our fight it seems and called the police and ambulance. I ran off before they could notice me."

"So you're really trying to tell me you left your WOUNDED and BEATEN friend behind without checking if he was fine? Or if he was even alive?! Wow...I never thought that you could pull off a bigger asshole-move than Erwin did."

"Shut the fuck up, will you?! I know that myself! And I already said I regret it. What else do you want to hear from me? That I'm a worthless coward and a hopeless wimp?"

"That would at least be a start, but we're digressing. Am I right when I say that you went back to Nina's place after that?"

"Yeah, you are. When I arrived at Nina's apartment again, I already began to doubt. When I saw her again, the inevitable misfortune took its course: I asked her whether it was true or not. If everything was she had told me before and everything Erwin told me was the truth, and she agreed. Can you even imagine, Mikasa, what I was going through at that moment? My best friend and my girlfriend confessed that they loved and kissed each other. For me, my whole world broke apart, and all I still felt was a deep, endless void. "

Levi paused, taking deep, slow breaths while rubbing the bridge of his nose. It almost seemed like he was fighting back tears.

"And yet Nina continued to insist that she loved me from the bottom of her heart, that she didn't know what was going on with her and how this could be possible, but almost every sentence ended with her loving me. I gave her a choice, either me or Erwin ..... and she hesitated. And then I knew everything I need to know, and I left her. The last words I said to her was that I thanked her for a great time and that I'll always remember it well. The last thing I heard was her heart-breaking cries of pain when I left her with a farewell."

"Levi ... that was cruel of you."

"I know. I did the most horrible thing to her, although I knew about her emotional and vulnerable heart. It's unforgivable."

Mikasa didn't respond this time. There was no need to. Levi knew himself that he fucked up badly and that the way he left her was the worst he could do. Mikasa despised him for doing this to her best friend, and now that she heard everything she needs to know, it wouldn't even surprise her if Levi was the reason why Nina's in the hospital.

A broken heart can rob someone of their will to live, in the worst cases, and with everything she'd heard, it fits all together.

Part of Mikasa wanted to just grab Levi by his collar and drag him towards the hospital, so they can make up and Nina can get better, hopefully, but the other part, the sane part, told her that Levi had done enough damage to her. The idea she had before all this suddenly seemed to have drifted away into oblivion.

Damn.... she truly believed she could fix this mess somehow and make Levi and Erwin cooperate.

Plus: Levi still seems to be very hurt as well. No surprise, though. Nina and Levi parted ways in the worst way possible and have both suffered deep wounds, invisible for the human eye, and these wounds were still fresh and bleeding, and whether Mikasa nor Erwin can tell how long it might take for these wounds to heal.

Perhaps it would be better when Levi doesn't know where Nina is right now...

"And? No more questions from you? Done with interrogating? No more insults? No more scolding? Or is there anything left you want to know or you want to throw into my face before I leave this house and this god-forsaken town behind?"

Levi was still determined to leave this place. Mikasa wasn't even sure anymore if she can convince him to stay and overthink things.

"No. I'm done. With everything. Once your clothes are done and clean, you're free to leave."

With that, their conversation ended. Mikasa stood up from her seat with a frown, sighing as she made her way towards the room to check on Levi's clothes, while the male stayed seated on his spot, silently sipping his tea and his expression dead and emotionless.

If Mikasa wasn't absolutely sure that Levi was still sitting in the living room, she would think she was alone. No sound or noise came from him. It was dead silent. He hadn't even turned on the television. After checking his clothes, she went back to keep an eye on him.

"Your things need another half an hour."

"Fine."

She didn't even recognize her cousin. He was silent and aloof before, but now it seemed as if he was dead inside. That's exactly how Levi felt. His teacup had long been empty, and yet he was clutching the edge of it with his fingertips while he stared into oblivion, just waiting to leave this place with his clean clothes.

Without a word, Mikasa went into the adjacent, open kitchen to start preparing dinner, but before she could even reach for a knife, her cell phone vibrated with an incoming call. Her eyes widened as she read the hospital number on the display. This could mean two things: Either it is bad news that Nina's condition has worsened, or it is a request to pick up or bring something.

Hopefully the latter.

"Hello?" Mikasa was more than surprised to hear that Erwin spoke to her from the other end.

"Has something happened or why are you calling me on that phone? ..... I told you to charge your cell phone. Yes, yes, it's okay. I wanted to go back to her home anyway and pick up a few things. I already have some of Nina's clothes here to wash. I'll bring them next time. ..... No, I'll tell you everything afterward. See you later."

