Remember not made my me never will be :( but still an amazing book ! Links on the first published page for the fanfiction.net and tumblr page for the real author

LUCY HEARTFILIA

People are always telling me that me and Natsu Dragoneel are a match made in heaven

Please excuse me while I laugh.

HA!

Like that would ever happen.

Let me give you a short anecdote to prove my point, okay? This was our first meeting:

We were both three years old and it was the first time we had ever met at a family dinner. His father was an extremely important business partner of my fathers and the kids were constantly thrown together at such these shindigs. However during this one Natsu seemed hell-bent on figuring out the wonders of blonde hair (oooh, aaah), and kept on tugging on my pigtail as if that would somehow enlighten him.

Here's the general gist of what happened: he pulled my hair. I pulled his hair. He screamed. I screamed louder. He slapped me. I slapped him. He burst into loud tears. I burst into loud tears.

Oh, yes. There's a first meeting that every girl dreams of! That just proves that we were meant to be!

Not.

The truth: We hate each other. Lucy Heartfilia hates Natsu Dragoneel. Natsu Dragoneel hates Lucy Heartfilia. That's how it's always been, ever since we were three. And it's going to stay that way. No matterwhat people say.

They're all idiots, anyway. I mean, you'd have to have some pretty severe mental damage done to your brain if you somehow believe that we're going to grow up and get married someday. If that ever happens, it means either:

a) The world is ending.

b) It's not us

c) Natsu Dragoneel was the last man on earth, and in the choice between him and his cat (who hates me as well), I'd (grudgingly) chose him. And that's only because I'm ridiculously allergic and can only take so much wheezy, eye watering, torture. Otherwise it definitely would have been Happy (the fucking cat).

Or d) You're dreaming.

Yes, really. That's how much I hate him. With a strong, fiery, burning passion.

It's just...he's too perfect. Like, he has his flaws, of course (I could spend days listing them), but everyone loves Natsu Dragoneel. End of discussion. Everyone loves him. He's like, Fairy High's Playboy and Fairy Tail's Golden Boy all rolled up in one, pink-haired person. He's immensely popular. I guess when your friends with the right people (my friends), your dad was crazy rich and left you everything, and you are the heir to the largest firework business in the fucking world, people start to think that you're reallyinteresting. Girls love him. Teachers love him. Hell, even some guys love him.

All except for me.

I see right through that perfect-ness. Right through that perfectly messy pink hair and those smoldering emerald green eyes. Right through that extremely attractive face, and body...what? I'm a girl. I've got hormones. I notice things.

I'm not even going to lie: there is only one person who can pull off pink hair and still look extremely attractive. That person is Natsu Dragoneel.

Don't tell anyone I said that.

"OI! HEARTFILIA, DRAGONEEL! LET'S GO!"

And those would be the lovely dulcet tones of our hockey coach Gray Fullbuster, who really needs to understand that a girl, when on her period, is simply incapable of running ten laps around the track without getting killer cramps.

Which is the reason that I'm curled up on the ground right now, clutching my middle and moaning, Dragoneel standing over me unsurely. I mean, there's not much he can do with that fat head of his, so he's making himself useful by standing there.

Notice the sarcasm.

"Argh." I moaned. "I can't do it. Cramps. Craaaaaaaamps."

"She's got cramps." I heard Dragoneel explain to Gray, who was stomping over to us, fuming.

"Well, tell her to suck it up! Be a man!" He cried, also standing over me.

"That's the thing. I'm not. Which explains why I have these horrid cramps in the first place." I glared up at him.

His eyes widened in realization. "Oh." He said. "Oh."

"Yeah, oh." I nodded, smirking. God, I love making boys feel awkward by mentioning my period. They get all weird and then they let you do whatever you want.

"Well, um...yeah...you don't have to do the laps...just...yeah...well...weight room." He managed to get out. Then, face bright red, he walked away really quickly, as if I was contagious or something.

Grinning, I shot up and waved grabbed my jacket from the railing next to me.

"You were lying, weren't you?" Dragoneel asked me, eyes narrowed.

"Nope." I responded. Then, I walked towards the weight room and stepped in taping my hands up for a few rounds with the new bag Gray had bought just for us.

"Well, are you just going to stand there, or what? Let's go, Heartfilia!" Dragoneel said impatiently from next to me. Shooting him a death glare, I grabbed my gloves and I leaned into the bag and letting the frustration wash over me. Repeating set after set, trying to hit harder everytime.

You wanna know the trick I use? I pretend it's actually Dragoneel's face.

