Maybe I should have learnt my lesson the first time my life fell apart. I should have even seen it crawling up behind me that first time, ready to grasp me by my frail shoulders and drag me down onto the cold ground.

However, I was young and naive, like most people my age.

I thought it was finally going to work out. I thought that my relationship could be successful and I was going to have a happy end. Just for a short while, I hoped for it. I was in love with him, I truly was. He was the only person I could trust, the only person who knew the real me. I couldn't imagine life without him.

Then I had to go and screw it all up.

"Dinner tonight, don't forget!" Chris's voice echoed through the apartment as I grabbed my coat and got ready to leave.

"I remember!" I smiled as I walked out the door. The grin didn't leave my face the whole morning. Not when I was attacked with questions, not even when I was told one of our projects didn't make it through to the next phase.

"Miss McCormick?"

A stern voice made me look up from my paperwork. My boss — the only individual in the building with more authority than me — stood in the doorway of my small office.

"Good afternoon Mr Sanders." I promptly stood up from my chair and fixed my blazer to make sure I looked presentable. "What can I do for you, sir?"

"I have just come to inform you that you are under consideration for a raise. A generous one at that." His voice remained monotonous throughout as he looked down at me through his thin-rimmed glasses. Not in a disrespectful manner, God forbid! I was simply quite a lot shorter than he was.

"I don't know what to say, sir!" I replied happily. "I would be very grateful."

"Yes, well I have one request from you before I make a final decision." He adjusted his grip on the black briefcase he was holding. "I would like you to accompany me at a meeting with the Waterfield Corporation. I think you could provide some valuable input into the discussion."

"Certainly, sir." I nodded enthusiastically. "I would gladly join you."

"Gather your papers then. We leave now."

"Now? But—"

"Are you going, or are you not?"

"Yes, sir." I bit the inside of my lip. "Give me a moment please." I watched as he walked out of the room.

Oh god. What was I doing? What about dinner at the White Dragon with Chris? My hands began to shake. What would he think? He would hate me. I knew he would.

I glanced at the clock. It was five in the afternoon and I was supposed to be leaving work early today. I was supposed to leave in half an hour and enjoy a nice meal with my boyfriend. I cursed under my breath as I grabbed one of the numerous files on my desk.

My career or my relationship? A promotion or Chris?

My brain screamed at me. I couldn't fail. I couldn't give up my career. My instincts wouldn't allow it. I would be giving up my whole life's work. What use was all that effort if I wasn't prepared to dedicate everything to my work? I needed to be successful.

I promised him though. I promised Chris that I would go on another date. I promised him that I would make an effort to keep the relationship going.

Nothing is more important than your success.

I walked out of the building and met Sanders outside his black car. He opened the door and like an idiot, I got in and we drove away.

Guilt ate me up on the inside the entire time. I felt sick and I couldn't focus. All I could think about was Chris and the dinner I was going to miss.

While at the meeting, the minutes dragged and I couldn't concentrate on what they were saying. I think it was about a deal, but I wasn't paying attention. Chris's sad and disappointed expression was all I could see in my mind and I had to bite my cheek to make my brain focus on the pain instead.

What are you doing?

The voice in my head spoke up. That was a good question. I didn't know what I was doing or what I was supposed to do.

"What do you think, Miss McCormick?"

You love him, don't you?

Of course, I did. I loved him more than anything in the world.

"Miss McCormick?"

Then what are you doing here?

"Miss McCormick!" Sanders' voice cut through my mind and my head snapped up. I had completely zoned out. "Are you paying attention?"

I hastily got up and gathered my things.

"I'm really sorry but I have to go," I said and shoved the papers in my file.

"Excuse me?" Sanders was furious. I could tell by his intense gaze and furrowed brows that I was in trouble. I didn't care.

"I need to go. I'm sorry for the inconvenience."

Without another word I left the room and speeded out of the building. The wind outside caught me by surprise and a handful of my papers went flying down the road. There was no time to pick them up.

I caught the next bus back to city centre and ran towards the White Dragon as fast as my legs could carry me. I was going to fix this. I needed to fix this.

I could see the bright sign down the road from me, the eyes of the dragon watching me approach.

The door of the restaurant opened and out walked Chris, zipping up his jacket. He looked dismayed and my heart dropped.

"Chris!" I yelled and he turned around to face me. "Chris I'm here!" I stopped in front of him. I had made it in time. Or had I?

Chris shook his head at me. "No, you weren't here." His eyes were sad and I could tell I had disappointed him. Again.

"But I'm here now. I got caught up at work but I'm here, Chris."

If only he knew how much I was risking to be here.

"You're an hour late, Jane." He told me, his tone turning more annoyed than sad. "I waited an hour for you to turn up."

"I'm sorry, I—"

"No, Jane." He cut me off. "I've had enough of this. You clearly don't care that much about me."

"No! That's not it!" I couldn't believe what I was hearing. This couldn't be happening.

"I don't want to be with someone who can't even dedicate a small portion of their time to spend some with me. Love requires dedication, Jane." His gaze turned into a glare. "You must be head over heels for your job."

I was dumbfounded. I couldn't move, didn't know how to respond. I was losing him, just like I had feared.

He walked off and I didn't even attempt to run after him. I deserved this. I deserved every inch of pain I was feeling. The wound in my chest, the sickening feeling in my stomach; all of it.

I deserved all of it.

***

I lay in my bed motionless, eyes wide open. Three hours had passed and I was still in the same state of shock and pain. I didn't cry — I had forgotten how to after all these years.

My phone started ringing from the living room table where I had abandoned it when I finally dragged myself home. The call timed out and the apartment was silent again. The landline started ringing instead, the whining echoing loudly and making me wince at the sudden loud noise. I made no move to answer it.

"Please leave a message after the tone."

The voicemail had activated and I listened in to the message.

"Good afternoon Miss McCormick." It was Sanders. His voice was surprisingly calm, making me more uneasy. However, it was his message that sent me into a spiral of depression. "I just wanted to inform you that I was very disappointed with you today. How you acted was unprofessional and humiliating. You are no longer welcome at my company. Yes, you are fired and you can come to collect your belongings tomorrow morning. Good day, Miss McCormick."

There was a click and the message ended. I was enveloped in silence once more.