"Who was that? Why do you have Nina's clothes here to wash? Is she here with you and stays for a while, or why? "

Mikasa had barely finished the call when Levi asked what he had just heard. As soon as he heard the name "Nina", he just couldn't help it.

"I don't know why that should be of any concern for you, but since you've already asked, I probably have no other choice: No, she is not here and she is not coming either. In fact, she hasn't been going anywhere in a while. "

"What do you mean by that?! Stop talking in riddles and finally spit out! " The fact that Levi can become so aggressive so quickly was new, even for Mikasa.

"Nina is in the hospital." She finally answered dryly.

"WHAT?! Since when ?! "

"For almost two weeks. A few days after you broke up with her in such a cruel way, she is in the hospital with a high fever and circulatory collapse, so far without any improvement. "

"And it didn't cross your mind to tell me that !? Instead, you let me come here and live through hell on earth again, while Nina is in the hospital the whole time?! So much for you being her "best friend"! "

"Why should I tell you about it, huh ?! You were in hiding for the whole two weeks and NOBODY could reach or find you! Also: You broke up, remember ?! After everything you've told me here, I had a strong impression that you wouldn't want to know."

With a loud growl, Levi spun around and went for the next window in sight, simply yanking it open and shoving all kinds of plants or decorations from the window sill. Once the window was wide open, Levi put one hand on the frame and jumped out, remembering that Mikasa had locked the door.

He was running completely on autopilot, the information that Ninas was in the hospital made something "click" inside his head. All his system now cares about was to get there and be with her!

Just good that Mikasa was living in a house at ground level. Without knowing which hospital he has to look for, Levi dashed off in the first direction that his mind came up with.

"LEVI! WAIT!", yelled Mikasa from behind, but Levi was deaf to it.

Levi. P.O.V.

I didn't want to wait!

When I heard that Nina was in the hospital and that I may be the one to blame for it, I only knew one goal: I had to go to her!

Relationship or not, I can't leave her like this. I still love her after all! Even if the sight of her weakened self in a hospital bed will probably only tear my heart apart, I just couldn't help myself.

So I jumped out of the window and ran. Although I had no idea in which of the three hospitals this city has to offer my Nina has been brought to. If necessary I would check ALL of them, one after another before I would get to the right one. Come what may!

As if looking through a tunnel, I saw the street in front of me, and I ran purposefully along the street in the direction of the first hospital that came to my mind. It was south of here, I knew that for sure! That was my destination.

After a while, while running as fast as I could, I heard a car honk behind me. Over and over again, louder and louder, until the annoying and penetrating sound finally startled me, a big, black SUV blocking my way.

"Damn shit! Keep driving you asshole! I'm in a hurry!"

The window opened and Mikasa was sitting behind the stirring-wheel, looking at me with a grim expression.

"Shut up and get your ass in here! I'll drive you there. "

Before I could answer verbally, my legs had already carried me around the car and I was sitting inside. With the engine growling, Mikasa depresses the accelerator and she turned the car by 180 degrees.

"What the-!? Where the hell are you taking me ?! "

"I told you to shut up! What do you think where I'm going to take you? You disappeared so quickly that I couldn't tell you which hospital Nina was in and that you were running in the wrong direction, you idiot! "

"Tch. Then let's go! "

And she did exactly that. If it weren't for those stupid traffic lights, I would have been at the hospital much sooner.

Apart from the fact that Mikasa told me in which room I would find her in, neither of us said anything.

There was extreme tension in the air, and not just from me. I wagged my legs more than impatiently, every muscle inside of me was tense and the adrenaline in my blood wanted to let me jump out of the car and continue to run.

I couldn't be with Nina fast enough! I wanted to see her so badly, wanted to believe that my presence would make her feel better and that all this was maybe just a bad dream that I would wake up from at any moment, but deep down I knew that it wasn't, and yet I didn't want to believe it.

The drive to the hospital took ten endless minutes. Ten minutes in which every second seemed like an eternity to me. Ten excruciating minutes that almost made me jump out of Mikasa's still moving car while she pulled into the parking lot.

"I'll wait down here, Levi. Before you go, a word of warning: don't you dare do something stupid or make a scene. As soon as I get a hint of a commotion going on inside and you are involved, I personally make sure that you NEVER see Nina again. Understood?"

What was that supposed to mean ?! Mikasa didn't seem to trust me anymore. As if I let myself be threatened so easily, Tch. Why should I do anything?