Thwack. There goes his beautiful face. Thwack. Wow, that probably hurt. Hee hee. Thwack. You get the picture.

"What did it ever done to you?" He asked, as I sent the bag spinning away from me with a heavy thump.

I merely grunted at him, swinging madly when it came barreling toward me. Unfortunately, Dragoneel was walking behind the bag to grab the spare gloves and he collided with the bag. Hard. Vibrations spread the floor as he got knocked promptly on his ass.

"SHIT! You idiot!" I yelled, clutching the bag to stop its swinging.

"That was your fault. What are you, blind?" He shot back, massaging his ass as he stood up.

"Don't fucking mess with me, Dragoneel. That was your fault." I growled.

"Are you stupid? That wasn't my fault at all. You dumb blonde." He sneered. Hey. Let's not bring the hair into this.

"I'd rather be a dumb blonde over a manwhore any day." I retorted coldly.

His face looked like it was carved from ice. "What did you call me?" He asked in a dangerous voice.

"A. MAN. WHORE." I enunciated each word clearly, right up in his face.

"Take it back." He said in that same dangerous voice.

"Make me." I challenged, raising an eyebrow.

"Take it back, you fucking bitch!" He tossed his gloves away from him.

"Excellent." I said bouncing on my feet. "Let's watch Natsu-chan get beaten up by Lucy again. Tell me, Dragon-kun, how does it feel to get beat by a girl?" I asked smugly.

"Shut the fuck up."

"No, I don't think I will, actually."

"FUCK YOU -!"

"I HATE YOU -!" I screamed and launched myself at him.

"ENOUGH!"

An arm appeared between us and pushed us back. I looked over and saw shirtless Gray standing us, looking thoroughly pissed off.

"This is it. You guys have fought for years, and it's starting to get on everyone's nerves. So, either forget about it on the ice or get off the team." He said angrily, glaring at us.

NO! I love Hockey. I need to stay on this team!

Gahh. Alright, Luce, it's not so hard, just swallow your pride and say those two simple words...

"I'm sorry." I muttered resentfully to Dragoneel.

"Yeah. I'm sorry too." He muttered back.

"See?" Gray smirked. "Was that so hard?"

Yes. "No." I said resignedly.

"Good. Now, get back to practice." He smiled at us once and then left. I made a face at his back, and then turned around to the punching bag again.

"Just stay out of my way." I hissed to Dragoneel, eyes narrowed.

"You stay out of mine." He hissed back.

"Fine."

"Fine."

"Good."

"Good."

Stupid Dragon.

Well, on the plus side, this was actually one of our more peaceful fights! No one got hurt this time! Yay for us!

Thwack. DIE, Dragoneel's face. Mwah ha ha.

NATSU DRAGONEEL

Alright, I have a confession to make.

I have a temporary, highly embarrassing, temporary, absolutely mortifying, TEMPORARY crush on Lucy Heartfilia.

...okay, well, I've had one since I was three.

And it's been...about thirteen years, so I guess this doesn't classify as 'temporary', per se...

But yeah. I'm sort of, kind of, maybe, crushing on her. Just a bit.

She's just...that sort of girl you like right away, you know? She has this long, golden-blonde hair, deep brown eyes, and fucking perfect body...she's beautiful. Absolutely, breathtakingly beautiful.

It doesn't help that she's funny and kind and sweet. It makes her even more irresistible. And, unfortunately, I mean that it makes her irresistible to everyone.

Do you know how hard it is to go on pretending to hate the one girl you really like?

Here's a hint: It's very hard.

And do you know how hard it is to not to beat up lads for even looking at her?

Here's another hint: even harder.

And do you know how painful it is to know that she HATES you with Every. Fucking. Last. Pore. In. Her. Body?

Very. Fucking. Painful.

I'm pretty sure Luce would rather pick my cat over me (whom has viciously used her as a scratching post before) over me.

Which, if you think about it, is extremely pathetic.

She prefers the asshole cat of a guy she hates over me.

Nice.

Do you hear that weird crunching sound?

Well, that's my self-esteem getting steamrolled.

See? It's all flat and dead-looking.

That's what Lucy does to me. I know that every girl in the school wants me (I've been told countless times in closets, abandoned classrooms, empty hallways...etc...), but it doesn't make a difference to me if that onegirl doesn't.

And she doesn't. Which is why I resort to sucking face with random girls to ease the pain.

Don't tell anyone, but I actually pretend that they'reher. And it honestly hurts when I open my eyes and I realize that they aren't.

Wow. I'm pathetic. I need mental help.