I didn't know what to expect myself, but this was a hospital after all.

Even I couldn't run amok here. . . . At least that's what I believed of myself.

"Tch. Whatever. Do not wait for me."

"I do it anyway. Now out with you."

Without another word, I jumped out of the car and ran towards the entrance. I just stopped to ask for Nina's room at the front desk and after memorizing the direction, I ran again.

"HEY! You are in a hospital here! Running is forbidden! " The receptionist called after me. With an annoyed groan, I stopped and walked at a walking pace, albeit with larger and faster steps.

I didn't like hospitals. The white-clad staff, the long, sterile corridors, empty beds, and trolleys with medical supplies were standing around everywhere. And then the smell ...

Even though I appreciated the cleanliness and sterility here, the sight of all these things filled me with disgust. It reminded me too much of the time in the army, when I laid in one of these beds more than once with a gunshot or stabbing wound or when I, as the captain, visited my wounded comrades, or even the dead ones to identify them. Sometimes they were so very disfigured by bullets or grenades that it was impossible to tell from their faces which of my many valued comrades I had in front of me. Only by looking at the dog tag could around their necks we were able to make out which brave soldier it was.

No ... hospitals are a red flag for me, and now there is even another reason why I will avoid these buildings as much as possible.

The fact that Nina was here for nearly two full weeks after we broke up and I left her behind so cruelly made my stomach feel nauseous.

As I marched through the barren corridors, I rolled a thousand thoughts. What will happen as soon as I enter the room? Will she even want to see me? How bad is it with Nina and the most important question: What then?

I spent two weeks distancing myself from all of this and clearing my head to forget all of this and Nina and to banish my feelings to where they belong; deep in the farthest corner of my mind. Feelings only bring you anger, pain, and suffering, as I discovered again, and yet here I am.

I don't know what awaits me beyond the door in front of which I suddenly found myself, and behind which Nina was lying in a hospital bed, but I had no choice but to let it come to me.

Slowly, I put my hand on the door handle, inhaled, and exhaled before I slowly pushed the door open.

Even before I entered the room, I heard the constant beeping of the ECG. The further I pushed the door, the more I saw inside. The room was darkened and radiated little warmth. With small, careful steps I went in and I could already see the end of the bed, where I could guess the curves of her long legs under the covers.

With another deep breath I finally entered the room, but what I saw lying there in front of me took my breath away again.

There she was: my Nina. Her eyes closed as if she was sleeping, but she had changed so much in these two weeks that my breath hitched and I felt my eyes widen in shock.

The skin sickly pale, an intravenous access that was stuck in her arm and through which she was served with medication, deep, dark circles under the eyes, sunken cheeks, and dry, chapped lips. The same lips that I once kissed with so much love and devotion.

I felt like I had been kicked in the stomach and then poured a bucket of ice-cold water over me. I was shocked!

And it's my fault alone ...

What have I done?

With my eyes only on her, I approached the bed with small, reserved steps before my legs hit the edge of the bed. A deep, dark feeling of regret and sadness seized me as I stretched out my hand to her, but then I noticed something ...

Before my hand could caress her cheek, I realized something was wrong. I looked up and on the other side of the bed, I saw someone with their face lying down on the bed, the body seated in a simple chair, a long jacket slung over his shoulders as a tentative blanket while his hand held hers. I would recognize this light blonde hair among thousands.

"Erwin ..." I whispered, surprised, and shocked at the same time.

God damn, I'm so stupid.

Of course, Erwin was here ... how could it be otherwise?

I ran here without wasting a thought that Nina's new lover was now here to be worried about her, but getting the harsh reality smacked in the face felt like a kick into my stomach. I should have known better. Nina doesn't need me. She has Erwin now.

"Tch...I'm so fucking stupid." Running my hand over my face and through my hair, I turned around again to leave.

"Hm? What?"

I froze for a split second, not daring to look or to move.

"Levi? Is...Is that really you?!"

Fuck .... Erwin woke up and saw him. Without answering or even turning around, I marched to the door, tore it open, and left.

"Levi! Wait!" A big, strong hand grabbed my shoulder and forced me to turn around, and with a strong yank, I tore myself away when I finally looked into Erwin's still damaged and beaten-up face.

God damn it, can't this idiot just leave me alone ?!

"Please wait, Levi. Let's talk."

"Tch. What could you want to talk to me about, Eyebrows? Leave me fucking alone and go back to your girlfriend. "

"Please keep your voice down, Levi, or we both might get kicked out of here and then none of us will have a chance to stay by Nina's side."