No. I need Lucy. I need her to be mine. Or at least to tolerate me a little.

I still hear her cold, angry, disgusted voice saying that word: manwhore.

Just stab me through the heart, why don't you?

(again).

It's just...I can't help it. I can't help but completely piss her off. It seems like it's the only time she'll ever look at me, when her eyes are flashing in anger and passion (I wish it was the right kind, but I, unfortunately, mean passionate HATE). Otherwise she'll just pretend I'm not there. Trust me, I know. I've spent a great deal of my life staring at her, and I know that she hasn't even glanced. Not once.

Sometimes I make myself really mad. I mean, here I am, acting like a complete prick, when in actuality; I'm crazy for this girl. And I act like I hate her, so she acts like she hates me, and it all just turns into one, big hate-fest that leaves her hating me even more.

I should try to be fixing this, I really should.

But her eyes, when she's mad. I love how they flash. I love it. And I can't help but want to see that over and over again.

Because they're flashing at me. And I love it.

But, maybe, it would be best, for the mental and physical well-being of us and those around us, to make those eyes flash with something else instead of hate. I shouldat least try to be civil.

...Nah.

But, seriously, if I want to win her over, I'm going to have to do something.

I have a little too much firebrand pride in me, though. I just can't back off. If she says something about me, I'll say something right back, god damn it! You can't judge a guy for being defensive.

Although now that I look back on it, I might have been a little harsh. With all the cursing and stuff.

Mavis, I really should try something else.

I can't take Jason Weekly's way, that's for sure (snort).

Oh. I should explain.

So, there are two people in this school who have an obsession over Lucy that rivals the obsession Juvia Lockser has for our precious Hockey captain Gray (god help her).

There's me. The 'secretly pining for the lady' guy. Outwardly, I act like I hate her. Inside...it's a whole different story.

And then there's Jason Weekly (snort). He acts like Juvia, the lovesick idiot.

Which basically, means that he asks her out every five minutes, usually in extremely creative and highly disturbing ways.

Like, that one time, when he presented a scrapbook to her. Wanna know what was in it? Let me tell you the first page: it was a picture of Lucy, next to a picture of Jason, with something along the lines of 'marry me' written across the top.

Oh, but it gets worse.

The next picture was a picture of Lucy, sleeping in a bed.

Yes, people, Jason Weekly snuck over to her place, crept into Lucy's room, watched her sleep for a bit, and then took a picture.

If that doesn't prove that Jason Weekly is creepiness incarnate, I don't know what does.

He's paving the way for stalkers everywhere, he is.

I didn't get to see the third page, because this was about when Lucy turned paper-white, shrieked 'STALKER!' at the top of her lungs whilst pointing accusingly at him, and then sprinted down the hall to chuck the book into the trash, screaming in genuine fear as she went.

And then she came back and yelled at him. I don't remember what it was about, but I can tell you that I memorized the exact color and shape of her perfect lips that day.

In case any of you wanted to know, her lips are the color of pink roses. Except shinier. And a whole lot plumper. And really, really perfect...

It makes me angry to think about the fact that Jason Weekly also spent his time staring at those lips.

I don't like it when people look at what's mine. Not. One. Bit.

"Ahem!"

Well, speak...er, think of the devil and the devil shall appear.

Jason Weekly. Who appears to be...as it seems, climbing up on the table and tapping a spoon against a cup to get everyone's attention.

Mavis, what is that bloke doing?

"Thank you," He said, once the chatter had died down. Everyone was staring at him in mild fascination. "I would like to take the moment to sing a song I have composed for my beloved Lucy Heartfilia." I glanced at said Lucy. Her face was a deep, bright red, and she was slowly sinking further and further under the table.

Jason cleared his throat, shot a bright smile at Lucy's forehead, and then took out a piece of paper.

"Hit it, David!" He said, pointing at a random student. David the random student took out a violin and started making these odd, screechy noises that I'm assuming were supposed to resemble music.

Jason cleared his throat again and opened his mouth.

Ha. I bet this is good. I leaned back in my seat to listen, a smirk playing at my lips.

LUCY HEARTIFILIA

This cannot be happening.

Please let it be a horrible, horrible nightmare, and when I wake up, everything will be okay and Jason will have disappeared off the face of the planet. Please.

While I'm at it, I'd also like a unicorn.

...and some brownies. Yeah, brownies are sounding great right about now.

Jason cleared his throat again.

Aw, god, no.

PLEASE! HAVE MERCY ON ME, FIRST!

"Your eyes shine like a million stars

Your skin is like creamy milk," Jason warbled in a ridiculous voice.