"You really think I would want to stay? After I've seen you two like that? Do you really think I'm that stupid? Unlike other certain people, I do not interfere in other people's existing relationships. "

"Levi ... I know you are hurt and sad, and I understand that. You have absolutely every right to do so, but please be reasonable and listen to me."

"Do you seriously think that there is anything else you have to say to me? Haven't you said enough already? Just leave me alone at last. I just wanted to see if Nina was okay, and now that I've seen you take good care of her, my duty is done and I can leave this shitty town. I wish you both all the best and good luck. "

Every second longer I spent looking at this blonde bastard filled me with revulsion, regret, and sadness. I just wanted to get away, wanted it to stop and this oppressive feeling to go away.

"You can't be serious, Levi. Why do you wanna leave town? After everything that not only we both got through together, but also after everything you experienced with Nina. Do you really want to turn your back on us? I'll never let that happen, and you know that. And I am sure that after what I have to tell you, you will think about it again. "

"Oh, yes? Well, I'm curious about that. What could be so earth-shaking that it could make me rethink? " The sarcastic undertone was intentional. I was firmly convinced that there was absolutely nothing with which Erwin could make me stay.

"She asked about you."

"Huh? What? Please speak in full sentences. Express yourself more clearly. "

"Nina. She is very weak at the moment, is barely conscious, sleeps a lot from all the medication, but whenever she was awake, most of the time only for ten or thirty minutes, each time and almost the first thing she always asked about was you. Every time she wanted to know where you are, whether you are okay, whether you have contacted me. She didn't even stop thinking about you, Levi. Do you understand now? "

". . . . "

"Levi?"

"You're lying. Why would she ask about me after all? This can't be true. That you would even take on to such cruel jokes to make me stay...that's disgraceful. Especially from you, Erwin."

"It's not a lie, I swear. I was with her every time she awoke and when she asked about you, and Mikasa was there a few times too, so she will tell you the exact same. It's the truth, Levi. Please believe me. Nina still loves you deeply, honestly. Please stay. Please go to her. I'm sure when she wakes up and sees you sitting by her side, her health will improve fast."

"Tch ... do you really think it's that simple? We are not in a storybook where the knight appears in shining armor, saves the princess and Alacazam! Everything is fine and beautiful again. "

"But it COULD be that simple. How do you know if you didn't try first? But other than that, there is something else you should know. "

"Fuck, what is it now?"

"Nina told Mikasa that she vomited a lot. Over and over again. At first, we didn't think anything about it and blamed it on the illness, but I suspected something and asked the nurses to do a ... special test with Nina. "

"Test? What kind of test? "

"A pregnancy test."

Oh ... oh fuck. If I weren't already pale by nature, all the color certainly would have escaped from my face by now. Again, I felt an imaginary kick in my stomach that made me stagger before I had to support myself on the wall.

It's true that we've had unprotected sex the last few times .....

"Is there ... already a result?"

"No, not yet. The doctor said the result would not be available until tomorrow noon. That's why I think you should stay. Not only for Nina and her health but also for your maybe unborn child. "

Wow... I never expected such shocking news in my life. I had already imagined how it might be to start a family with her, to have children with her, but these were not exactly the best circumstances.

But the idea that Nina could carry my child ... while I would have left her and possibly started a new life in another city while she is raising our child as a single mother ...

Suddenly I was disgusted with myself. I always wanted to be a father, wanted to pass on my knowledge and skills to my son or daughter, play games with them, drive them to school in the morning, and prepare lunch packages. It felt so beautiful in my head.

"Okay. I am going to her."

"That's good. She needs you, Levi. Believe it or not. I could never replace you. "

"Yeah, whatever. And you'd better go home. Shower, eat something, and sleep. You look like shit. "

"Yes. I know " Erwin chuckled, running his hand through his hair to stroke his messy blond locks back along his scalp.

"I'm gonna go, then. If there is any change please let me know. "

"Tch. Fine. " Erwin sighed, smiling slightly as she turned around to leave the scene, walking down the long corridor with his hands in his pockets.

"Oi! Erwin! " I called out for him one last time and the tall man stopped in his tracks, turning around to look at me over his shoulder.

"What is it, Levi?"

"Uhm ..... I'm ..... I'm sorry. And .... thank you. "

"........... Hm. It's okay. And you're welcome. " With that, Erwin turned again and left, while I moved back to the door that would lead me to Nina's room.