Gah! He calls that singing?!

That is the single worst thing I have ever heard, and that's saying a lot, because I'm currently being tortured by that 'violin' playing in the background.

Mavis hates me.

"Please be mine,

You're so divine.

Lucy Heartfilia, in my mind you shine."

Someone, kill me.

No, seriously. Do it. Please.

"Every time I see your face my heart feels like a...

...Stampeding crowd of animals,

Racing through the park,"

Who wrote those lyrics? His pet cat?!

"So Lucy, Oh Lucy I love you with all my heart,

Be mine, please, be mine.

You'll always stay with me in my heart."

He stretched out the last note, his voice cracking horribly at the end, and then bowed a couple of times to the wild applause that had broken out in the South Entrance.

Pick up a rock. Do it.

Good. Okay, ready?

Hit me with it. Right there. Yes. Right behind my head. Perfect.

Uh-huh. Now, take a deep, calming breath, and say remember the power comes from the hips.

It will be fine.

It's a kindness. Really. I Promise.

No?

Aw, come on, why?!

Fine. You suck.

"That is so creepy." I heard Levy say from above me in a scared voice.

I agree. Strongly.

"Luce! Get out from under there!" Cana added.

"NO!" I said.

"Lucy, come on...it wasn't so bad." Levy consoled. "It was a tad creepy, yes, and really badly sung...and the lyrics were absolute shit...aw, who am I kidding?! Itwas that bad. I am so glad that I'm not you right now."

Gee, thanks, Lev. Really. Your sympathy means so much to me.

"Luce, come on." Cana wheedled. "There's cheesecake!"

"Cheesecake?!" Immediately, I popped out from under the table, face glowing.

You know what? Absolute and utter mortification canwait. I need my cheesecake!

YES! One slice left! It's mine!

Holy shit.

Erza saw me.

Well, I die today.

But first CHEESECAKE-

Almost there...almost...almost...

"So, what did you think?"

Crash.

I whipped around and stood up, shattering about half the plates around me as my hand slammed against the table and tipped it.

"WHAT. WERE. YOU. THINKING?!" I shrieked at Jason, who was grinning broadly at me as if he had done something worthy of the Nobel Prize.

"So, you liked it?" He asked hopefully.

"NO I DID NOT FUCKING LIKE IT! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO YELL TO GET YOU TO UNDERSTAND?! I. DO. NOT. WANT. TO. GO. OUT. WITH. YOU!" I screamed. His grin slid off his face.

"NOT TODAY, NOT TOMORROW, NO, NOT EVEN THE DAY AFTER THAT! NOT WITH A CAT, NOT WITH A HAT, NOT EVEN WITH FLIPPIN' GREEN EGGS AND FLIPPIN' HAM! I DON'T WANT TO DATE YOU!"

"Shit, children's books? Really Luce? Try harder" Cana quipped

"I WILL NEVER GO OUT WITH YOU! EVER! GET THAT THROUGH YOUR THICK SKULL, JASON WEEKLY! I'D RATHER DATE HAPPY THAN GO OUT WITH YOU! HELL, I'D RATHER DATE DRAGONEEL, AND THAT'S SAYING SOMETHING, SINCE I ABHOR THAT CHILD! THAT'S HOW MUCH I HATE YOU! GET OUT OF MY SIGHT, NOW, BEFORE I DO SOMETHING I WILL REGRET!"

I was practically frothing at the mouth at this point.

Well, that's what you get for messing with me. You mess with a Heartfilia, you get the temper. I may not have gotten the salesman gene but I certainly have the hot head. And I'm not afraid to use it.

"Okay!" Jason said cheerfully, kissing me on the cheek. "I'll see you tomorrow, love!"

I'm speechless.

Mouth agape, I stared after him as he strutted down the hallway as if he owned the fucking place.

What did he - he just - temper - cheesecake - Dragoneel - red - WHAT THE FUCK?! ARGH!

Muttering darkly to myself, I sat down on the bench again, ignoring the giggles around me. Levy was poorly disguising her laughter as wild, hiccuping coughs, and Cana was rubbing my back soothingly, smiling in a serene way that I understood to mean that she was in hysterics on the inside.

Gahh. I hate my life.

And on top of that, the cheesecake is gone. Erza.... FUCK.

Great.

Just bloody fantastic.

Fuck my life.

You know what you should do now?

REVIEW.

But I'm not going to beg. Nope. I'm going to be a mature, poised, controlled, young adul-

OH, SCREW IT.

REVIEW! PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE?!

And that's the end ! Hope you enjoyed